Back to Shore - Booklivesmatter (2024)

Chapter 1: Chapter One

Chapter Text

“Teenagers are idiots,” Chimney muttered as he and Buck stood at the edge of the cliff, harnessed up and peering down at two teenagers sprawled out on a ledge about fifty feet down the cliffside.

Neither of them was dressed for diving at the heights they were trying to dive from. The cliff they were on was approximately a hundred feet above the water.

“Why were they trying to dive in these conditions?” Buck asked, eyeing the waves below them. They were turbulent and if the two teenaged idiots had successfully made it into those waters, they’d probably be worse off than they were now.

Cliff diving wasn’t as popular a way to die as people would think. There were a few fatalities every year, but it wasn’t an outlandish number. Looking down at the water, Buck could have been convinced that more people died that way than they did. It looked so dangerous, but there were so many people who wanted an adrenaline rush that they were willing to do something so stupid to get it.

“Because they’re idiots,” Chimney said. “Idiots with a death wish,”

“Alright,” Bobby came up behind them. “Buck, Chim, go ahead and rappel down, we’ll send the baskets and C-Collars after you.”

“Copy that, Cap,” Buck replied.

Bobby patted him on the shoulder and headed back toward Hen, Riley, and Daniels.

Buck walked over a couple of feet so that he was on the other side of the ledge that the teenagers were on. He and Chimney turned to face their team and slowly leaned back, stepping down to brace their feet against the cliffside. They began to rappel down to the ledge, slowly but surely making their way to the injured couple.

Buck’s feet hit the ledge first. He knelt next to the girl who immediately fixed her wide, frightened eyes on him. The hair on the left side of her head was matted with blood and her arm was bent at an unnatural angle and was turning a nasty shade of purple.

“Hi, there,” he said. “I’m Buck with LAFD. What’s your name?”

“Lacey,” The girl whimpered.

“Hi, Lacey. I’m going to get you out of here, okay?” Buck promised. “You’re going to be just fine. Can you wiggle your toes for me?”

He glanced over at her feet just in time to see her toes move.

“Good, you’re not paralyzed,” Buck told her. “That’s good news. Anything hurt other than your head and arm?”

“My back doesn’t feel too great, but I did fall on it,” Lacey griped. “This is so stupid,”

Buck huffed out a laugh as he heard Chimney talking to the boy a few feet away.

“You’re actually lucky that you fell onto the ledge instead of jumping into the water,” Buck told her. “The chances of surviving the water in these conditions? Not great,”

“Justin wanted to do something fun,” Lacey told him. “I just wanted him to like me,”

Buck looked her in the eyes as he stabilized her arm. “No guy is so special that he’s worth dying for, got it?”

Lacey smiled slightly, just the corner of her mouth pulling up.

“Yeah,” she sighed. “you’re probably right,”

Buck smiled at her as Bobby’s voice came over the radio.

“Buck, I’m sending down the first basket and C-Collar. Secure the girl and start bringing her up.”

“Copy that, Cap,” Buck replied. He looked up and saw the basket and C-Collar descending toward him.

When it got within reach, he grabbed onto the basket and pulled it down, laying it beside Lacey. He grabbed the C-Collar out of the basket and turned back to the girl.

“Alright, I’m just going to put this around your neck to keep it stable and then I’m going to lift you into the basket, secure you and we’ll start heading back up the cliff, okay?”

“Okay,” Lacey whispered.

Buck slid the collar underneath her neck and then secured it. He then slid his arms under her and transferred her into the basket. She grunted lightly at the movement, but she didn’t resist as he strapped her in and secured her.

She made a nervous-sounding noise as he stood the basket upright. Buck was quick to reassure her.

“I’ve got you, you’re safe,” Buck promised her. “The basket is connected to a secure rope that’s going to pull you to safety. I’m going to climb up with you. You’re going to be just fine. Repeat after me, I’m okay.”

“I’m okay,” Lacey repeated.

“That’s right,” Buck said reassuringly. “Let’s go.” He reached for his radio and spoke to Bobby. “Bring us up, Cap,”

“Copy that, Buck,” Bobby replied. “Bringing you up.”

Buck began to scale the cliffside, keeping one hand on the rope and the other on the basket, keeping Lacey steady so that the rocking didn’t startle her.

They were about halfway up when Buck got a bad feeling. There was an unusual tugging feeling on his harness. He glanced down and saw that the latch on the end of the rope was breaking. He didn’t stop scaling the cliffside, but he took his hand off the basket for a moment to radio up to his team.

“The latch on the line is broken,” he said quietly. “I need another one ASAP, I’m about to fall.”

Bobby radioed back immediately. “Sending another line down, now. Buck! Do not let go of that rope. Hold on with both hands, the girl will be fine. Just hang in there.”

“Copy that, Cap,” Buck replied. “I don’t plan on dying today,”

“You’re not going to, Buck,” Bobby said sternly. “We’ve got you.”

Buck looked at Lacey. She was staring at him in terror.

“You’re going to fall?” she asked shakily.

“I’ll hold myself up until the new line gets here and I can latch it on,” Buck told her. “There’s nothing to be afraid of.”

“Please don’t leave me,” She whimpered. “I’m scared.”

“I’m right here,” Buck told her. “It’s okay,”

He looked up and saw the new line descending toward him. It wasn’t fast enough. The latch kept bending and Buck knew that he was going to fall. He was holding on to the rope with both hands, he’d made it a few more feet up the cliffside, hoping that he could hold onto the rope when the latch inevitably broke.

Luck was not on Buck’s side. The latch broke and his body weight dropped. He held on to the rope tightly with both hands, but gravity was working against him, pulling him down toward the ocean.

“It broke!” He yelled as loudly as he could.

“Buck!” Chimney radioed from the ledge. “Hang on! Don’t let go!”

“Buck!” Cap looked over the edge and the line started descending faster. “Grab the line!”

Buck tried to pull himself up further so that he could get closer to the new line. He pulled with all his strength, trying to get close enough to take hold of the other line. He let go with one hand and stretched to grab the line, but it was still out of reach.

He strained, using every fiber of his being, to try and grab the line. It was still out of reach. His hands started to slide, and he dropped a few inches. He looked at Lacey and then down at the ocean beneath them.

He watched as the waves crashed against the cliffside and he thought about how he was about to fall into that. He didn’t want to die, but he knew the likelihood of him surviving the fall alone was slim. Add in turbulent waves and rocks and he was toast. He tried to swallow his fear for the girl’s sake, but he didn’t think he was doing a great job.

“No,” Lacey said, apparently realizing what was happening. “No, don’t let go.”

“I don’t think I’m going to have a choice in a second,” Buck told her as his hands slid again. “I’m going to fall, but you’re secure. You’re going to be fine, don’t be scared.”

“No,” She sobbed. “Don’t fall,”

“Lacey,” Buck said seriously. “Close your eyes.”

She cried a little harder, stared at him for a moment, and then closed her eyes.

“Please don’t leave me here,” She begged quietly.

“I’m sorry,” Buck said, trying to hold on for as long as he could. “I can’t hold on any longer, but you’re safe. Remember? You’re okay.”

“I’m okay,” She sobbed, repeating Buck.

“That’s right,” Buck said reassuringly. “You’re okay.”

“Buck!” Bobby yelled. “Grab it!”

Buck looked to see the new line just within reach. He made one last attempt to reach up and grab it, but as he strained to grab it, his other hand slipped and before he knew it, he was free-falling.

He heard his team screaming for him as the air whipped around him. For a nearly eighty-foot drop, it went by quickly. He hit the water and was immediately enveloped in the waves. He was instantly disoriented. He wasn’t sure which way was up and the waves were tossing him around, making him dizzy. He knew he needed to start swimming; he was just afraid he was going the wrong way. He kicked his legs as hard as he could, but he wasn’t powerful enough to swim against the waves.

The water threw him to the side and his lungs started to burn. He wasn’t sure that he could hold his breath much longer. It felt like everything around him was spinning, the water was constantly moving, and it felt alive. Like it had a mind of its own.

As the current kept pulling him, probably out to sea, and Buck resisted, he was thrown up against something hard. His entire left side made an impact against it, maybe some rocks, and he felt pain in his temple and his leg. He gasped at the impact and got a mouthful of saltwater. He began to cough and that led to choking.

He started to kick for the surface again, but his left leg wouldn’t cooperate. It was broken. The water around him was tinged red with his blood. This time he managed to break the surface. He gasped, breathing in the air and coughing against the saltwater that he’d accidentally drank. He looked around, bobbing up and down in the water as the waves kept coming. The cliff he’d been working at was nowhere to be seen. He’d been dragged out to sea, and he had no idea which way to go to get back home. All he had with him was his emergency pack that Cap always made them carry unless they got separated. He had two bottles of water, a handful of granola bars, a knife, and some tape. He’d left his cell phone with Bobby, not that he’d probably get any reception out here.

He tried his radio, but there was just static. He looked around and saw the blood in the water again. He needed to find something to float on, some sort of debris or something that he could lay on so that he wouldn’t attract sharks, but also because he knew too much time in saltwater would dehydrate him.

He swam for as long as he could, just picking a direction and hoping it was the right one. Finally, he spotted something. It was one of those inflatable life rafts.

“Hey!” He yelled, thinking maybe someone was in it. He swam in that direction. Maybe God didn’t hate him as much as it seemed. “Hey! Is someone in there?”

He made it to the raft, and he grabbed onto the side, hauling himself up and into it. No one was there.

“Damn it,” Buck muttered, and he pulled himself inside the raft.

There was no sign that anyone had ever been in the raft, it might have fallen off a ship or something. It was also what was going to save Buck’s life, so he was grateful for it. He looked down at his leg and saw the blood was already pooling in the raft.

With shaky hands, he removed his harness and used it as a makeshift tourniquet. Then, he opened his emergency pack. He pulled out the tape and the knife. He cut off the sleeve of his LAFD t-shirt and used them as gauze and taped one to the wound on his leg and the other to the side of his head, wincing as he thought about how much it would hurt when they pulled the tape away from his hair.

He laid back and just breathed, listening to the waves and trying not to panic as he felt the raft moving around. They’d find him. Bobby would have called the Coast Guard. They would find him before he died out here. They would. They would.

Chapter 2: Chapter Two

Chapter Text

DAY ONE

Bobby held back tears as he listened to Hen screaming as they waited for Buck to resurface. He’d just fallen eighty feet into an unforgiving ocean that seemed to be having a pretty bad day in terms of the current. He watched as the waves fought against themselves, crashing up against the rocks and then pulling everything back out to sea.

He wondered if Buck had been tossed against the rocks. He wondered if he was still conscious. He wondered if he was drifting down to the floor of the ocean, bleeding, drowning, dead. He shook his head and squeezed his eyes closed.

He was terrified, but he couldn’t afford to be. The rest of his team were depending on him to lead them. He needed to pull himself together. As soon as he saw Buck disappear into the waves, he’d called for the Coast Guard and Search and Rescue. They were ten minutes out and all Bobby could think was that Buck didn’t have ten minutes to spare.

He opened his eyes again and looked at the water. Chimney had made it up from the ledge and he’d loaded his patient into the ambulance, so both teenagers were on their way to the hospital. Bobby willed Buck to breach the surface, but he didn’t. There was no sign of the over-eager firefighter.

He felt like something in him was breaking. He couldn’t quite manage to take a deep breath. He put a hand against his chest as he saw the Coast Guard boats pull up and divers started jumping into the water.

“Buck!” Hen was sobbing.

Chimney had his arms around her, but tears were streaming down his cheeks, too.

Bobby barely registered the extra personnel arriving behind them. Another ambulance and a few police cars had pulled up. A hand landed on his arm that he recognized. Bobby turned to look at his wife, barely able to pull his eyes away from the water.

“He fell,” Bobby said. He swallowed back the bile that started rising in his throat. “He didn’t come back up.”

Athena looked like she wanted to cry, too. “They’ll find him,” she swore. “They have to. That kid isn’t allowed to die. Not yet.”

Bobby nodded, trying to seem more confident than he actually felt.

“I don’t think I could take it,” He admitted quietly.

“I know,” Athena sounded like she actually understood. “He’s yours. Ours.”

Bobby took a shaky breath. Athena was right. Bobby had known that Buck was different from the first time he’d met him. He hadn’t been sure what it was at first, but over time he’d fallen in love. As far as he was concerned, Evan Buckley was just as much his son as his Evan and Robert Jr. had been. Just as much his family as Harry or May or Brook.

His son had just fallen from a cliff and into dangerous waters. He watched as Search and Rescue valiantly searched for Evan, but he had a sinking feeling that they wouldn’t find him.

***

As Captain of the 118, Bobby felt that it was his responsibility to tell Maddie that her brother was missing in action. He knocked on the door of her and Chimney’s apartment where she was staying with their daughter, Jee-Yun. Chimney had stayed at the scene to help with the search efforts.

Maddie opened the door and Bobby felt like she’d punched him in the gut. She already looked terrible. Chimney had told him that she was struggling with Postpartum depression, and Bobby hated to add more to her already full plate, but she deserved to know.

Thankfully, Albert was already in the apartment with her, sitting on the couch and looking back at Bobby with wide eyes.

“Captain Nash?” Maddie asked. She looked both scared and confused.

“Ms. Buckley,” he said hesitantly. “I’m here to inform you that Evan has been in an accident.”

He could barely choke the words out. It was like there was glass in his throat, trying to fight back against the words. It didn’t feel right, saying that Buck was missing. It felt like he was speaking it out into the universe, and the more that he said it the more he doomed the man. It was unrealistic, but Bobby felt like he was spiraling.

He had urges from time to time, wanting to drink or go find some pills. That was normal. But ever since he saw Evan start to fall, he’d been jumping back and forth between thinking about Buck and thinking about going to get blackout drunk so he could forget that his son might be dead.

“Is he – Is he in the hospital?” Maddie asked, her voice wavering.

Her eyes were begging him to tell her that he’d be fine. That Evan and Chimney would both come home from this. He hated himself for having to tell her anything other than that.

Bobby shook his head, tears stinging in his eyes. “Search and Rescue are looking for him right now. He fell from a cliffside while rescuing two divers that fell onto a ledge. The latch on his line broke and he fell into the ocean.”

Maddie brought a shaking hand up to her mouth in horror.

“Oh God!” she cried.

Albert jumped off the couch and wrapped his arms around her, catching her as her knees gave out. She was sobbing, she looked absolutely devastated. She looked the way that Bobby felt, she looked destroyed.

“We’re doing everything we can to find him,” Bobby assured her. He felt like he was reassuring himself at the same time. “We will call you with any updates as they come. We’re going to find him, Maddie. Buck is well trained; he knows what to do and how to survive in these situations.”

Maddie nodded tearfully, trying to get herself pulled back together. Bobby backed away remorsefully.

“I call you as soon as I hear something,” He promised, and Albert closed the door.

Within half an hour Bobby was standing at a different door.

It swung open and Eddie looked at him in confusion. He was drying his hands on a dish rag, and he wasn’t wearing the sling that he was supposed to be. Christopher was yelling in excitement from somewhere inside and Bobby could hear Carla laughing.

He was about to completely ruin their day. Even through the confusion, Bobby could tell that Eddie had been happy before he’d shown up. There was a ghost of a smile still on his face and his eyes had a happy light in them. Bobby hated to know that he was about to take that away from him.

“Cap? What are you doing here?” He asked, opening the door wider so Bobby could come in.

“Why don’t you come out here so we can talk?” Bobby backed up. He didn’t want Christopher to overhear them. Eddie nodded and he tossed the rag onto the table in the entryway, and he followed Bobby out onto the porch. The confusion on his face gave way to dread.

“What happened?” Eddie asked. His expression had completely shut down, it was like he was steeling himself for something horrible.

“Buck is MIA,” Bobby said gently. “We were responding to a call out at Santa Monica Beach, some divers fell from a cliff onto a ledge fifty feet down. Buck had gone down on a line to bring a girl up, and the latch on his line broke. He fell about eighty feet into the ocean. Search and Rescue is looking for him, but it’s been a few hours, and they haven’t found him yet.”

Eddie nodded. He was trying to keep it together, but his face crumpled, and he put his hands on his hips. He sniffled and Bobby moved in close and put his hand on Eddie’s shoulder. Eddie sobbed quietly for a moment before he looked up at Bobby.

He looked wrecked. “Do you think he’s dead?” It came out as a whisper. Fear was prevalent in his eyes and Bobby’s heart broke a little more.

“I think he’s a fighter,” Bobby said honestly. “I don’t want to entertain the idea of a world without him in it.”

“Neither do I,” Eddie said. “He’s my best friend,”

Bobby looked into Eddie’s eyes, and he understood. Buck and Eddie had been nearly inseparable from their first day working together. The bond they had was incomparable. Buck meant so much to Eddie and Christopher. He knew that they’d built a family together, they were the best platonic co-parents that Bobby had ever seen.

“I know,” Bobby told him, squeezing Eddie’s shoulder. “He loves you, too.”

Eddie blinked through his tears. “What if we can’t find him?”

“We will,” Bobby promised. “We’re going to find him, Eddie. I won’t give up on him. That kid,” He sighed and shook his head. “He’s like my son. I can’t lose him.”

Eddie nodded in agreement. “Find him.” He said. “Please, find him. I can’t… I can’t tell Christopher. I can’t tell him that another person we love is dead.”

“We’ll find him,” Bobby said.

DAY TWO

He’d been missing for twenty-seven hours. Bobby couldn’t sleep. He didn’t want to eat. He kept looking at his phone, praying for a phone call with good news. Athena kept fussing over him because she didn’t want to sit still long enough to be forced to think about their situation.

But all Bobby could do was think. All he could do was think about the countless possibilities.

Buck lying on the floor of the ocean, dead. Buck stranded out at sea, starving. Buck eaten by a shark. Buck dead, dead, dead.

And then Bobby wanted to down an entire bottle of scotch. He wanted to drink away the pain and just forget for a while. Then he thought about how disappointed everyone would be in him. How disappointed Buck would be.

So, he found the strength to stay in his seat and not go buy out a liquor store. He wasn’t sure if he should be proud of himself or not.

Chimney had texted Bobby earlier and told him that Maddie had called her and Buck’s parents. They were on their way to Los Angeles. Bobby had told Chimney to let him know when they got here so that he could introduce himself.

Bobby figured the least he could do was give them what little explanation he could. The more that he repeated that explanation, though, the more he wanted to punch himself in the face. How can there not be more than ‘Evan was on a line, rescuing a girl, and the latch on his harness broke and he fell into the ocean.’? How had they not already found him? Or at least found signs of him?

Bobby felt like a failure.

He also felt useless. The team had been taken off active duty for the duration of the search for Buck. It would be extended if he was found dead. Bobby should be out there looking for Buck, not sitting at his dining room table staring at the stained wood and doing nothing.

Bobby didn’t want to keep spiraling the way he was. He didn’t want to think about the countless ways that Buck might have died. The ways that he might have suffered. He didn’t want to think about the fact that his last memory of Buck might be him falling, screaming as the ocean swallowed him whole.

He wanted to believe with every fiber of his being that Buck had fought. That he had survived. He wanted to feel it deep down in his gut, he wanted to feel with absolute certainty that Buck was alive.

“You need to eat,” Athena told him, placing her hands on his shoulders and rubbing them in a way that should have been comforting. Instead, it made him want to jump out of his skin. It felt wrong. He didn’t deserve to be comforted. He’d let Evan fall.

“Not hungry,” Bobby murmured.

It was true. He wasn’t hungry, he felt sick.

“You’re no use to Buck like this, Bobby,” Athena said. “You need to take care of yourself.”

“I’m no use to him at all!” Bobby snapped. “I have no idea where he is! No idea how to find him! No idea if my son is even alive! I can’t… I can’t,” he started to bawl. One hand came up to wrap around his throat loosely. “I can’t breathe!”

“I know,” Athena murmured. “I know, baby. I know,”

DAY THREE

Eddie was hiding. He wasn’t proud of it, but he was. He was hiding from his son because he’d asked for Buck that morning. Eddie had changed the subject, which hadn’t been the most subtle thing he could have done, but he’d panicked.

He thought he would have more time before Christopher picked up on Buck’s absence. He should have known better, though. Christopher loved Buck. There was a reason that Eddie had chosen Buck to be Christopher’s godfather and it wasn’t just because Buck was his best friend.

Buck meant so much to Christopher. Buck was a… safe place for Christopher. He helped him with his homework, he baked with him, and he had stayed with him after Eddie had been shot. Buck always made sure that Chris was taken care of. He loved Christopher just as much as the boy loved him.

Carla had looked at him suspiciously when he’d changed the subject. Eddie hadn’t told her about Buck being MIA either. He couldn’t make himself say the words out loud. That would make it too real. He’d put all his hopes in Search and Rescue, hoping that they’d find Buck before Eddie inevitably had to break his son’s heart and tell him that his, essentially, second father was missing and presumed dead.

He'd laid awake at night before pulling himself out of bed and sat at the kitchen table in the dark nursing beer after beer. He’d dissected the way that he was feeling about Buck being gone. He felt empty, despondent, just… destroyed.

The not knowing for sure was killing him. Was Buck alive? Was he dead? Had he suffered? Was he still suffering?

The look that Carla had given him earlier made it clear that Eddie needed to think of something to say and say it fast. He had to tell them that Buck was missing. It had been three days and there was no sign of him. No sign that they were even getting any closer to finding him.

Eddie gripped the edge of the countertop, his knuckles turned white at the force with which he hung on to it. He took a deep, shaky breath and tried to steel himself. It didn’t work. He couldn’t keep his composure, not that he was sure he’d managed to have any sort of composure since Bobby had come over.

If he had, it had broken again when Bobby had called to tell him that Buck’s parents had arrived. He’d told him that they were staying in Buck’s apartment and he’d gone over to speak with them. Apparently, it had gone well; a little too well. The Buckleys had seemed bothered, maybe a little uneasy, but they hadn’t been devastated. They hadn’t appeared to be scared out of their mind for their son, they hadn’t been grieving. Bobby said it had seemed more like they were upset that Buck was putting them through this like he’d planned it.

Now, Eddie was devastated that his partner was missing, he was upset that he might never see him again, and he was flaming pissed at Buck’s parents.

He dropped his head, letting it hang and he braced himself further against the kitchen counter. He took one more deep breath and pushed himself up. He looked toward the living room where Carla and Christopher were watching a movie. He allowed himself a moment to just bask in the sound of his son’s laugh.

He was about to crush him.

“Hey, guys, can you come in here a minute?” Eddie called loudly.

Christopher groaned and Carla chuckled while she admonished him. The movie paused and he listened to the sounds of the duo getting up from the couch and padding toward the kitchen.

Christopher and Carla came into the kitchen with inquisitive looks on their faces.

“Sit down,” Eddie’s voice sounded strained. “I have something to tell you,”

Carla pulled a chair out for Christopher and took the seat beside him. She looked at him with worried eyes and Eddie felt his resolve waver. He rounded the counter and leaned back against it, crossing his arms defensively against his chest.

“Eddie, is everything okay?” Carla asked after a moment.

“No,” He whispered. “Um, do you remember the other day when Bobby came to talk with me outside?”

“Yeah, Dad,” Christopher said, still sounding annoyed that Eddie had interrupted the movie.

“I know I said that he had come to check on me, but I lied.” Eddie looked directly into his son’s eyes. “And I’m sorry about that, but I was hoping that things would change, and I could tell you the bad news and good news at the same time, but the good news hasn’t come yet.”

Eddie took a shaky breath and felt like he was about to burst into tears. He felt his face heat up as some tears leaked out of his eyes. He wiped his face frantically and tried to even his breathing back out.

“Eddie,” Carla stood up and grabbed him by the arm, trying to comfort him. “Oh, what happened?”

“Dad?” Christopher asked. “Why are you crying?”

Eddie gave up on trying to fight the tears and he gently pulled himself out of Carla’s hold. He knelt down in front of his son and looked into his eyes.

“Buddy, Buck is missing right now. He was trying to save a girl who had fallen off a cliff, but the rope that was holding him in the air broke. He fell into the ocean when it wasn’t safe, and he’s lost.” Eddie started to cry a little harder. “There’s a lot of people trying to find him, though. They haven’t given up, yet.”

“Buck’s gone?” Christopher asked, sounding just as distraught as Eddie felt.

“Yeah, buddy,” Eddie said. He looked at Carla who was nearly in tears. “He’s gone.”

Eddie wasn’t prepared for the way that Chris started wailing. Eddie immediately hugged him to his chest, holding him tightly. He began to sob uncontrollably, finally letting himself go. He put a hand in Christopher’s hair and let himself feel everything he’d been feeling.

The pain, the loss, the grief, the fury, the fear. He felt it all.

Chapter 3: Chapter Three

Chapter Text

DAY FOUR

Buck had been drifting for four days. The only reason he knew that was because he’d been tracking the sunrise and sunset.

He’d been drinking as little water as he possibly could. Taking a bite at a time of the granola bars to make it last as long as he can. He was hungry, he was thirsty, his skin was starting to burn, and water kept coming into the raft from big waves. He was freezing at night and sweating during the daytime.

He was in Hell.

He’d gone so long without being around people that he felt like he was starting to lose his mind just a little. He hadn’t spoken in days. He just sat alone with his thoughts. He thought about all the people he was missing. The 118, Athena, Maddie, Christopher, Jee-Yun.

He wondered if he would ever see them again. If he’d get a chance to tell them all how he really feels about them. How they’d given him a family where he’d never had one before. How Bobby and Athena were the closest things he’d ever had to parents. How Maddie, Chimney, and Hen were the best siblings he could ever ask for. How Eddie was the best friend he’d ever had, and Christopher was the best son in the world.

Buck groaned lightly and turned his head to the other side. He closed his eyes against the sun and just breathed. He thought he’d be found by now. He wondered if they were still looking for him. He wanted to go home. He didn’t want to die out here. He still had things he wanted to do. He had regrets. He had people that didn’t know exactly how he felt about them.

He just wanted to go home.

DAY FIVE

Chimney wasn’t sure what to do anymore. He’d been going back to the scene every day to try and help with the search for Buck. There wasn’t much that he could do, though. The search efforts were moving away from the cliffside and out into the ocean and to the rest of the coast.

The Chief was making calls to all the hospitals and morgues in the area, anywhere where Buck could have washed up. So far, no one matching his description had been brought in. The guy in charge of the scene had told Chimney to go home. He’d said there was nothing left for him to do there.

It killed him to walk away from the beach and, essentially, leave Buck behind. He felt like he was giving up on his little brother and it made him feel like absolute sh*t. What made him feel worse was the way that Maddie was acting. It was like Evan had already been found dead.

If she’d been acting depressed before he’d gone missing, she was acting downright suicidal now. He caught her staring into space with silent tears running down her face more often than not. She was practically comatose. He wasn’t sure what to do anymore.

Normally he’d call someone on the team, Bobby, Hen, or Evan, but they were all in the same boat this time. There was no one to ask for help. They were suffering this tragedy together.

He might not be able to get help for Maddie, but there was something that he could do for Buck. Chimney pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialed Tommy Kinard’s number. The last time he’d cashed in a favor was when 9-1-1 went down and that neighborhood fire went out of control, it was long past time for him to cash in another one.

“Kinard,” Tommy answered.

“Tommy,” Chimney knew he sounded like sh*t. “It’s Howie,”

“Yeah, I’ve got your number saved in my phone,” Tommy sounded vaguely amused. “What’s up?”

“Have you heard about that firefighter that’s missing?” Chimney asked.

“Yeah,” Tommy’s tone went from pleasant to a little sad. “he’s from the 118 right?”

“Yeah, he is,” Chimney confirmed. “He’s a really good kid, and I happen to be dating his sister. He’s like my little brother. I know they’re calling in Air Operations, and I would just feel a lot better if I knew that the best pilot was out there looking for him.”

“You want me to put myself on the Op,” Tommy concluded.

“Tommy,” Chimney felt tears burning in his eyes. “This kid can’t die, he can’t. He’s family. You’re the best pilot I know.”

“I’m the only pilot you know,” Tommy corrected. “I’ll do it. I’ll call you if I find anything,”

“Thank you,” Chimney said, his voice breaking.

“Don’t thank me yet,” Tommy didn’t sound very optimistic. “Thank me if I find him.”

DAY SIX

Bobby was trying to decide between holding Maddie Buckley back or standing by and watching as she brutally murdered her parents.

“What do you mean?” She screamed.

Phillip and Margaret Buckley flinched at the volume and Jee-Yun began to cry. Chimney went to stand beside her playpen to comfort her, but he was glaring at the Buckleys too.

Bobby, Athena, and Eddie flanked Buck’s sister, both of them had their arms crossed across their chests. The Buckleys didn’t back down, though. They didn’t look the least bit intimidated.

“It’s time Maddie,” Phillip said in a patronizing tone. “He’s dead,”

“No!” Maddie yelled. “He isn’t! Not until they find his body. It’s only been six days!”

“You can’t give up, yet! Come on,” Eddie said. “He’s out there somewhere, waiting for us to rescue him!”

The poor guy looked like hell. It was clear he hadn’t been sleeping, at least not well. He had extremely pronounced bags under his eyes, he was paler than usual, and he looked exhausted.

Margaret and Phillip Buckley, however, didn’t look like they cared at all. They looked like they couldn’t wait to be done with the conversation. Done with Buck. It made Bobby so angry because he knew what it was to lose a child. He knew the pain of understanding that you were never going to get to hug your babies ever again, never see them finish growing up, never see them get married, never see them have children of their own. He knew the tragedy of a life cut short.

“We submitted the petition as soon as we got here,” Margaret explained. “If Evan isn’t found by tomorrow, he will be declared dead. We gave them a week, Maddie. We aren’t being unreasonable.”

Bobby’s temper flared.

“No, you’re just giving up on your son,” He snapped. “Evan is trained, he knows what to do in emergency situations. He could be out there, holding on, waiting for help, and you’re just going to give on him? On your child?”

“He drowned, Captain Nash,” Phillip said sternly. “It’s been six days. It’s time to put him to rest.”

“He isn’t at rest. Wherever he is, he needs help. You may be prepared to give up on him, but I know him better than you do. I know that, without a doubt, he is still out there fighting, and you aren’t willing to give him a chance to come home.”

“Because you never really loved him,” Maddie accused.

“Maddie, that’s enough,” Margaret sighed. “This is getting out of hand.”

“No,” Maddie shook her head. “No, we’re just finally being honest.”

“Of course we loved Evan,” Phillip told her.

“Love. Not loved. Love. He’s not dead. He’s still alive, so don’t talk about him like he’s dead!” Maddie snapped, Athena put her hands on the girl’s upper arms, holding her back from lunging at her parents. “You never loved him! You never wanted him! You just adopted him so that he’d save Daniel, and he couldn’t, and you never stopped blaming him for that! You can barely even look at him! He doesn’t deserve the way you treated him! You shouldn’t be the ones making this decision! It should be me! It should be his team! Because we love him! We know him! He is out there, and he needs us!”

Phillip and Margaret stared at their daughter like they’d never seen her before.

“Just give us more time,” Chimney said. “He’s out there somewhere. We can’t pull the resources now. Let them keep looking while they believe there’s still a chance.”

“You don’t know what it’s like,” Margaret said tearfully. “None of you understand, losing a child like that, I just couldn’t connect to Evan after we lost Daniel.”

“I had a son who was kidnapped twenty-four years ago. Then I had a son and a daughter that died in a fire seven years ago.” Bobby said, Athena shifted closer to him in silent support. “And I could still connect with my stepchildren. With Buck. Even though my kids are gone, I still had the capacity to love other kids. It’s not Buck’s fault that your son died, so don’t condemn him now for that. You have a chance to save this son, don’t give up on him.”

“We need to give our family the best chance for closure,” Phillip shook his head, brushing Bobby off.

“You mean that you just want to get this over with and go back home.” Eddie seethed. “You don’t want to deal with all of this, but you also want to be seen at the funeral.”

“I think this conversation is over,” Phillip said, acting like they were being unreasonable.

“No,” Athena spoke up. “I don’t think it is. If you want to stop looking for Evan, that’s on you. But we aren’t giving up on him. We’re going to keep looking for him and when we find him and he hears that you gave up on him, how do you think he’s going to take that?”

Margaret and Phillip didn’t have an answer.

DAY SEVEN

At five o’clock in the afternoon on the seventh day of search and rescue efforts, the search for Evan Buckley was called off. The 118 stood at the edge of the cliff where Evan had gone missing and stared out at the ocean.

They had their arms around each other and tears running down each of their faces.

“This isn’t over,” Bobby said, his voice wavered slightly. “We’ll find him without them.”

No one was convinced, but Bobby still tightened his arm around Eddie, trying to reassure the man.

“He’s still out there somewhere,” Eddie said quietly.

“I know,” Bobby said. “We’ll get him.”

Tommy Kinard, who was packing up his gear and loading it into an LAFD SUV, came up to them with an apologetic look on his face.

“I’m sorry guys,” He said quietly. “I wish there was more I could do,”

Bobby turned to him, freed one of his arms, and clapped him on the shoulder.

“You did everything you could,” Bobby assured him. “Thank you for helping,”

Tommy didn’t look convinced. “I’m going to try and convince my captain to continue looking. We can call it Search and Recovery, but at least we’d still be looking right?”

Chimney turned to look at the pilot.

“That would be great,” he said, tears still streaming down his face. “Thank you, Tommy,”

Tommy looked like he wanted to refuse their gratitude, but he shook his head and walked away.

Chapter 4: Chapter Four

Chapter Text

DAY ELEVEN

Buck woke up to the feeling of being lifted. Something was put over his nose and mouth and he felt like he was being tied down to something. He opened his eyes slightly and saw paramedics kneeling over him.

“He’s a firefighter,” One of them said. Her blonde hair was in a braid. “Look at his shirt,”

The other paramedic looked down at Buck’s torn shirt and his eyebrows raised. “We’ve got you, sir.” He said looking at Buck’s face and seeing that his eyes were open. “You’re going to be alright.”

They started a saline drip, properly bandaged his cuts, put his leg in a splint, and loaded him into the back of an ambulance.

Everything hurt, his leg was throbbing after having been moved. His head was pounding, his skin felt like it was on fire. He was so hungry and thirsty that he wasn’t feeling it anymore. Everything felt so surreal, it was almost like he didn’t feel like he was in his body anymore, but he wasn’t seeing everything from above like you saw in the movies. He just felt wrong.

He was hooked up to the heart monitor and the paramedics took his vitals. The man sat beside him, holding the IV bag up. Buck stared at him, starting to feel more tired. It took so much energy to even keep his eyes open.

“You’re a long way from home,” The paramedic said nonchalantly. “Welcome to Catalina Island,”

Catalina Island was quite a way off the coast of California. There’s no telling how long Buck had been drifting at sea. He groaned, feeling sick. Did his family think he was dead?

“His blood pressure is bottoming out.” The woman said.

“Damn it,” The man jumped up. “He’s coding.”

Buck’s eyes drifted shut just as pain enveloped his chest.

DAY THIRTEEN

Athena couldn’t focus on anything other than the fact that Evan Buckley’s funeral was being planned as she sat behind a desk and stared at a computer screen. Following the end of the search for her pseudo-son, Elaine had put her on desk duty. Athena hadn’t even protested. She just accepted being benched and sat at her desk, doing hardly any work.

So, when Elaine approached her desk with a strange look on her face, Athena thought she’d be sent home on bereavement leave. Instead, Elaine asked her to follow her into her office.

Athena sat at the desk for a second longer before she slowly stood up and followed after her boss. She felt…hollow. Like she wasn’t there anymore. She didn’t have the same motivation she usually did to do her job. In any other crisis, even if her husband had been hurt, she threw herself into her work and she put all her focus on that to push the pain aside for a while longer. She couldn’t do that this time. She felt so lost.

She made it into the office and closed the door behind her.

“Yes?” She asked. Her voice sounded hoarse. She hadn’t been doing much talking recently.

“Athena,” Elaine leaned against her desk. “I have some news, why don’t you take a seat?”

She gestured to one of the chairs that were situated in front of her desk. Athena numbly took a seat in front of her boss, wondering what the news was.

Elaine started to open her mouth to say something, but she stopped, took the seat next to Athena, and took her hands, holding them tightly.

“I just got a call from Cedar Sinai,” Elaine informed her. “Evan Buckley was just admitted this morning. He’s alive, Athena. But he is in critical condition.”

“What?” Athena gasped. Tears started flowing down her cheeks and she was sobbing. Buck was alive. He was alive. They’d found him.

“He washed up on Catalina Island two days ago and was admitted to Catalina Island Health. They stabilized him there and life-flighted him to Cedar Sinai this morning. I guess he was still in his LAFD shirt when he washed up. The staff at Cedar recognized him from the bombing. Like I said he’s still in critical condition, but he’s stable.”

Athena leaned forward, placing her forehead against her and Elaine’s hands. She was barely able to breathe, she was crying so hard. Elaine let go of one of her hands and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

“Thank you,” Athena bawled. “Oh, thank you.”

She may have been crying, barely able to breathe, but she felt lighter than she had in nearly two weeks. She felt hopeful, she felt joyful. She didn’t feel empty anymore. Her boy was alive and he was in the hospital.

Elaine rubbed her back and made comforting noises as Athena finally gave herself a moment to feel what she’d been suppressing the last two weeks and let that go because she didn’t have to feel that way anymore because Buck was alive.

“Oh, God,” Athena took a shuddering breath. “He’s alive,” her voice broke.

“He’s alive,” Elaine said reassuringly.

“Oh, my baby,” Athena took a deep breath. “I have to – I have to go see him.”

She stood up on shaking legs and Elaine reached up and steadied her.

“I’m putting you on family leave, take all the time you need. Come back when you’re ready.” Elaine said calmly. “Vargas is going to drive you to the hospital. Williams and Stafford are on their way to Mr. Buckley’s apartment, you said everyone was there?”

“Yes,” Athena nodded. “They’re planning the funeral.”

Elaine smiled wryly. “Well, that won’t be necessary, now.”

“No,” Athena said with determination. “No, it will not.”

***

Everyone had gathered at Buck’s apartment. This time they were discussing funeral arrangements. Bobby wanted to check out and not listen to any of the discussion. He wanted to hide away and pretend that it wasn’t happening, but it felt like he was being held captive inside his own body, being forced to endure the worst torture that Hell had to offer.

How dare he think that he got to move on after he failed his first son? How dare he think that he got to move on after he killed his wife and their other children? How dare he believe that he could love a third son?

This is what people like him deserved, but why did Evan have to suffer for his mistakes?

Bobby sat back and let everyone else make the decisions. He had only spoken up to tell everyone what the department would insist on and the budget they’d set for the things that the family got to choose. So long as the Buckleys stayed within budget, the funeral wouldn’t cost them a dime.

It had been decided by the team that Eddie would carry Buck’s helmet and he’d make a speech. That had been the easiest decision to come to. When it came to everything else, Maddie kept picking fights over the details whenever her parents tried to suggest something, and she always backed up one of the 118 when they made suggestions that her parents didn’t like.

Things had been tense before they’d started the conversation, but it was coming to a boiling point. It was everyone versus Margaret and Phillip Buckley and it was obvious. But the Buckleys weren’t backing down.

Bobby was getting to be completely done with the situation when there was a knock on the door. He immediately sat up and waved off the others who tried to stand and answer it. He needed a minute away from the group and he was going to take it.

“I’ve got it,” he said decisively.

He slowly made his way over to the door and he sighed before he pulled it open. Two police officers that he recognized were standing outside, looking serious. He immediately wondered if Athena was alright. Then he wondered about May and Harry. But they had come to Buck’s apartment, and Phillip and Margaret were staying here, so did that mean they’d found Evan? Or Evan’s body?

“Williams, Stafford,” Bobby said numbly. “What happened?”

“Captain Nash,” Williams greeted. “We’re here to inform you that Firefighter Evan Buckley was found alive, and he was airlifted to Cedar Sinai this morning. We are here to escort you to the hospital, along with anyone else who would like to come.”

Bobby’s head began to spin as a weight was very suddenly lifted off his shoulders. He felt his knees start to buckle and he leaned against the doorjamb to support himself. He brought a hand to his face, covering the tears that began to fall.

“Oh, God,” He groaned in relief.

“Cap?” Chimney called from behind him. “Are you okay?”

“Cap!” Hen sounded closer.

He felt hands land on his back. Hen and Eddie.

“What’s going on?” Eddie asked.

“Firefighter Evan Buckley was found alive,” Williams repeated.

Bobby felt the hands on his shoulders tighten.

“Is he okay?” Eddie asked in a strained voice.

Stafford answered. “He’s in critical condition, but he’s stable.”

“What?” Maddie’s voice piped up this time. “Did you say Evan’s alive?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Stafford confirmed again. “We’re here to take you to him.”

It had been confirmed three times, now, but Bobby still felt like he didn’t quite believe it. That he wouldn’t be able to until he saw his boy with his own eyes. He needed to see Evan, he needed to see that he was okay for himself.

“Oh, God!” Maddie sobbed.

Bobby must have looked a lot worse than he thought because Williams and Stafford were looking at him with wary expressions on their faces.

“Captain,” Williams asked in a gentle tone. “are you coming?”

“Yeah,” Bobby nodded, pushing himself off the doorjamb and pulling away from his team’s bracing hands. “Let’s go,”

***

They found Athena in the waiting room, looking pissed off. She wasn’t sitting in any of the empty chairs in the mostly vacant waiting room. Instead, she had her arms crossed tightly against her chest and she was pacing restlessly.

Michael, Harry, and May were sitting nearby, watching her carefully like they were afraid she was going to collapse soon.

“Athena!” Bobby rushed up to his wife. Seeing her calmed him slightly, but he didn’t like how worried she looked. “Athena, have you heard anything?”

He placed a hand on her bicep, stopping her in her tracks. She swayed slightly into his space and her tearful eyes met his. He knew, without her even saying anything, that she was relieved and terrified at the same time. Evan was alive, but what state was he in?

The rest of the group gathered behind him, waiting to hear what Athena had to say.

“He’s in the ICU,” she told them. “He’s stable, but he hasn’t woken up since paramedics found him washed up on Catalina Island two days ago. He coded on the way to Catalina Island Health, his heart stopped a few times, but he’s been in a medically induced coma for the last two days. That’s all they’ll tell me. They won’t let anyone but family in to see him.” She made a face, looking at Phillip and Margaret like they were the most pathetic things she’d ever seen. “That’s you, I suppose.”

Maddie squeezed Chimney’s hand and rushed off to find a nurse to lead her back to see Evan, not waiting for her parents to catch up to her. Bobby wrapped an arm around Athena and just tried to breathe.

It was a bit better, knowing – if nothing else – where Buck was. It was still awful, however, not knowing much else. Not being able to see him.

He hugged his wife tighter and breathed her in, trying to calm himself down. He glanced over at the kids and saw May watching him with a knowing look on her face. He wasn’t sure what she thought she knew, but he was too emotionally exhausted to try and figure it out right then.

“I don’t think I’m going to be okay until I see him,” Bobby murmured into the top of his wife’s head.

“Me either, baby,” Athena said quietly, patting his chest. “Me either,”

Maddie came out about half an hour later. Her eyes were red-rimmed, and she had swept her hair into a messy bun. She didn’t look overly devastated though, she actually looked incredibly relieved.

“Is he okay?” Eddie asked, leaning in as she took the seat beside him.

She looked at him and her expression softened. She reached out and curled her fingers around his tightly clasped hands.

“The doctors say they think he will make a full recovery,” Maddie said, sounding exhausted. “But it’s going to take him a few months to fully recover. He’s being treated for a concussion; he has sixteen stitches on his left temple. He had surgery to put pins in his left leg. He had a gash in his right calf, he needed thirty-six stitches for that. He has second-degree sunburns on his face and arms. He was dehydrated so they’ve been giving him IV fluids, and he was also malnourished, so they put him on a feeding tube. He had hypothermia when he was brought into the other hospital, so they treated that. He is also covered in saltwater sores, and they’re working on treating that.” She sniffled. “He’s, uh, he’s lost some weight. He looks so small.”

Chimney reached over to rub her back comfortingly. She took a shuddering breath and leaned back into the familiar touch.

“When are they moving him out of the ICU?” Hen asked.

“They’re working on it, now,” Maddie answered. “You’ll be able to see him soon.”

“Thank you,” Athena said kindly. “for coming to update us.”

Maddie looked around at all of them. “It isn’t fair that you don’t get to see him,” she said as she stood up. “you’re more his family than my parents are.”

Maddie went back to be with Evan and as soon as she was out of sight Eddie dropped his face into his hands and began to sob. Chimney took Maddie’s vacated seat and pulled the younger man into his arms, holding him in a firm, comforting embrace.

“I’ve got you, buddy,” Chimney said quietly. “He’s going to be okay.”

Bobby turned his eyes away from the blatant emotional display, feeling like he was intruding upon something personal. He looked over at Hen who was seated against the wall, head tilted back, staring at the ceiling with silent tears running down her face.

Extricating himself from Athena’s arms, Bobby moved to sit beside the paramedic. He took her hand in a loose grip, giving her the opportunity to pull away if she wasn’t up for the physical contact, but she tightened the hold and took a deep breath.

“He’s a little punk,” Hen said with a little laugh, tears coming faster. “But he’s our little punk, you know? And I don’t know what I would do if he died.”

“Neither do I,” Bobby said quietly. “I told you, years ago after Buck first joined, before I told you about Marcy, Brook, and Robert, that I moved forward by never letting anybody get so important to me that I had to go through that kind of loss again, but you, Buck, and Chimney had become that important to me. Even after everything we’ve gone through together, I don’t regret letting you guys in. Not for a second.”

Hen finally turned her head to look at him. “Yeah, me either. We’re family. We’re stuck with each other.”

“Damn straight,” Chimney piped up.

Bobby looked over to see that Eddie was sitting up again and he looked more composed now. Bobby made eye contact with the younger man and Eddie nodded in agreement.

“Family,” he said quietly.

Chapter 5: Chapter Five

Chapter Text

It was another hour and a half before a nurse came to collect them. She was warm but impersonal and she waited patiently as everyone stood up and got themselves together before they followed her back to Buck’s room.

Bobby was the first one to enter the room. Phillip and Margaret were talking quietly to one another at the foot of Evan’s bed. Maddie was standing near the window, her eyes fixated on Buck’s still form, but generously leaving the space around him open for the newcomers.

Bobby’s eyes were then drawn to the boy in the bed. He was hooked up to a bunch of machines but, thankfully, not a ventilator. He was breathing on his own. Maddie had been right, he looked so small.

Small wasn’t a word that normally described Buck, but he’d clearly lost weight, he was pale and his lips were still tinged blue, and he was hooked up to so many machines and tubes that he looked smaller than he had when Bobby had last seen him.

Bobby put a hand over his mouth and moved to sit in the open chair on Buck’s left side. His eyes caught on the bandage that took up his entire left temple. Bobby reached out and took his hand.

“Hey, Kid,” Bobby said. “You scared the hell out of us, you gotta stop doing that,”

Buck, of course, didn’t respond. Bobby had visited the boy in the hospital before. When his ex-girlfriend Abby had done a tracheotomy on him, when he’d been crushed by the firetruck, after the embolism, after he’d been cut by the windshield. This was different, somehow, though.

Maybe, because this time he knew what it was to really, truly lose Evan Buckley. Maybe because he looked so dead lying in the bed. Buck was normally so full of life. He was happy and energetic and so alive. Now, he was thin and pale and comatose. Bobby didn’t know what to do with that.

Eddie, Hen, and Chimney gathered on the right side of the bed. Eddie took Buck’s other hand and gripped it tightly with tears in his eyes.

Hen brushed her fingers through Buck’s hair and Chimney placed a hand on his knee, squeezing. They all just stared at their friend and colleague for a moment, varying shades of heartbreak displayed on their faces. Bobby dropped his eyes to Evan’s hand, rubbing the back of it with his thumb as Athena, Michael, Harry, and May came to stand around him, Athena and May placing their hands on his shoulders.

“We’ve got you, pal,” Chimney said. “Now you just gotta wake up.”

Bobby nodded in agreement, even though Buck couldn’t see it.

Athena reached out and gently ran her fingertips down Buck’s cheek.

“Welcome back, baby,” She whispered. “We missed you.”

They sat with Buck for quite a while. Eventually, everyone trickled out of the room aside from Bobby, Athena, Margaret, Phillip, Maddie, and Eddie. The room was relatively silent, everyone just focusing on Buck, watching with bated breath, hoping that he would continue improving so that the doctors would reverse the sedation and wake him up.

Margaret and Phillip, however, were getting on everyone’s nerves.

“I just don’t understand how he could do this to us,” Margaret said to Phillip under her breath. Everyone could still hear her, though.

This wasn’t the first time she’d made a comment like this and it was showing on everyone’s faces just how much her words were starting to wear on them. Eddie clutched Buck’s hand tighter and closed his eyes in irritation. Maddie was sitting on the bench in the window, rolling her eyes.

“He didn’t do this,” Bobby said as calmly as he could, but he was starting to get to the end of his rope. “The line broke, that wasn’t his fault.”

“He should take better care of his equipment, then,” Margaret said. “Or stop taking so many risks. He should know better than that. To make us come all the way out here and worry about him. Do you know how much those plane tickets cost? And the rental car?”

Bobby closed his eyes and took a deep breath, counting to ten. He couldn’t believe the mindset these people were in. He would give anything, and pay any amount of money to see his children again. He would pay for plane tickets and rental cars if it meant that Buck would open his eyes and be alright again. How was that what they were worrying about when their child was lying in a hospital bed looking so small and frail?

“That’s what you’re worried about?” Athena demanded, getting to her feet and crossing her arms. “The money it cost you to come out here because your son was missing?”

“Listen, this is none of your business,” Phillip put a hand up and gave Athena an annoyed look.

“Mom’s the one who brought it up,” Maddie said with an edge to her voice.

“I don’t even understand why you’re here,” Phillip said to Bobby and Athena. “You’re his boss, not his father,”

“And you’re just barely his father,” Bobby spat. “Sitting there worrying about a plane ticket and a rental car. You called the search off days ago, maybe if you hadn’t done that we would have found him sooner.”

“That may very well be,” Margaret said haughtily. “but we made a decision to put our family first.”

“Buck is your family!” Eddie snapped. “He’s your son! I would never stop looking for my son if he went missing. Buck wouldn’t either,”

He looked back down at the man in the hospital bed and rested his forehead against their entwined hands. Bobby remembered the night that they found Buck at the field hospital after the tsunami. How Buck and Christopher had gotten separated, and Buck had never stopped looking for the boy.

They hadn’t done the same for Buck and shame filled Bobby. They could have done more. They should have done more.

“Do you even care?” Bobby asked, looking at the couple. “Does this even affect you?” he gestured to Evan, lying in the bed. “That’s your son and I feel like I’m acting more like his parent than either of you.”

“You want to be his father?” Phillip demanded. “Go ahead! You two be his parents, because all he does is cause problems! He gets hurt, he gets sick, he goes missing, and he can’t do the one thing we ask him!”

“Save Daniel,” Maddie said bitterly. “It always comes back to that. We always go back to Daniel.”

Daniel. Bobby remembered when Buck found out about Daniel. He’d come to the firehouse, upset, talking about how his parents had never wanted him, how he’d undergone a procedure when he was six to donate bone marrow to his brother, but it hadn’t worked. Daniel had died. He’d said that he didn’t matter to his parents. It had broken Bobby’s heart and he remembered wanting to wrap the kid in a hug and tell him that even if Buck’s parents didn’t love him, Bobby did.

“Can you blame us?” Margaret asked her daughter.

Maddie looked up at her mother, nothing but contempt in her eyes. “Yes,” she said seriously.

The Buckleys left the hospital without another word. Good riddance.

The rest of them sat in silence for a while before Maddie looked at Bobby and Athena.

“After Daniel died, they were so different. They were great parents before, and then it was like they couldn’t bear to be around Evan for too long. The only time they paid him any attention was when he was hurt. He did horribly reckless things to get their attention, even if it wasn’t the good kind of attention. They were… they don’t care about him. They care about their image. They show up, they put on a good face, and then they leave and don’t talk to him for years. It makes me wonder, sometimes, why they even bothered adopting him in the first place. Why adopt a kid just to ignore him all his life?”

Eddie, Athena, and Bobby exchanged a confused look. “Buck’s adopted?’ Eddie asked.

Maddie nodded. “They adopted him when he was six,” she said. “He doesn’t know.”

“You never told him?” Athena asked.

“They asked me not to,” Maddie said quietly. “Just like the Daniel thing. It seems like they’ve got a bunch of secrets where Evan’s concerned.” She looked right into Bobby’s eyes. “You are more his parents than they ever were. He loves you; he cares what you two think about him. He wants to make you proud. He strives for your approval.”

Bobby squeezed Evan’s hand again and stared down at the boy’s face. “I love him, too. So much.”

Athena ran her hand over Buck’s hair. “As far as I’m concerned, he’s ours. They can go to hell.”

Maddie stood up, looking satisfied. “Good, he deserves to have parents that love him.”

Bobby looked at her. “So do you,”

“I do,” Maddie said sadly. “They aren’t like that with me, I’m not the one they blame for Daniel.”

She looked over at Buck and so did Bobby. Maddie kissed her brother on the forehead, bid them goodnight, and left the room.

***

In the next two days, Bobby and Athena did a lot of research on adult adoption.

Normally, it would be easy to legally make Buck their son. They would have to get Buck’s original adoption overturned, but other than that, they really only needed his consent and to fill out an abundance of paperwork. The more they looked into it and talked with one another about it, they felt like it was the right thing to do.

Before they did any of that, though, they wanted to discuss it with Harry and May.

They had talked a lot about how they wanted to approach it with the kids, and they eventually decided that they would just sit them down after dinner and they would explain the situation and ask how Harry and May felt about it.

So, on the second day of Buck’s stay at Cedar Sinai, Bobby and Athena made it home in time for dinner and then asked Harry and May to come sit with them in the living room so that they could talk.

“Is Buck okay?” May asked quietly as they moved to the living room.

“He’s still in his coma, baby,” Athena answered as they sat down. “But we did want to talk to you about him.”

May and Harry both looked nervous like they were expecting bad news.

“We just want to run an idea by you, guys,” Bobby said soothingly. “We don’t have any bad news right now; Buck is still in his coma, and he seems to be getting better. The doctors expect him to make a full recovery,”

The kids relaxed slightly and nodded.

“Listen, guys,” Athena said. “Bobby and I have come to realize that Buck’s parents don’t want him.” May and Harry both looked appropriately concerned. “So, what would the two of you think about Bobby and I adopting Buck?”

“Can you do that?” Harry asked. “He’s not a kid.”

“It’s called adult adoption,” Bobby explained. “So, legally, Buck would be our son and your brother.”

“Now, we still have to ask Buck about this after he wakes up,” Athena said. “But we wanted to know what you two thought about it before we asked him. If you two aren’t okay with it, then we won’t ask him.”

“I’m okay with it,” May said. “It would be nice to officially have a big brother.”

She gave Bobby a pointed look.

“What do you mean?” Bobby asked.

“Oh, come on,” May said, exasperated. “Mom brought two kids into the marriage. You brought one.”

Bobby laughed lightly. “Yeah, I suppose so,”

Athena patted him on the knee and smiled at him.

“I’m okay with it, too. I like Buck,” Harry said. “He helps with my homework and he’s good at video games.”

Bobby and Athena chuckled. “I’m glad to hear that,” Athena said. “We were also thinking that while Buck recovers, he might come to stay with us for a while.”

The kids readily agreed, spit-balling ideas about what they could do with Buck while he was recovering. Video games, movie marathons, puzzles, and the like. Bobby and Athena sat back and listened with content smiles on their faces. They hadn’t expected the conversation to go badly per se, but they also hadn’t expected it to go as perfectly as it had.

Maybe Buck had been a part of their family all along like May had said. Maybe this was just the logical next step. Hopefully, it was a step that Buck was willing to take, too.

***

It took another three days for Buck to wake up.

Bobby and Eddie were sitting with him, each holding a hand and talking about Christopher. Eddie had told him that Buck was alive and in the hospital, but that he was sleeping. Chris kept making Buck pictures and cards, so Eddie brought them to the hospital for him and put them up on the walls around the room and on his bedside tables.

Apparently, the boy wasn’t happy that he couldn’t come and visit yet, but Eddie wanted to hold him off until Buck was awake so that his appearance wasn’t so jarring. The blue tint to his lips had gone away, but he was still pale despite the sunburns on his face and arms, and he looked thinner than normal.

Karen had brought flowers and Denny had also made Buck a card. Chimney had bought Buck a large, stuffed firetruck and used it, much to the nurse’s chagrin, to prop the boy’s broken leg up.

Harry and May had been hard at work at home, decorating Buck’s new bedroom with Michael’s help, even though Athena and Bobby had both told them that Buck hadn’t yet agreed to stay with them nor had he agreed to be adopted by them.

He hadn’t woken up yet. The doctors hadn’t seemed too concerned; they’d only taken him off sedation the day before. It could be hours, it could be days, it could be never. Bobby was having a hard time waiting, and he knew that Eddie was beginning to lose patience too.

Bobby was leaning back in his chair, holding Buck’s hand loosely, and talking comfortably with Eddie when he felt fingers twitch against his hand. Bobby immediately sat forward and leaned in close to look at Buck’s face.

He reached out and lightly put two fingers against the boy’s chin. There was slight movement at the corner of his mouth and his eyelids twitched like he was trying to open his eyes.

“Bobby?” Eddie asked. “What happened?”

“His hand moved,” Bobby answered. “He’s waking up, I think.”

Hope swelled in Bobby’s chest as Buck’s eyelids fluttered. He watched with bated breath as Buck tried to peel his eyelid open. He tightened his hold on Evan’s hand and rubbed his thumb across the boy’s knuckles.

“Buck?” Bobby called lightly. “Buck, it’s Bobby, can you hear me?”

Buck made a little whining sound as his eyes finally opened. He blinked sluggishly a few times before his eyes were finally adjusted enough to stay open. It took him a moment before he found Bobby and another minute before he really focused on him. Even though he was staring at Bobby’s face and seemed to comprehend what he was seeing, his eyes were a little glassy and he looked out of it.

“Bobby,” he said, his voice sounded awful. It was hoarse and it sounded like his throat was bone dry. It was the best thing Bobby had heard in nearly three weeks.

Eddie stood up and hurried to fill a cup of water and put a straw in it. He held the straw to Buck’s lips and Bobby watched as Buck registered who was helping him.

“Eddie,” He rasped.

“Hey, Buck,” Eddie said gently. He nudged the straw against Buck’s lips. “Take a drink, it will make your throat feel better.”

Buck did as his best friend asked. He looked back at Bobby and his eyes started to flutter closed. Bobby didn’t care that they’d barely had a minute to enjoy that Buck was conscious. It was enough to see his eyes open again and to hear his voice, no matter how awful it sounded. He felt more relaxed now that he had seen for himself that Buck was okay.

Bobby reached forward and stroked his hair carefully. Lovingly.

“You’re safe, now, Buck. We’re here, we have you, we love you, and that’s all that matters.” Bobby said quietly. “You can rest now, we won’t leave you.”

Buck managed a slight smile and his eyes fully closed. Bobby let his hand fall from Buck’s hair to his shoulder. He looked over at Eddie who had set the cup aside and was watching Buck’s face with wide, hopeful eyes.

“He’s okay,” Bobby said with certainty.

Eddie looked at him and smiled widely. “Yeah, he really is,”

Buck woke up again a few hours later with a jolt. His chest was heaving, the heart rate monitor was beeping quickly and he had hands on his shoulders and in his hair, trying to calm him.

“Hey, you’re okay,” Bobby’s calm voice made his heart rate slow.

Buck looked up at his captain and his best friend standing on either side of his bed, looking at him with concern.

He’d been having a nightmare. He’d been remembering what it was like to be thrown around by the waves, to be alone for so long, to not have any protection from the natural elements. Then the memories started to blur; the tsunami and his most recent ocean-related trauma joined forces to torment him while he slept.

“Yeah,” Buck rasped. “I’m okay,”

He settled back against the pillows.

“How are you feeling?” Eddie asked.

Buck sighed and hummed slightly. “Like I almost died,”

Eddie nodded. “Well, that’s accurate.” He glanced over at Bobby who let a sad smile curve his lips.

Buck let his eyes wander away from Eddie’s face and he looked around the room. A slight smile lifted the corner of his lips as he noticed the pictures scattered around the room.

“The kids have been worried about you,” Bobby said. “Christopher, Denny, and Harry made all of those for you,”

Buck smiled and looked at the pictures fondly. “That’s nice,” he said. “How long have I been here?”

“You were missing for eleven days,” Bobby answered. “You were found on Catalina Island and stayed in their hospital for two days. Then you were transferred here, to Cedar Sinai, and we were told you’d been found on the thirteenth day. You’ve been here for five days, now. So, it’s been eighteen days since the accident.”

Buck’s smile got a little wider. “That’s some good math you did, Cap,”

Bobby and Eddie chuckled.

“Thanks, kid,” Bobby gently ruffled his hair.

Buck smiled, eyes shining, up at Bobby as the man patted him on the cheek. He turned to Eddie.

“Has Christopher been here?” He asked.

“No,” Eddie shook his head. “We didn’t want to let the kids come see you until you’d woken up. I’ll bring him tomorrow.”

“Maddie and Chimney were here earlier,” Bobby informed him. “Karen, Hen, and Athena have been in to see you, too,”

“Tell everyone thanks,” Buck said. He looked between the two men. “Thank you for being here.”

Eddie gripped Buck’s hand tightly and waited until he looked him in the eye. “There’s nowhere I’d rather be.”

Bobby agreed. “We’re here for you, kid,” he said. “Always.”

Chapter 6: Chapter Six

Chapter Text

The next day, Buck was able to stay awake longer. Someone from Psych had come to speak with him for a long while and they’d cleared him but recommended that he find a therapist to see regularly. Buck had told Eddie all about the visit when he and Christopher had arrived not long after the Psychiatrist had left. He’d rolled his eyes as he told him about the recommendation and had seen amused exasperation color Eddie’s face as he told him that he should probably do as the doctor had suggested.

It didn’t take long for Hen, Maddie, Chimney, Bobby, and Athena to show up. They all greeted Buck with hugs and kisses and kind words about how much they had missed him and how grateful they were that he was okay. They stayed until mid-afternoon, gathered around Buck’s bed, Christopher lying beside him, tucked into his side. Buck couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so happy.

He felt so light and relieved. He was home, safe, and he could feel how loved he was. He was surrounded by the people he loved and who loved him. It was all he had wanted while he was drifting, lost at sea, in that lonely little raft. He’d dreamed of this moment, wondering if it was ever actually going to come to pass.

A couple of hours into the visit, Christopher asked Buck what it was like being lost at sea. The room got very quiet, tension seeped into the air. Buck swallowed and tightened his grip on the kid who was looking up at him expectantly, not realizing that he’d just asked a difficult question. Buck weighed his options in his mind and decided that he didn’t want to brush the kid off. He’d once promised Christopher that he could ask him anything, and Buck would always do his best to answer him honestly. He could and he would answer the question, even if it was about one of the most traumatic experiences of his life.

Eddie leaned forward, still loosely grasping Buck’s hand, ready to awkwardly change the subject.

“Lonely,” Buck answered quietly before Eddie could say anything. “It was hot during the day and really cold at night. When you’re alone for that long, you get to think a lot, because there’s no one to talk to. I thought about all of you and how much I love you.”

Christopher seemed to be satisfied with Buck’s answer. He laid his head back down on Buck’s chest and he hugged him. “We love you, too, Buck.”

Buck used the hand resting on the kids back to cradle Christopher’s head and leaned down to press a kiss to his hair. Christopher had a big grin on his face when Buck let him go, and Eddie was smiling just as widely. His eyes were shining as he looked up at Buck.

Buck squeezed his hand and looked over at Bobby and Athena who were on his other side. They’d been very affectionate since he’d woken up. Bobby had, more often than not, been holding his hand, running his fingers through Buck’s hair, and saying kind things. Athena had patted and kissed his cheek, stroked his hair, and sat on the bed beside him, holding him gently for a while when it had been just him, Bobby, and Athena in the room.

They’d acted like what he imagined good parents were supposed to act like. He’d felt like a priority in the last day and a half. They’d made it a point to sit with him and not keep looking at the clock, instead talking with him and loving on him like there was nothing going on outside of the four walls of his hospital room.

Buck had never experienced a love like that before. It made him feel like he could cry with happiness, and, at the same time, it made him see red with rage coursing through his veins. He wanted to scream at his parents: Look at how easy it is for them to be here for me! Why couldn’t you be like this? Why is it so hard for you to love me?

Eddie, Christopher, and Hen left while promising to come back the next day. Hen pressed a kiss to his forehead before she left, and Buck couldn’t help but smile when Christopher copied her and then insisted that Eddie did as well. Eddie stooped down and pressed his lips to Buck’s forehead before pulling back and smiling softly at the man.

“See you, tomorrow, buddy.” He said and Buck laughed.

“Bye,” Buck said with a sarcastic wave.

The three visitors filed out of the room and shut the door behind them, leaving Buck with Chimney, Maddie, Bobby, and Athena.

Athena reached forward and lightly gripped Buck’s forearm, getting his attention.

“The doctor says you’ll be discharged in a few days,” Athena informed him. “so, we wanted to take the opportunity to talk about where you’d like to recover. And Bobby and I were hoping that you would consider coming and staying with us,”

Yes, Buck wanted to say. “I don’t want to burden you,” Buck said instead. “You both have demanding jobs, and it sounds like I’m not going to be able to do much on my own with this leg.”

Bobby shook his head. “You’re not a burden, Buck,” he said firmly. “You let us worry about the logistics. The point is that Athena and I want you to stay with us. So, if that’s something you’re comfortable with, then that is what we will do.”

“May and Harry are already putting a room together for you,” Athena added, a smile on her face. “They’re very excited about the idea of their big brother coming to stay with us.”

“Big brother?” Buck’s eyes slid from Athena to Bobby.

It was one thing for Athena, who had two happy, living children to say something like that offhandedly, Bobby, however, was a different story. His eldest son, coincidentally also named Evan, had been kidnapped when he was five years old. Six years later, his second son, Robert, was born and two years after that, his daughter Brook had been born. Robert and Brook, along with Bobby’s wife, Marcy, died seven years ago in a fire.

But Bobby looked like he wholeheartedly agreed with his wife’s assessment of Buck’s relationship with his stepchildren.

“We’d like to adopt you, Buck,” Athena grabbed his hand. “if that’s alright with you,”

“Adopt me?” Buck asked. “I’m twenty-nine, can you even do that?”

“It’s called adult adoption,” Bobby said, reminiscent of how he’d explained it to Harry and May. “We need to fill out some paperwork, sign a few things, and get your consent and your signature on a few things, and you would legally become our son.”

Buck was intrigued. That sounded great and it was definitely what he wanted. He loved Bobby and Athena, and he considered them to be more like his parents than Phillip and Margaret.

“Although,” Athena looked at Maddie. “there is another step we will need to take that will make the situation a little more complicated.”

“What is it?” Buck looked from Bobby and Athena to Maddie.

Maddie hesitated and glanced up at Chimney.

“Maddie?” Buck prompted.

“You were adopted when you were six,” Maddie told him. “So, in order to adopt you again, the Court would need to overturn your initial adoption.”

Buck, at first, felt like he was falling again. Then he got angry. Another secret. Another reason that he’d felt unwanted, unloved, and out of place his entire childhood.

“Is there anything else about me that I need to know?” Buck demanded. “Last time it was the bone marrow donation and the dead big brother I didn’t know about, now it’s that I’m adopted. What else are you hiding from me?”

Chimney looked like he wanted to defend Maddie, but he knew that neither of them had a leg to stand on. He couldn’t defend her because Buck was right to be angry.

“I promise you; this is it,” Maddie said, tearfully. “You were adopted when you were six. I was fifteen and Daniel was fourteen. I remember that the adoption was really sudden. I don’t ever remember Mom or Dad saying that they were going to adopt you, but then they took us with them to go pick you up from Michigan or Minnesota, or wherever it was. I can’t remember. They didn’t even tell us about you until you were already there, and they were introducing you.”

“But what about…” He wanted to know what she thought he should do. If she thought he should let Bobby and Athena overturn the adoption that made him a Buckley and become their son.

Maddie got that look on her face. That same look she always got when she was about to say something she knew would hurt him. She came to sit by his hip on the bed and she took the hand that Athena had been holding in both of hers.

“Evan,” she said quietly. “Mom and Dad petitioned the court the day they got here, only two days after you’d gone missing, to stop looking for you and pronounce you dead if they still hadn’t found you after you’d been missing a week.”

“What?” Buck asked. He’d known for a long time that his parents didn’t love him the way that they loved Maddie, and Daniel of course, but he didn’t think they’d wanted him dead.

“It seems like they only came for appearances, I’m so sorry, Evan,” Maddie said, tearfully. “They were angry with you. They weren’t worried.”

“Maddie, maybe you shouldn’t,” Chimney tried to step in, but Buck shook his head at him.

“I want to hear this,” Buck told him. “She’s just being honest with me, if I’m going to make the decision to get new parents, then I want all the information.”

Chimney looked sympathetic, but he nodded and backed up.

Buck looked back at his sister. “They hate me,”

“I don’t know if I’d say hate, but they blame you for Daniel,” Maddie told him. “It’s not fair, it’s not right. It’s not your fault that Daniel died, you need to know that.”

Buck nodded.

“Buck, I have never seen anyone have more parental love for you than Bobby and Athena.” Maddie squeezed his hands. “If this is what you want, and not just what you think everyone else wants, I think that this is a wonderful idea. You deserve to have parents that love you.”

“You wouldn’t be mad?” Buck asks so quietly that he thinks Maddie almost missed it.

She reached forward and cupped his face. “Absolutely not,” she swore. “I love you no matter what. And you will always be my brother.”

“Our brother,” Chimney came over and gently placed his hand on Buck’s head for a split second. “I love you, too, kid. I’m so glad you’re okay,”

“Love you, too, brother.” Buck let go of Maddie’s hand to clasp Chimney’s for a brief second.

“We’re going to leave you guys alone,” Maddie said and pressed a kiss to Buck’s forehead. “Love you,”

“Love you, too,” Buck said. “Tell Jee that Uncle Buck loves her.”

“We will,” Chimney said. “Get better, Uncle Buck.”

They left and Buck looked back at Athena and then over at Bobby.

“Are you sure you guys want this?” He asked. “I’m like nine kinds of screwed up, you know that.”

“And we love you anyway,” Athena said and patted him on the cheek. “We still want you to be our son officially.”

Buck looked into her eyes and saw the love in them. Unrestrained, obvious, blatant love. He turned to Bobby and looked into his eyes and saw the same thing. Buck didn’t fight the tears that came to his eyes.

“I’m – I’m not used to having people love me,” he said quietly. “I mean, people like me, yeah, and Maddie; she loves me. But my adoptive parents resented me, apparently, I have biological parents who didn’t want me. They didn’t love me, but I look at you guys, and I can tell you do, and I just -I can’t,”

He started to bawl, and Bobby didn’t hesitate to gently ease his way into Buck’s bed beside him. He wrapped his arms around the boy and pulled him into his chest.

“I’ve got you,” Bobby whispered as Buck pressed his face into the side of his neck. “We love you, Evan. We love you, and we want you. You are loved and wanted.”

“I don’t know how to be a son,” Buck cried. “They were only around if I was sick or hurt and even then they were so distant.”

“All we need is for you to be you,” Athena told him. “We love you, whoever you are.”

Buck cries against Bobby’s neck for a few more minutes, letting the captain run his hand up and down his back soothingly. He could feel Athena’s hand resting on his side, showing her silent support. He managed to calm himself down and Bobby sat back in his chair and took Evan’s hand in his own, again.

“Okay,” Buck nodded. “I’m in,”

“You’re okay with us adopting you?” Athena clarified.

“Yeah, on one condition,” Buck negotiated.

“What is it?” Bobby asked.

“I don’t want to be a Buckley anymore,” Buck said. “I want to change my last name.”

“Evan James Nash,” Athena mused. “I like the sound of that.”

“So do I,” Bobby smiled at Buck.

“Yeah,” Buck whispered. “Me too,”

Chapter 7: Chapter Seven

Chapter Text

The next day, Eddie, Carla, and Christopher came to visit.

“Buck!” Christopher comes up to him. “I read another article,”

Buck couldn’t help the smile that immediately lit up his face. He always smiled when he saw Christopher, that kid meant the world to him.

“You did?” Buck asked, turning briefly to watch Eddie take his usual seat.

“I did,” Christopher said proudly.

“And what did you learn?” Buck asked.

“The Milky Way has grown by merging with other galaxies and it moves 552 kilometers per second,” Christopher told him.

“That’s true and very interesting,” Buck grinned. “Did you read that in the middle of the Milky Way, there’s a huge black hole?”

“Yeah!” Christopher cheered.

Buck chuckled and was ready to spout a few more facts when Carla interrupted.

“Okay, okay,” Carla laughed. “Christopher, why don’t we go to the gift shop and pick something out for Buck while he and your daddy talk?”

Buck tried not to react. He wondered what Eddie wanted to talk to him about but figured it couldn’t be too bad if he’d brought Christopher and Carla along with him and was using a distraction that wouldn’t give them a lot of time alone.

“Okay,” Christopher said reluctantly.

“See you in a few minutes, buddy,” Buck smiled at him and Carla.

“See ya,” Christopher followed her out of the room.

Buck turned to Eddie. “Everything okay?”

Eddie nodded. “Carla’s worried about me, I took you ‘dying’ pretty hard.”

Buck frowned. “I know the feeling,” he said. “I was a mess after the sniper.”

“You’re my best friend, man,” Eddie said. “Can’t have you dying on me. Who else would make sure I don’t burn my kitchen down trying to make an omelet?”

“How does that even happen?” Buck asked, exasperated. “It’s not that hard!”

Eddie laughed. “What can I say?” he shrugged. “I’m talented.”

“Yeah,” Buck snorted. “First prize for the worst cook on the face of the planet.”

“Hey, not everyone gets Cap’s private cooking lessons,” Eddie pointed out with a smirk.

“Not everyone asks.” Buck retorted. “That’s all I had to do and he was more than happy to teach me,”

Eddie rolled his eyes. “Have the doctors said anything about when you’re getting out of here?”

“A few more days,” Buck answered. “and then I’m going home with Bobby and Athena,”

“Really?” Eddie raised a brow. “and here I was going to offer you my guest room.”

“They beat you to the punch,” Buck said apologetically. “Sorry,”

Eddie smiled. “Not like you can cook for us on that leg anyway,”

“That’s all you keep me around for,” Buck scoffed making Eddie laugh again. “So, in other news, Bobby and Athena asked to adopt me. Did they tell you?”

“They didn’t,” Eddie raised his eyebrows. “I’m not surprised though. I actually thought you were Bobby’s biological son for a while after I started. You guys kinda look alike and the way he acted towards you…” Eddie shrugged.

Buck laughed. He’d heard a lot of comments about him and Bobby. He’d been told more than once that he looked like his ‘father.’ He kind of saw it. The hair, the area around their eyes and noses. They did look pretty similar. Buck, in those moments, often wished it was true. He’d love it if Bobby really were his dad, but he’d have to settle for the adoption.

“How’d you find out we weren’t related?” Buck asked, curious about why Eddie had never told him about the confusion.

“I asked Hen,” Eddie admitted. “She had a good laugh about that.”

Buck snorted. “I’m not surprised,” he said. “Although she went easier on you than Chimney would have,”

“Hence why I asked her,” Eddie smirked. “Have they been here today?”

“You’re the first visitor today,” Buck shook his head. “Bobby and Athena stayed until hours were over last night. Maddie and Chimney left about an hour or two before them.”

“They had said there was something they wanted to talk to you about,” Eddie told him. “Was it the adoption?”

“That and I also found out that I was adopted when I was six,” Buck confided. “Maddie just told me yesterday,”

Eddie looked shocked. “Really?” he asked. “they never told you?”

Buck shook his head. “I feel like my whole life is made up of secrets.” He said quietly. “I’m so tired of it,”

“I don’t blame you,” Eddie said sympathetically. “I’d be pissed if it were me,”

“It makes it more complicated, to adopt me since I was already adopted,” Buck explained. “They have to get the first one overturned.”

“But they can do it?” Eddie asked.

“They seemed confident.” Buck shrugged. “You know how Athena is.”

“There’s nothing she can’t do,” Eddie smiled.

“Yeah, you’re right about that,” Buck murmured and then sighed. “I’m just ready to get this all over with and get back to normal.”

“It will,” Eddie promised. “Soon we’ll be able to forget any of this ever happened.”

He didn’t look convinced, though. Buck wasn’t either.

***

Buck spent another three days in the hospital before he was discharged. Bobby had gone to pick him up from the hospital, but Athena had elected to stay home with Harry and May to finish the room up and make sure that everything was perfect.

Everyone was so thrilled that Buck was finally coming home. At first, Hen and Chimney had begun planning a gathering. They wanted everyone to be at the house when Buck came home to surprise him. Athena had managed to talk them down. She said it was best to give Buck some time to rest before they jumped on him.

Bobby had been in agreement. He thought it would be too overwhelming for Buck if he came home to a full house. So much had already happened to him, between being lost at sea, being in a coma, and finding out he was adopted, and then agreeing to be adopted again.

He was worried about the kid. He’d been through so much trauma in so little time and Bobby knew better than most the kind of toll that took on a person, much less a normally happy-go-lucky type like Buck.

When he pulled up to the curb he found Buck waiting in a wheelchair, with two nurses standing just to the side of him. He had two bags on his lap, his arms wrapped loosely around them to keep them from falling off. One of the nurses had a pair of crutches in her hands and the other was holding a stack of papers.

They both appeared to be listening to Buck attentively as he was talking to the pair animatedly, his eyes alight with excitement, the way they got when he was on one of his rants about something new he had learned.

Bobby left his truck running and hopped out, rounding the vehicle to open the passenger side door for Buck.

“Hey, kiddo,” He greeted, grabbing the two bags from Buck’s lap and tossing them into the backseat. “Ready to go home?”

Buck let a small smile curve his lips. “You betcha, pops,”

Bobby grinned at the use of the nickname that he used to just brush off. After all, once they got everything squared away, he really would be Buck’s father. He tried not to read too much into the use of the name, tried not to appear to be too excited by it. He wasn’t sure how much of Buck’s agreement to be adopted was based on a need to feel loved and wanted or if it really was out of love for Bobby and Athena, and a genuine connection to them.

He reached out and took the crutches from one of the nurses and slid those into the backseat as well, closing the door before he turned to Buck and prepared to help him into the truck. This was going to suck, there was no way around that.

“Alright, buddy,” He slid his arm around Buck’s back and pulled him up, helping him to stand on one leg, and guided his arm around Bobby’s shoulders. The nurses pulled the wheelchair far enough away that Bobby could pivot the two of them and help Buck slide into the passenger seat of his truck. “There we go, you got the seatbelt?”

“Yeah,” Buck nodded and buckled himself in, his chest heaving from the effort it had taken to get into the truck. Bobby closed the door for him and turned back to the nurses to find that one of them had left, taking the wheelchair with her. The other one still stood there expectantly, holding the stack of papers.

“Here you go, sir,” she handed him the papers and indicated the top sheet. “His prescriptions should be ready in a few hours. The pharmacy is listed on the paper. Mr. Buckley said that one is close to your house.”

Bobby glanced at it and saw it was the usual pharmacy. He would have enough time to get Buck home and situated before he needed to run back out to get his medicine.

“Got it,” Bobby smiled, gratefully. “Thank you,”

The woman smiled, nodded, and spun on her heel to head back into the hospital. Bobby folded the papers up and hopped back into the driver’s seat, ready to get his kid home.

The drive back to the house was comfortable. Bobby and Buck chatted like normal. Buck asked about the firehouse and Bobby had to tell him that he, Hen, and Chimney had been on leave. They wouldn’t be going back to work until next week, although Bobby had been working on canceling everything for Buck’s funeral.

Buck got a little quiet after hearing that tidbit. Bobby felt like an idiot for bringing it up. No one wanted to hear about how their family had given up on them, decided they were dead, and started planning their funeral. Especially not Buck, who had some of the worst abandonment issues that Bobby had ever seen.

“How much did you get done for it?” Buck asked. His voice was dangerously calm and quiet and Bobby seriously considered just not answering him, but decided that might be worse than telling the truth because someone would tell Buck when he asked. He’d find out one way or another.

“Uh,” Bobby glanced at him, trying to read his expression. “Well, I mean you know there are certain things the Department insists on.”

“Like the truck and someone carrying the helmet,” Buck nodded.

“Which Eddie was going to do,” Bobby confirmed. “It was hard making decisions, your parents and Maddie got into a lot of arguments. It was… just all around a really hard thing to do.”

He never wanted to plan another funeral. He’d had to plan Marcy, Brook, and Robert’s funerals. After Evan had been missing for ten years, the police had asked if he and Marcy wanted to declare him dead and have a funeral, but that had been too hard, so they’d decided not to. His captain had asked again when he was planning the funerals after the fire, if he wanted to do one for Evan too. Bobby had screamed at him. He didn’t remember what he had said, but he remembered holding on to hope, in that moment.

They, to this day, hadn’t found Evan’s body. As long as there wasn’t a body, Evan wasn’t dead. That’s how Bobby chose to look at it. So long as there wasn’t a body, there would be no funeral. He would not give up on his son. He wouldn’t want him to come home and have the look that Buck had on his face when he heard that Bobby had been planning his funeral.

“They’re not my parents,” Buck said in a petulant tone.

“Right,” Bobby said, remembering that Buck was attempting to sever his ties to the Buckleys. “I’m sorry,”

Buck just shrugged.

“I didn’t give up on you,” Bobby said quietly. “I want you to know that. I did everything I could with my limited resources. Our team never stopped looking for you, but as your Captain, I had to be there while they planned the funeral. I had to be the spokesperson for the Department to make sure they understood what wasn’t negotiable in regard to a Firefighter’s funeral. The team didn’t want me and Maddie to go through that alone, so we were all there.”

Buck looked at him. “I’m not mad at you, Bobby,” he said seriously. “I fell almost a hundred feet and was missing for almost two weeks. I know how it looked.”

“But you wouldn’t have stopped looking for any one of us.” Bobby pointed out. “Not until a body turned up.”

“And you didn’t either,” Buck reminded him.

“No, I didn’t,” Bobby murmured.

“At least I broke the same leg,” Buck mused, looking down at the cast on his left leg.

Bobby let out a surprised chuckle. “That’s – that’s not quite funny, kid.”

He thought back to the ladder truck crushing Buck’s left leg and everything that came after. The sound of Buck’s screams still penetrated his nightmares when he slept. He’d never forget that night. The bomb that had been meant for him instead hurt one of the most important people to him.

Buck laughed lightly. “I just mean at least I don’t have two bad legs, now.”

“I guess that’s a bright side,” Bobby said reluctantly.

“Got to find one,” Buck tapped his fingers against the door. “Or I think I’d be suicidal at this point.”

“You can’t say stuff like that and then expect me not to worry about you,” Bobby warned him.

“I said I would be,” Buck explained. “Not that I am,”

Bobby hummed in agreement as he pulled into the driveway. “Now, just a heads up; May and Harry are very proud of what they’ve accomplished in your bedroom.”

Buck laughed. “Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Bobby chuckled. “So even if you hate it, you have to pretend to be impressed.”

“I’ll love it,” Buck said with certainty as he undid his seatbelt. Bobby got out of the truck and came to open his door for him.

“I’m sure you will,” Bobby agreed. “Athena and I supervised and drew the line at the firetruck bedframe,”

“Why do you guys hate fun?” Buck asked teasingly.

Bobby handed Buck his crutches and helped him out of the truck as the front door opened.

“Buck!” Harry yelled in excitement. Bobby and Buck looked up in time to see Athena yank the boy back into the house.

“Harry!” Buck returned the excitement.

“You got it?” Bobby asked as he shut the truck door and grabbed the bags from the back seat.

“Yeah,” Buck hobbled his way into the house and Athena held her arms out, ready to catch him if he fell as he made his way down the stairs into the living area where she, May, and Harry were waiting.

“Your confidence in my crutching skills is inspiring, Athena,” Buck said sarcastically, making everyone laugh.

“I don’t think crutching is a word,” Bobby said, pulling the front door shut behind himself.

“Actually,” Buck said as he made it down the stairs without issue. Bobby had forgotten that he’d become a crutch expert after the ladder truck incident. “It is, but it actually is the process of removing wool around the tail and rear legs of sheep.”

Bobby looked at Buck incredulously. “How do you know these things?”

“I had a lot of free time as a kid,” Buck shrugged.

Bobby felt a pang in his heart as he realized that Buck had become a lover of fun facts because his parents had ignored him when he was a child. And the team constantly poked fun at him for it. A wave of shame crashed over him.

“Can we show him, now?” Harry whined, interrupting Bobby’s moment of spiraling.

Athena looked at Buck apologetically. “They have a surprise for you.”

“I love surprises,” Buck turned to May and Harry expectantly.

***

Buck followed behind May as she led everyone down the hallway into what used to be a guest bedroom. It was the same one that Buck had crashed in a few times before, but it had been completely transformed.

Buck remembered a bare room that only boasted a large bed, two nightstands with decorative lamps on each, and a large, empty walk-in closet. The lamps had been switched out with more modern-looking ones and the bedding was a nice navy-blue color, with gray pillowcases. A comfy-looking throw blanket was folded at the end of the bed and the plush firetruck that Chimney had bought him was propped up against the pillows.

In the far corner of the room, a desk had been added. He noticed his laptop was already sitting on it and some pictures had hung up above it. A beanbag chair was in the other corner on that side of the room, next to a new bookcase that was filled with books that Buck couldn’t make out from his spot in the doorway. An entertainment center had been placed against the wall closest to him. His X-Box was sitting on it and a flat-screen T.V. was mounted above it.

Buck turned to look at the final wall and saw that someone had hung his clothes in the closet and placed all his right shoes on the shoe rack, not bothering to bring the left ones since he couldn’t wear them. Next to the closet door, all the pictures that the kids had drawn for him while he was in the hospital, that Eddie had taken down the day before, had been framed and they adorned the wall, practically covering it.

“Guys,” Buck hobbled into the room a little further. “You didn’t have to do this, this is too much.”

They’d spent money on this. They’d put a significant amount of time into this. Buck couldn’t decide if he should feel bad that they went to all that trouble, or cry because he was so touched that someone would do this for him.

He loved it, really he did. It looked amazing and he couldn’t believe they’d done all that for him. Margaret and Phillip never would have put the time into doing something like that; they would have had to acknowledge that he existed to do that.

“Nonsense,” Athena lightly smacked him on his arm and helped him over to the bed. He could tell instantly that it was a new mattress. He looked at her accusingly, but she pretended not to see it. “You deserve this,”

“Eddie went to your apartment and got everything he thought you’d ask for,” Bobby made a gesture that encompassed the clothes in the closet, the X-Box, and the throw blanket at the end of the bed. “He brought it by this morning.”

“I’ll have to text him and say thanks,” Buck said, smiling.

He glanced over at May and Harry who were looking at him nervously. He could tell that they were waiting to hear what he thought about the changes to the room and that his opinion of it would mean something to them.

“I love it, you guys did a wonderful job. Thank you.” He said gratefully as Athena manhandled him into a reclined position and shoved the firetruck back under his leg. That had been its function most of the time he’d been in the hospital, much to his nurses’ exasperation and Chimney’s joy.

Buck looked over at Bobby who was clearly holding back laughter as he watched his wife situate their pseudo-son on the bed. Buck stuck his tongue out at the captain who merely raised an eyebrow in return.

“Only the best for our big brother,” May said happily.

Buck liked the sound of that. He loved Maddie and she was a great big sister now, but she had her own life. She and Chimney were together, they had Jee-Yun, and Buck didn’t feel as needed by her anymore. May and Harry clearly wanted some type of a relationship with him, and Buck was happy to fill the role.

May sat down in the desk chair, spinning around gleefully and Harry plopped down on the beanbag in the corner with an oomph. Buck watched them with amusem*nt before glancing over at Athena and Bobby who were watching the scene unfold before them with blatant happiness.

“We’ll watch him,” Harry said to their parents seriously. “You can go.”

Bobby laughed and Athena looked at Harry with raised eyebrows. “Oh, can we now?” she asked.

Harry nodded and Athena leaned down to press a kiss to Buck’s brow.

“I’m in good hands,” Buck told her, seriously, a smile threatening to spread across his lips.

“I have no doubt,” she said. “Welcome home, baby.”

Buck didn’t bother trying to stop the smile from emerging at the sound of those words. It did feel like home, however temporary. In a way, that almost scared him. What would happen if he messed up again and suddenly he wasn’t welcome? This time it wouldn’t be people who felt like his parents rejecting him, it would be his actual parents and he wasn’t sure if he could handle that.

He knew he ought to talk to Bobby and Athena about it, but he didn’t want to rock the boat before they even knew for sure that the adoption was actually an option. He didn’t want them to think that he was planning to do something stupid, he just wanted reassurance that they wouldn’t go anywhere this time. Not like they did after the lawsuit. He couldn’t bear it if they gave up on him again.

Bobby looked at Buck over his shoulder as he went to close the door behind him and Athena. He looked happy. He had this fond, tender look in his eye as he made eye contact with Buck. There was an easy smile on his lips that put Buck at ease.

“I’ll leave here soon to go get your meds, okay?”

Buck nodded. “Thanks, Cap.”

The door shut behind the couple and Buck turned to his pseudo-siblings. They were already looking at him expectantly, way more comfortable sitting there than Buck was. He felt a little on edge, wondering if he was about to be interrogated.

“So,” he said awkwardly, trying not to be intimidated by a teenager and a twelve-year-old. “What’re we doing?”

“Mom and Bobby said they’re adopting you,” May said. “But I heard them talking about how it’s going to be harder than they thought. I figured you’d know what they meant by that, and I was hoping that you’d spill the tea.”

Straight to business then. Buck chuckled slightly. He was relieved that they didn’t seem to have a problem with the adoption, even out of earshot of their parents.

“Eavesdropping on your parents?” Buck asked, letting his amusem*nt show.

May simply shrugged with a proud smile and she and Harry waited patiently for him to answer the question.

“I was adopted when I was six,” Buck explained. “So, they need to see if the court will overturn that adoption so that I could be adopted again.”

“I didn’t know you were adopted,” Harry said, sitting forward slightly in a show of interest.

“Yeah,” Buck said, feeling a little bitter. “Me either.”

May’s eyebrows raised at that, but she didn’t ask any questions. He was grateful for that because he was dealing with a lot of negative feelings regarding the multitude of secrets surrounding his life. He knew that he wouldn’t be able to talk about it objectively and certainly not without getting emotional.

“Now, movie marathon time. Harry Potter or Marvel?” May asked with a serious look on her face.

“Marvel,” Buck and Harry said decisively.

***

Bobby came back into the room after May and Harry had gone to bed. He was holding something small in his hand.

“Hey, I thought you might want this back, I’ve been holding on to it since… I just finished charging it for you,” He handed Buck his cell phone.

“Oh, yeah!” Buck sat up and took it from Bobby’s hand. “Thanks for keeping it.”

“Of course,” Bobby said. “It’s been blowing up since it turned back on, you might want to go through it.”

“I will, thank you,” Buck said, already getting ready to go through all his notifications.

“Night, kiddo,” Bobby said as he closed the door behind him.

“Night,” he murmured as unlocked the phone and started to look through the hundreds of notifications. There were plenty from social media and his email that he dismissed. What surprised him was the amount of text messages and voicemails he had.

There were some he ignored like the ones from Taylor Kelly who was likely only looking for a good story to tell. Then there were the ones he stopped to read, like the few from TK Strand, his now good friend from Austin, Texas. They’d kept in regular contact after Buck, Eddie, and Hen had gone to help with the wildfires the previous year.

TK Strand – Hey, man. I just heard that a firefighter from the 118 is MIA. That’s not you, right?

TK Strand – Uhm, so it was just confirmed that it is you that’s missing, so you’ll get this when you come back. Call me. Hope you’re okay.

TK Strand – I just heard you’re dead… I don’t know why I’m even texting, but I’ll miss you, buddy.

TK Strand – YOU’RE NOT DEAD!!!! Call me, asshole!

Buck chuckled and decided he’d call TK in a minute. He wanted to go through everything else first.

He had texts from some of his other friends, like Connor and a few of his old roommates. A few of his buddies from the SEALS had texted his phone hoping to offer condolences to his family.

The voicemails, however, were from his family. Bobby, Athena, Chimney, Eddie, and Hen had all left voicemails for him while he’d been missing. He clicked on the first one, one from Chimney.

“They just called off the search for you, kid. I swear to God, I’d never say this to your sister’s face, but I f*cking hate your parents. They just swooped in and decided enough was enough. I could – I could never do that to Jee. How do you just give up like that? I don’t know why I called.. that’s not true.” Chimney choked up. “I wanted to hear your voice again. Because I swear to God the last time I hear your voice isn’t going to be you screaming as you fell to your death. Because we’re going to get you back. I promise you. I promise we’re going to find you.”

Buck wiped tears out of his eyes, and, with a shaking hand, he moved on to Eddie’s voicemail.

“I just told Christopher that you’re gone,” Eddie’s voice was a hoarse whisper. “I tried to wait, but he kept asking about you. I didn’t know how to keep lying to him. Carla was getting suspicious and the kid’s not an idiot. I just… you’re my best friend. Come back, man. I need you to still be out there somewhere, fighting. Because I don’t know how I can tell that kid that he’s lost another parent. You know that’s what you are to him. You’ve been... you’ve been my lifeline with Shannon dying, and honestly even before that. You’re my best friend. Don’t be dead. Please.”

Buck couldn’t put himself through three more of those, so he dried his tears, turned the lamp on his bedside table on, and started a FaceTime call with TK.

It was answered almost immediately. TK’s eyes were wide and he had a huge grin on his face.

“You’re alive!” He cheered. Buck could see another man peering over his friend’s shoulder.

“Barely,” Buck chuckled. “Is that Carlos?”

“Yeah,” TK moved the phone so the camera showed them both. “Baby, say hi.”

“Hello!” Carlos waved, smiling politely.

“Hi, nice to meet you,” Buck smiled.

“So what the f*ck happened?” TK asked. “This has all been so confusing. I thought we were going to be coming up to L.A. for a funeral.”

“I was trying to save some divers who fell about fifty feet down a cliffside and the latch on my line broke. I fell into the ocean, got pulled out to sea, and drifted in a life raft until I washed up on an island. I got life-flighted to a hospital, was in a coma, and just got released today.” Evan explained. “Got your texts,”

TK laughed. “So, what’s your damage?”

“Broken leg, sunburns, concussion,” Buck shrugged. “I had hypothermia, was dehydrated, and I had almost starved to death, but that’s all better now.”

“Well, thank God you’re okay,” TK said grimly. “I’m glad you’re not dead,”

“Yeah, you and me both,” Buck muttered. He looked at Carlos who was looking at the phone screen in curiosity. “How have you guys been?”

“Well, until about a week ago, we were packing for a funeral and getting ready to buy plane tickets,” TK said dryly. “But, uh, everything else has been good. You know, other than the fact that we’re still living with my father.”

“How long is that going to last?” Buck asked.

“Until we can find a place,” Carlos said. “We’re having some trouble finding anything that we like at the moment,”

Buck hummed in understanding. It had taken him a while to find the loft.

“How’s living with Captain Strand?” Buck asked.

“Well,” TK sighed. “He won’t let us eat any sugar,”

“Or fat, or trans-fats, or sodium,” Carlos started listing.

“Okay, okay, he gets it,” TK said. “We have to go hide in the In-and-Out parking lot and stuff our faces under the cover of darkness so that he won’t find out.”

Buck snorted. “That seems a little dramatic.”

“I will buy you a round-trip ticket just so you can come stay with us for a week and feel our pain,” Carlos said severely.

“We’ll have to take a rain check on that,” Buck said. “I’m currently dependent on my Captain and his wife,”

“Is that who you’re staying with?” TK asked. “The Captain that might as well be your dad?”

“Yeah,” Buck nodded. “Um, he and his wife actually asked if they could adopt me.”

“Oh, so he’s really going to be your dad, then,” TK grinned. “That’s great,”

“Is it what you want?” Carlos asked. “I mean, you guys are close?”

“Yeah, I think it’ll be really good.” Buck said before letting out a big yawn. “sorry,”

“No, no,” TK said. “You get some sleep, you just got out of the hospital. We’ll talk to you later.”

Buck got off the phone with his friend and set it on the bedside table. He turned over and snuggled into his bed. It took him a while to fall asleep and when he woke up, he couldn’t breathe. He reached up and grabbed his throat, trying to pull air in but not succeeding.

A hand came up and gently pried Buck’s away from his throat. Buck opened his eyes and saw Bobby standing over him, worry in his eyes.

“Breathe, kid,” He said as he sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed his back. “Breathe, breathe, come on, breathe.”

Bobby demonstrated a few deep breaths, And Buck struggled to mimic them.

“Okay, this is going to hurt,” Bobby grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him so that Buck was leaning against him, his head pillowed on his shoulder. He then beat him on his back and Buck took a big, gasping breath.

He pressed his forehead against Bobby’s neck and panted. Bobby hugged him close and rubbed his back where he’d hit him. Buck winced slightly, that was going to bruise. He got his breathing under control and Bobby slowly laid him back down against the pillows.

“That’s it, just breathe. You’re okay.” He soothed him.

“How’d you know?” Buck asked the captain.

“You were screaming, kiddo,” Bobby said, he reached out and grabbed Buck’s wrist and pressed his fingers against his pulse point, holding them there.

“I was?” Buck asked, confused. “I don’t remember that.”

“Yeah, you were screaming… and then you just stopped breathing,” Bobby told him grimly. “Do you remember what you were dreaming about?”

Buck closed his eyes and let the images from his dream wash back over him.

“I wasn’t dreaming,” Buck murmured. “I was remembering,”

He opened his eyes again and looked back at Bobby. The captain looked sad. The pressure on Buck’s pulse point increased.

“I remembered falling. I remembered hitting the water. I remembered the breath getting knocked out of me, and then not being able to breathe because I was underwater for so long. Getting tossed around, pulled further and further out to sea.” Buck said quietly.

“I’m so sorry, Buck,” Bobby whispered. “I wish I could take that from you,”

“Just another trauma to add to the pile,” Buck joked, but it fell flat.

Bobby didn’t look too impressed by Buck’s attempt at humor. Instead he rounded the bed, laid beside Buck, and pulled him against his side. Buck’s head fell against Bobby’s shoulder and after a few minutes of his fingers running through Buck’s hair, he fell asleep.

Chapter 8: Chapter Eight

Chapter Text

Buck’s second day of living with the Grant-Nash’s wasn’t as eventful as the first. May had to work and Harry was at his dad’s house. Bobby and Athena had been coming and going out of Buck’s room, checking up on him and spending bits of time with him.

Buck felt bad because he knew that Bobby was worried after Buck had woken him up last night when he had the nightmare. Buck had woken up when Athena came into the room to get Bobby who had fallen asleep after he’d gotten Buck back to sleep.

Bobby walked into the room again, this time with a stack of papers and a pen.

“Hey, kiddo,” Bobby sat on the bed beside him. “I’ve got the paperwork for the adoption. Are you ready to sign? We can wait if you’re not ready.”

Buck looked up from the article he’d been reading, and he took in the look on Bobby’s face. He looked nervous like he was waiting for rejection.

“I thought we were waiting to see if the court could overturn the first adoption?” Buck asked.

“We are, but we thought we’d have everything already done so that when they overturn the adoption, we can immediately start the process of this one,” Bobby explained.

Buck nodded and reached for the stack of papers, letting Bobby keep the pen for a moment while he flipped through all of it.

There was a court report of the adoption form that was halfway filled out. Buck would have to fill the rest of it out and state what he wanted his new name to be. Then there was an adoption agreement and a petition for the approval of the adoption agreement. Those had been almost completely filled out by Bobby and Athena and they just needed Buck’s signature.

“Yeah, okay,” Buck said, and he reached for the pen, but Bobby didn’t hand it over.

“What’s wrong?” Bobby asked.

Buck blinked at him and shook his head. “Nothing,” he said. “I’m tired,”

“You slept thirteen hours,” Bobby said, unimpressed. “What’s wrong?”

“What if I mess up, again?” Buck asked quietly, dropping his eyes to the papers in his lap. “I don’t think I could handle you guys being my parents for real and giving up on me.”

“Everyone messes up, Buck,” Bobby reached forward and grasped Buck’s forearm. “we love you and that isn’t going to change. Is this about Phillip and Margaret?”

“Partially,” Buck shrugged.

“The lawsuit?” Bobby asked quietly. “Evan, yes you hurt our feelings and it took some time for us to get over it, but we never gave up on you. That whole situation was caused by my misguided attempts to protect you because I love you and I was terrified of losing you.”

“But I messed up, too,” Buck said, finally meeting Bobby’s eye again.

“Yeah, you did,” Bobby agreed. “But we moved past it because that’s what family does.”

Buck held eye contact with Bobby for a moment, letting the words sink in before he reached for the pen again and this time, Bobby let him take it. Buck filled out the court report of adoption form and elected to change his last name to Nash and then he signed the other two forms.

He handed the stack of papers back over to Bobby just as they heard Athena greeting someone.

“Sounds like you’ve got visitors,” Bobby said.

Eddie appeared in the open doorway. “Hey,” he smiled. “Athena recruited Chris to help finish baking some cookies,”

“Sounds delicious,” Buck replied.

“No, it sounds like I better go supervise,” Bobby said, patting Buck’s knee and sweeping out of the room.

Buck and Eddie laughed, and Eddie crossed the room and leaned down to carefully give Buck a hug.

“I came bearing gifts,” Eddie announced.

He went back to the doorway and reached out into the hallway. He came back with a Nintendo Switch box.

“Chimney and Hen have decided that the four of us are going to have a Mario Kart Tournament while you’re laid up.” Eddie placed it on top of the entertainment center next to the X-Box.

“Sounds like fun,” Buck said as Eddie rounded the bed to sit beside him. “Also sounds a little dangerous.”

“We’ll have to do it while Bobby’s here,” Eddie laughed. “So, he can enforce the no physical violence rule.”

“Yeah, I think that’s a good idea,” Buck agreed. “How’s Chris?”

“Excited to see you,” Eddie said. “He’s trying to act like it didn’t bother him too much, you being gone, but I can tell that it did.”

“Kid’s been through a lot,” Buck murmured. Eddie hummed in agreement. “You staying long?”

“Few hours,” Eddie said. “Chris wants to show you his favorite game on the Switch, so I’ve got to get it set up.”

“Is it that animal game he was talking about when we picked him up from Pepa?” Buck asked as Eddie relaxed more against the headboard.

“Animal Crossing,” Eddie rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I still don’t understand the point of it. But he loves it, so I guess that’s what matters.”

“Did he get to do that project with Carla?” Buck asked. “The one he was so excited about? The um… magnetic slime?”

Eddie looked a little uneasy, but he nodded. “Yeah, I uh, I don’t remember much about it, though. You’d have to ask him. I was kind of checked out. They did that a few days after you went missing.”

Buck studied his best friend’s face. He suddenly looked a little closed off, like he was trying not to let too much show on his face. Buck could tell that his question had upset Eddie in some way.

“Are you okay?” Buck asked quietly.

“I’m fine,” Eddie answered.

“You don’t seem fine,” Buck retorted.

“I thought you were dead, Buck,” Eddie said in a hard tone. “It’s not something you just get over.”

“I’m sorry,” Buck said.

Eddie huffed out a breath. “It’s not your fault.”

“Buck!” They heard Christopher’s voice from across the house. Buck couldn’t help the immediate grin that came out at the sound of the kid’s voice. He sat up straight and looked toward the doorway.

“Superman!” Buck yelled back.

Athena, Bobby, and Christopher appeared in the doorway. Chris was in Bobby’s arms, smiling so big that it looked like it hurt. Athena was holding a plate of cookies, a soft smile on her face. The smell wafted into the room and Buck’s stomach grumbled, making Eddie snort.

“Hey, Buddy!” Buck smiled and held out his arms. “Did you help bake some cookies?”

Bobby walked into the room and passed the boy over to Buck. Christopher immediately wrapped his arms around Buck’s neck and held on tightly. Buck hugged him back as tightly as he could without hurting the kid.

“Yeah! I missed you!” Christopher declared.

Buck took a deep breath, breathing the kid in. He pressed his face into Christopher’s shoulder and wound his fingers in the boy’s hair.

“I missed you, too,” Buck said. “so, so much.”

He looked up in time to see Athena putting the plate of cookies on his desk and Bobby smiling at him before walking out of the room. Eddie had gotten up and opened up the box that housed the new gaming console, giving Buck and Christopher their moment.

“Buck,” Christopher pulled back, still smiling like always. “Carla said that you have to stay in bed for a long time, now.”

“Hey, now,” Buck said, mock offended. “Not too long. I’ll be back at work before your dad is.”

“Really?” Chris asked like he was genuinely surprised.

“Yep,” Buck said. “I’ll be going back to work a few weeks before him because my leg is going to heal quicker than his shoulder.”

“Wow,” Chris said impressed.

“But,” Eddie interjected. “We will have lots of time with our Buck before that since you don’t have school and I don’t have work. We get to come bug him all the time.”

“Oh no!” Buck pretended to gasp in horror. “I’m going to see you guys all the time?”

Chris laughed and smacked his hands against Buck’s chest.

“Buck!” He complained.

Eddie laughed. “You’re stuck with us, Buckley.”

“Good,” Buck said fondly. “You’re stuck with me, too,”

***

Buck had hobbled his way out to the couch since Athena and Bobby were both at work. He was alone in the house, but Hen had told him that Karen and Denny might drop by later that day to visit with him. Eddie had dropped Christopher off with Abuela and Pepa but planned on bringing him by to have dinner with Bobby, Athena, Buck, May, and Harry that evening, after his shift. For the time being, however, he was on his own.

When he heard the knock on the door he’d assumed it was Karen and Denny.

“Come in!” He yelled, not wanting to make them wait until he could haul himself off the couch and slowly make his way up the stairs. It was getting really irritating, not being able to move around like he was accustomed to.

He reached forward, grabbed the television remote, and paused the documentary he was watching.

To his surprise, it was not Karen who opened the door and stepped inside. It was a detective he was pretty sure he’d seen with Athena before. The man looked a little reluctant, but he still radiated confidence. He closed the door behind him and stepped up to the top of the stairs, but he didn’t descend them until Buck acknowledged him.

“Uh, hi,” Buck said with an awkward little wave. “I’d get up, but,” he gestured to his leg.

“No need, Mr. Buckley,” the detective made his way down the steps and stopped to stand in front of him. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine, thanks,” Buck answered. “Athena isn’t here,”

“I’m actually here to talk to you,” the detective said. “My name is Lou Ransone. I’m a detective.”

Buck tried to keep his expression neutral. He wasn’t sure what the detective could possibly want to talk to him about. The police had briefly spoken to him after he woke up in the hospital, but he’d been sure that the questions were over with, and Athena had never given him any reason to believe that a detective would need to come to speak to him about the accident.

“I think I’ve seen you before, yeah,” Buck extended his hand. “Buck.”

Lou shook his hand and took a seat across from Buck. He looked comfortable in the Grant-Nash home which made Buck wonder how often he’d been there before.

“So, what can I do for you?” Buck asked.

“I’m here because I was made aware that you were trying to get an adoption overturned,” Lou explained, steepling his fingers in front of himself.

Buck was taken aback. Why would that interest the police? It wasn’t against the law to get adoptions overturned or Bobby and Athena never would have suggested it. He wondered what had sparked the police’s interest in the case.

“Yeah, I was adopted when I was six, but Athena and Bobby want to adopt me. I’m not on good terms with my adoptive parents, so.” He shrugged. “Is something wrong?”

“Well, the court contacted the police department because it found something when it started digging into your adoption.” Lou sighed. “There is no record of your adoption, Mr. Buckley.”

“What do you mean?” Buck asked.

That didn’t make any sense. Maddie claimed that Buck had been adopted, she may have kept secrets from him, but she wouldn’t outright lie to him like that. Not about something like that.

“We believe you may have been kidnapped,” Lou said, his tone was gentle even though the words were blunt. “Would you be willing to accompany me back to the station so we can talk on the record and get a DNA test done?”

Buck’s head was spinning. He’d ceased to comprehend anything the detective had said after he’d suggested that Buck had been kidnapped. Yeah, Phillip and Margaret Buckley were awful parents. They’d never made Buck feel like he belonged or like he was loved, but were they really capable of stealing someone else’s child just to treat him like sh*t?

“Kidnapped?” Buck repeated weakly. “No, that’s… no.” he shook his head.

Lou nodded and watched Buck with perceptive eyes.

“I know that this is hard to take in,” Lou said kindly. “We’re just looking into this, we want to do some digging.”

“I-I don’t,” Buck shook his head and ran a hand over his face. “What did you ask me? I didn’t catch it,”

“Will you come to the station with me so that we can talk on record and do a DNA test?” Detective Ransone repeated.

Talk on record. So, everything he said would be put into the case file. He’d have to tell them about the Buckleys so that they could build a case against them. They’d probably call Maddie in, too, and he wished that he could save her from that, but this was out of his control.

“You have a theory,” Buck concluded. “You think you know who I really am,”

“We have a hunch,” Detective Ransone said cryptically.

Buck wasn’t sure he liked the sound of that. It made his stomach twist with nerves, and he began to sweat slightly, his hands getting clammy.

“I mean,” Buck swallowed nervously. “Is this really necessary?”

“I’m afraid so,” Detective Ransone ran a critical eye over Buck’s shaking form. “Are you alright?”

“I just need to catch a break,” Buck breathed. “It’s one damn thing after another,”

“I can only imagine the stress you’re under,” Lou said sympathetically. “I’m sorry to add to it, but this could be a good thing, Mr. Buckley.”

“I’m not so sure about that,” Buck said under his breath.

He’d thought he was about to have a good thing. Bobby and Athena had chosen him as their family. They had been choosing to make him their son, they were fully informed, knew exactly what they were getting into, and they’d chosen him. Now, he might be thrust back into a family he hadn’t seen in over twenty years and had no memory of them and they would feel obligated to take him back. It would be yet another family that was stuck with him and he wasn’t sure that he could handle that.

“Um,” Buck pulled his phone out of his back pocket. “I just need to text my friend, she was supposed to come babysit me for a while.”

Buck typed out a quick message to Karen and sent it.

Buck 11:27 AM – Don’t come over. Going to the police station with a detective. More info later.

Buck tucked his phone back into his pocket. He grabbed his crutches and stood up, skillfully keeping any weight off of his left leg. Lou hurried to stand, watching him warily, his hands held aloft like he wanted to help, but was unsure if assistance would be welcome. “I’m fine. Lead the way.”

Chapter 9: Chapter Nine

Chapter Text

The car ride was a little weird. Lou kept trying to make conversation, but it was like he was being careful about which topics he brought up. He asked about the firehouse, Buck’s recovery, how he was getting along with Harry and May, “Hey, didn’t your sister just have a baby?” and things like that.

Buck had to bite his tongue so that he didn’t snap and say something like well if you’re right then she’s not actually my sister.

And wouldn’t that just be the perfect excuse for Maddie to leave him again? They aren’t real family. Jee-Yun isn’t his niece, Chimney wasn’t his kind-of-sort-of brother-in-law. He had no real ties to any of them and his heart was splintering into tiny pieces at the thought of that. They’d walk away, just like everyone else in his life.

When they arrived at the police station, Lou pulled into a spot near the doors, and he slowed his steps to match Buck’s gait. The detective led him inside and past all the desks and officers, into a room with only a table and chairs and a one-way glass window that showed Buck’s reflection. He wondered if someone was behind it, watching them.

Lou helped Buck to situate one of the chairs so that his broken leg was elevated, and Buck was sitting parallel to the table with his crutches propped up within arm’s reach. The detective sat on the other side of the table and set a water bottle in front of Buck.

Buck looked down at the bottle and watched the condensation drip off it, onto the metal surface of the table. Finally, he looked up to see Lou already watching him. Buck wondered if he was learning anything from his quiet observation of him. Was there something that Buck was doing that the Detective was cataloging in his mind, taking mental notes to help with the investigation?

“Are you ready?” He asked gently.

“As I’ll ever be,” Buck muttered.

The door opened and a woman came in with some sort of plastic package in her hands. She stepped up to Buck’s side and gave him a smile that seemed more professional than genuine.

“Mr. Buckley,” she greeted. “I’m Tara, could I collect a DNA sample from you?”

He wanted to say no. He wanted to go back to Bobby and Athena’s and forget that this ever happened. He didn’t want to be smack dab in the middle of an investigation while he was trying to heal from being presumed dead for two weeks. He didn’t want to deal with this and he didn’t want to deal with the strangers that would come to claim him as their family.

Buck had a family. He didn’t need anybody else. He didn’t want anything to change.

“Uh, sure,” Buck sat up a little straighter.

She ripped open the plastic packaging and pulled out a cotton swab and a test tube. She held the swab in one hand and twisted the cap off the tube, holding it in her other hand.

“It’s just a quick cheek swab,” She moved the swab in his direction, and he opened his mouth wide. She rubbed the swab against the inside of his cheek a few times and then snapped the tip off into the tube, sealing it. “Thank you,” she sing-songed and swept out of the room, taking her trash with her.

Buck turned back to the detective.

“When will you tell me the results?” Buck asked.

“As soon as we get them,” Lou promised.

“And what if I don’t want to meet them?” Buck asked. “What if I just want to go home and forget about this?”

“We won’t force you to do anything you don’t want to,” Lou swore. “But you should consider it. They’re your family,”

“The 118 is my family,” Buck corrected. “Maddie is my family.”

“Of course,” Lou agreed easily.

“Does Athena know I’m here?”

“We haven’t told her.” The detective answered. “Would you like me to call her?”

Buck wanted to say yes. He found himself craving the woman’s comforting presence. He wanted her to come sit beside him and wrap her arm around his shoulders while he answered the detective’s questions, but he knew he shouldn’t bother her while she was working.

“No, it’s okay,” he said quietly.

The detective looked like he didn’t believe him, which only served to prove that he was good at his job. He nodded, though.

“We’ll call her when we get the results.” He decided. “We’ll have her come sit with you, then.”

“Okay,” Buck said quietly.

“So, tell me what you do know.” Lou requested. “You said you were told that you were adopted when you were six?”

“Yeah, my sister told me the other day,” Buck confirmed.

“You didn’t know prior to that?” Lou asked.

“No,”

“Did she notice anything strange about the adoption?” The detective questioned. “Did she say anything that struck you as strange?”

“She said that it was really sudden,” Buck said. “That she and our brother didn’t know anything about it until my parents were introducing me to them. She couldn’t remember where we were, it was Minnesota or Michigan or something.”

“And you said that you don’t get along with Phillip and Margaret,” Lou prompted.

“They were distant. They didn’t typically acknowledge me unless I was hurt or sick.” Buck shrugged. “Maddie was more my parent than they were.”

“When you were hurt or sick,” Lou asked. “Did you ever have to go to the hospital?”

“Only once when I broke my arm,” Buck answered. “I was twelve. Then when I was eighteen I crashed my motorcycle, and I took myself to the hospital. I’ve been in the hospital a few times since I’ve lived in L.A.”

Lou nodded. “Did you ever notice anything strange about their behavior? Were there specific places that you felt they avoided bringing you to?”

“Everywhere?” Buck snorted. “I told you; they didn’t like me. I didn’t go many places with them. I’d go to school, baseball practice, hang out with my friends, and all that, but Maddie says that they changed after Daniel died, a year after I was adopted. I had given him bone marrow to try and save his life, but it didn’t work. They resented me.”

“He had leukemia, right?” Detective Ransone asked.

“Yeah,” Buck nodded.

“Did they ever take you back to Minnesota or Michigan?” Lou asked. “On a trip or a vacation?”

“No,” Buck shook his head. “I’ve never been to either of those places.”

“Do you remember ever going by a different name?” Lou asked. “A nickname, anything?”

“I grew up as Evan and then when I joined the Fire Academy there were three other Evans in my class, so I became Buck,” He shrugged.

“Do you have any early memories that, looking back, you think might be of your life before being kidnapped?” Lou moved on. “Maybe the Buckleys tried to tell you they were dreams or imaginary friends?”

Buck thought back on his childhood, running through his early memories with a fine-tooth comb. He hadn’t had any imaginary friends that he could remember, but he did remember getting things confused, a lot.

“Uh, not really,” Buck shook his head. “I remember thinking that my dad was a firefighter for a while, but he’s a lawyer.”

A strange expression crossed Lou’s face and he patted his hands against the table before he stood up.

“Alright, I’ll be back in a bit, do you need anything?” Detective Ransone asked.

“I’m good, thanks,” Buck answered.

“I’m going to need your cell phone,” Lou said. “I need your permission to unlock it and look through it for any information that could help the case.”

Buck pulled his phone out of his pocket and typed in the password. He held it out to the detective.

“Knock yourself out,” He said.

Lou thanked him with a nod and left the room.

Buck stared at the blank wall for a while and tried not to spiral. They didn’t know anything for sure, yet. This was all about hunches and theories and strange coincidences from his childhood. It wasn’t based on fact.

He braced his elbow against the table, propped his head up on his hand, and let himself fall asleep. It’s not like there was anything else that he could do to keep himself occupied since the detective took his cell phone.

He woke up to a hand gently shaking his shoulder and found that a blanket had been draped over him. A woman in a fancy police uniform was standing over him with a sympathetic look on her face. It made dread settle in his gut because that couldn’t mean anything good.

“I’m sorry we kept you waiting for so long. My name is Elaine Maynard, I’m the Captain of this precinct.”

“Athena’s talked about you,” Buck held his hand out and Captain Maynard shook it, kindly ignoring the fact that it was shaking.

“She’s talked about you as well,” She smiled. “Can Detective Ransone and I sit?” she gestured to the chairs on the other side of the table.

“It’s your interrogation room,” Buck said, trying to use humor to hide the fact that he’d rather be anywhere else in the world.

Captain Maynard and Detective Ransone both smiled and sat down in the empty chairs. Buck noticed that the detective was holding several files and suddenly felt like he could be sick. His head spun a little and his vision blurred. Panic took hold of him for a moment, and he tried to breathe through it.

The Captain and Detective gave him a moment, probably seeing that he really needed it. When he was a little steadier, but not by much, he jerked his chin toward the files.

“So,” he said. “it’s true? You figured it out?”

“We were correct in the assumption that you were a missing person,” Lou said. He took the top file off the stack and turned it around before he set it on the table in front of Buck and flipped it open. The first page was a missing person flyer with a picture of a little blonde boy.

MISSING PERSON

EVAN NASH

DOB: 06/27/1991

Chapter 10: Chapter Ten - Part One

Chapter Text

Buck felt like he might stop breathing. His eyes took in every inch of the flyer. The name, the birthdate that was different than what he’d always thought it was, the lack of a birthmark over the child’s eye. The shining blue eyes, curly blonde hair, wide smile with a few missing teeth.

It was him. Buck couldn’t deny that. Maddie had given him a few pictures from his childhood and the kid on the flyer looked just like the kid in those pictures, aside from the missing mark. He reached out and ran a finger over the picture.

“There’s no birthmark,” He murmured. “That means it’s not actually a birthmark, then,”

“It could be a burn,” The detective said. “It’s not uncommon for kidnappers to maim the children they’ve taken in order to alter their appearance. It makes it easier for them since the children won’t be as recognizable.”

“So, I’m Bobby’s son?” Buck let his fingers ghost along the edges of the paper in the file.

“Yes,” Captain Maynard nodded, her eyes were filled with kindness. He could see why Athena spoke so highly of her. She really did seem nice.

“Your name is Evan Michael Nash,” Detective Ransone said. “You were kidnapped just before your sixth birthday from St. Paul, Minnesota. Your parents are Bobby and Marcy Nash. Your mother died seven years ago, along with your younger siblings, Robert and Brook. Your father was the one who reported you missing on June twenty-second, 1997. It’s believed that you were taken from outside the firehouse that your father worked at while his back was turned.”

“I understand that this might be a shock for you,” Captain Maynard said. “I know that you’re currently staying with Athena and Bobby,”

“Yeah, I am,” Buck said. “What happens next?”

“Well, we already contacted your father, and he has been brought up to speed.” Captain Maynard said. “Athena is with him. We will let them in to see you in a few minutes. We have spoken to the Hershey Police Department; they will apprehend the Buckleys. We will bring your sister in to talk more about what you can’t remember. We will also start the process of helping you transition from Evan Buckley back to Evan Nash.”

“Wait, Bobby’s here?” Buck asked. He was suddenly hit with a strong sense of nervousness. His stomach flipped and he felt like the breath was knocked out of him. He didn’t want to face Bobby. He didn’t want to look him in the eye and see a difference in the way that his father figure, who is apparently his biological father, looked at him. He was right, earlier. Bobby and Athena had chosen to adopt Evan Buckley, but Evan Buckley is different than Evan Nash. They may have been willing to accept him when he had no real ties to them, but it would be different now that Bobby realized that Buck was actually related to him.

He’d be disappointed to hear that his son had turned out this way. Buck had been a total punk and a dumbass when he started at the 118. Bobby had fired him. Then, Buck sued him and cut off contact for weeks. They had so much history between the two of them that didn’t even touch the whole kidnapping situation.

He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t face Bobby.

“He is,” Captain Maynard confirmed. “He wants to see you,”

“I can’t do this,” Buck panted. “I can’t do this,”

Lou pulled his chair around the table to sit near Buck. He took one of his hands in both of his own.

“He’s happy about this, Evan,” Lou said in a calming tone.

“Buck,” Buck said firmly. “My name is Buck.”

“I apologize,” Lou said easily. “Your father is happy. He’s thrilled. He is relieved. He cried with happiness and asked to see you immediately after we told him.”

“Are you sure he knows you’re talking about me?” Buck asked, his voice sounding so pathetically small. He wanted to just get up, flip the table, and leave. The problem was that he had a cast encompassing his leg and he was in a police station. If he gave in to his impulsive thoughts, he would definitely be arrested.

For a split second, Buck wondered if being arrested might be better than facing his father. Then he imagined the looks of disappointment on Bobby and Athena’s faces. He would just be proving them right for every bad thought they’d ever had about him. Buck the disappointment. Buck the screw-up. Buck; the one everyone walks away from. Buck the one that isn’t worth sticking around for.

“I’m positive,” Lou said. “We showed him a picture of you. He was quite distressed to find out that you’d been with him for so long and he never put the pieces together and realized who you really are. He thinks you’re going to be angry with him.”

Buck shook his head. “I’m not angry,”

‘I’m just not holding my breath,’ he thought.

“He’s still answering some questions,” Captain Maynard said. “Are you hungry? I’m ordering lunch.”

Buck looked up at her. She must be a mother, he figured, because she had that universal mom look on her face that told him that while it had been phrased as a question, he didn’t really have a choice. She was going to get him food either way.

“I’m starving,” Buck nodded.

“Are you allergic to anything?” She asked.

“No,” Buck shook his head.

She swept out of the room, promising him that lunch would be there soon. Buck didn’t reply, instead looking back down at the picture of himself.

“How could I not remember being burned?” Buck asked. “You’d think that would be the sort of thing you’d remember.”

“Sometimes our brains try to protect us by blocking traumatic memories.” Detective Ransone explained. “It’s probable that that’s why you have no memory of the kidnapping or being burned. You were also very young,”

They sat in silence for a moment before Buck turned to the detective, feeling more vulnerable than he was comfortable being in front of a stranger.

“Are you sure he’s not disappointed that it’s me?” Buck asked.

“I’m positive.” The detective assured him. “I’ll be back with your food.”

Lou left the room and was back within half an hour. He handed Buck a McDonalds bag and a can of co*ke. He placed a tablet on the table in front of him with Netflix already queued up. This was definitely the highlight of his experience in the interrogation room. In any interrogation room, really. He’s been in several and the police had never been so friendly and accommodating. He was usually being accused of something, like that bank heist.

It was another half hour before the door opened again. He was most of the way through an episode of some trashy reality TV show. The drama was just unmatched and he wasn’t ashamed to say that he was hooked on it. He looked up when he heard the door and saw Athena take a step inside.

Her eyes were a little puffy and it was clear that she had been crying. She had one hand still on the door, holding it slightly ajar. Buck put two and two together and realized that Bobby must be right behind her, but they wanted to give Buck the power to say whether or not he wanted to see his father.

“Hey, baby,” Athena said like she was talking to a child. “Are you up for some company?”

Part of Buck wanted to say no. He wanted to call Eddie and have him pick him up and let him hide away in his guest room until everyone could completely forget about the whole situation. Another part of him felt the strongest sense of longing that he ever had. He wanted to see his father walking through that door. He wanted him to come inside and wrap him in his arms, holding him tight and assuring him that everything would be just fine.

Until it wasn’t, of course.

Because that’s the way things went in Buck’s life.

Things were great until Buck wasn’t worth the trouble anymore.

Buck was great until your mom died. Buck was great until a fire engine crushed his leg. Buck was great until he wanted too much from you. Buck was great until he fought for what he thought he deserved.

He doesn’t know why he ever thought he could be anything other than the kid that everybody left. The kid that his parents looked straight through. The kid that Maddie left with their parents, and then stopped talking to because she was too afraid to leave her husband. He was the kid who hadn’t belonged anywhere, how could he think that he would belong with Bobby and Athena now?

Athena looked at Buck expectantly as the silence stretched on. Her expression didn’t change, she didn’t let it morph into pity even though he knew that she knew he was spiraling.

“The more the merrier,” he said quietly as he dropped his eyes to the tabletop beside him. He reached forward and turned the tablet off.

Athena held the door open a little wider and Bobby stepped into the room looking much worse than Athena. Buck didn’t make eye contact, but he took in the man’s appearance. His eyes were red-rimmed and puffy, he was pale, and there were tear tracks on his cheeks. He didn’t look like Buck’s confident captain; he looked like a terrified parent.

Buck couldn’t handle the stifling silence. Bobby and Athena were just standing in front of the door, waiting to see if he’d say something, and making Buck feel horribly claustrophobic.

“This is the best time I’ve ever had in one of these rooms, let me tell you,” Buck said, trying to defuse the tension. Humor was always his go-to defense mechanism, but his tone was flat, and he knew the look on his face wasn’t going to be fooling anyone. “They got me food, gave me a chair for my leg, hooked me up with some Netflix, and no one is accusing me of robbing a bank!”

That seemed to spur Bobby and Athena into movement. They laughed slightly, probably just trying to make Buck feel more comfortable, and came to sit across the table from him. Bobby’s eyes flicked down to the open file still in front of Buck, his eyes caught on the missing person’s flyer.

“Yeah,” Buck said, closing the file and placing his hand on top of it. “That’s as far as I got,”

Buck looked back at Bobby and met his eye for the first time since he’d left for work that morning. Back when everything had been normal and nothing had to change. Bobby was already looking at him and the look in his eyes was overwhelming. His eyes were wide and full of love. He looked like he was seeing the most amazing thing in the world.

“Can we go?” Buck wrenched his eyes away from Bobby and looked at Athena.

Athena tilted her head slightly. “I think we should talk first,” she said.

“Okay,” Buck said quietly. He didn’t want to cause any trouble or make Bobby feel like he was upset to find out that he was his father. He really wasn’t, it was just that he felt like now more than ever, his position in the man’s life was precarious.

In his experience, it was the family you were legally or biologically tied to that was most likely to leave. The family he’d found, however, were the ones that had stuck by him through everything. They were the ones who appeared to love him despite his many flaws. They were the ones who had keys to his apartment, included him in family dinners, and checked up on him when he was sick or hurt.

Logically, he knew that Bobby and Athena were included in all of that, but it was like his mind and his heart just weren’t connecting. He couldn’t rationally talk himself through this.

“Are you okay?” Bobby asked.

“I’m overwhelmed,” Buck answered honestly. “Who kidnaps a kid just to treat them like sh*t?”

“Some truly evil people,” Athena said gravely.

“I never thought of them like that,” Buck mused, looking down at the tabletop. “Disinterested, distant, cold, absent, not evil,”

Neither Bobby nor Athena seemed to have anything to say about that.

“I always wondered what I had done to make them treat me so differently from Maddie. Why was I never good enough? Why did I have to go looking for ways to hurt myself just so that I could get a little bit of attention? Then they have the nerve to tell me that I never made it easy on them, what did I want them to do? I only ever wanted my parents to love me,”

Fingers brushed the side of Buck’s hand, and he looked down to see Bobby’s hand hesitantly waiting beside his own. Buck allowed his father to clasp his hand and he met his eyes, shocked to see that tears were streaming down his cheeks.

“I love you so much,” Bobby said. “Your mother loved you so much. She was obsessed. She never took her eyes off you. She’d wake up at night and just go stand over your crib and watch you sleep. When I wasn’t on shift, I was spending time with you. Hell, I had your mom bring you to the firehouse sometimes because I hated being away from you for so long. Your mom, she’s not here anymore, but I am. I am your parent and I love you. You’re my whole world, kid. You are good enough and you never have to hurt yourself to get my attention. You already have it.”

“That’s everything I’ve ever wanted to hear,” Buck’s voice sounded a bit hoarse. “I want to believe you, and I think a bit part of me does. But I’ve been let down so many times.”

“That’s completely understandable,” Athena told him. She looked and sounded so sincere it almost brought tears to Buck’s eyes.

“We’ll prove to you that we’re going to stay,” Bobby promised. “No matter how long it takes. We’re not going to walk away.”

Buck held eye contact with his father for a moment. Bobby didn’t break it, he stared into Buck’s eyes trying to convey his sincerity as much as he could. Buck felt his shoulders relax slightly and the tension in his jaw started melting away.

“I just don’t want everything to change.” He said. “We had a good thing going,”

“Honey,” Athena said in that same voice she used when she couldn’t believe the stupidity that was coming out of his mouth. “we were already going to adopt you. You were already going to be Evan Nash. The only thing that’s different now, is that we don’t need an adoption. You’re already family.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Buck said, but he still felt a little strange. He figured that he just needed some time to adapt. “I’m just being..”

“Hey, no,” Bobby says firmly but not unkindly. “don’t go there. You’re not doing anything wrong, in fact, you’re handling this a lot better than I expected. I kind of thought you’d call Eddie and leave.”

Buck smiled wryly. “The thought crossed my mind,”

To his relief, Bobby and Athena laughed.

“Do you have any questions?” Bobby asked. “You can ask me anything.”

Buck shook his head as he chuckled. “I’m sure I’ve got a million questions.” He said. “but my head is spinning.”

Athena reached across the table and took his hand. “Just take a breath. It’s not like this is the last time we’re going to see each other. Your dad is going to take you home after this, you’re living with us remember? You have plenty of time to ask all the questions you want.”

Buck nodded and took a deep breath.

“Have you heard from Karen?” He asked. “Detective Ransone took my phone.”

“She texted me not long after you texted her,” Athena said. “I’ve been trying to get information since, but they were stonewalling me.”

Buck glanced over at Bobby, who hadn’t stopped staring at him.

“Are you okay?” Buck asked quietly.

Bobby took a shuddering breath. “I’m relieved to know that you’re alive. I’ve been…haunted by the possibilities of what might have happened to you for twenty-four years.” He scrubbed at his face as tears fell. “But I’m also heartbroken because you’ve told me how you were treated growing up. I feel stupid that we’ve worked together for years, and I didn’t realize it was you.”

“I think that we recognized each other on some level,” Buck said. “We already meant so much to each other before we found out about this. We already loved each other.”

Bobby nodded. “Yeah, that’s true.”

“What are we going to do now?” he asked. “Captain Maynard already explained what they’ll do on their end, but what about us?”

“We’ll need to get you a new driver’s license, you’ll need to get your name changed on all your records, and through the firehouse,” Athena said. “We’ll work out when one of us can take you to do those things.”

“I’ve still got your birth certificate and social security card, and all of that,” Bobby said. “You and I will need to sign some paperwork for HR so that you can stay with the 118 if that’s what you want to do.”

“Of course, I want to stay with the 118,” Buck said. “Are you going to be okay with me being on your team? You’re not going to go all protective Dad, are you?”

“It’ll take some time for me to get over watching you go into dangerous situations, I’m sure,” Bobby admitted. “But I’d much rather you be on my team than anyone else’s.”

Buck was relieved. He was worried that maybe now that Bobby knew Buck was his son he would decide it was too much to see him run into fires, unstable buildings, and other dangerous situations. He was worried about losing the family that he’d created at the 118.

“Good, because I wasn’t going to leave without a fight,” Buck smirked half-heartedly.

“You are where you belong,” Athena agreed.

Buck glanced over at the glass that took up most of the wall. “Are they going to come ask more questions?”

“No, baby,” Athena answered. “They’re just giving us time to talk. I have to go back to work after this.”

“Oh,” Buck looked at Bobby. “You have to go back to work, too?”

“No, Chimney’s covering for me today,” Bobby answered. “I’m going home with you.”

Buck looked back at the glass again.

“No one’s watching us, honey,” Athena promised.

“The detective asked me if there were any moments growing up that the Buckleys had tried to convince me that I’d imagined something,” Buck told them as he stared at the glass. “For the longest time, I was convinced that Phillip was a firefighter.”

“You remembered that about your real dad,” Athena almost sounded proud.

Buck wished that he’d remembered more. He wished that he’d been able to say something sooner in his life and that he’d been returned to his father when he was younger. His life might’ve been so much better for it. He would have grown up with parents who loved him.

“I didn’t remember that until he asked,” Buck said as he turned to look at Bobby. “But I thought you deserved to know that I didn’t completely forget about you.”

Bobby looked ready to cry again. Buck quickly averted his eyes because he figured if Bobby started crying, he was going to start crying, too. He looked back at Athena. He wanted to go home; he wanted out of this police station where he couldn’t tell if people were watching them. He wanted to curl up in bed and just think, but he wasn’t sure that Bobby would be willing to leave his side. At least not for a while.

“Can we leave? Or am I detained?” Buck asked.

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Evan,” Athena said. “Why would you be detained?”

Buck wondered if that was going to be a thing, now; people calling him Evan. He didn’t mind that, it wasn’t like it was a completely different name that he’d never gone by, before. It was the name he’d been called all his life until a few years ago, even then, Maddie still called him that sometimes, sometimes Eddie called him that, as well. Why would Bobby want to continue calling him by the shortened version of the last name of the people who had kidnapped his son?

“I’m sure if we sat here for long enough they could find a reason to arrest me,” Buck half-joked.

Athena didn’t look very impressed, but Bobby snorted slightly so Buck counted that as a win.

“So, we can leave?” Buck asked.

“Not quite yet,” Detective Ransone walked back into the room. “You forgot your phone.”

The detective handed it back to him. Buck resisted the urge to check it right away and he tucked it into his pocket. He looked back up at the detective who was standing over him.

“Did you find anything helpful?” Buck asked.

“We did not,” Lou said. “I’ll let you know if there are any updates, but you’re free to go.”

“Thanks, man,” Buck stood up and his dad – his dad – handed him his crutches.

Lou patted him on the shoulder and left the room.

Chapter 11: Chapter Eleven - Part Two

Chapter Text

Bobby was standing in front of him, his face full of longing. The sound of the door shutting behind the detective echoed through the room. Buck stared back at his father as he watched the man drink him in. His hands were twitching at his sides like he was working to control himself.

Part of Buck wanted to run in the opposite direction. He wanted to leave before Bobby could leave him first, but his dad had sat there and promised him that he wouldn’t walk away. Bobby wasn’t one to break promises. Just a few days ago he said that they were family and family moves past mistakes, they don’t walk away because of them. Buck made a decision, standing there in front of his biological father, to believe him. He made a decision that scared him. He was going to put his heart on the line again, and he was going to let Bobby try to be his dad, because damn it, Buck wanted him to be his dad.

Buck let one of his crutches clatter to the floor and he hopped the last step between them, bringing his arm up to wrap around Bobby’s neck. His father’s arms immediately came up to crush the boy against his body. Buck let the other crutch fall to the ground as he clung to his dad letting him hold him up.

Bobby’s body shuddered and it took a moment for Buck to realize that he was crying. Tears fell against the side of Buck’s face and tightened his arms around Bobby. One of the hands that were braced against his back moved up to cup the back of his head, fingers threading through his hair.

“Oh, God,” Bobby sobbed, and he pressed teary kisses to the side of Buck’s head. “my baby,”

Buck felt torn between feeling all warm and fuzzy that his parent was being so affectionate and feeling indignant because clearly, he was no longer a baby. But then Bobby adjusted his grip again, holding Buck even tighter and made him feel so safe and secure and loved that he didn’t care that he’d called him a baby.

Bobby was still crying into his hair and Buck tightened his hold on him, digging his fingers into his dad’s shoulders. Buck pressed his face into Bobby’s neck and the hand that Bobby had on the back of Buck’s head slid down to the nape of his neck.

“I love you,” Bobby cried. “I love you so much, I’m so sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?” Buck pulled away from Bobby’s neck enough to be heard. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Bobby just shook his head and ducked his head down, holding Buck for a moment longer before he slowly started to let him go. Buck looked up into Bobby’s face as Athena rounded the table and picked up Buck’s crutches. Bobby’s face was red, his eyes were all swollen and still wet, and there was tension in the corners of his mouth, but there was also something different about him.

He looked lighter. He looked like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He supposed that having an answer to a twenty-four-year-long mystery would ease something in a person. Buck couldn’t imagine going through all the sh*t that Bobby had gone through. A missing kid, two others dead, and a dead wife. His father had to be the strongest man he’d ever known.

Buck wasn’t sure that he’d be able to go on living after all of that. He thought he would have given up a long time ago.

Athena helped Buck ease the crutches back under his arms and Bobby patted the side of his face gently, letting it rest there for a second and rubbing his thumb under his eye brushing away a tear that Buck hadn’t been aware was falling.

“Let’s go home, son,” Bobby said, voice breaking on the last word.

Buck wanted to respond, but the words got lodged in his throat. He simply nodded and followed as Athena led the way out of the interrogation room and through the station. Buck was taken aback – and nearly tripped – when all the officers stood up at their desks and clapped as they walked by. Bobby placed a hand on his back to steady him, holding him up as Buck regained his balance.

As they were going out the front door Buck looked at his stepmother who was holding the door open for him.

“Why did they clap?” he asked. “I didn’t do anything,”

Athena looked at Bobby sadly before answering. “When kids are missing as long as you have been, we usually find them dead. They were clapping because we’re all happy that you’ve been found alive and safe.”

“Oh,” Buck said as he followed her to the cars. Athena had her patrol car and Bobby had brought the captain’s truck.

“We need to stop by the station and switch out cars,” Bobby said as they drew closer.

“Cool, I want to say hi to the team,” Buck said, and he let Bobby help him down off the curb. “Bye, ‘Thena.”

“Bye, baby,” Athena said. She appeared to hesitate and then she followed them off the curb. She framed his face with her hands, pulling it down so that she could press a kiss to his forehead. “I’ll see you tonight.”

“See you tonight,” Buck repeated quietly.

She got into her cruiser and pulled out of the parking lot. Bobby opened the passenger door of the truck for Buck and took his crutches. Buck slid into the car as his father put the crutches in the back seat and got in.

“Did you tell them why you were leaving?” Buck asked as Bobby backed out of the parking space.

“I just said it was a family emergency,” Bobby answered. “I didn’t know the specifics of what was happening until I got to the station,”

“Can I ask you a question?” Buck asked.

“You can ask me as many questions as you want,” Bobby replied.

“You don’t usually like it when I ask a lot of questions,” Buck pointed out.

“That’s because you’re usually asking questions at inopportune times,” Bobby said. “What do you want to ask me?”

“I know that you said you were relieved, and I know that you love me, but,” Buck took a shaky breath. “Is there any part of you that’s disappointed? I mean, you and I have been through a lot of sh*t, you know? You’ve fired me before, I’ve sued you, I know for a while you thought I was just some dumbass kid and a punk. I’m sure this isn’t what you imagined I would be like when I grew up.”

Bobby’s hands tightened on the wheel and his jaw clenched. “There is not a single part of me that is the least bit disappointed to find out that you are my son.” He said firmly, his tone hard. “I love you and I know that we’ve hurt each other before, but we’ve gotten past that, Evan. Family hurts each other, that’s life. But we move on, we forgive each other, and we keep loving each other.”

“I just couldn’t bear it,” Buck said quietly. “to have you be as disappointed in me as they were,”

“Never,” Bobby swore. “Barring you becoming a serial killer, there is nothing you could ever do to make me disappointed in you. I’m sure I’ll occasionally disapprove of your actions, it wouldn’t be the first time, but I’ll never stop loving you. I have never stopped loving you.”

“I love you, too,” Buck said honestly. “I wish I’d grown up with you, I know that I would have been better off. I would have grown up knowing what it is to be loved.”

They pulled into the firehouse and Bobby put the car in park.

Bobby sighed. “If I had just taken you upstairs with me…”

“It’s not your fault,” Buck told him. “I don’t blame you.” Bobby just stared out the windshield, but it looked like he wasn’t really seeing anything. “Bob - dad, look at me,” Buck had never seen Bobby’s head turn so fast. He had tears in his wide eyes. “I don’t blame you. It isn’t your fault that they took me. I don’t blame you. Please, forgive yourself, because I forgive you.”

Bobby’s lower lip wobbled slightly as tears overflowed. Buck felt so bad for him. He’d been carrying around this burden for twenty-four years. Buck reached out and grasped his father’s forearm.

“I’m here, I’m okay.” He said quietly.

Bobby shook his hand off and reached out, gripping the back of Buck’s neck and pulling him closer. Buck went willingly and wrapped an arm around his father as Bobby pressed a long kiss to the side of Buck’s head.

“I love you, Evan,” Bobby murmured.

“Love you, too, old man.” Buck patted his shoulder. “Now, we should probably get out of the car before Chimney comes to investigate. If he found us like this he’d make jokes for weeks.”

Bobby chuckled and got out of the car. Buck undid his seatbelt and waited as Bobby grabbed his crutches and then came to open his door for him and help him out.

“Hey! It’s Buckaroo!” Chimney stood at the edge of the mezzanine and waved. Hen and Eddie came to stand on either side of him. “Does this have to do with the family emergency?”

“Diaz, what are you doing here?” Bobby asked. “You’re on leave.”

“I’m also bored,” Eddie told him petulantly. “Chris is hanging with Carla today,”

“Why don’t you all come down here since I can’t come up there?” Buck called back.

“Well, you can’t with that attitude,” Chimney said teasingly.

He, Hen, and Eddie descended the stairs and approached the duo. Chimney immediately wrapped his arms around Buck carefully. Buck hugged him back as best he could. Hen squeezed his shoulder and smiled at him, and Eddie playfully ruffled his hair, making Buck swat at him and everyone laugh.

“How are you feeling?” Hen asked, giving him that maternal look she always did.

“Restless,” Buck answered, making the team laugh. “You think I could get away with just cutting the cast off and calling it a day?”

“Absolutely not,” Bobby said firmly.

Eddie, however, pointed to the compartment where they kept the saw, gave Buck a thumbs up, and mouthed ‘later,’

Buck sent him a not-so-subtle thumbs up back to him and turned to see Bobby looking at him with a raised brow.

“So, is everyone okay?” Chimney asked Bobby. “You ran out of here like a bat out of hell.”

Bobby noticeably hesitated and Buck watched as his father struggled to decide whether or not he should tell the team what they’d discovered. Buck decided that he didn’t want to hide who he was from his family and answered Chimney instead.

“A detective came to the house and brought me back to the police station,” Buck told the team. He could see the concern on their faces. “He told me that the court reached out when they realized that there was no record of my adoption. So, I got asked a bunch of questions about the Buckleys and got a DNA test, and it turns out that I was kidnapped when I was five.”

Hen brought her hands up to cover her mouth. “Oh my God,” she said.

“So, um, I know it’s going to be really strange for a while going forward, and it will definitely be an adjustment, but ‘Buck’ is short for Buckley and that’s not who I am, so if you all wouldn’t mind calling me Evan, I’d actually prefer that.” He explained.

“But didn’t the Buckleys give you that name, too?” Eddie asked.

“No,” Evan shook his head. “I’m Evan Nash,”

“My son,” Bobby moved in closer to Evan.

The surprise on the team’s faces was almost comical. Tears came to Hen’s eyes, and she surged forward to hug Bobby.

“I’m so happy for you,” She said. “You found him,”

Eddie came forward to hug Evan. He held him tightly for a moment before he pulled back and gripped him by the tops of his arms.

“Are you okay?” He asked nearly inaudibly.

Evan nodded. “I have a dad that loves me,” he said quietly. “who says and acts like I’m wanted, and like I matter. You know how badly I wanted that from them.”

“Yeah, I do,” Eddie agreed. “I’m happy for you.” He laughed, then. “It feels weird to tell my best friend that I’m happy he found out he was kidnapped.”

Evan laughed loudly, drawing the attention of the rest of the team. “If that’s the most f*cked up thing you say to me then I think we’re good.”

Eddie slapped him on the shoulder with a grin. “You betcha,”

Evan looked over at Chimney. “If they haven’t already, they’ll be calling Maddie into the station soon, to answer questions.” He frowned. “I’ll call her later, but could you tell her I’m sorry? I’d spare her this if I could.”

“It’s not your fault her parents are psychopaths,” Chimney said incredulously. “I’ll pass on the message if you really want me to, but she’ll probably chew you out for apologizing.”

“Yeah, probably,” Evan laughed nervously. “still tell her though.”

Chimney nodded. “Are you okay?” He asked.

“I’m good,” Evan smiled.

Chimney stared at him for a moment. “I’m going to have to come up with new nicknames for you, now, damn it,” he put his hands on his hips. “Junior, Mini Cap, Little Nash,”

“Ooh, Mini Cap,” Bobby looked at Evan, pretending to be impressed by Chimney’s mediocre nicknames.

“Okay,” Evan stopped his friend. “Don’t get ahead of yourself.”

“I think those were some good ones,” Chimney said defensively.

“Your creativity knows no bounds,” Eddie said dryly.

“We should have a party,” Hen said. “A welcome back party.”

“I’ve been here for years,” Evan pointed out.

“But no one knew that,” Hen argued. “So, you get a party and you’re going to like it.”

Evan opened his mouth to make another retort when his father put a hand on his shoulder.

“We’ll plan something,” Bobby promised. “For now, I just want to get him back home and off his leg. We just found out about this, we’re going to take a breath, adjust accordingly, and then we can all celebrate.”

“I guess I could use an excuse to eat some cake,” Evan shrugged.

The team agreed, laughing.

“Alright, guys,” Bobby said, squeezing Evan’s shoulder. “I’m going to get him home. We’ll see you later.”

Hena and Chimney bid them goodbye, heading back up to the mezzanine. Eddie stayed behind though.

“Are we still on for dinner tonight?” He asked.

“Yes,” Bobby answered. “We’ll see you, then. Anything specific you want me to make?”

“As long as you’re making it, I don’t care.” Eddie grinned. “You know whatever you make is gonna be good,”

Bobby chuckled. “Yeah, I’m going to cook,”

Eddie cheered and pumped his fist before waving with a grin and jogging back upstairs. Bobby patted Evan on the shoulder and turned to walk out of the firehouse.

Evan followed Bobby outside to the parking lot and let him help him into his truck. The drive home wasn’t long, but about halfway through it, Bobby turned to him at a red light with a contemplative look on his face.

Evan waited patiently for a second, thinking that Bobby would say something. When he didn’t, he raised a brow in question.

“What?”

Bobby turned to look back out at the road. A frown tugged at his lips.

“Are you – are you still comfortable staying with us?” Bobby asked. “I know that Eddie offered you a room as well, and you said back at the station that you considered calling him. If you don’t feel comfortable, I mean – we can work something out.”

“Do you want me to go stay with Eddie?” Evan asked.

Bobby turned into the driveway and threw an incredulous look in Evan’s direction.

“Of course not, but I don’t want you to feel obligated to stay with us if you don’t want to.”

“I want to stay with you,” Evan said simply.

Bobby relaxed and let out a breath, nodding. “Okay,”

“Have I done something to make you think I’m not comfortable with you?” Evan asked, worrying that he’d somehow offended Bobby before they’d even made it back to the house. It’d be a new record.

“No,” Bobby parked the truck and unbuckled his seatbelt, taking the keys out of the ignition. “I think I’m just overthinking and worrying. There isn’t a handbook for taking care of your adult son who was kidnapped and missing for twenty-four years. I’m terrified of coming on too strong or doing something to push you away. I can’t lose you a second time, Evan.” Bobby took a shaky breath. “I couldn’t survive it.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Evan said as reassuringly as he could. “I know that we lost a lot of time together, but we’re here now. You’re my dad and that doesn’t make me uncomfortable. I’m happy about this. I know I’ve told you some things about growing up with the Buckleys, but you have no real idea about what it was like. I was invisible. I didn’t matter unless I was sick or hurt, and even then I was an inconvenience. Maddie is the only person who ever made me feel like I was worth loving until I joined the 118. And even she left me. I’m used to being left, I’m used to feeling like I don’t matter, or I’m too much work. Or I’m exhausting.”

He could see the moment when Bobby remembered the incident in the grocery store. Bobby’s eyes closed in something akin to shame, even though he wasn’t the one who said it, he hadn’t stood up for him either.

“We’ve had our arguments, we’ve had our differences,” Evan admitted. “But there hasn’t been even a second where I stopped believing that you cared about me. That means more than you know.”

“There’s nothing that could ever make me stop loving you,” Bobby said firmly. He got out of the truck and rounded it. Evan watched as he pulled the passenger side door open and looked up at him. “I know that we’ve got a long road ahead of us. There’s stuff we need to work out, legal stuff we’ve got to handle, and it’s probably going to take us some time to get used to us being…” He hesitated and gestured between them.

“Father and son,” Evan finished for him.

“I don’t expect you to call me dad,” Bobby blurted out. It was so strange to see him as nervous as he was. “I don’t want you to feel pressured. But if you ever want to, you can. I am your dad.”

“I will,” Evan promised. “It will just take some time to get used to it. But I don’t want to pretend like this isn’t happening or that everything is normal. I want to… embrace the change. I am Evan Nash and I’m going to be Evan Nash.”

“Don’t push yourself,” Bobby looked concerned as he pulled the crutches out of the backseat and leaned them against the truck. He reached for Evan and helped him to slide out of the truck. He supported him as he stood on one foot and handed him the crutches. “And, Evan, I don’t want you changing yourself because you think you have to be this… this idea of who were supposed to be. I want you exactly the way that you are. You’re kind, smart, and funny, you care about people, you’re thoughtful, you’re brave; you’re an amazing person and I couldn’t be prouder of how you turned out. I love you exactly the way you are.”

“You don’t know everything about me,” Evan said.

“What do you think I’m going to reject you for?” Bobby asked in an almost exasperated manner. “You’re my son. You’re a part of me, Evan. There’s nothing that will make me turn you away.”

“You’ve gotta remember,” Evan said. “the way I grew up, just being someone’s kid doesn’t mean much. Parents do reject their children. It’s not exactly an irrational fear.”

“Not me,” Bobby shook his head in determination. “Go ahead,” he gestured to Evan. “try and scare me off.”

Evan took a shuddering breath and shook his head.

Bobby held his ground. “You’re stuck with me, kid. Whatever you’re afraid of saying, it’s not going to drive me away.”

“I’m bisexual,” he said. “and they didn’t like that. There was screaming and throwing things.”

Bobby looked him dead in the eyes. “I love you for exactly who you are. I don’t care if you come home with a girlfriend or a boyfriend. The only thing I care about is whether or not your partner treats you with love and respect.”

“You’re not mad?” Evan asked in a small voice.

“Buddy, why would I be mad?” Bobby sounded genuinely confused. “Do you really think I care about that? Hen and Karen are some of my closest friends.”

“I don’t think you’re hom*ophobic,” Evan was quick to explain. “I’ve just heard that it can be different when it’s your own kid,”

“I don’t care who you fall in love with,” Bobby placed a hand on the side of Evan’s face. “As long as you’re happy, healthy, and safe, that is all that matters. Daughter-in-law, son-in-law, it doesn’t matter. They will be welcome in our family.”

Evan looked into Bobby’s eyes, and he could tell that his father was telling the truth. There was no hesitance, no disgust, and no judgment. He really did love Evan for exactly who he was. He moved the crutches to one hand and leaned forward precariously, extending one arm to wrap it around Bobby.

Bobby immediately wrapped his arms around Evan and held him close. Evan pressed his forehead against Bobby’s shoulder. Bobby rubbed his back comfortingly and hugged him a little tighter.

“I’ve got you, kid,” he murmured and turned slightly to press a kiss to the side of his head. “It’s okay.”

Evan tightened his hold on Bobby and let a few tears fall. Bobby must have felt them soak through his shirt because he brought one of his hands up from Evan’s back to cup the back of his head. He angled his head closer to the boy’s and made soothing noises whilst he rubbed his back.

“What’s wrong?” He asked gently.

Evan sniffed and turned his head so that he was facing Bobby’s neck. He let go with one arm and brought his hand up to wipe his eyes. He felt like he was healing and breaking at the same time. Bobby was saying everything he’d ever wanted to hear from the Buckleys growing up and it was bittersweet that he was hearing all of that, now. The arms around him made him feel so safe, and so loved. There were very few people who made him feel that way. Bobby, Athena, Maddie, and Eddie were pretty much it.

“I’m just really glad that you’re my dad,” Evan murmured. “I just need to get used to hearing all the things I’ve ever wanted to hear,”

Bobby squeezed him tighter and then let him go. Evan moved his crutch back under his arm and leaned back out of Bobby’s space. Bobby reached out, a tender look on his face, and rubbed his thumbs under Evan’s eyes.

“I know you went through so much with those people,” Bobby said. “And I can’t undo what they did to you, the abuse and the trauma, but I will spend the rest of my life trying to prove to you that you matter and that you’re worth loving.”

“I’m not expecting you to fix me,” Evan said. “I just want a family.”

“You have one,” Bobby promised. “Me, Athena, May, Harry, we’re your legal family. But you also have Maddie, even if you aren’t biologically related to her, that doesn’t mean that she isn’t your sister. Chimney, and Jee-Yun, they’re your family. Hen, Karen, and Denny. Eddie and Christopher. We’re all your family, Evan.”

Evan nodded. “Yeah, you are.” He took a breath and looked at the house. “Can we go inside? My arms are starting to hurt.”

“Yeah,” Bobby led the way inside and helped Evan to his bedroom. Evan tried not to get emotional again as his father helped him recline against pillows propped against the headboard and tucked the plush firetruck under his leg to elevate it. He watched through teary eyes as his dad fluttered around the room anxiously, making sure that Evan had everything he needed.

He swept out of the room after a few moments with a promise to be right back. He came back pretty quickly, holding a large box. He placed it at the end of the bed and sat beside Evan.

“What’s that?” Evan asked.

“This is the stuff I have left of our family,” Bobby answered. He reached forward and opened the box. “I thought you might want to see.”

“Yeah,” Evan nodded. “I’d love to.”

His father reached into the box and pulled out a manilla envelope. He handed it to Evan who turned it over and saw his name written on it.

Evan Nash

“That’s your birth certificate, social security card, vaccination records, and passport,” Bobby said. “I figured you should have those,”

“Yeah, thanks,” Evan placed them in the drawer of his nightstand.

Bobby pulled out a photo album, next. He settled against the headboard next to Evan and flipped it open before handing it to his son. Evan took the album with reverent hands. He stared at the first picture, one of a young Bobby and a blonde girl that Evan supposed was his mother. He stared at her face and tried to commit it to memory. He tried to force himself to remember something about her.

She was beautiful.

“I have her eyes,” Evan murmured. “She was so beautiful.”

“You look like her,” Bobby murmured. “Her eyes, her complexion, her nose. I don’t feel like you got much from me,”

“Eddie thought we were related for a long time after he joined,” Evan revealed. “Because I look like you and because of the way that we acted around each other,”

Bobby seemed to be pleased by that anecdote. Evan turned the pages of the photo album, flipping through pictures that were taken over the course of his parents’ time dating, and then their engagement. He stopped and stared at a picture from their wedding. They looked so happy.

“When was this?” Evan asked. “When did you get married?”

“April third, 1989,” Bobby answered. “We were twenty, but we’d been together since we were seventeen.”

“You were high school sweethearts?” Evan asked with a smile.

“Yeah,” Bobby smiled sadly, looking at the photo. “We were friends for a long time before I finally got the guts to ask her out. She was a little intimidating. She was funny, and kind, and everyone loved her. I couldn’t believe that she wanted to be friends with me, and then I couldn’t believe that she said yes when I asked her out.”

“That’s sweet,” Evan murmured.

He kept flipping through the pictures until he came across the first one of his mother with her hands on her stomach, standing sideways so that the bulge was on display.

“That’s.. that’s me that she’s pregnant with, then?” Evan asked gesturing to the picture.

“Yeah, it is,” Bobby said, and he reached out and turned the page. There was a picture of his parents together, both of their hands on Marcy’s baby bump. “We were ecstatic. We wanted to be parents so badly. We loved you so much and you weren’t even born yet. I would read to you to try and calm you down because you kicked like crazy and your mom would say you were bruising her insides. She sang to you, usually Elton John songs.”

“I guess that explains why I like Elton John,” Evan murmured, and he turned the page. The next picture was a picture of Bobby holding a squalling newborn. “I don’t look too happy there. You do, though.”

“Best day of my life,” Bobby said quietly. “That and the days your brother and sister were born. And today, too.”

“We spent most of the day in an interrogation room,” Evan said as he turned the page again. The next picture was his mother holding him in a hospital bed.

“Yeah, but I got my son back,” Bobby said. “After twenty-four long years and being half convinced someone killed you and buried you in the woods or something, I find out the little punk I let myself love four years ago is my kid. You know that I blame myself for your mom and your siblings dying,” Evan nodded. “I let you out of my sight for…maybe ten minutes and you were gone. After the police told us that we ought to start preparing ourselves for the eventuality that they would find your body, I started carrying around the guilt of being the man who had killed his own son. Seventeen years later, I became the man who killed his wife and all three of his children.”

“That’s not true,” Evan said. “You didn’t kill any of us,”

“Guilt is a funny thing,” Bobby said. “It’s all about perception. Remember your first loss? The man on the rollercoaster?”

“Yeah,” Evan was surprised that Bobby remembered him.

“It wasn’t your fault that he wouldn’t take your hand, but it tore you up for weeks afterward. You blamed yourself.” Bobby pointed out. “Didn’t you go to his funeral, too?”

“Yeah, I did,” Evan nodded.

He flicked absentmindedly through the pictures in the album. There were a lot of baby pictures and some family pictures. Bobby pointed out his grandparents and his uncle, some of their old friends from Minnesota. There was even a picture of Bobby’s Captain at the time holding Evan as a toddler in the Fire Engine. The pictures of him lasted up until the first grade and the next picture was a hospital picture of the day Robert Junior was born, six years after Evan was kidnapped.

Evan finally landed on a page that had a picture of Robert and Brook hugging each other, smiling. He just stared at them and tried to commit their faces to memory like he had with their mother.

“Do you think their hair would’ve turned brown like mine did?” Evan asked Bobby. It was a strange question to ask, he knew. Maybe insensitive as well, but he couldn’t help thinking about how he’d been blonde as a child like them, but as he grew older his hair grew darker.

To his credit, Bobby laughed a little and let himself smile. “Maybe,”

Evan closed the photo album and handed it back to his father. Bobby hesitated and then glanced over at the bookcase in the corner of the room.

“Why don’t we keep it over there?” He suggested. Bobby stood up and placed the photo album on one of the shelves. “I know you’ll eventually go back to your own apartment, but I figure this is a nice, neutral place to keep it. Your room in my house.” He shrugged.

“Works for me,” Evan nodded.

Bobby reached into the box and pulled out a stuffed raccoon. He held it in his hands and looked at it fondly before he handed it to Evan. Evan took the toy in his hands; it was soft to the touch. He looked down at it and found that it looked and felt slightly familiar.

“This was mine?” Evan asked.

“It was your favorite,” Bobby confirmed. “You carried it everywhere; it got left in the truck that night.”

Evan kept staring down at the toy. He rubbed a thumb over its face in a reverent manner.

“The only other thing I wanted to specifically show you was this,” Bobby pulled out a small box. He handed it over to Evan who set the raccoon to the side. He took the proffered box and took the lid off it. Inside were three rings.

“Your mother and I’s wedding rings, and her engagement ring,” Bobby explained. “I thought you might like to have them.”

Evan swallowed down a sudden influx of emotions. “Yeah, I really would, thank you.”

He reached into the box and gripped his mother’s engagement ring between his thumb and forefinger. He examined it for a moment before looking at the other two rings. The engagement ring was a nice, traditional diamond ring. Her wedding band was a plain, dainty gold band. His father’s ring was a thicker gold band.

Bobby patted him on the shoulder. “I’ll leave the box so you can look through the rest. Those are yours to keep.” He gestured to the toy and the rings. “We can go to my storage unit when you’re healed up and look through the rest of your stuff.”

Evan looked up at his dad in surprise. “You kept my stuff?”

Bobby looked at him incredulously. “Of course I did,”

Evan looked over at the box and then back at Bobby. “How many storage units do you have, if you keep everything?”

Bobby laughed, but it had an edge to it. “I only kept a few things of your mom’s and your siblings, but I kept most of your stuff,” Bobby explained after Evan gave him a questioning look. “Your mom, brother, and sister are dead. They weren’t coming back for their stuff. I kept some of their stuff. You weren’t dead, not officially. I held on to your stuff because I hoped that you’d come home one day.”

“Thanks,” Evan said honestly. “I’m excited to eventually get to look through that stuff. It means a lot that you kept it.”

“Of course, buddy,” Bobby stood up and rounded the bed. He placed the T.V. remote and Evan’s phone within reach, as well as the crutches. He cupped the back of Evan’s head and pulled him in close enough to press a kiss to his forehead. “I love you, let me know if you need anything, okay?”

Evan nodded as his dad let go of him. “Love you too,”

Bobby walked out of the room, leaving the door open behind him. Evan turned the T.V. on for background noise and busied himself by putting the rings in the drawer of his nightstand by the paperwork and placing the stuffed raccoon on top of the nightstand, next to the lamp, and then digging through the rest of the box.

He was so invested in looking through everything that he jumped out of his skin when he felt a hand brush his back. He looked behind him to see Chimney standing there, Jee-Yun in his arms.

“Hey, kid, didn’t mean to scare you,” Chimney said apologetically. “Cap sent me to come get you, but I figured we could talk, too,”

Chimney all but shoved Jee-Yun into Evan’s arms and he rounded the bed to sit in the desk chair, rolling it forward until he was sitting right at the edge of the bed.

“You’re here for dinner?” Evan asked.

“Yeah, your sister is working so I figured we’d crash family dinner,” Chimney smirked. “Because we are still family. You know that right?”

Evan looked down at Jee-Yun who was playing with the strings of his hoodie.

“We’re not biologically related,” he murmured.

“She’s still your niece, Maddie is still your sister, and you’re still my little brother,” Chimney said firmly. “Nothing has changed.”

“It feels like things have changed,” Evan said, trying not to let his tone change and upset the baby.

“Well, of course, it does,” Chimney said in an understanding tone. “Of course, it feels like things have changed because you’re finding out things about yourself and your past that weren’t what you thought they were. Your name, your birthday, your parents, it’s all different than you thought it was. But, Evan, just because the past is different, it doesn’t mean that things right now are different. This is all for the better, you never have to see Phillip and Margaret again, you get to call Bobby and Athena your parents and it’ll be true, Maddie is still your sister, Jee is still your niece, you still have this whole family around you. No one is leaving because your last name is different than you thought it was.”

“You make it sound like my whole internal conflict is so stupid,” Evan laughed a bit self-deprecatingly.

“It’s not stupid,” Chimney said firmly. “It’s just something you need to work through.”

“Yeah,” Evan nodded. “I’m going to work on that,”

“Good,” Chimney gently clapped him on the shoulder. “In the meantime, I brought someone with me that I think you’re going to like, but I need to know something first,”

“Oh, no,” Evan groaned.

“No, it’s not bad, it’s not bad,” Chimney waved his hands in what he must have thought was a calming gesture. “It’s just.. listen, I’m a matchmaker, okay?”

“I found out I was kidnapped, so you brought me some random girl?” Evan asked incredulously.

“Well, that’s the thing, it’s not a girl,” Chimney pressed his hands together like he was praying. “I was wondering if you might be into guys? I brought a guy that used to work with Hen, Bobby, and me at the 118. He transferred to the 217 and you took his spot with us. He’s a pilot, and he’s actually the one that life-flighted you to Cedar.”

“I’m bisexual,” Evan nodded slowly. “So, I find out I was kidnapped, and you bring me the pilot that life-flighted me?”

Chimney hesitated. “Yes?”

“Does he know you’re trying to set us up?” Evan asked.

“Oh, yeah,” Chimney nodded enthusiastically. “I told him all about you. He sounded interested.”

“Chimney!” Evan said in a scolding tone. “Why would you do that?”

“He’s perfect for you!” Chimney hissed quietly, glancing at the open door. “He’s really great, Evan, just talk to him, okay?”

“Dude,” Evan bounced Jee-Yun when she smacked him in the face.

“Hey, did Hen ever tell you that I’m the one that set her and Karen up?” Chimney pointed at him, rising from his chair. “Because I did. At least this time I didn’t send you to a restaurant thinking you were going on a blind date and Tommy didn’t know anything about it at all.”

“You did that to Hen and Karen?” Evan asked. He couldn’t believe they’d managed to get together if that’s how they met.

“Yeah, worked out great, huh?” Chimney looked proud as he grabbed Evan’s crutches. “Trade me. This time, I just brought Tommy to you on a silver platter. And you both know what’s happening.”

“And he just went with it?” Evan asked disbelievingly.

“Yeah,” Chimney nodded. “He’s excited to meet you. I really talked you up. Told him that you’re much more attractive when you’re not dying,”

Evan passed him Jee-Yun and snatched the crutches out of his hands. “You need to be stopped.”

“Or I need to be given a medal.” Chimney countered. “Mark my words, you’re going to marry that man.”

Chapter 12: Chapter Twelve

Chapter Text

Chimney left Evan at the bottom of the stairs, pawned Jee-Yun off on Athena, and grabbed a man by the bicep to pull him in Evan’s direction.

The man was taller than him and had more muscle mass. His hair was on the short side, and he had a few days’ worth of stubble on his cheeks. When they got closer, Evan could see that his eyes were a nice shade of blue and he had a cleft chin.

‘Oh my, God,’ Evan thought. ‘He’s f*cking gorgeous,’

For a split second, he thought he wouldn’t mind marrying the guy, but he forced that thought from his mind as Chimney and the pilot stopped in front of him.

“Evan, meet Tommy Kinard. Tommy, meet Evan Nash.” Chimney introduced. “Tommy’s the hero that flew you to Cedar Sinai after they found your ass on Catalina Island,”

“Oh, no,” Tommy held his hands up. “It’s not like I found you or anything. I did my best, but I’m sorry that I couldn’t do more,”

Evan shrugged as Eddie came to join the group and gave Evan a careful hug. “Oh, please, that’s not your fault,” Evan assured him. “I just don’t like making things easy for people,”

“I’ve never heard anything so honest come out of your mouth,” Chimney told Evan, the smile on his face contradicting his teasing words.

Evan rubbed his chest, faking pain. “Wow, that one hurt,” he pretended to sniffle. “I see how it is,”

“You made him cry!” Eddie gasped dramatically.

Chimney, playing along, surged forward, grabbed Evan by the face, and planted a sloppy kiss on his cheek. Before the man had even pulled away, Evan was pretending to retch. Chimney backed up and rolled his eyes.

“Oh, f*ck off,” he waved a hand. “you know you liked it.”

“Oh, God,” Evan groaned dramatically, almost doubling over. Tommy’s hands shot out like he was going to try and catch him if he fell.

“Evan?” His father’s voice called across the open room, sounding worried.

“I’ve got Chimney on me!” Evan groaned.

“Hold still!” Eddie cried, dramatically dropping to his knees in front of him. He used his sleeve to wipe the saliva off Evan’s cheek. “Okay, you’re good. I don’t think we need to take you to the hospital, but we had better disinfect your face. Who knows what kind of diseases he might have,”

Evan straightened up slightly and saw Bobby standing next to Chimney now, hands on his hips, a reluctantly amused look on his face.

“You think I might need to get tested?” Buck asked, looking at his best friend.

“I think it’s best to be safe,” Eddie nodded solemnly as he stood up.

“You guys are assholes,” Chimney shoved Eddie who stumbled back laughing.

Evan grinned at the man which only served to aggravate him further. Chimney stalked over to the dining table and Bobby followed after him, laughing.

Evan looked over at Tommy, seeing that he’d dropped his hands back to his sides. He was laughing along with Evan and Eddie, and Evan’s eyes focused in on his smile. It brightened up his entire face and made his eyes shine. He couldn’t pull his eyes away from him.

“So, you used to work with him, then?” Eddie asked.

“Yeah, I was already working at the 118 when Howie joined as a probie,” Tommy nodded. “I left right before Evan joined.”

“What made you want to be a pilot?” Eddie asked, carrying the conversation while Evan just stared at the guy.

“I was actually a pilot in the army,” Tommy explained.

“Oh, nice, I was in the army as a medic,” Eddie smiled as he shoved his hands into his pockets. “Evan, you were a SEAL, right?”

Evan tore his eyes away from Tommy with some difficulty and focused on Eddie who looked like he was holding back a laugh.

“For three years, yeah,” Evan nodded.

“Oh, wow,” Tommy sounded impressed. Evan looked back over at him. He looked impressed, too. “SEALS are badass, did you do a lot of work out of the country?”

“Yeah,” Evan scratched his nose, a little uncomfortable. “I can’t say much, though, most everything is classified.”

“Why’d you quit?” Eddie asked. “I didn’t realize you were with the SEALS for so long, you always made it sound like it was a few months.”

“I don’t talk about that,” Evan said firmly. “It was really… I was honorably discharged. They said the trauma… it was just time for me to move on.”

He fought against the memories that threatened to resurface. The screams of his friends, the hot blood that had splattered against his skin, the lifeless eyes staring back at him.

Tommy and Eddie looked at him with concern on their faces.

“I’m sorry, man,” Eddie said quietly. “I didn’t mean to bring up bad memories,”

“It’s not your fault. I don’t hide the fact that I was a SEAL, I just don’t like to talk about it, either.” He looked over at Tommy. “Now ask me about my time in Peru and I’ll talk your ear off,”

“Or just ask him what he knows about animals,” Eddie muttered.

“Another fascinating subject!” Evan grinned. “Did you know that hummingbirds are the only birds that can fly backward?”

Tommy grinned, laughing a little. “I did not know that.”

“You learn something new every day,” Evan looked at Eddie pointedly.

“Hey, just because the pilot is charmed by your endless supply of random facts, it doesn’t mean that I want to keep hearing them,” Eddie said, holding his hands up.

“I’m underappreciated around here.” Evan declared. “You all could learn so much from me if you weren’t so endlessly annoyed by my wealth of knowledge,”

“You’re like a Wikipedia page,” Eddie told him.

“What’s wrong with that?” Evan asked, laughing.

“Nothing,” Tommy cut in. “You know anything about helicopters?”

“No, but I can learn,” Evan told him seriously.

“He’s going to be researching all night long, now,” Eddie warned Tommy. “Don’t give him your number, he’ll text you everything he learns,”

“Or I could teach you,” Tommy offered. “Once you get the cast off, I could give you lessons.”

“I guess I’ve jumped out of enough helicopters that I ought to learn to fly one, too,” Evan said. “Sounds really cool, I’d love that,”

Eddie looked ready to say something else, but Christopher called for him. Eddie hurried over to the patio where Athena was with all the kids. That left Evan and Tommy alone.

“How are you feeling?” Tommy asked. “You looked like death when we picked you up from the hospital on the island.”

“Thanks for that, by the way,” Evan said. “The ride to the hospital, I mean. Sorry, I wasn’t conscious for it,”

The joke startled a laugh out of the pilot. “I guess it’s a good thing I’m going to teach you to fly. You can make it up to me,” he smiled. “But really, how are you?”

“Bored and restless,” Evan said honestly. “I don’t really like to sit still, and I definitely don’t like feeling useless. I would much rather be working, but Bobby says I can’t just cut the cast off.”

“How much longer do you have with the cast?” Tommy gestured to Evan’s leg.

“Follow-up is in just over two weeks, they said they should be able to take it off then,”

“Not that much longer, then,” Tommy said brightly.

“Yeah, just got to survive ‘til then,” Evan sighed.

“We’ll have our lesson as soon as it’s off,” Tommy promised. “Get you out of the house. I can reserve a chopper for the day after your appointment?”

“That sounds great,” Evan agreed. “It’s something to look forward to. I just have to make it until the cast is off, and then I get to see you again,”

Tommy’s eyebrows rose in surprise. He looked a little hopeful and Evan didn’t think that he imagined the way Tommy’s eyes briefly dropped to look at his lips before darting back up to maintain eye contact.

“Yeah?” The pilot asked.

“Yeah,” Evan smiled nervously.

A slow smile stretched across Tommy’s face. “Well, maybe I could drop by before then?” he suggested. “I’d hate to wait so long to see you again.”

“I’d like that,” Evan agreed. “Besides, I should probably get to know you before I get into a helicopter with you. Stranger danger and all that.”

Tommy laughed at Evan’s corny joke and Evan felt smitten. “You know, that’s probably wise,” Tommy chuckled.

“I can give you my number,” Evan offered. “I’ll try to keep the fun-fact texts to a minimum, but you can’t avoid them entirely, I’m afraid.”

Tommy pulled his phone out of his pocket and gave Evan a look that the younger man couldn’t quite decipher.

“Text me as many fun facts as you want,” Tommy told him. “I think they’re interesting.”

Evan hated that Chimney was right. Tommy was perfect.

“Yeah, okay,” Evan said, sounding a bit breathless which only made Tommy smile wider.

Tommy had Evan recite his phone number as he entered it into his phone and then he sent him a text so that Evan had his number as well.

“Do you have someone staying with you while your parents and your team are working?” Tommy asked.

“It depends. Hen’s wife and son were supposed to come to hang out with me today, but a detective came and dragged me to the police station so that didn’t happen.” Evan said. “My sister is a dispatcher, but she’s also got her daughter, so I don’t know how often she’ll be over.”

“Well, if no one is with you, and I’m not on shift, I can come hang out with you,” Tommy offered.

“I might take you up on that,” Evan smiled as Bobby came back over to join them.

“Hey, guys,” Bobby put a hand on Evan’s shoulder. “dinner is ready, you wanna come sit, kiddo?”

“Hey, Dad,” Evan looked up at him. “Tommy’s going to teach me to fly once I get my cast off.”

“Oh, really?” Bobby raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah,” Tommy nodded and shoved his hands in his pockets, suddenly looking nervous. “I think it’d be good for him to get certified; you know? Flying is a great skill to have in your back pocket,”

“I agree,” Bobby said, looking at Tommy with an expression like he’d just solved some sort of puzzle. “You guys have fun with that.” He turned to Evan. “Did Tommy tell you about the time he tried to catch a chicken?”

“Oh, come on,” Tommy looked at Bobby, betrayed.

“He did not,” Evan said.

“It’s a good story,” Bobby said, squeezing Evan’s shoulder. “You need help getting to the table?”

“I’ve got it,” Evan assured him.

Bobby patted his shoulder and headed back toward the table. Evan followed behind him and Tommy tailed him.

Evan ended up sitting across from Eddie and Chris, with Tommy and Chimney on either side of him. Chris kept spouting off facts that he’d learned at school that he thought – correctly – that Evan would like.

Eddie gave him a pointed look as he spooned food onto his son’s plate. “You see what you’ve done?” Eddie asked, gesturing to Christopher. “He’s mini-you!”

“That’s what you get for letting me take him to the zoo,” Evan shrugged unapologetically. “And if I recall correctly, you’re the one that suggested the zoo,”

“Yeah, because the last time you took him to the pier,” Eddie said. “Stay inland. That’s my only requirement. Do whatever else you want, I trust you, let’s just not have a repeat of the pier,”

“What’s wrong with the pier?” Tommy asked.

“Nothing, so long as there’s not a tsunami,” Evan muttered.

Tommy gave him a questioning look that, when Evan didn’t elaborate, he turned on Eddie and Chimney.

“Evan and Chris got caught in the tsunami,” Eddie said quietly. “They were at the pier when it hit,”

“Buck saved me!” Christopher said proudly. “And lots of other people. He helped us all get on top of a firetruck!”

“I was on medical leave at the time, so apparently Eddie thought I was the best choice for a babysitter,” Evan added.

“Only you would get blown up and caught in a tsunami within the span of a few months,” Chimney said.

“Oh my, God,” Tommy looked at Evan in shock. “On the news, that was you? Pinned under the ladder truck?”

“Yeah, that was me,” Evan sighed.

“You just can’t catch a break, can you?” Tommy sounded sympathetic.

“Sure doesn’t seem like it, does it?” Evan picked up his fork and began to eat.

Tommy’s arm kept brushing against his and it sent sparks racing across Evan’s skin. His blood was singing with the possibilities that had suddenly opened up.

It was more than just attraction. There was just something about Tommy that drew Evan in. He had this energy about him that was almost intoxicating. Even as he carried on a conversation with Christopher, Eddie, Chimney, and his stepsiblings, he was thinking about Tommy.

Tommy laughing as Evan and Eddie messed with Chimney. His hands surging forward to catch him if necessary. His radiant smile and bright blue eyes. The hopeful look in his eyes when he’d realized that Evan was flirting with him. The sudden nervousness when Evan’s father came to stand with them.

Evan wanted more of that. He wanted to know what it felt like to have those strong arms wrapped around him. He wanted to make him laugh more. He wanted to be the reason that smile stretched across Tommy’s face. He wanted to feel those lips pressed against his own.

He wanted more.

Tommy’s shoulder brushed against Evan’s again and Evan turned to look at him. Tommy looked back at Evan and his lips quirked. It looked like he was trying to suppress a smile.

“Hey, Evan,” Chimney said. “I’ve got Thursday off, and Mrs. Lee is watching Jee-Yun; I thought maybe I’d come to entertain you. We could play some Mario Kart. Make it a team reunion, maybe. I can ask Hen. Eddie, you in?”

“Sure, Carla’s taking Chris to the aquarium, so I’ll be free.” Eddie agreed.

“That sounds great,” Evan agreed. He turned to Tommy. “Do you want to join?”

Tommy perked up slightly. “Yeah, I’m not working,” he agreed.

“Sweet!” Chimney cheered. “I’m going to destroy all of you!”

“Game on, man, game on,” Evan said as he shoveled another forkful of baked mac and cheese into his mouth.

“You’re going down,” Eddie agreed.

***

“So, what’s going on, Bobby?” Michael asked as he and David settled on the patio and Bobby handed them their drinks. “You said it was important.”

“I know that Athena and I talked to you guys about adopting Buck,” Bobby hated referring to Evan by his old nickname, now knowing that it tied his son, his little boy, to his kidnappers. But, he knew that it was the only name Michael and David knew him by. “And you guys were so supportive, we really appreciated it.”

“You’re not adopting him anymore?” David asked, looking confused.

“I told you guys about my son, Evan, right?” Bobby asked. They nodded. “When the Courts looked into Buck’s initial adoption, they found that it didn’t exist. There was no record of an adoption. They contacted the police, and a detective came to get him and took him to the station where they did a DNA Test. Long story short, he’s my son. He has asked to exclusively go by Evan, now, so if you guys wouldn’t mind..”

Michael leaned forward in his seat, a big grin on his face. “You found your son?”

Bobby couldn’t hold in his smile. A large grin stretched across his face. “I found my son,” he said, choking up a little. “I found him.”

“And he’s alive!” Michael cheered as he stood up and pulled Bobby up too. He wrapped his arms firmly around the fire captain and gave him a bone-crushing hug. “Your son is alive, and he’s safe, and he’s living under your roof again.”

“He’s alive,” Bobby whimpered a little.

He had never felt relief like this before. It was like he’d never realized just how weighed down he’d been for the last twenty-four years. Of course, he knew that he’d been grieving, he knew that he’d been missing a piece of himself, and he knew that he’d been holding his breath for the better part of three decades. He just hadn’t realized how numb he’d been, because he had experienced happiness since he’d lost his son, but it felt like he was finally seeing in color again after only seeing in shades of grey for so long.

“He’s alive,” Bobby sobbed, and he felt another hand land on his shoulder. David had gotten up and come to help comfort him. “He’s alive,”

“I am so happy for you, Bobby,” Michael told him, voice wavering with emotion. “That boy loves you so much, you guys are going to be just fine,”

Bobby nodded against his friend’s shoulder. “Yeah,” he said. “he’ll be okay.”

***

“Woah, woah, woah,” TK said, holding a hand up as he walked through his firehouse. “Slow down, you said you were kidnapped?”

“Who’s that?” Evan could hear someone ask his friend, but TK ignored them.

“Yeah, apparently when I was five, almost six, I was taken from a firehouse in Minnesota where my dad worked.”

“And your dad is your captain?” TK asked.

“Yeah,” Evan nodded. “Yeah, he is,”

“Holy sh*t, man,” TK ran a hand through his hair. “that’s crazy. Are you okay?”

“Who is that?” The same person asked, insistent.

“I’m alright, who’s that?” Evan asked. TK rolled his eyes and held the phone out further so that Evan could see a tall woman standing beside his friend. “Hello,”

“This is my partner, Nancy,” TK introduced. “Nancy, meet my friend Evan.”

“Hi, Evan,” Nancy waved.

“Who’s Evan?” a familiar firefighter came up behind them.

“Judd, right?” Evan asked. “Hi, we met last year when I came to help with the wildfires. Evan Buckley from the 118 in L.A.”

“Oh, yeah,” Judd pointed at the phone. “You and TK tried to steal the firetruck by yourselves.”

“Yeah, that’s me,” Evan said.

“Okay, guys, we’re in the middle of a conversation,” TK walked away from them. “You sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine,” Evan told him. “Actually, my sister’s boyfriend is setting me up with this… drop dead gorgeous guy.”

“Aren’t you on crutches?” TK asked, amused.

“Yeah, but he’s a pilot for LAFD Air Operations, and he said once my cast is off he wants to take me up in a helicopter,” Evan said.

“That’s so hot,” TK admitted.

“Right?” Evan chuckled.

“Alright, tell me more about the drop-dead gorgeous pilot,” TK said as he lay down in the bunk room.

***

Evan was sitting up in his bed, leg propped up by the plush firetruck, watching as Eddie set up the Nintendo Switch and got enough controllers ready when Chimney and Tommy walked into the room.

“The party has arrived!” Chimney declared. “And I call the bed!” He threw himself on the bed beside Evan and rolled over to give him a hug and ruffle his hair before he sat up against the headboard. Tommy came over to greet him, leaning down to give him a quick hug.

He smelled amazing. Evan was praying that his expression didn’t give anything away as Tommy pulled back and went to go sit in the desk chair as Eddie told him that he’d called dibs on the bean bag. Tommy kicked his shoes off and propped his feet up by Chimney’s hip.

Evan was too busy replaying that hug over and over again in his mind. The way that his arms had wrapped around him, the way that their chests had been pressed together for a moment, the way that his smell had enveloped him as Evan’s nose was pressed against Tommy’s shoulder.

“Did you get your new license yet?” Chimney asked Evan, prodding him with his elbow.

“No, but I got my old social security card and birth certificate,” Evan said. “I’m not dealing with the DMV until I get my cast off,”

“I don’t blame you, there,” Chimney muttered and then made grabby hands at Evan. “I wanna see. I want to steal your identity, let me see,”

Evan scoffed, opened his bedside table, grabbed the manilla envelope, and handed it to Chimney.

He opened the envelope and pulled out the birth certificate.

“Evan Michael Nash, born June twenty-seventh, 1991.” Chimney read aloud. “At three-forty-two in the morning. Wow, you were a pain in the ass from the very beginning.”

“You know me,” Evan shrugged. “I like to make an entrance,”

“Speaking of entrances,” Hen said as she walked into the room. “Hey, honey,” she ducked down and hugged Evan.

“Hey, Hen.” Evan hugged her tightly and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Hope Karen and Denny weren’t too put off about the other day,”

“What like you were planning on getting your ass picked up by the police?” Hen scoffed and sat down in the armchair Bobby and Eddie had carried into the bedroom so that everyone had somewhere to sit. “Karen told Denny she’d bring him by to see you some other time. She asked me to tell you ‘congratulations’ or ‘my condolences’ based on your mood.”

Buck couldn’t help but laugh. “Thanks,”

Hen looked around the room and her eyes stopped on the piece of paper clutched in Chimney’s hands that Tommy had leaned over to check out, as well.

“What are we talking about?” Hen asked, looking pointedly at her partner.

“I have Evan’s birth certificate,” Chimney waved it in the air like it was a prize.

“Ooh!” Hen lit up. “Let me see!”

“You’re joking,” Evan deadpanned as Chimney handed the paper over and Hen examined it with fervor. “Why is my birth certificate so interesting?” He looked over at Tommy and then Eddie; they both looked as lost as Evan felt.

“You were kidnapped and thought you were someone else your whole life,” Chimney explained. “it’s fascinating.”

“And yet none of that is on that piece of paper,” Evan pointed out.

“It’s new information,” Hen said, easily. “we’re just getting to know you better.”

“You already know everything that matters,” Evan said firmly. “All that changed is my last name and the fact that I’m not actually biologically related to Maddie,”

“Hell yeah,” Chimney held up his hand and Evan gave him a high-five.

“Well, that and we all call you Evan, now,” Eddie piped up as he started passing out controllers.

“Is that not normal?” Tommy asked.

“We used to call him Buck,” Hen says. “But that was short for Buckley,”

“My kidnappers’ last name,” Evan said, meeting Tommy’s eyes.

“Well, it makes sense that you wouldn’t want to go by that anymore,” Tommy said. “I like ‘Evan’ better than ‘Buck’ anyway,”

It was an adjustment for sure, and Evan was still getting used to constantly hearing the name that he’d come to associate with loneliness and disappointment. He liked the way that Tommy said it, though. When Tommy said it, warmth spread through his chest, and he had to fight the urge to smile. It didn’t sound like he was disappointed in him. It didn’t remind him of the countless hours being home alone with no one but Phillip’s encyclopedias to keep him company.

The way that his family and the 118 said it was alright, too. It was warm, kind, and loving. But it didn’t make him feel the way that it did when Tommy said it. That was probably pretty telling, and Evan was torn between wanting to smack Chimney upside the head for setting him up or kissing him for introducing him to Tommy Kinard.

“Yeah,” Evan said softly. “I think I do, too.”

“Anyways,” Eddie said as he forced a controller into Evan’s hands and went to flop down on the bean bag chair. “If I remember correctly, we are here to play a very serious game of Mario Kart,”

“How serious are we talking, here?” Tommy asked, suddenly looking a little nervous.

“We take our games very seriously,” Eddie told him solemnly.

“Sometimes it gets violent,” Evan told Tommy in a warning. “If I were you I’d protect myself.”

He grabbed a throw pillow from behind him and tossed it at Tommy who caught it and set it in his lap. He looked around at the others in the room with suspicion, making Hen snort.

“Don’t worry,” She said. “There’s a reason we’re doing this with Bobby here,”

“He has a no violence rule,” Chimney groused.

“Well after you tackled John at the firehouse, I don’t exactly blame him,” Hen said.

Evan laughed. “That was amazing, though!”

“I’ve never seen Chim fly like that before!” Eddie cackled. “It was like Superman!”

“Bobby asked these two knuckleheads for help getting Chim off John, but they were too busy busting up laughing to be of any real help,” Hen told Tommy.

“I didn’t realize I needed to bring protective gear to play some video games,” Tommy said, grinning.

“I always operate under the assumption that I’m never safe around these guys,” Chimney informed the pilot.

“Did you not hear what we just said about you?” Eddie asked incredulously.

“That was completely different,” Chim said dismissively.

“Oh, I’m sure,” Tommy said placatingly. “So we’re playing dirty, then?”

“Watch your mouth,” Hen scolded playfully. “We do not play dirty. We play violently.”

Tommy looked around the room like he was waiting for someone to start laughing and say that it was a joke. He made eye contact with Evan.

“What’s the difference?” He asked as Chimney got the game queued up.

“We don’t cheat,” Evan explained. “We just beat the sh*t out of each other when we lose,”

Tommy looked alarmed. Evan couldn’t help but chuckle a little. He shrugged and rolled his eyes slightly.

“I don’t make the rules,” he said and swatted Chimney on the chest. “This psychopath does,”

Chimney shoved his shoulder gently before squeezing it affectionately, not saying anything.

“Well, this should be fun,” Tommy said.

***

“No, no, no, no!” Chimney yelled at the top of his lungs. He tried to get his character to beat Evan’s back as the boy tried to run him off the racetrack. He cursed loudly once Evan knocked him off and dropped his controller so that he could smack the younger man on the back of his head.

Evan laughed maniacally. “Take that sucker!”

He shoulder-checked Chimney as he tried to pick his controller back up and when he dropped it, his character fell off the track again. Chimney tossed his controller down on the comforter, grabbed Evan tightly by both shoulders and pretended like he was about to throw him off the bed.

Evan held tightly to his controller, trying to keep his eyes on the screen as he yelled at Chimney.

“Let me go you ass!” He yelled as Chimney cursed in his ear. “Get your hands off me!”

He saw in the corner of his eye when Bobby came to stand in the doorway. He finally shook Chimney off him, and his character was gaining on Eddie. He queued up a booster, the banana peel, and aimed for his best friend.

“Don’t you dare throw that banana, Nash!” Eddie seethed. “Don’t you f*cking dare!”

Eddie’s character was gaining on Tommy’s. Evan waited patiently for an opening to throw the banana peel at Eddie without risking hitting Tommy instead and giving his best friend an advantage.

He threw it as soon as he could, and it made Eddie spiral right off the track. Eddie cursed loudly and threw a pillow at Evan’s head. Evan dodged it and he started trying to pass Tommy, but the man didn’t want to let him pass. Evan started trying to knock him off the track.

“Stop bumping into me!” Tommy complained.

“Then move!” Evan told him.

“And I win!” Hen stood up, arms in the air as Baby Mario took a victory lap.

Evan used another booster and shot over the finish line. “Second place, baby!”

He fist-pumped and then met Hen’s hands for a double high-five. Hen laced her fingers through his for a moment and then grabbed his face to press a kiss to his cheek in victory. Evan laughed as she moved over to tease Eddie and Chimney as they struggled to catch up to Tommy who was crossing the finish line.

“Third!” Tommy cheered and leaned over Chimney to give Evan a high-five.

Evan basked in the way that Tommy’s eyes met his, bright and full of happiness. He had a big, wide, toothy grin on his face which made the corners of his eyes crinkle.

They hadn’t even gone on a date yet, and Evan was so gone on this man. It was ridiculous.

“Damn it!” Chimney yelled as Eddie came in fourth place.

“Maybe if you weren’t trying to distract Evan so much, you wouldn’t have come in last,” Eddie pointed out.

“Hey,” Evan greeted his father. He was leaning against the door jamb with a content look on his face. “are we being too loud?”

Bobby looked slightly emotional as he shook his head. “No, it’s kind of nice, actually,” he admitted. “I’m going to order lunch. Chinese or pizza?”

Evan took in his father’s expression and realized that his friends being there wasn’t only healing for him. It was somehow healing something in Bobby, as well. He remembered, now, that Bobby never got to see Evan as a teenager, and didn’t have him under his roof for sleepovers or for him to have his rowdy friends come over and play video games. Now, here he was, thirty years old, injured, and playing video games with his friends.

He hadn’t considered that maybe Bobby was enjoying this as much as he was. That this was nice for him to see. Evan smiled and turned to look at his friends who were now discussing lunch options. He’d never been so happy, so surrounded by love. He’d made a good family for himself, and he allowed himself to be proud of that for a moment.

The group unanimously decided on Chinese and Bobby took orders and refused any cash that was thrust in his direction, although Tommy fought good and hard to help pay. Bobby gave him a look that had him holding his hands up in surrender.

“I demand a rematch,” Chimney said, standing threateningly in front of the television as Bobby left the room.

He was holding his controller aloft like he was prepared to throw it at anyone who dared to object. Eddie was slouched in the beanbag chair, giving Chimney a slightly judgmental look. Tommy was holding the pillow Evan had given him firmly over his lap, hands clasped on top of it. Hen had her signature bitch, please face on. Evan was having a hard time not laughing.

“You really think you’ll win this time?” Evan asked him.

Chimney pointed at him. “Shut up, the adults are talking.”

“I’m thirty years old,” Evan reminded him. “I am an adult.”

“Everyone in this room is older than you,” Chimney said. “You and Eddie are babies compared to Hen, Tommy, and I,”

“Okay, I wouldn’t say babies,” Tommy said.

Evan looked over at the man to find him looking slightly uncomfortable as he glanced over at Evan, his cheeks turning a little pink as he caught the younger man already looking at him.

“You guys aren’t that old,” Eddie said. “You’re what? Forty?” Chimney nodded.

“I’m forty-two,” Hen said.

“I’ll be forty-two in November,” Tommy said, eyes not leaving Evan’s.

It was like he was waiting to see if he’d be weirded out by his age. Evan shot him one of his best flirty smirks and saw the tension leave Tommy’s shoulders.

“See, you’re not that old,” Eddie claimed. “You’re just kinda old,”

“Isn’t it past your bedtime?” Chimney asked with no small amount of disgust.

Tommy held up a hand placatingly. “Now, Howie,” he said. “Why don’t you just calm down for a minute?”

“I don’t think the word ‘calm’ is in his vocabulary,” Evan muttered.

“You know what words are in my vocabulary?” Chimney turned to Evan. “’Suspended from babysitting duties’”

“Well, it’s not like I can watch Jee-Yun with a broken leg, anyway,” Evan shrugged, nonplussed.

“Oh, I’m talking after you’re healed,” Chimney said threateningly.

Evan paused and blinked at the man. “You know, I just absolutely couldn’t think of a better man for my sister to be dating. You’re handsome, you’re a great firefighter, great friend, absolutely phenomenal father. I mean, you’re just a great guy, all around Chim. Really, really great.”

“That’s more like it,” Chimney pointed to Evan while looking at Eddie.

“You don’t have anything hanging over my head, so I don’t know what you’re expecting here, man,” Eddie said unapologetically.

“He’s younger than I am,” Hen said pointedly.

“And yet you look like you’re twenty,” Eddie said sweetly.

Hen looked unimpressed. Eddie gave her an overenthusiastic grin and Tommy laughed.

Bobby came back into the room with bags of food and looked around at the occupants.

“Did I just walk into a hostage situation?” he asked as he set the food down on the entertainment center.

“Yes,” Eddie said immediately. “Chim’s threatening us, and your son already caved.”

“I was threatened with my niece!” Evan said emphatically. “What was I supposed to do?”

“Dude, you’ve gotta work the system,” Eddie said, clapping his hands together for emphasis. “Hold your ground with him and then go over his head to your sister.”

“Oh, man,” Evan groaned. “I didn’t think of that,”

“Alright, children,” Bobby said. “That’s enough. Now, who got the sweet and sour chicken?”

Chapter 13: Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Text

“Hey, Bu – sorry, I mean Evan,” David smiled nervously as he approached the man sitting at the dining room table, trying to stay out of the way.

“It’s fine,” Evan smiled. “It’s an adjustment. Lots of people have been slipping up.”

“I’ll get it eventually,” David promised. “Michael sent me to ask if you prefer medium or medium rare?”

“Medium, please,” Evan answered with a small smile.

“Gotcha,” David said, and he walked back out onto the patio where Michael was grilling and talking to Bobby and Athena.

“Evan?” Harry came up to him with a nervous look on his face.

“Hey, buddy, what’s up?” Evan asked.

“I was trying to cut tomatoes for mom ‘cause she likes them on her cheeseburgers, but I cut myself,” He held up his hand and Evan saw that he was holding a dishrag against it.

“Come here,” Evan gestured for him to come closer. “Let me see,”

Harry did as he asked, coming to stand right beside him. Evan reached out and grabbed the dishrag, gently lifting it off the cut. He examined it and was relieved to see that it wasn’t deep, it looked pretty superficial, a long cut in the space between his thumb and pointer finger.

“Good news, you don’t need stitches,” Evan said. “Bad news, I can’t walk so I can’t help you clean it.”

Harry looked ready to protest but Evan looked over his shoulder at the patio.

“Bobby?” he called, but the captain didn’t hear him. He raised his voice. “Dad!”

Bobby immediately looked over, eyebrows raised and eyes wide. Evan jerked his head, indicating that Bobby needed to come here. Bobby set his drink aside and came into the house, Athena, David, and Michael watching with blatant curiosity.

“Hey, kiddo,” Bobby came to stand beside Evan and placed his hand on his shoulder. “What’s going on?”

“Harry was trying to be helpful, and he accidentally cut himself,” Evan explained. “I’ve decided he doesn’t need stitches, but the cut needs to be cleaned and bandaged. I’m afraid I’m of no use considering I’m a cripple,”

“You’re not a cripple,” Bobby squeezed the back of his neck as he moved around him to take Harry’s hand and examine the cut. “Your brother’s right, let’s go clean it up, buddy.”

Bobby led Harry to the bathroom and Athena came inside to sit beside Evan.

“What’d your brother do, now?” She asked, sounding less than impressed, but fairly amused.

“He was trying to cut tomatoes for you, he cut his hand. It’s superficial,” Evan explained. “You know – You don’t have to call them my siblings just to make me feel like I belong here, or anything. They’re your kids, I’m Bobby’s kid, I know my place. I don’t want to overstep.”

Athena turned that less than impressed look on him and suddenly there was no trace of amusem*nt. Evan shrank slightly in his seat, although his propped-up leg didn’t allow much room for him to make himself smaller.

“I know I can’t ever replace your mother,” Athena said. “And I would never dare try. It’s the same way that your father could never replace Michael. But don’t you ever think that I don’t love you just the same as my own. As far as I am concerned, I have three children. Your place is right here in this family. You understand me, Evan Nash?”

“Yes ma’am,” Evan nodded. He smiled as he spotted Bobby and Harry coming back out to join them. “Love you, too,”

Athena patted his hand and turned her attention to her younger son.

***

“You let him do what?” Hen asked from across the table.

“Set me up,” Tommy repeated himself.

“Oh, don’t act like I didn’t introduce you to the love of your life, or anything,” Chimney said faux-offended.

Hen faltered slightly. “Okay, that aside,” she held up a hand. “Who did he set you up with?”

“Evan Nash,” Tommy answered, smiling slightly. “and I have to say, it’s looking like Chimney might be right.”

Chimney cheered and Hen looked at Tommy in exasperation.

“You just had to go there, didn’t you?” she asked. “You’re boosting his ego,”

Tommy shrugged. “I mean, I’ve got to give it to him on this one,” he took a swig of his beer. “Evan is… I mean, I don’t know him very well, but…”

“It’s unlike anything you’ve ever felt before. It feels so important so soon and you feel ridiculous for feeling that way, but you just have this feeling that this person is going to mean so much to you?” Hen says, a knowing look in her eyes. And yeah, that’s exactly what Tommy was feeling.

“It’s like I already know I’m going to fall in love with him,” Tommy agreed. “I wanted to punch Eddie in the face when he was saying that he didn’t want to hear Evan tell him his facts because then Evan said everyone was annoyed by him, but I think it’s adorable that he wants to learn so much. No one should make anyone feel stupid for being excited about something.”

Hen and Chimney both got guilty looks on their faces and Tommy had to suppress his frustration. Apparently, his friends had treated Evan the same way.

“Yeah, Bobby told us the reason why Evan knows all those fun facts,” Hen said quietly. “He was ignored as a child, so he had all this free time and he read encyclopedias cover to cover. He had nothing better to do, no one to hang out with, and no one who cared about him.”

“Except for Maddie,” Chimney spoke up for his girlfriend. “although, she’s nine years older than him and she eventually left with her ex-husband to move to Boston and go to nursing school. So Evan was left with those people all by himself for another nine years.”

Tommy sighed. “So he’s never really had anyone, aside from Maddie and the 118 that loved him?”

“No, not even his exes,” Hen said.

“Oh, God,” Chimney groaned, taking a drink. “He has the worst track record with dating.”

Tommy frowned. “What do you mean?”

“He picks the worst people,” Chimney explained. “First, he dated this dispatch operator Abby. She got his personal phone number off a case file and called him, she was totally using him the whole time, then her mom died and she decided to go frolic around Europe and she strung him along, saying she was going to come back for months. Then she comes back maybe… what? Two years later? With a fiancé no less. Never gave Evan any closure.”

“And then there was Taylor Kelly,” Hen said.

“The reporter?” Tommy asked.

“Yeah, she was just using him for stories, though,” Chimney claimed. “He deserved better than that… person,”

“After Taylor was Ali,” Hen said. “She was nice, but she didn’t like him enough to stick around when things got hard.”

“She left him as soon as he was out of the hospital after getting crushed by the ladder truck,” Chimney groused. “Said she didn’t think she could handle his line of work. Another reason you’re so perfect for him.”

“Because I know what to expect when it comes to the job,” Tommy said. “I know that we’re going to get hurt and take risks. It’s just part of the job.”

“Exactly,” Chimney pointed at him. “And you’re not some asshole who’s going to use him or ghost him or give up when things get hard. You’re emotionally mature, you’re a solid guy, you have morals, and you care about people.”

“Well, thank you, Howie,” Tommy said. “I appreciate the flattery,”

“Besides, if I marry Maddie and you marry Evan we’ll be brothers-in-law,” Chimney said in excitement. “You’ll be Uncle Tommy.”

Tommy chuckled and nervously took another swig of beer. “We haven’t even gone on a date, yet Howie. Don’t get your hopes up.”

Chimney just smirked at him.

“You’re already planning the wedding, aren’t you?” Tommy asked flatly.

“I’m thinking roses and sunflowers for the centerpieces,” Chimney said.

“Ooh, and an open bar,” Hen said. “All-you-can-eat buffet for the food.”

“What’s your favorite flavor of cake, Tommy?” Chimney asked.

He and Hen looked at him with amused smiles. Tommy just shook his head and downed his beer.

***

To Evan’s surprise, Athena was still sitting in the same parking spot that she’d dropped him off in.

“It was still open when you got back?” He asked as he climbed into the passenger seat and put his crutches in the back.

“I didn’t leave,” Athena told him.

He felt a wave of guilt rush over him. He’d asked her if she would mind dropping him off at his therapy appointment with Dr. Copeland and assured her that she didn’t need to come inside with him, but he figured she’d go find something else to do for the hour that he was going to be inside. He hadn’t meant for her to waste her time in the parking lot.

“You didn’t have to stay,” Evan told her. “If you had other things to do I could have called an Uber,”

Athena gave him one of her stop talking immediately looks. “I know you didn’t just say that,”

“I just mean that I feel bad that you sat out here for an hour,” Evan said as he buckled his seatbelt, and she pulled out of the parking lot.

“I’m a big girl that makes my own choices, son,” Athena told him. “Besides, it was nice to have some peace and quiet to do some reading. I can never get through more than a few pages when your father is home,”

Evan chuckled. “He doesn’t seem like a big reader.”

“He’s not,” Athena agreed. “I’m the one who picked out the books that are in your room. Do you like to read?”

“I read a lot as a kid,” Evan nodded. “Phillip had a set of encyclopedias and I read them all the way through. I learned a lot,”

Athena glanced over at him and she looked a little sad.

“Yeah, your dad told me that you had a lot of free time as a kid,” her voice wasn’t much louder than a whisper. “and that’s why you know so many fun facts,”

“Well, I also like doing research,” Evan told her. “I did a lot of research on helicopters last night.”

“Oh really?” Athena smirked. “Does that have anything to do with a certain helicopter pilot that you recently met?”

“Chimney is setting us up,” Evan admitted. “and I’m not uninterested,”

“He didn’t seem uninterested either,” Athena laughed. “he could barely keep his eyes off you at dinner.”

“Aw, man,” Evan waved a hand dismissively. “I don’t think that’s true,”

“It is,” Athena insisted. “Your dad noticed it, too,”

“You guys are talking about us?” Evan asked incredulously.

“We talk about our kids, yes,” Athena said pointedly.

Evan went to retort when his phone chimed. Athena glanced at him. “Is that Kinard?”

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and his eyebrows rose when he saw who had texted him.

“No, no, it’s not,” He murmured. “Um, it’s this firefighter from Austin, Texas that we met when we went to help with the wildfire.”

TK Strand 12:17 P.M. – Hey, you free next week?

“What’s he want?” Athena asked.

“He’s asking if I have plans next week,” Evan said while typing out a response.

Evan 12:18 P.M. – Can’t say I have any plans, no. Why do you ask? I’m still not getting on a plane just to suffer through your dad’s anti-sugar regime.

TK Strand 12:20 P.M. – Carlos, Judd, Grace, and I are coming up to L.A. next week for a concert. Let’s hang?

Evan 12:21 P.M. – Nothing too crazy, my leg is still out of commission.

TK Strand 12:23 P.M. – Well, there goes the rave idea.

TK Strand 12:24 P.M. – Judd says he gives good piggyback rides.

TK Strand 12:25 P.M. – He also said to invite Soldier Boy and Helicopter Hen.

“They’re going to be in L.A. next week for a concert,” Evan told his stepmother. “They want to hang out. Can we host a game night or something at the house? Invite the team, Karen, Maddie, Ana?”

“Sounds like fun,” Athena nodded. “Your dad can cook. Invite Tommy, too,”

“Thanks, ‘Thena,” Evan said.

“Of course, baby,” Athena patted his knee.

Evan 12:27 P.M. – You like game nights? My dad is a pretty good cook. I can invite the 118 and Tommy.

T.K. Strand 12:30 P.M. – YES!

TK Strand 12:31 P.M. – Definitely invite him. Carlos and I want to check him out. Game night sounds good. We’ll bring snacks and dessert.

TK Strand 12:32 P.M. – Concert is Friday night. Saturday night for game night? We’re staying til Monday afternoon. We’ll come steal you for lunch or something on Sunday.

Evan 12:33 P.M. – Sounds like a plan! See you then!

“Alright, it’s a plan,” Evan said. “Saturday night,”

“It’s good to see your friends coming around and helping you through this,” Athena said sincerely.

“It’s not as bad as everyone thinks,” Evan said.

“Because so many people are around,” Athena pointed out. “You’re almost never alone. Now, if you were alone and going through this? I’m sure it’d be hell,”

Evan had to admit that she had a point. “Yeah, I’m sure you’re right.” He said. “I’ve got good friends. A good family,”

Athena reached over and ran a hand over his hair. “We all love you very much,”

“I love you guys, too,”

***

The next few days were chaotic and Evan was starting to wonder if his family had created some sort of schedule to ensure that he was never left alone if anyone could help it.

Karen, Hen, and Denny came over and spent some time with him while Athena and Bobby went to go to some sort of event with Harry. Karen hugged Evan for so long that he actually teared up and thought he was going to start bawling on her shoulder. She gave some really healing hugs.

Denny sat beside him and chattered for a while before he walked over to Evan’s wall of framed pictures and started pointing out which ones he had drawn and explained in detail what each one was and why he’d chosen to draw it.

Before they left, Karen took Denny to put his shoes on and Hen took Evan by the hand.

“Chimney told me that he set you and Tommy up.” She admitted. “I just want to tell you that Tommy’s a really great guy. I think Chimney’s right, you two would make a really wonderful couple.”

Evan laughed. “Well, I plan on finding out.” He admitted. “Um, are you free next Saturday night?”

“I am, why?” Hen asked.

“TK Strand from Austin texted me,” Buck told her. “He, his boyfriend, and another firefighter, Judd are in town next week. We’re planning a game night. I was specifically told to invite Helicopter Hen,”

Hen laughed boisterously. “I’m in,” she said. “Keep getting better, honey.”

She leaned down, kissed his forehead, and left.

Maddie and Chimney brought Jee-Yun over a few days later. They sat on either side of him and together, they looked through the photo album that Bobby had given him. He also showed them the raccoon and the rings.

Maddie suggested maybe putting them on a chain and wearing them, but in his line of work, he would be too afraid of losing them. He figured they were safer in the box. Maybe he’d put them in his safe when he moved back to the loft.

Maddie, at one point, sat Jee down in her carrier and wrapped her arms around Evan. She leaned in so that she could talk directly into his ear.

“I don’t care who your parents are,” she told him. “you will forever be my little brother. I love you so much, Evan. We’re family whether you like it or not. You’re stuck with us,”

Chimney then wrapped his arms around the both of them.

“We love you, kiddo,” Chimney told him, sounding close to tears.

***

Evan had almost been asleep when his bedroom door creaked open. He looked up and saw through the darkness as two people looked into his room.

“May? Harry?” Evan asked tiredly. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” May came into the room and pulled Harry in after her. She closed the door behind them, placed something on the bed, and turned on his floor lamp.

Evan blinked against the sudden light and took in the scene unfolding before him. May and Harry were in sweats, not the pajamas they’d been wearing earlier, and there was a large, paper shopping bag on the bed.

“Did you guys leave?” Evan asked, sitting up.

“Yeah, we went to the store,” Harry said as he climbed onto the bed and sat with his legs crisscrossed.

“Does your mom know?” Evan asked.

“Our mom,” May said pointedly. “Is fast asleep. So is your dad.”

“So you snuck out,” Evan said flatly.

“I’m an adult,” May said.

“Harry isn’t,” Evan replied. “What’d you guys get?”

May smiled at the change in subject and started pulling things out of the bag.

“We have cookies, brownies, cupcakes, cheesecake, chocolate cake, and three kinds of ice cream. Chocolate, strawberry, and your favorite, mint chocolate chip.” May said proudly, “We also got paper plates and plastic silverware.”

“Wow, did you guys buy the whole dessert section?” Evan asked, impressed.

“Almost,” Harry said seriously. “We wanted to have options.”

“Well, we definitely have options,” Evan laughed. “Where should we start?”

“The ice cream,” May decided. “before it melts. Where’s your remote? We need a movie.”

Evan reached over and grabbed his remote to turn on the next Marvel movie in their marathon. May handed him the pint of mint chocolate chip and a spoon.

They worked their way through several different desserts and two movies before they landed on The Avengers.

“I feel bad for Loki, though,” May said.

“You’re just saying that because he’s hot,” Evan said dismissively. “He’s a terrorist. He’s killing hundreds of people.”

“But he’s doing it in style,” May said.

“You’re joking right?” Evan said. “Harry, please tell me that you’re not sympathizing with the terrorist too.”

“Nope!” Harry said. “I’m on Captain America’s side!”

Evan’s bedroom door opened for the second time that night, and for the second time that night, two people looked inside.

Evan, May, and Harry froze, desserts in hand.

“Busted,” Evan sing songed.

“What are you all doing?” Athena asked. She didn’t look mad, in fact, she had a slight smile on her face.

Bobby was standing behind her with a fond look on his face, as well.

“Eating?” Evan asked.

“Watching movies,” Harry added.

“Uh, huh,” Athena stepped into the room and Bobby followed her. “And where’d you get that food?”

“The store,” May said. “Harry and I went after you guys fell asleep.”

“Did you wake your brother up?” Athena asked them. “He’s hurt and he needs rest to heal.”

May and Harry looked a little guilty.

“I wasn’t asleep, yet,” Evan said, defending them.

Athena and Bobby smiled at him.

“May, Harry, why don’t you two go put all that food away, okay?” Bobby suggested. “It’s time to go to bed, it’s almost three.”

“Okay,” Harry groaned.

May and Harry gathered all the desserts and left the room. Evan turned the movie off and looked at his dad and stepmom warily.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know that they were going to-” He started to apologize but Athena looked at him incredulously.

“Baby, we’re not mad,” Athena told him. “I’m a cop, do you really think that I didn’t know they had been planning this all day?”

“You knew?” Evan asked, surprised.

“Mmhmm,” Athena said.

“We were still awake when they left,” Bobby informed him. “We just wanted to make sure that they didn’t keep you up all night long.”

His father patted him on his leg.

“Get some sleep, kiddo,” He said gently.

“Night, Dad,” Evan said quietly. “Night, ‘Thena,”

“Night baby,” she turned his lamp off and they left the room.

Chapter 14: Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Text

Tommy, even though it felt weird, walked right into Captain Nash’s house. Evan was the only one home at the time, no one else had yet arrived for movie night, so he’d been told to just walk right in. He came to the top of the stairs to descend into the living area when he spotted the man half-sitting-half-hanging off the couch, trying to get things set up.

“Hey,” Tommy greeted as he walked down the steps. “Do you need help?”

Evan turned those gorgeous blue eyes on him, and Tommy got to watch in real-time as his face lit up with a smile. He couldn’t help but smile back.

Tommy had been with his fair share of men in his nearly forty-two years, and a few women while he was still in denial, but he’d never felt so strongly about someone the way that he had about Evan when he first met him.

He’d instantly known that he wanted to date him; to hold him and kiss him and do everything in between. He knew instantly that Evan Nash had the potential to break his heart, and Tommy kind of wanted to let him. He wanted to take the risk.

Evan was like sunshine. He was warm and bright, and he lit up the room when he smiled. And when he smiled at Tommy? It felt like he was lighting Tommy up, too.

“Hey!” Evan greeted him brightly. “Yeah, I can’t reach that bowl. Would you mind helping me?” he gestured to a bowl filled with popcorn that was just out of reach.

Tommy stooped down and picked it up. “Where do you want it?”

Evan gestured to an end table that was between the couch and one of the armchairs. “Could you put it there, please?”

“Yeah,” Tommy placed it where he was told and then looked around the room. “Anything else? Do you want the lights off, yet?”

“Just the one in here,” he pointed at a light switch within arm’s reach of Tommy. Tommy turns the light off. “Thanks,”

“No problem,” he goes to sit on the couch beside Evan, his arm draping over the back of it, brushing against the man’s shoulders just the tiniest bit. Even that contact was enough to make it feel like his skin was on fire. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine,” Evan said. “How are you?”

“I’m good,” Tommy answered.

There was a beat of silence and just before Tommy caved and asked what he did all day, Evan spoke up.

“Did you know that the first person was saved by a helicopter in 1944? There have been more than three million people saved by helicopters since.”

Tommy couldn’t help the goofy grin that took over his face. Evan had done research on helicopters. Evan knew that Tommy flew helicopters, so Tommy couldn’t help but think that he’d done the research so that maybe they’d have something to talk about. And damn if that didn’t make him like the guy even more.

Evan was gorgeous, there was no denying that. He was kind and funny. He was brave. He knew how to have fun. He was friends with some really amazing people. He was clearly intelligent and was always willing to learn more, especially about other people’s interests.

Tommy was just so drawn to him.

“I didn’t know that. You did research?”

“Yeah,” Evan said, he ducked his head a little and Tommy could just barely see blush color his cheeks. His heart ached in his chest, he wanted to reach out and trace the blush with his fingertips, but he was afraid of going too far too fast. This man, it was different, he didn’t want to scare him away.

Instead, he propped his chin up on his hand, kept his eyes fixed on Evan, and gave him his full attention.

“What else did you learn?” he asked. Evan visibly hesitated. “I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t want to hear. I think it’s really amazing that you did all that research and I want to hear what you learned.”

“No one’s ever actually been interested to hear my fun facts,” Evan said, sounding a little disbelieving.

Tommy thought back to his evening at the bar with Hen and Chimney. The guilty looks on their faces as they admitted that they’d poked fun at Evan for his love of learning things. Of the random things that he knew and got excited about. Tommy had wanted to yell at them for making the man feel bad about such a fascinating aspect of his personality, especially one that stemmed from a traumatic childhood.

Tommy promised himself, right then and there, that he would find a way to make sure that Evan never got that look on his face again. It might take some time, but eventually, Evan would stop doubting that Tommy wanted to know these sides of Evan. He wanted to bask in the excitement that the man got when he started talking about something new. He wanted to see, over and over again, the light in Evan’s eyes because he was so happy.

Tommy wanted to be the reason for the light in Evan’s eyes.

“Well, I am,” Tommy told him. “You can always tell me your fun facts, I want to hear them,”

Evan was silent for another beat and Tommy thought maybe he’d pushed too hard.

“Helicopters are the only aircraft that can move forward, backward, side-to-side, and hover,” Evan said.

“That’s right,” Tommy nodded. “That’s why I prefer flying them over planes.”

“Can you fly planes, too?” Evan asked.

“I can,” Tommy confirmed. “Actually, I think you’ve seen me fly one before. Last year I did the water drop on that neighborhood you guys were trying to put out when dispatch was down.”

Evan perked up. “That was you?”

“Yeah,” Tommy chuckled. “Howie called and asked if I could do it for you guys.”

“Well, you saved the day,” Evan told him. “Eddie was trapped in the house with a kid, we couldn’t get the fire under control,”

“I’m happy I could help you,” Tommy said honestly, and then internally cringed at his word choice.

I’m happy I could help you. Not you guys or you all. But you.

How obvious could he be?

“Did you know that the first person to use the word helicopter was a French writer named Ponton D’Amecourt in 1863?” Evan changed the subject, but his tone was normal. He didn’t seem put out or disgusted or awkward. It was actually like he hadn’t thought twice about the wording of Tommy’s statement.

How oblivious could he be?

“1863?” Tommy asked with genuine surprise. “Wow, that’s insane,”

Evan hummed in agreement.

“Hey, are you free next Saturday night?” Evan asked suddenly.

“I don’t have a shift,” Tommy answered. “I have a chopper reserved for us that morning, but nothing that evening.”

“We’re having a game night here,” Evan said. “I was hoping you’d joined us,”

“Sure,” Tommy agreed easily, jumping at the chance to spend more time with Evan. “Who’s we?”

“Bobby, Athena, Hen, Karen, Eddie, Ana, Chimney, Maddie, and then some friends from Austin. TK and his boyfriend Carlos, and Judd and his wife Grace.” Evan ticked names off on his fingers.

“Friends from Austin?” Tommy prompted.

“Hen, Eddie, and I went down to Texas when the wildfires were bad, and we helped contain the fires,” Evan explained. “T.K. and Judd are firefighters at the 126. Carlos is a cop and Grace is a dispatcher.”

Tommy couldn’t help but notice that it was a bunch of couples gathering for game night. Plus, him and Evan. And Evan was inviting him, but he didn’t seem aware of Tommy’s feelings for him. Or maybe he just wasn’t acting on them yet. Did this mean that he was interested in dating Tommy? Or was he just inviting him out of the kindness of his heart?

“Sounds like a fun night,” Tommy agreed. “I’ll be there.”

Evan grinned. “Great!”

Tommy didn’t want to wait over a week to see Evan, again, though.

“I’m off on Tuesday,” Tommy said. “Could I bring you lunch or something?”

“Yeah, that’d be great,” Evan said, smiling widely. “I like hanging out with you,”

“I like spending time with you, too,” Tommy replied. “Howie was right,”

“Right about what?” Evan asked, his voice suddenly quiet.

“You know he’s setting us up, right?” Tommy asked.

“Yeah,” Evan breathed. “He told me I’m going to marry you,”

Tommy laughed lightly. “Yeah, he said that to me, too,” he admitted. “But I was talking about something else. He told me that you’re a good person. You’re kind, smart, and funny. You care about your family. You’re brave and loyal. He also said that you’ve had some really sh*tty girlfriends recently, that you deserve better, but he wasn’t sure if you were into guys.”

He could hear Evan breathing; it was slightly labored.

“I am,” it was a quiet admission, but Tommy heard it loud and clear. “Into guys, I am,”

“Good,” Tommy whispered. “because I don’t know what I would have done if you told me I didn’t have a chance with you,”

Evan’s hand slid over his, his fingers curling around Tommy’s. “I think you’ve got more than a chance,” he said, his voice shaking slightly.

He was nervous and that made Tommy want him even more. Tommy gripped Evan’s hand and rubbed his thumb across the back of it. He leaned in until he could feel Evan’s breath fanning across his face.

“Trying to get your attention has been kind of exhausting,” Evan said.

“You’ve been trying to get my attention?” Tommy jolted in surprise.

“I guess I haven’t been doing a very good job of it,” Evan laughed self-deprecatingly.

“On the contrary,” Tommy grabbed Evan’s chin and tilted his head up until their lips were ghosting over each other. “you’ve had my attention since before I ever laid eyes on you,”

He closed the distance, pressing their lips together. His hand moved from Evan’s chin to cup his jaw. It wasn’t deep, it wasn’t heated, it didn’t need to be. This was a simple affirmation, that yes they were interested in each other. They were attracted to each other. They wanted to see where this would go, but it didn’t need to progress or lead to anything else. Not tonight. Not yet.

Tommy pulled away from the best first kiss he’d ever had and kept his eyes closed for just a little longer, savoring the feeling. His lips tingled and they were a little wet from Evan’s saliva. Evan’s hand was still gripping his own and he didn’t seem like he was going to let go any time soon.

He let himself sit in the moment. There was no anxiety, no pressure, he didn’t feel like he had to keep up an act. It felt so right to be here with Evan, holding his hand and breathing his air. It was familiar and brand new, all at the same time.

Tommy opened his eyes and saw that Evan was already looking at him with half-lidded eyes. His lips were still slightly parted, and he was looking at Tommy in awe.

“Was that okay?” Tommy asked quietly.

“That was amazing,” Evan murmured. “Let’s do it again,”

He reached up and cupped the back of Tommy’s neck, but he didn’t pull him forward. It was like he wasn’t sure how Tommy would respond to that.

Tommy leaned forward and pressed their lips together again. This time he put more pressure behind it and angled his head so that the kiss was deeper. Evan sighed contentedly and relaxed against Tommy. The pilot pulled his hand away from Evan’s and wrapped his arm around him, pulling him closer.

Tommy lightened the pressure until their lips were just gliding against each other, and he brushed his thumb against Evan’s cheekbone.

“You’re gorgeous,” he murmured against Evan’s lips.

“So are you,” Evan breathed. “Did you seriously not realize that I’m interested in you?”

Tommy pulled back slightly, their noses brushed, and Tommy got to watch Evan’s crinkle as he smiled.

“I hoped,” he said honestly. “But I wasn’t sure. I think I half convinced myself that I was just seeing what I wanted to see,”

“I want to give this a real shot,” Evan pulled back more so that they could look into each other’s eyes. “I want a real relationship, and Chimney’s right, I haven’t had much luck in the past. My first serious relationship was with a woman fifteen years older than me, and she up and left and decided I wasn’t worth coming back to. Then there’s the girl who was just using me for insider information so she could get a good enough story to get on the air. Then there was the girl who couldn’t stick around after I was crushed by a ladder truck. But I swear I’ve never felt the way that I did the first time I laid eyes on you. I can’t even explain it, I was just drawn to you.”

“Yeah,” Tommy breathed. “I know the feeling,”

He pressed another kiss to Evan’s lips and pulled back quickly, so they didn’t get distracted before he managed to get his two cents in.

“Those girls had no idea what they were missing out on,” he said. “You’re worth sticking around for, Evan. You do deserve better, and I promise I’ll do my best to make you happy.”

“I will, too,” Evan swore.

“So, I guess I understand now why the age difference didn’t bother you,” Tommy laughed a little awkwardly. “I kind of expected you to run in the other direction. Most people would.”

“Age is just a number,” Evan said firmly. “I don’t care that you’re older than me. Does it bother you that I’m twelve years younger than you?”

“No,” Tommy said honestly. “No, it doesn’t. I still want to be with you.”

“And I still want to be with you,” Evan told him. “Hence the three dates we’ve got coming up this week,”

Tommy laughed. “Lunch, a sunrise helicopter ride, and a couple’s game night,” he smiled and tightened the arm around Evan’s waist. “I’m looking forward to all of them,”

“Me too,”

This time, Evan leaned in to connect their lips. Tommy was just getting into it when the door opened and they broke apart to see Chimney closing the door behind him, a victorious look on his face.

“See?” Chimney said gesturing to their close proximity. “I told you guys you’d like each other!”

Chapter 15: Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Text

Over the next few days, Buck and Tommy texted each other a lot.

Evan Nash 9:36 A.M. – Did you know that Australia is wider than the moon?

Tommy Kinard 10:02 A.M. – I didn’t! That’s really interesting. Is that the only country that’s wider than the moon?

Evan Nash 9:36 A.M. – Yeah, I think so. The moon still has more surface area, but Australia is wider.

Tommy Kinard 3:39 P.M. – What’s your favorite movie?

Evan Nash 3:44 P.M. – Iron Man. But if we’re talking documentaries, there’s this really interesting National Geographic one about whales. What’s yours?

Tommy Kinard 3:47 P.M. – Love, Actually.

Evan Nash 11:23 A.M. – Did you know people used to eat arsenic?

Tommy Kinard 11:30 A.M. – Why?!

Evan Nash – 11:32 A.M. - In the Victorian era, women mixed it with vinegar and chalk to improve their complexion. It made their skin paler. They did it to show they didn’t work in the fields.

Tommy Kinard 11:40 A.M. – I bet it did make their skin paler. I wonder how many people died from it.

Evan Nash 11:43 A.M. – There were a total of 555 poison-related deaths in the Victorian era. 186 of those were supposedly from arsenic. So it accounted for more than a third of the poisonings.

Tommy Kinard 11:47 A.M. – Wow, that’s crazy.

Tommy Kinard 2:47 P.M. – Okay, I’ve got a fun fact for you.

Evan Nash 2:49 P.M. – Woah, the tables have turned. Tell me!

Tommy Kinard 2:52 P.M. – The official word for a fear of long words is: Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia.

Evan Nash 2:53 P.M. – That’s just cruel.

Tommy Kinard 2:55 P.M. – I know right?! There’s no way they didn’t do that on purpose!

***

Every time Tommy texted, Evan looked down at his phone, beaming. Bobby had caught him more than once and hadn’t teased him about it, but Evan had seen the smile on the man’s face.

“You really don’t mind me dating Tommy?” Evan asked before Bobby went to work on Tuesday.

“Why would I mind?” Bobby asked.

“Well, he used to work for you.” Evan shrugged.

Bobby gave him a knowing look. “And he hasn’t in years. He’s a good guy, Evan.” Bobby said seriously. “And I’ve seen the way you look at each other. He makes you happy, and that’s what I care about. So long as he keeps making you happy, he’s good in my book.”

They’d shared a long, emotional hug and Bobby had left for work. Athena came to say goodbye before her shift as well, kissing his head and making sure he had everything he needed.

“Is someone coming to spend time with you, today?” She asked, worrying about leaving him by himself.

“Tommy’s bringing me lunch,” Evan said, a small smile on his lips.

Athena smiled knowingly. “Have fun on your date,” she said smugly.

“I will,” He said as cheerfully as he could, making her turn and shoot him a look over her shoulder before she left.

When Tommy arrived a few hours later, Evan was in the kitchen, balancing precariously on his crutches, and trying to reach the plates in the cabinet. Evan heard the man enter the dining room behind him and place something on the dining table.

“Hey, what are you doing?” Tommy sounded concerned.

“Trying to get plates,” Evan said, dropping his arm back down to his side.

“I’ll get them,” Tommy told him as he came up behind him and placed his hands on Evan’s hips. “Go sit down,”

Evan hobbled out of the kitchen and to the table. Tommy was right behind him with the plates.

“Thank you,” Evan said as he plopped down in a chair and Tommy placed one of the plates in front of him. Tommy smiled and planted a quick kiss on his lips.

“You’re welcome,” he said, sitting down beside Evan. He reached for the bag of food he brought. “I hope burgers are okay?”

“Of course they are,” Evan said. “How was your shift?”

Tommy sighed. “Long,” he said. “We got a new probie and he just had to go and say the Q-word.”

Evan gasped. “Oh, no,”

Tommy looked up from where he was plating their food. “Oh, yes,” he said. “We had thirty-nine calls in twenty-four hours. I went on eighteen of them.”

“What’s it like normally?” Evan asked. “How many do you usually go on?”

“We usually divide calls up pretty evenly. It’s pretty rare that more than two teams are out at once unless there’s a big disaster. So typically I don’t go on more than ten on a good shift.” Tommy shrugged and placed a soda in front of Evan.

“I couldn’t imagine only going on ten calls a shift,” Evan admitted. “I like staying busy,”

“Yeah, I see that,” Tommy smiled. “It’s driving you crazy staying home.”

“Yes, yes it is,” Evan sighed.

“Is anybody else coming over today?” Tommy asked.

“Not that I know of,” Evan shook his head and dug into the food Tommy had brought him. He made a noise of appreciation. “This is amazing,”

Tommy nodded in agreement. “Best burgers I’ve ever had,” He wiped his mouth with a napkin. “I don’t have anything else going on today. I could stay.”

“Aren’t you tired?” Evan asked. “You just got off a twenty-four,”

“I don’t want to leave you here by yourself,” Tommy told him.

“We could go watch a movie in my room,” Evan suggested. “No hard feelings if you fall asleep. You can borrow something comfortable to wear.”

Tommy nodded in agreement and when they finished with their lunches, they climbed into Evan’s bed and Evan turned on Love, Actually, making Tommy laugh. Evan laid on his back and reached out for Tommy. The pilot went willingly into Evan’s arms, allowing the younger man to manhandle him until he was lying with his head on the firefighter’s chest.

Evan started to comb his fingers through Tommy’s hair, trying to soothe him.

“Go to sleep,” Evan said gently. “You look exhausted.”

“Don’t want to leave you alone,” Tommy said around a yawn.

“You’re here,” Evan said. “That’s already more than enough. Get some sleep.”

Tommy drifted off pretty quickly after that and Evan watched the movie and tried not to disturb his kind-of-boyfriend’s slumber. He ended up moving on to a true-crime T.V. show when the movie ended, and Tommy was still dead to the world.

He’d been lying there for hours, holding Tommy, when Bobby appeared in the doorway. Evan froze for a split second, the tension that went through his body was enough to make Tommy stir slightly and tighten the arm that was slung across Evan’s waist.

Evan relaxed when all his dad did was raise an eyebrow and smile in amusem*nt. He lifted a finger to his lips, signaling that Bobby should be quiet. His father nodded and came into the room, rounding the bed to crouch next to Evan’s head.

“Is he staying for dinner?” Bobby asked quietly.

“He didn’t say, but I’ll try to bully him into it,” Evan whispered.

“Good,” Bobby said and then he hesitated. “You look happy,”

“I am,” Evan admitted. “I really am,”

Bobby smiled and stood up. He stooped down to kiss Evan’s forehead and then left the room without further comment. Evan turned his head to bury his face in Tommy’s hair. He tightened his arms around him and felt it when the arm around his waist tightened in return.

He didn’t see his father stop in the doorway to take a picture.

***

“Okay,” Two nurses stood on either side of him and held him by the arms. “Let’s stand up and try to walk to dad.”

Evan hesitantly slid forward until his feet touched the floor and he tried to evenly distribute his weight on both of his legs. He shakily took a step forward and tore his eyes away from his feet to look at his father.

Bobby was sitting a few feet away, a big smile on his face as he stood up and extended his arms like Evan was taking his first-ever steps. As he got steadier, the nurses relaxed their grip on him until they were walking alongside him but not supporting him.

He made it to Bobby, grabbing his dad’s forearms and letting him pull him into a hug.

“You did a great job, kiddo!” He rubbed his son’s back and then pulled away. “How’s it feel? You’ve been complaining about the cast since before you left the hospital.”

The nurses chuckled and Evan grinned, nodding. “Feels like freedom,”

“I’ll bet,” Bobby clapped him on the shoulder.

The nurses left with the promise to be right back with his paperwork for the department. Evan pulled his phone out of his pocket and handed it to Bobby.

“Can you take a picture? I want to send it in the group chat.” He asked.

“What of your leg?” Bobby asked incredulously even as he opened the camera app.

“No,” Evan laughed. “Of me standing up without those torture devices.”

“Ah,” Bobby pointed the phone at him and Buck spread his arms and put a big, cheesy smile on his face. His dad had a fond look on his face as he snapped the picture and then he handed the phone back.

“Hey, do you think those crutches would burn well?” Evan asked.

“You’re a firefighter, do you really think that’s a good idea?” Bobby asked, giving Evan one of his best dad looks.

“It was hypothetical,” Evan said as he sent the picture to the 118 group chat and to Tommy as well.

Evan Nash 10:45 A.M. – Free at last.

Chimney 10:47 A.M. – Come to the firehouse, I want to race you down the stairs.

Hen 10:48 A.M. – Absolutely not.

Eddie 10:50 A.M. – Damn it, why do you guys always do fun stuff when I’m gone?

“You’d think with how often you need to use them that you’d just keep that pair,” Bobby said, gesturing to the crutches.

“Oh, I don’t want to manifest another leg injury,” Evan said. “I’m getting rid of them. Two breaks in the same leg is good enough for me. Although that’s not counting how many breaks it was the first time, but that’s beside the point.”

Bobby apparently didn’t have anything to say about that.

“Can we go to the firehouse? Chimney wants to race me down the stairs.”

Bobby gave him another dad look. “We can go to the firehouse if you promise me that you will not run down those stairs.”

“Remember when I asked you why you hate fun?” Evan asked.

“This is a little different than vetoing a toddler bed, Evan,” Bobby said.

“Can we race across even ground?” Evan asked.

“I think you’re going to find a way to race no matter what I say about it,” Bobby said, not unkindly.

“We’ve got to celebrate the cast coming off,” Evan informed him.

“And here I thought we usually celebrated with cake,” Bobby joked.

“Is there cake?” Evan asked.

Bobby didn’t answer.

Half an hour later, Evan was slowly ascending the stairs in the firehouse, and he was begrudgingly beginning to understand where Bobby had been coming from when he told Evan not to race Chimney down them. He’d definitely have fallen down them and broken his neck. Bobby was following behind him, being the picture of patience as Evan panted his way up the staircase until he finally reached the top.

He was immediately directed to the couch, and he flopped down onto it beside Chimney who threw his arm around his shoulders.

“It just wouldn’t be fair for us to race right now,” he said solemnly. “When I beat your ass, it has to be when you’re at full strength,”

“You wouldn’t beat me,” Evan said. He looked at Bobby. “I’m taking the pole down when we leave.”

“Sure thing, kiddo,” Bobby said.

“So, how’s it feeling?” Hen asked as she came to kneel next to his leg, examining it with easy access as he’d worn shorts. She gently ran her fingers across the scars from his surgeries after the bombing, looking for swelling or irritation.

“Feels good, just weird to be walking on it after so long,” Evan assured her. “It’s definitely weaker, too. I’m going to need some PT.”

“So, when are you coming back to work?” Chimney asked.

“Not this coming Monday, but next,” Evan told him. “I’ve still got to get my new license and we’ve got some paperwork to do for the department,”

“Oh, HR stuff?” Hen asked sympathetically as she got back to her feet.

“Yeah,” Evan nodded. “Nothing too exciting. Just changing my name back and signing some forms so I can stay with the 118,”

“Damn straight you’re staying here,” Chimney ruffled his hair as the alarm went off. “Whelp, see you all later,”

“I’ll be back after I drop Evan at home,” Bobby told the team.

The team waved to them and ran off to climb into the trucks and they sped off toward an emergency.

“Could you actually drop me off at the loft?” Evan asked. “I’d like to get my car, get my mail, and clean some stuff before I think about moving back.”

Evan watched as several emotions played across Bobby’s face. “You’re going to move back soon?” He asked. “You can stay longer, you know.”

Evan nodded. “Yeah, I know,” he said. “But I should really get back to my place before I get back to work or I might never move out. That doesn’t mean I’m never going to see you, Dad. We work together, I’m still going to come over and bug you and Athena all the time. I’m sure I’ll make use of that bedroom. I’m not leaving you; I’m just going back to my apartment.”

“I just liked having you under my roof,” Bobby said, and he closed the distance between them. He wrapped his arms around him, holding him close. “I know you’re an adult, and you don’t really need me, but you’re my kid. You’re always going to be that little boy that loved going to work with daddy and carried around a stuffed raccoon to me, but I do get that you have your own life.”

“Yeah, that you’re a part of,” Evan gripped the back of his father’s shoulder, holding him close. “I’m always going to need you, you’re my dad.”

Bobby placed a hand on the back of Evan’s head as he kissed his temple.

“I love you,” He murmured.

“Love you, too, Dad,” Evan pressed his forehead against Bobby’s shoulder.

They left the firehouse pretty quickly after the team left. Bobby needed to drop Evan off and then get to work, he’d taken the morning off so that he could take him to his appointment. Bobby went and stood at the bottom of the pole and waited for Evan to slide down. He helped steady him when his feet hit the floor.

Bobby drove him to his apartment and parked next to the Jeep. “Do you have the keys?” he asked as they got out of the truck.

“Yeah,” Evan pulled his keyring out of his pocket and showed it to his father.

Bobby followed him up to the fourth floor and into the apartment. It was actually cleaner than Evan had left it.

“Did someone come in and clean?” He asked as he put his keys in the little bowl near the door.

“Hen and Karen did while you were missing,” Bobby said in a small voice. “Athena did your laundry. Eddie came and cleaned out your fridge while you were in the hospital.”

“I’ll have to thank them,” Evan said. “That was pretty much everything I was going to do,”

“No one got your mail, though, so there’s that,” Bobby said. “Are you just going home after you’re done here?”

“Yeah,” Evan nodded. “I’m going to bed early. I’m meeting Tommy at Harbor before dawn,”

Bobby’s eyebrows rose. Evan laughed and felt his cheeks and neck redden.

“He’s taking me on a helicopter ride at sunrise,” he said softly.

“Sounds romantic,” Bobby commented.

“Yeah, it does, doesn’t it?” Evan moved into the kitchen and started looking through the cabinets and the fridge. “I need to go grocery shopping next week.”

“Don’t rush yourself,” Bobby advised. “You know Athena and I will help you if you need it.”

Evan nodded and splayed his hands on the countertop. “Yeah, I know you would.” He said. “But, I’m doing good. Like really good, actually. For the first time in my life, that I can remember, I feel happy and content, and like I belong where I am. I don’t feel like I’m faking my way through my life. I’ve got a good thing going with my family, I’ve got great friends, and I’ve got a guy that… I’ve never felt like this before. There’s just something there and I feel really good about it.”

“I’m really happy for you, kiddo,” Bobby said, patting him on the shoulder. “Speaking of great friends, did your friends from Texas say when they’re coming over tomorrow?”

“We’re planning on six,” Evan said. “You’re sure you’re okay with cooking? T.K. said they’d bring dessert and snacks.”

“I figured we would grill,” Bobby told him. “Fair warning, I’m going to make Tommy help me. He’s really good on a grill.”

“He is?” Evan asked as innocently as he could, but Bobby saw right through him.

“He used to help me when we had grill outs at the station when he was still on the team.” Bobby nodded. “That’s about all the cooking he can do, but he’s a good baker.”

“Good to know,” Evan said. “Note to self: don’t let Tommy cook unless you want food poisoning.”

Bobby laughed and checked his watch. “Alright, I’ve got to get to work. Don’t push yourself too hard. Get your mail, get some more shoes, and go home.”

“Yes, Cap,” Evan rolled his eyes playfully.

“Bye, son,” Bobby left, closing the door behind him.

Evan looked around at the loft and took a breath. It hadn’t bothered him much before, how empty it was. Now he’d lived in a house full of people, full of life, and the loft was jarringly quiet.

He wasn’t sure what to do about that just yet.

Chapter 16: Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Text

Tommy met Evan at the back gate and had him leave the Jeep there. He pulled him into a quick kiss and hugged him, hand rubbing his back. Evan just kind of melted into him, still a little sleepy. Tommy chuckled and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“You still tired?” he asked sympathetically.

“Worth it,” Evan sighed. “We’re going on a romantic sunrise helicopter ride.”

Tommy pulled back from the hug far enough to gently kiss him. It was soft and sweet, and it made Evan feel like he was something precious.

“You’re going to love it,” Tommy promised. “Come on, I’ve got it all fueled up and ready to go.”

Tommy entwined their fingers and led Evan over to a yellow and white helicopter that was parked in the middle of the airfield. Tommy led him up close and opened a door. He helped Evan get in and buckled up before he handed him a headset, closed the door, and got in the pilot’s seat. Evan didn’t bother to remind him that he’d been in helicopters before, he liked that Tommy was taking care of him.

Evan watched as Tommy shut the door, buckled himself in, put his headset on, and started getting ready to take off. Tommy’s expression had become focused, there was a little furrow in his eyebrows and his jaw was set in a way that Evan hadn’t seen before. He wasn’t angry, he was in the zone.

God was he hot.

“You know, I never thought pilots were sexy until just now,” Evan said as Tommy started the helicopter up.

Tommy turned to look at him, a pleasantly surprised expression on his face.

“Oh yeah, is this doing it for you?” he asked amusem*nt in his voice.

“It’s not not doing it,” Evan teased him.

“Well, I’ll keep that in mind,” Tommy said, a big grin on his face, as he prepared to take off. “You ready?”

“Yeah,” Evan nodded, and Tommy took off. Evan turned to look out the window, watching as Harbor got smaller and further away. The city below them was bustling, even at five in the morning. “You said you fly for fun on your days off?”

“Yeah, it’s really relaxing to me,” Tommy confirmed.

“Before today, I wouldn’t have believed that for a second.” Evan huffed. “Every time I’ve been in a helicopter it was because something horrible was about to happen or had just happened.”

He looked over to watch Tommy’s face, the man didn’t take his eyes off the sky, but Evan could see how he stiffened up.

“But this is really nice.” Evan hurried to reassure him. “Nowhere we really have to be, just flying because we want to. The good company helps, too,”

“I’m glad I could help change your opinion on flying, then,” Tommy said sincerely. “It’s definitely one of my favorite things to do,”

“I’d better get used to it, then, huh?” Evan asked him with a grin. Tommy looked over at him, then, and smiled too.

He looked radiant and so in his element that it took Evan’s breath away.

“You really are gorgeous,” He murmured.

“So are you, baby,” Tommy told him.

Evan had a strong reaction to that. Heat flooded through him, and he bit his lip for a moment, trying to control his body and his mind. He wanted to hear Tommy call him that again.

“Baby,” Evan repeats. “I like that.”

Tommy gives him another one of those fond glances that had Evan melting in his seat.

Tommy flew them over the ocean, not too far out to sea, always keeping land in sight. After a while of traveling up the coast, Tommy nods to the horizon.

“Look,” He instructed. “Isn’t that beautiful?”

Evan gasped, looking at the sunrise. It painted the sky with beautiful shades of pink, orange, and yellow. Tommy was busy looking out at it, as well, so he didn’t immediately notice when Evan pulled his phone out and snapped a picture of him with the sunrise in the background.

“This is amazing,” Evan said as he put the phone back in his pocket. “I’ve never seen anything like it,”

“It never gets old,” Tommy said with a soft smile.

“Do you usually fly around this time?” Evan asked. “On your days off?”

“Yeah, or at sunset.” Tommy nodded as he turned back toward land. “I like watching the sky change.”

“I can see why,” Evan said peering up at the rapidly lightening sky. “Thank you for bringing me with you,”

“Maybe I can bring you next time, too,” Tommy said, looking over to gauge Evan’s reaction.

Evan smiled and bit his bottom lip; his cheeks began to heat up. “I’d like that,” he admitted. “I’m liking spending time with you.”

“I enjoy spending time with you, too, Evan,” Tommy said as he piloted them back to Harbor. “I’m enjoying getting to know you. I’d like to keep the date going, in fact, if you’re open to it,”

“What did you have in mind?” Evan asked, intrigued by how nervous Tommy appeared to be.

“I thought I could take you out to breakfast,” Tommy said. They began to hover over Harbor and Tommy went through the motions of touching down. “You can follow me to my house, and we can leave your car there. Then we could go back to my place, watch some T.V., you can meet my dog.”

“You have a dog?” Evan gasped, delighted. He’d always wanted a dog, but the Buckleys hadn’t let him, and then he was traveling so much that he couldn’t get one of his own, and then he had roommates, and now his apartment building doesn’t allow pets. “I love dogs,”

Tommy grinned. “His name’s Jax, he just turned a year old. He’s very friendly.”

Evan made a little awed sound that had Tommy grinning as he took his headset off and opened the door. He hopped out of the chopper and was on Evan’s side of the aircraft before he could unbuckle himself all the way.

Tommy immediately began to help and pulled the headset off him. He offered Evan a hand to help him out of the helicopter. Evan took Tommy’s hand, and the man used it to pull him into his chest and plant a chaste kiss on his lips.

“You have no right to be so charming,” Evan murmured against his lips.

“You love it,” Tommy said as he tilted his head to press a kiss to his cheek. “Come on, let’s grab my truck and I’ll drop you at your car.”

Tommy used the hand already holding Evan’s to pull him through the building, past a handful of firefighters that were going through the motions of doing their jobs, and out a door to a parking lot. Tommy led him to a big gray truck, and he pulled him around to the passenger side. Evan watched in wonder as Tommy opened the door for him and gestured for him to get in.

“You really are a charmer,” Evan said fondly.

“Only the best for you, baby,” Tommy winked.

Evan felt the blush creeping up his cheeks and he got into the truck. Tommy closed the door behind him and got into the driver’s seat. He drove them around Harbor to the back gate and parked on the street. Evan got out of the truck and looked back surprised as Tommy followed.

“You don’t have to walk me to my car,” Evan told him, an easy grin on his face. “I’m following you home,”

“I want to,” Tommy said as they made it to the driver’s side door of Evan’s jeep. Tommy leaned against the rear door and looked at him with a smile on his face. “I want to treat you the way that you deserve, Evan. I want you to treat you so well that you realize those girls you dated didn’t deserve you. So, I’m going to walk you to your car, and I’m going to open doors for you, and I’m going to take you on romantic dates, and kiss you, and hold you, and I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure you end up as crazy about me as I already am for you.”

“Maybe I already am,” Evan countered.

Tommy stepped into Evan’s space and placed a hand on his hip. He leaned in and pressed his lips to Evan’s.

“There’s no ‘maybe’ about it for me, baby,” He murmured. “I know it’s fast, and I don’t want to pressure you, but I’m crazy about you, Evan.”

Evan leaned forward and kissed him again. “I’m in this,” he said, wrapping an arm around Tommy’s back. Tommy took the opportunity and wrapped Evan in his arms, holding him close. “I’m in this with you, Tommy.” He kissed him again. “Now, let’s go get breakfast because I’m starving.”

Tommy laughed and he leaned in, pressing a kiss to Evan’s cheek and then he buried his face in his neck. Evan shuddered delightedly as he felt Tommy’s stubble brush against his skin and he felt his lips press a kiss to his neck.

Tommy pulled back and smiled, eyes shining.

“Alright, follow me.” He instructed. “I don’t live far.”

“Okay,” Evan climbed into his Jeep and Tommy waited until his door was shut before he jogged back to his truck. Evan backed out and idled behind the truck. Tommy started the truck up and pulled away from the curb, Evan followed behind him. He admired the houses in the neighborhood they drove through, it took them about ten minutes to get to Tommy’s place and Evan couldn’t help but whistle as they pulled up to the house.

Tommy parked on the street but got out and waved for Evan to park in the driveway. Evan did as his date instructed and turned the engine off. He looked out the windshield at the house. It was really nice. A light beige color, two-story house with an attached garage.

Evan got out of his car and found Tommy standing nearby, watching him closely.

“This is really nice,” Evan complimented.

Tommy smiled. “You haven’t even seen the inside, yet,” he grabbed Evan’s hand and entwined their fingers. “Come on, let’s go get breakfast.”

Evan looked back over his shoulder at the house and saw a dog watching them out the window.

“Aw,” He said. “Jax is cute,”

Tommy looked back at the house as well and smiled at the sight of his pet.

“Oh, he’s pissed,” Tommy laughed. “How dare we leave without saying hi?”

He opened the passenger door and let Evan climb in.

“Now I feel bad,” Evan said.

“We’ll be back soon,” Tommy promised, and he shut the door.

Chapter 17: Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Text

They had breakfast at a nice little café just outside of the neighborhood that Tommy frequented. It was a small, independently owned place that didn’t get a lot of traffic. He figured it would be the best place to take Evan so they could have an intimate little date and just talk and get to know one another.

They’d gotten a table toward the back, in their own little intimate corner. Tommy had reached out and gently held Evan’s hand until their food arrived. He couldn’t help but smile when Evan gripped his fingers in return.

When the check came, Tommy snatched it before Evan had a chance to. Evan had tried to fight him on it, but Tommy grabbed his hand, and placed a kiss on the back of it, he looked into Evan’s eyes as he pulled away.

“Let me take care of it this time?” He murmured.

Evan’s brain seemed to short-circuit for a moment which was flattering as hell. He nodded, lips slightly parted.

“Yeah, okay,” he said quietly.

“Great,” Tommy smiled.

He paid the check and then took Evan by the hand, lacing their fingers together, and led him out of the café and back to his truck. He opened the passenger side door for Evan and got to watch, again, as Evan blushed and got this pleased little smile on his face.

It was fascinating, how something so simple got such an adorable reaction out of the man. It made him grin all the wider as he shut the door behind him and climbed into the driver’s seat. He buckled his seatbelt and looked over at Evan to find him already looking at him fondly.

“Ready to go?” Tommy asked.

Evan grinned and replied in the affirmative.

Tommy drove them back to the house and parked in the driveway behind Evan’s jeep. Which filled him with feelings that were too much too soon. He liked seeing Evan’s jeep in front of his house. He liked the idea of them going home together, but it wasn’t Evan’s home. Not yet.

They walked up to the front door, Evan trailing behind him with his hands in his jacket pockets. He stood behind him on the porch as Tommy unlocked the door and held it open for Evan to enter ahead of him.

Evan gave him a nervous little smile before he crossed the threshold and he stood in the entryway, looking around appraisingly. Tommy hesitated before following after him. He was nervous that Evan wouldn’t like the house. He’d cleaned obsessively last night, making sure that everything was in its place and that everything looked aesthetically pleasing. But what if what was aesthetically pleasing to Tommy wasn’t aesthetically pleasing to Evan? What if he hated everything?

He closed the front door behind him and looked around at what Evan was looking at.

The entryway had a closet immediately to the left and the walls were painted white. The floors were hardwood. There were a few decorations, an entryway table where Tommy set his keys, and a decorative mirror above it.

Tommy chanced a look at Evan’s face and found that he was drinking in every little detail with a smile on his face. Tommy felt his shoulders relax slightly and he looked toward the archway that led into the living room as he heard the tell-tale sound of paws beating against the hardwood floor.

Jax rounded the corner at a full-on sprint and beelined straight for Evan. Tommy took a step forward, ready to pull the over-excited dog off his date, but Evan dropped to his knees and accepted the assault with a loud, happy laugh.

“Hello!” Evan said sweetly as Jax started licking his face enthusiastically. “Oh, hello, you are just beautiful. Yes, you are,”

Tommy kicked his shoes off, set them on the shoe rack under the entryway table, and knelt beside Evan and Jax. He laughed as Jax practically vibrated and climbed into Evan’s lap. He reached out and ran a hand over the dog’s fur and met Evan’s eyes as Jax finally stopped licking him.

“Wow, he really likes you,” Tommy commented.

“I like him too,” Evan said as he petted Tommy’s dog, too. “He’s adorable,”

“I agree,” Tommy smiled. “And so’s the dog,”

Evan turned a gorgeous shade of pink as Tommy stood up and offered him a hand. Evan took and it stood up, Jax whining sadly as his new friend turned his attention to his owner.

“Come on, I’ll give you a tour,” Tommy offered. “If you’d like,”

“I’d love a tour,” Evan agreed enthusiastically.

“Okay,” Tommy said, nerves flaring up again. He entwined his fingers with Evan’s and gently tugged him into the living room. Tommy had tried to go for a clean yet lived-in look. There wasn’t much clutter, but he still tried to make the house feel cozy.

There was a good-sized sectional and an armchair that matched, set up facing the mounted flatscreen over the fireplace. The sectional had throw pillows on it and a quilt draped over the back. The coffee table had a book that Tommy had been reading set on it and a pair of coasters. There was a nice area rug that Tommy had bought years ago positioned under the table and tucked under the couch.

Tommy looked at Evan to gauge his reaction. Maybe he should have put the book away. Or the coasters probably would have looked better stacked rather than set out like that.

“This is really nice,” Evan said. “Did you decorate yourself?”

“I did, yeah,” Tommy nodded.

“Maddie helped decorate my place,” Evan admitted. “She said if I was left to my own devices I’d just leave everything the way it had been.”

Tommy laughed. “Well, I actually enjoy a little decorating. I wanted this place to feel like a home. I wanted it to feel lived in, even if I’m not here very often.”

“Well, you succeeded,” Evan told him.

Tommy smiled and pulled Evan toward the kitchen. “Kitchen’s in here, dining room through there.”

Evan looked at everything with fascination, making Tommy stop in each room for a few minutes so he could examine them. He complimented the size and style of the kitchen. Tommy had been forced to tell him that he wasn’t much of a cook. He spent very little time in the kitchen.

Evan, however, had smiled at him shyly and told him that he loves to cook, and he would love to cook for Tommy one day. Tommy had to beat back images of Evan standing in his kitchen, cooking for them. Him standing at the stove and Tommy coming up behind him, wrapping his arms around his waist, pressing kisses to Evan’s neck.

“Um, there’s also a guest room and a half-bath down that hallway,” Tommy pointed. “And out here, is the backyard,”

He led Evan out a sliding glass door onto the covered patio. Evan walked out to the edge of the patio and looked at the large backyard that Tommy had made sure was mowed, and the inground pool that Tommy had cleaned, as well.

“Do you and Jax go swimming?” Evan asked with a teasing smile.

“It’s hard to get him out of there sometimes,” Tommy admitted with an exasperated sigh.

Evan laughed and they went back inside, and Tommy brought him down to the basem*nt.

“It’s nothing fancy, but it’s a nice place to hang out, I guess.” He said as he flipped the lights on. “Little lounge area over there and a home gym. The Muay Thai setup is in the garage, though.” Tommy explained. “There’s also a full bathroom in there and that’s the laundry room.”

Evan checked the lounge area out before wandering over to the gym corner.

“This is a really nice setup,” Evan complimented him.

Tommy shrugged. “A lot of it is secondhand,”

“In nice condition, though,” Evan didn’t let him dodge the compliment.

They went back upstairs, and Tommy led him up to the second floor. Evan peeked into the two guest bedrooms. They were sparse, one of them had a bed and the other one was completely empty. He glanced into the hall bathroom and then they entered Tommy’s bedroom.

It was the master suite so it was larger than any of the other bedrooms in the house. It was pretty minimalist, but it was clean. There wasn’t much more than his bed, king-sized because he’d splurged, the nightstands, and the TV that was mounted above his dresser.

Tommy pointed to the three closed doors in the room. “There’s two walk-in closets and that’s an ensuite bathroom,”

“This is really nice, Tommy,” Evan told him. “You have a really beautiful home,”

“I’m glad you like it,” Tommy said, shoving his hands in his pockets. “I want you to be comfortable spending time here.”

Evan smiled and wrapped his arms around Tommy’s neck. He leaned in for a kiss that Tommy readily returned. Evan ran his fingers through Tommy’s hair and Tommy moaned into Evan’s mouth, placing his hands on Evan’s hips.

They kissed slowly but sensually. It was more heated than any other kiss they’d shared, even if it wasn’t frantic and they weren’t trying to take each other’s clothes off. It was intimate and emotional. And it was starting to get Tommy too excited.

He could feel Evan’s entire body pressed up against him. His toned chest and abdominals. Their hips were pressed flush together. Evan’s strong arms were still wrapped around him and his nose was smushed against Tommy’s cheek as they brought their lips together, over and over again.

Evan’s tongue slid against Tommy’s and this time they both moaned. Heat rushed through Tommy’s body and he felt himself start to get aroused. He knew that he needed to stop this now and move them to a room where he was less likely to lay Evan out and have his wicked way with him.

“Okay,” Tommy pulled back. “I need to get you into a room without a bed,”

He stared down at him and could see the lust in his eyes. He wanted to cave and push the man onto the bed and crawl on top of him. But Tommy was right in saying that they needed to leave the bedroom. They needed more time to get to know one another. More time to fall in love with each other, because when he and Evan slept together, Tommy wanted it to mean something. He didn’t want it to just be to get off or because they thought the other person was attractive. He wanted it to be because they cared about each other.

“I think you said we’d watch some TV,” Evan said, moving back out of Tommy’s grip. “Living room?”

Tommy nodded and followed him out of the bedroom and back down the stairs.

“This place must have cost you a fortune,” Evan said as he looked around the living room. “How’d you afford it on a firefighter’s salary?”

“It didn’t look like this when I bought it,” Tommy said heading toward the kitchen to grab them some beers. Evan followed behind him, hanging on to every word. “It was really run down. The people who owned it had been renting it out, but their last tenants screwed the place up so bad they couldn’t afford to fix it. I bought it off them for really cheap, it was a steal, honestly, and it took me the better part of ten years to get it to be a nice place to live. Then I started adding luxuries, like the pool, and renovating bathrooms and kitchens. I added the bathroom in the basem*nt, and the fireplace in the living room.”

“Wow, I’m impressed,” Evan said, leaning against the counter. “Well, you did an incredible job. This house is amazing.”

Tommy felt an inexplicable feeling of absolute relief. What difference did it really make if Evan didn’t approve of the way he’d decorated his home? They didn’t live together. And if one day, they did move in together, they could make those changes as they needed to.

But Tommy really liked that Evan was so approving of his home. He liked that Evan looked so comfortable there, too. He looked relaxed and happy, and just so at ease. He looked so good in Tommy’s house and damn was Tommy considering just keeping him there.

He’d known from the moment that he laid eyes on Evan that he was something special. He’d known from the first time he’d kissed him that he was going to fall in love with him. Tommy had never believed in true love or soulmates before he’d met Evan, but he was starting to wonder if there was some truth to the idea.

How else could he explain the way that he felt about the man in front of him? How else could he explain the way that he was drawn to him, the way that he already cared so much about him and they’d been seeing each other – not even dating – for a little more than a week? There was no rational explanation for the way that he craved Evan in a way that wasn’t purely sexual. He wanted a life with him, he wanted a partnership. He wanted to be the first thought in the man’s mind in the morning and the last before he went to sleep. He wanted everything with him and it’d only been a week.

What was that if it wasn’t destiny?

“What is it?” Evan asked softly as Tommy gazed at him.

Tommy shook his head. “Nothing,”

“Are you sure?” Evan pressed as he stepped in closer.

Tommy grabbed two beers out of the fridge and handed one to Evan before wrapping an arm around his waist. He pressed a kiss to Evan’s forehead. Evan seemed to lean into the touch, so Tommy let himself linger, keeping his lips against Evan’s skin for a little longer than he normally would before he pulled away and pressed his cheek against Evan’s forehead instead.

“I don’t want to spook you,” Tommy murmured.

Evan set his beer on the counter and wrapped his arms around Tommy. His head came to rest on his shoulder and Tommy reached up to run his fingers through his hair for a moment before letting it drop back down to his waist.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Evan promised. “I want to know what you’re thinking,”

Tommy took a deep breath and blew it out. He tightened his hold on Evan.

“Honestly?” He whispered. It was irrational, but he was afraid if he spoke too loud, it would drive Evan away. “I’m terrified by how strongly I feel for you already. We’ve had two real dates and that’s it. But there’s just something about you, Evan, it’s what I always imagined meeting your soulmate would be like.”

Evan took a deep breath and brought one of his hands up to cup the back of Tommy’s neck.

“While I was fixing this house up, I kept imagining what it would be like to have someone I loved living here with me,” Tommy admitted. “I wanted to make it perfect for me, yeah, but also for whoever I ended up falling in love with. Now, I can’t help but imagine you here.”

Evan leaned back and caught Tommy’s lips with his own.

Tommy loved kissing Evan. It was different from kissing any of his past partners. Before, there had always been something more that they wanted from him or that he’d wanted from them. With Evan, it was just to show how they felt about each other. It was a comfort, it was an affirmation, it was an “I care about you,”

“When the time comes,” Evan murmured as he pulled back to look Tommy in the eyes. “I would be honored to live here with you. You’ve made a beautiful home here, Tommy. For now, I’m grateful that you’ve invited me to spend time with you here. And that you introduced me to my new best friend, Jax,”

Evan smiled as Tommy laughed.

“But, in all seriousness, I feel the same way that you do,” Evan said. “It’s intimidating how strongly I feel for you in so little time, but you know they’ve done studies on falling in love. There’s no real timeline for how fast it takes people to fall in love. For some people, it happens instantaneously, or it happens in weeks, months, or years. We can just go at our pace. Keep talking about it, do what we want to do when it feels right to us, and damn everybody else.”

Tommy smiled and brought his hand up to caress the side of Evan’s face.

“You’re right,” Tommy murmured. He pressed a featherlight kiss to the burn on Evan’s eye. “We’ll do this our way. Lots of communication and giving no f*cks about what anyone else thinks,”

Evan laughed and pressed a kiss to Tommy’s chin. “Exactly. Who cares?”

“Who cares?” Tommy repeated.

Chapter 18: Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Text

The rest of the morning and the beginning of the afternoon had been like a dream. He’d laid in Tommy’s arms for most of the day as they watched trashy TV until Jax had gotten jealous. The dog had tried to climb on top of them making them both laugh good-naturedly. Evan climbed out of Tommy’s arms, although the man had tried to pull him back, and grabbed one of Jax’s tennis balls. He went into the backyard and Tommy had followed them, watching from the patio as Evan played with his dog.

Evan had gone back to Bobby’s house around four in the afternoon to start getting ready for game night. Tommy had promised to come over soon, he had wanted to shower and change. So, Evan had kissed him goodbye and told him that he’d see him soon.

Athena and Bobby had given him little smirks when he walked back into the house, but Evan just smiled right back at them.

“How was your day?” Athena asked him.

“It was actually really great,” Evan said earnestly. “The sunrise was amazing, the view from the helicopter, I mean there’s nothing like it. After that, we went and got breakfast, and then went back to his house. His dog is so adorable.”

“He has a house?” Bobby asked. “And a dog?”

“Yeah, his place is really nice,” Evan said. “He bought it when it was really crappy, and he’s been fixing it up for years. It’s amazing, really, really nice. And his dog, Jax, is so cute. Very friendly.”

Both his parents had soft smiles on their faces. They looked happy for him.

“It sounds like you had a good day, baby,” Athena said. “Your friends will be here soon, right?”

“Yeah,” Evan went to stand next to his dad who was setting out a bunch of meat. “Whatcha got there, old man?”

Bobby lightly shoved him before he wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

“Hamburger, chicken, brats, and hotdogs,” He answered. “We also made some potato salad, baked beans, we’ve got chips and dip, a cheese platter, some fruit, and veggies,”

“TK said they’d bring snacks and dessert,” Evan informed him. “I don’t know what he meant by snacks, though. I stopped on the way back and bought some beer, wine, and mineral water,”

“Mineral water?” Athena raised her eyebrows.

“TK’s sober,” Evan explained. “He prefers mineral water, must be a New York thing.”

“Hmm,” Bobby looked at the bottles of water before he started putting the beverages in the fridge. “Can you go set the patio up and get the grill ready? As soon as your boyfriend gets here, I’m putting him to work.”

“Uhm,” Evan picked up the stuff Athena had laid out for the grill. “You know, we haven’t put a label on it yet, so if you could refrain from calling him that.. I don’t want to scare him off.”

“Yeah, of course,” Bobby said earnestly. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to imply anything.”

Evan looked at him incredulously. “We basically are,” he shrugged. “we just haven’t put that label on it yet. It’s all good,”

He went out onto the patio and set everything up. Athena called for him when there was a knock on the door. Evan hurried to the door and pulled it open. Almost immediately he had TK in his arms, almost pushing him down the stairs.

Evan wrapped his arms around his friend and laughed. TK was holding onto him so tight that the breath was knocked out of him, and he could barely draw any more air back in.

“TK!” Carlos scolded him. “You gotta give him a minute before you attack him.”

“It’s my best friend!” TK cheered, right into Evan’s ear. “I’m so happy to see you!”

“I’m happy to see you, too,” Evan laughed as TK released him, and then Carlos hugged him.

“Hi!” Carlos greeted him cheerfully.

“Hey, man, how’s it going?” Evan clapped him on the back and immediately found himself swept into another hug.

Judd didn’t hug him as long as TK or Carlos, but he damn near broke a rib as he squeezed the younger man. He moved out of the way so his wife, Grace, could give him a gentle hug.

“Hi, sweetheart,” Grace greeted him. “I’m so glad you’re alright. TK told us all about you. You were in our prayers the entire time,”

“Thank you,” Evan said sincerely. “I really appreciate that.”

He spotted the bags in Judd’s hands. “I can take that for you,” he offered, and Judd handed them to him.

Carlos held up his hand, he also had a few bags. “Lead the way,” He said.

“You guys didn’t have to bring so much,” Evan told them. “We’ve got plenty of food, and I stopped to get some booze and mineral water, too,”

“You don’t ever go to someone’s house empty-handed,” Judd said seriously.

“That’s right,” Grace agreed. “We got some jerky, cheese balls, and pretzels. And for dessert, we got some cheesecake, some chocolate cake, and an apple pie,”

“Wow, you really didn’t need to do that, but thank you, that all sounds delicious,”

“This is your dad’s house?” TK asked as Evan led them into the living room and into the direction of the kitchen.

“Uh, he married into it,” Evan answered. “But yeah, I’m staying here until I move back into my loft this week.”

“It’s nice,” Judd said. Evan glanced back at him to see him looking around with an impressed look on his face.

“Thank you,” Athena said brightly as they came into the kitchen.

Evan put the bags on the counter and Carlos followed suit. Bobby immediately started going through them and he put the things that needed to be refrigerated into the fridge.

“Guys, this is my stepmom, Sergeant Athena Grant, and my dad, Fire Captain Bobby Nash,” Evan introduced. “Dad, Athena, this is Officer Carlos Reyes, TK Strand, he’s a paramedic, Firefighter Judd Ryder, and his wife Grace who is a 9-1-1 dispatcher,”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you all,” Bobby smiled. “None of you are vegetarian or vegan, right? We’ve got a bunch of meat here to grill,”

“No, sir,” Judd said happily. “We’re a bunch of meat eaters.”

Bobby grinned. “That’s what I like to hear. We’ll start grilling when Tommy gets here,”

“Oh good, Tommy’s coming,” TK grinned at Evan.

“I told you I’d invite him,” Evan said, pushing TK’s shoulder.

Athena engaged Carlos in conversation about his job while Judd and Grace started talking to Bobby. TK pulled Evan over toward the patio doors to talk, just the two of them.

“How was your date this morning?” TK asked like a teenage girl.

“It was amazing,” Evan told him. “We went up in the helicopter before sunrise and watched the sunrise over the ocean. Then he told me that he wanted to keep the date going, so we went to this little café near his house and had breakfast.”

“Who paid?” TK asked,

“He did,” Evan answered.

TK made an impressed sound and waited for Evan to continue.

“We went back to his house, I met his dog, and he gave me a tour,” Evan told him. “He, uh,” Evan smiled. “he told me that there’s just something about me and that it’s what he always imagined meeting his soulmate would be like,”

TK’s face softened. “Oh my God, that’s so romantic,”

“I know,” Evan said quietly. “We spent most of the day watching horrible reality TV and he just held me on the couch. It felt so right, TK. It felt.. safe and happy and right.”

“That’s how I feel with Carlos,” TK looked over at his boyfriend who was having an animated conversation with Athena. “Maybe you met the one,”

“And I have my brother-in-law to thank for it,” Evan said. “He decided to play matchmaker,”

TK laughed. “Buy him a fruit basket,”

Evan chuckled and there was a knock on the door before it opened, and Tommy slipped inside. He spotted Evan immediately and beelined toward him.

“Hey, babe,” Evan said quietly as Tommy came to stand beside him and wrapped an arm around his waist.

Evan breathed him in. He smelled amazing, he’d definitely showered and put on some cologne that had Evan weak in the knees. He’d changed his clothes and now he was wearing a nice henley and a dark pair of jeans.

He looked incredible.

“Hey, baby. Long time no see,” Tommy pressed a kiss to his temple.

“Yeah, almost two hours,” Evan smiled up at the older man.

Tommy laughed and looked over at TK. He smiled before offering him a hand to shake.

“Hi, I’m Tommy Kinard,”

“Oh, I know,” TK smiled. “I’m TK Strand. It’s nice to meet you, Tommy.”

“I’ve heard a lot about you,” Tommy said.

“I’m not as bad as he makes me sound,” TK joked.

“Oh, so you didn’t save his life last year?” Tommy played along.

“That I definitely did,” TK said quickly. “It was like Captain America meets Superman. Pushed him out of the way of a car that was on fire and coming straight for him. It was nothing short of heroic, honestly,”

Evan scoffed. “I would have gotten out of the way,”

“Yeah,” TK said. “When it knocked your ass out of the way,”

“Thanks, man,” Evan said as he wrapped an arm around Tommy’s waist. The pilot was laughing as he pulled Evan closer to his side.

“Tommy!” Bobby cheered. “You’re helping me on the grill. Just like old times,”

“Sure thing, Cap!” Tommy said. He looked down at Evan and the younger man was surprised to find there wasn’t even a trace of annoyance on Tommy’s face. He seemed perfectly happy to help Evan’s dad grill their food.

Evan smiled at his… date. They really did need to label their relationship. Tommy smiled back and kissed his forehead. He unwound his arm from Evan’s waist and prepared to go help Bobby when Carlos approached them, beer in hand.

“Hey, I’m Carlos, TK’s boyfriend,” he offered Tommy his free hand. He had an easy smile on his face.

“Nice to meet you, Officer Reyes,” Tommy greeted politely, shaking his hand.

Carlos’ lips twitched in amusem*nt. “You can just call me Carlos. Are you free tomorrow? TK, Judd, Grace, and I were going to take Evan out for lunch. We could make it a triple date.”

“That sounds great,” Tommy nodded in agreement. “I’d love to join you,”

“But for now,” Bobby came up and handed Tommy several packages of meat. “he will be joining me. Come on, Kinard,”

“Yes, sir,” Tommy pressed another kiss to Evan’s head and followed Bobby out onto the patio.

“Hey, y’all!” Evan turned to see Hen, Karen, Maddie, and Chimney pile into the house.

“Is that Helicopter Hen?” Judd demanded. “Get on in here, girl!”

Evan watched as Judd and Grace introduced themselves to the newcomers. Hen, Karen, and Maddie hugged the both of them. Chimney shook their hands. The group started a whole new discussion about the wildfire last year as Judd and Hen detailed the daring rescue after the helicopter crash.

“He seems nice,” Carlos said, nodding toward Tommy.

Evan looked over to see him and Bobby working the grill while talking amicably. They both had smiles on their faces, and it made Evan relax a little.

“He is,” Evan agreed. “He’s very nice,”

“Evan said Tommy thinks they’re soulmates,” TK whispered conspiratorially.

“No, he said that the way that he feels about me is what he imagined meeting his soulmate would be like,” Evan corrected under his breath.

“Sounds like the same thing to me,” TK shrugged.

Carlos chuckled. “I have to agree, that sounds like he was saying you’re soulmates,”

“Don’t you gang up on me, Reyes,” Evan pointed at Carlos.

“Hey,” Chimney came over and gripped Evan’s shoulder. “I’m Chimney, Evan’s brother-in-law,”

Carlos and TK introduced themselves and Chimney turned to Evan.

“You guys talking about your man?” Chimney grinned.

Evan sighed and smiled at Chimney. “Thank you, Chim, for introducing us. It’s going really well. You were right.”

Chimney gave him a large, genuine smile and wrapped Evan in a hug.

“I’m happy for you, kid,” he murmured. “you deserve to be happy. You deserve to have someone treat you right. I know Kinard, he’s going to do right by you.”

“I know,” Evan said. “He’s a good guy,”

He pulled out of the hug and patted Chimney on the shoulder. “TK here was a firefighter when we met, but he went to the dark side and became a paramedic, kinda like you did after you joined the 118,”

Chimney lit up and started rattling off a bunch of questions for the younger paramedic. Carlos caught Evan’s eye and chuckled.

***

“No! You’re cheating!” Hen yelled at Eddie.

“Honey, it’s just a game,” Karen said soothingly.

“Oh, no,” Evan shook his head. “We don’t play games at the 118,”

“What the hell do you mean?” Judd asked.

“We endeavor to continuously improve upon our cognitive abilities while engaging in strategy-building tournaments with our peers,” Eddie recited.

Judd, Carlos, TK, Grace, Bobby, Athena, and Tommy all looked at him incredulously.

“That sounded like a whole lotta bullsh*t,” Judd told him bluntly.

Tommy laughed as he took another swig of his beer. His arm was draped over the back of the couch behind Evan’s shoulders. Every once in a while he let his fingers brush against his shoulder.

“Do you even understand half of what you just said?” TK asked Eddie.

“We train our minds to think strategically by participating in team-building activities,” Eddie told TK.

“You play games,” Carlos told him.

“That’s slander,” Evan pointed at the cop. “You should be ashamed of yourself.”

Evan felt Tommy’s chest rumble with laughter from where he was pressed up against him.

“Hey, at least I own it,” Carlos held his hands up. “We have game nights every week.”

“126 night,” TK grinned. “We play Catan,”

“We usually play Mario Kart,” Hen informed the paramedic.

“It gets intense,” Tommy added. “Chimney nearly threw Evan off the bed,”

“Sore loser,” Evan muttered and got a pillow thrown in his face.

The room around them erupted in laughter.

Evan looked over at his sister and her boyfriend to find Maddie looking at him, practically glowing with happiness as she took him in. He wondered what he and Tommy looked like in that moment, Tommy’s arm resting on the couch behind him and Evan pressed up against his side. Did they look like a couple? Did they look like they belonged together?

He met Maddie’s eye and she grinned and nodded subtly like she was giving her approval.

Evan looked away from her and back up at Tommy. Tommy looked down at him and he quirked a brow like he was silently asking if Evan was okay. Evan nodded and Tommy’s lips curved in a small smile before he looked back at Carlos who was ranting about why Catan was far superior to Mario Kart, much to the amusem*nt of everyone else.

Evan relaxed further into Tommy’s side and Tommy’s arm moved from the back of the couch to rest around Evan’s shoulders, holding him close.

He could get used to this.

Chapter 19: Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Text

They’d picked a hole-in-the-wall Chinese restaurant a few blocks away from the firehouse. Evan had frequented the joint ever since they’d responded to a call there and one of the owners had given him a tub of soup after he’d pulled him from the fire.

The couple who owned the place were older, probably in their sixties, and they were some of the sweetest people that Evan had ever met. Every time he came in, they managed to spot him before he did them. They would personally stop by his table and ensure that everything was to his satisfaction, and they’d comp the meal despite his protests.

That’s part of the reason that he wouldn’t have suggested the place if Judd and TK hadn’t asked to see the 118 firehouse. Since they were in the neighborhood, it was just easier all around to stop at the restaurant and eat and then make their way over to the house. Besides, TK had expressed an interest in getting Chinese, and Evan couldn’t possibly take them anywhere else.

The hostess led them to a table toward the edge of the dining room near a set of windows that overlooked the busy Los Angeles street and before everyone could so much as open their windows, Mr. and Mrs. Zhang were standing at the end of the table.

“Mr. Firefighter Buckley!” Mr. Zhang crowed.

“Hey, Mr. Zhang,” Evan grinned. “How are you?”

“I am well!” Mr. Zhang clapped his hands together happily. “You brought friends this time,”

That startled a laugh out of Evan. “Uh, yeah,” he said. “I don’t always eat alone, you know,”

“Just most of the time,” Mr. Zhang said easily as if that were perfectly normal. “Order everything, it is on us!”

“You can’t keep doing that, Mr. Zhang,” Evan told him.

“If not for you, we would be dead,” Mrs. Zhang told him sternly. “You eat free forever. Your friends, too,”

With that the couple turned around and left, not letting Evan argue anymore. He turned back to the table, half of them seemed to be suppressing laughter.

“Yeah, they’re real funny,” Evan said as he set his menu down. He’d been there enough that he knew exactly what he was going to get.

“Have you never brought anyone here before?” Carlos asked.

“Nah,” Evan shook his head. “I usually come here after a shift or something. Everyone else goes home because they’ve got wives or girlfriends or kids, you know? I’ve never been in any real hurry to get home, the only thing waiting for me there is a bed.”

Grace frowned. “How are you doing, honey?” She asked him so sincerely that it almost brought tears to his eyes. She reached across the table to take his hand in hers.

Evan looked around the table. Tommy looked as surprised as Evan felt, but Judd, TK, and Carlos didn’t seem fazed. Everyone was looking at the pair of them and, with no help from anyone else, Evan was forced to look back at Grace and swallow nervously.

“Um, I’m fine, how are you?” he said uncertainly as he curled his fingers around hers, loosely returning the hold that she had on him.

Grace laughed lightly and patted his hand. “No, I mean with your accident and then finding out about your father and your past, that must have been so hard on you.”

He looked into her eyes and saw only kindness and genuine concern. She hardly knew him. She had probably heard secondhand stories from TK, Carlos, and Judd, maybe the other members of the 126 if they even remembered him. But she cared about him; a virtual stranger.

Evan had always had a problem with oversharing, but it was a problem that he’d been working on with his therapist, Dr. Copeland. He was working on establishing boundaries, both with others and with himself. But the look in Grace’s eyes made him want to tear down the walls he’d built and be honest with her, instead of just saying that everything was fine and moving on to a more comfortable topic.

Evan sighed and allowed himself to be open with her.

“I’ve actually never felt so settled and so… right and at ease. Ever.” He admitted. “I feel like I’ve been going through life feeling so out of place and it’s like suddenly everything makes sense now.”

“I think that’s wonderful,” Grace told him and he believed her. “I’m happy for you,”

“Thanks, Grace,” Evan smiled.

“What suddenly makes sense?” TK asked. “Like, just why you felt weird in the Buckley family or?”

“Why they treated me so differently from Maddie,” Evan shrugged. “Why they didn’t care about me and why I felt like such an outsider. I was never good enough for them, you know. They wanted their son; they didn’t really want me. It’s like I was a consolation prize, but not even that was good enough.”

Judd clasped his hands on the table and looked pensive. “But you have a daddy who loves you,” he said. “Who has always loved you, even if you weren’t aware of it. I think that it’s wonderful that you are feeling great right now, but you went through some serious trauma, kid. If you’re not already in therapy I think that’s something you’ve got to look into because that sh*t creeps up on you.”

“I am in therapy,” Evan nodded. “I got back into that right after I got out of the hospital because the nightmares were god awful,”

“You were having nightmares?” Tommy asked, looking concerned.

“About falling and drowning,” Evan explained. “Not being able to get to the surface.”

The images and feelings started to creep back into his mind. The darkness of the water, the disorientation, the panic, the inability to breathe.

Evan straightened up, tried to push the feelings away, and turned to Carlos, an awkward smile on his face.

“So, what’s it like being a cop?” He asked with forced cheerfulness.

Carlos looked taken aback by the change in subject, but he also straightened up and nodded.

“Uh, it’s fine,” he said. “I’m sure you hear a lot from your stepmom,”

Athena usually told stories about her day at the dinner table, Evan had asked questions about what her job entailed, and his stepmother was always kind enough to answer his questions in detail. She never seemed to be annoyed by the inquiries, in fact, she seemed pleased that he took an interest in her life outside of their household.

“Well, she’s a sergeant,” Evan said with a little shrug. “You have a different job, right?”

“Yeah, I’m a patrol officer,” Carlos confirmed. “It’s not as exciting.”

“Patrol. That means you drive around all day?” Evan asked.

Conversation flowed easily after that. They were briefly interrupted by the server coming to take their orders and then when the food was brought to them.

Evan had successfully gotten the attention off him and he was able to learn more about his friends.

He learned that Grace and Judd were expecting a baby. He and Tommy enthusiastically congratulated them and asked if they had found the sex out, yet. Evan asked them to let him know when they did find out so that he could send the little one gifts.

Grace and Judd, of course, told him that it wasn’t necessary but Tommy waved a hand and said that they wanted to. Butterflies erupted in Evan’s stomach at the casual insinuation that in seven months time, Evan and Tommy would still be together.

TK had met Evan’s eye and grinned at him, knowing exactly what Tommy’s offhanded comment had done to the man.

Evan also learned that Carlos’ father was a Texas Ranger and his mother had once called TK ‘TJ’ and he and Carlos had nearly broken up over them.

“You almost broke up because his mom called you the wrong name?” Tommy asked, his tone wasn’t judgmental, just confused.

“No,” TK said, shaking his head. “we almost broke up because Carlos introduced me as his friend.”

“Oh,” Tommy said in understanding. “that makes more sense,”

“I thought it would be easier,” Carlos sounded ashamed. “my parents just kind of ignored the fact that I’m gay, but we’ve got it all straightened out now. They love TK.”

Overall, the lunch date had been one of the best outings that Evan had had in quite some time. He found himself wishing that TK, Carlos, Grace, and Judd could just pack their lives up and move to L.A. permanently. He had fun with them, they were good people, good friends, and good company.

That’s not to say, of course, that Evan didn’t enjoy spending time with his friends who did live in L.A. Eddie, Hen, and Chimney were amazing. He loved them so much, they were his family, but they got busy pretty often. They had families and responsibilities, and more often than not, he only saw them at work unless they were hosting some sort of gathering at Bobby and Athena’s.

Tommy seemed to enjoy the date as well. He particularly seemed to jive with Judd and Carlos. They talked a lot about Tommy’s time at the 118 and then his decision to transfer to the 217. The two Texans asked about flying and that led to a conversation about Tommy’s time in the army as a pilot. Eventually, they moved on to talk about the 126 and then Carlos’ decision to join the APD instead of the Texas Rangers.

Meanwhile, TK and Evan just kept feeding off each other like children. They joked around and teased each other and were starting to get rowdy enough to risk drawing attention from other patrons. Grace did her best to try and mellow them out, but TK didn’t seem to be interested in calming down and Evan, in hindsight, wasn’t helping the situation.

Grace began scolding TK like she was his older sister whilst Evan laughed at his friend’s misfortune. Grace rolled her eyes and looked at Tommy.

“Tommy, could you get your man, please?” She asked him, exasperated.

Tommy looked over at Evan with a fond look on his face while Evan was cracking up so much that he was sure his face was beet red, and tears were leaking from the corners of his eyes. Tommy didn’t say anything, he just turned back to his conversation and placed his hand on Evan’s thigh.

Evan’s laughter immediately began to quiet down and Grace looked satisfied, even as TK slouched in his seat with a bored look on his face, his partner in crime effectively subdued by the pilot. Evan’s attention was solely on the large, warm hand that had settled on his leg. Tommy had placed it there so confidently like he hadn’t even considered that it might not be welcome.

It was very welcome, for the record.

Evan could tell that Tommy knew exactly what he was doing to him because when he glanced in his direction, the man looked smug. Evan placed his hand over Tommy’s, silently asking him not to move it, and Tommy’s fingers flexed against his leg in answer.

Mr. Zhang came back as their server cleared their dishes away and Evan spoke up before the owner could tell them that the meal was on the house.

“How much do I owe you?” Evan asked him, reaching for his wallet.

“On the house,” Mr. Zhang waved his hands. “Like always.”

Evan pulled a few twenties out of his wallet and tried to hand it over. Mr. Zhang refused to take it.

“Give it to Thea for a tip then, if you won’t take it,” Evan said. “She did a great job, she deserves it,”

Mr. Zhang caved, taking the money.

The group thanked Mr. Zhang profusely and they walked outside, heading toward their cars. TK, Carlos, Judd, and Grace had brought their rental, and Tommy had come to pick Evan up in his truck.

“How much did you give for the tip?” Judd asked Evan pulling out his wallet.

Evan held his hand up. “It’s on me, guys. Next time I’m in Austin I’ll consider letting you pay, how about that?”

Judd laughed. “Fine, so long as we head to the 118, now. I want to check that place out and tell you how our firehouse is better than yours.”

Evan gave him a faux-serious look. “You’re on, Texas.”

Tommy led the way to the firehouse and parked in the little lot just to the side of it. Judd parked in the spot next to them and everyone seemed to defer to Evan, waiting for him to lead the way inside. He took Tommy’s hand in his own and led the group in and toward the stairs.

“Wow,” TK said, looking around. “This is nice,”

“Not as nice as the 126,” Judd added pointedly. “but nice,”

Bobby, Hen, and Chim came to the edge of the mezzanine and looked down at their visitors.

“Hey, guys,” Chim raised a hand in greeting. “What’re you doing here?”

“They wanted to check the place out,” Evan informed his friends as he and Tommy started up the stairs, everyone following behind them. “I figured I’d bring them by,”

Evan went to stand next to his father who wrapped him in a hug. They’d seen each other that morning before Bobby had gone in for his shift, but the man had been making it a point to hug Evan every time they saw each other. It was nice to have someone make an effort like that.

Chimney and Hen immediately hijacked their friends and started showing the four of them around the station. Tommy and Evan stayed with Bobby.

“So, what’s next after this?” Bobby asked.

“We’re going to go to the loft for a bit,” Evan said. “TK’s been bugging me about seeing it in person.”

“Are you stopping back by here for dinner?” Bobby asked.

Evan glanced at Tommy. “How long do you think we’ll be at the loft?”

Tommy glanced over at the group that had congregated at the TV, oohing and ahhing at their gaming set-up.

“TK seems like he’s still got quite a bit of energy,” Tommy said. “You guys keep going like you were at lunch and I don’t think they’ll leave before midnight,”

Evan laughed. He turned back to Bobby. “That sounds like a no, to me,” he said.

“What happened at lunch?” Bobby asked.

Tommy snorted. “If the owners didn’t worship the ground that Evan walks on, I think he and TK might have gotten us kicked out, they were laughing so hard.”

“Hey, there’s nothing wrong with having a good time,” Evan said in jest. “I don’t remember the last time I laughed that hard. Maybe that carwash call,” he told Bobby.

Bobby’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “That funny, huh?”

“TK and I know how to have a good time,” Evan shrugged. “He’s a good buddy,”

“Yeah,” Tommy agreed. “You two definitely get along well,”

Evan looked up at the pilot and was happy to see that there wasn’t even a hint of jealousy or unease on his face. He knew that Evan and TK were just friends and was completely secure in whatever his relationship was with Evan to know that there was nothing untoward going on there.

The alarm went off and Bobby gave Evan an apologetic look.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, kiddo,” he said. “You’ll come in to fill out the HR paperwork after you’re done at the DMV?”

“Yup,” Evan nodded, and Bobby raced down the stairs after the rest of the team. He watched as they rushed off in the engine and the ambulance, lights and sirens going, and he couldn’t wait to get back to work next week.

Chapter 20: Chapter Twenty

Chapter Text

Evan sat in his Jeep, staring down at the temporary license that the DMV had printed off for him. They’d handed him the sheet of paper, and informed him that they would expedite his official license for him and that it should arrive by the end of the week, but for now, he had that sheet of paper.

Evan Michael Nash.

He stared at his name. He’d seen it on the missing person flyer that the detective had shown him, but somehow this was different. This made it seem so much more real than it had been this entire time. It was like he’d been living in some sort of fantasy world ever since Bobby had driven him home from the station and now he was about to move back into the real world, and he was now a different person than he’d been last time he’d been living in reality.

He snapped a picture of the name on the temporary license and sent it to Tommy, Eddie, and TK in separate texts.

Evan Nash 11:22 A.M. – It’s official

He set the paper on the passenger seat and buckled in. He drove a little slower than he normally would, heading in the direction of the firehouse. It’s not that he was having any bad feelings about officially stepping back into his old life as Evan Nash, it’s just that it had suddenly hit him that this was real, which was crazy because he’d known that for nearly a month, now.

He pulled into the parking lot outside the firehouse with hardly any memory of the drive there. He took a shaky breath, turned the car off, and grabbed the paper. The engines weren’t in the bay, so he went and sat in his dad’s office to wait for him.

TK Strand 11:44 A.M. – Whoop whoop! That’s great, man! It was great seeing you this weekend. You better come down to Austin soon, or I’ll hire someone to drag your ass onto a plane against your will.

Evan Nash 11:45 A.M. – I’ll come see you as soon as you aren’t living with the sugar czar anymore. I don’t feel like eating kale 24/7.

TK Strand 11:47 A.M. – Now that you mention it, do you think Carlos would notice if I didn’t get on the plane and I crashed on your couch until he finds us a place to live?

Evan Nash 11:48 A.M. - You could hire someone to go in your place. He’d never notice.

TK Strand 11:50 A.M. – Okay, it’s settled. See you at home, roomie.

Evan rolled his eyes and looked over his shoulder as his dad walked into the office. Bobby looked at him in surprise.

“I didn’t think you’d be here, already,” he said.

Evan handed him his new license. “They were dead today,” he said. “Quickest I’ve ever gotten out of a DMV before.”

“No kidding,” Bobby sat behind his desk and put the piece of paper in the copier. He made a copy of the license and handed Evan the original back.

Evan watched as Bobby grabbed his personnel file and put the new license into it. He then grabbed a file folder that had been sitting on the desk, pulled a few sheets of paper out of it, and placed one in front of Evan.

“Okay,” he grabbed a pen and handed it to Evan. “this one just says that you understand you and I are related and that you’re still okay working with me,”

Evan signed the paper and Bobby took it back before replacing it with another form.

“This one outlines the steps you should take if you need to report a conflict that you’re involved in. If you’re having trouble with someone on the job, you can’t bring that to me anymore because the higher-ups are afraid that I’d be biased since you’re my son,” Bobby pointed to a specific passage. “You’ll reach out to Melissa Ackers in Internal Affairs, here’s her contact information,”

Bobby handed him a business card and Evan glanced at it before he tucked it into his wallet. He then signed the bottom of the page.

“Lastly,” Bobby set the final paper in front of him. “Review this, make sure all the information is correct, and sign it if it is,”

The paper had his new name, birthdate, and Bobby listed as his father on it. It also had his contact information, address, and emergency contact information on it, which remained unchanged.

Evan nodded and signed it.

“That’s it?” He asked. “I thought there’d be more,”

“It’s not as big of a deal as you’d think,” Bobby said nonchalantly. “TK’s Captain is his dad, too, right?”

“Yeah,” Evan confirmed.

“So, it’s not like this is unprecedented.” Bobby shrugged. “It’s mostly just the department covering all its bases so that no one can try and say that I favor you. And they need the paperwork updated so that they can issue you your firefighter ID and your new turnouts.”

Evan nodded. “Changing your name is so much work,” He complained.

Bobby chuckled. “Yeah, I don’t envy you, kid. You’re doing really well, though.”

“Yeah, check in with me after I go talk to my landlord.” Evan sighed. “I have to get him to change the name on the lease. He’s such a pain in the ass.”

“You could always just stay with us,” Bobby said, half-kidding.

“Breaking my lease would be more of a pain in the ass than going and talking to him about changing my name,” Evan said. “I’ve still got a few months on it and I’d rather live there and pay for it, then pay for a place I’m not living at,”

Sure enough, his landlord made a big fuss about Evan changing his name on the lease. It took five times longer than it should have, but they got everything updated. After that was done, his landlord wanted to know why he hadn’t been home for over a month. Evan told him that he’d gotten hurt and had been living with family while his leg was broken.

His landlord had stared at him for a moment and then said “Again?!”

Evan had just smiled, nodded, and left to go do some grocery shopping so that he didn’t have to worry about it after he moved back in.

He was grateful that he’d had the foresight to do so because, by the time he’d put everything back in its place the next day, he was exhausted. Bobby really was the best dad ever, because while Evan was putting everything back in his closet, he was making dinner in the kitchen while Athena straightened up his living room.

“You need a new couch,” she told him as he came down the stairs and rounded the corner to join her in the living room.

“What’s wrong with that one?” He asked.

She put her hands on her hips and looked down at it. “It isn’t very comfortable.”

“It was cheap,” he shrugged.

“A couch is an investment, baby,” she told him. “You invest in comfort,”

“My bed is comfortable,” Evan pointed up at the loft. “I invested in that,”

“Honey, leave him be,” Bobby called over to them. “Come on, dinner’s done,”

“Maybe we’ll get you a new couch for Christmas,” Athena patted him on the shoulder as she headed toward the table.

“That’s really not necessary,” Evan told her. “The chair is really comfortable. I mostly sit in that.”

Athena gave him one of her looks as she sat down, and Bobby placed a plate in front of her. Evan sat next to her, and Bobby sat on his other side, placing plates in front of the both of them. They ate while having a friendly conversation. Athena and Bobby talked about their shifts yesterday and Evan told them that TK had texted this morning, all had gone well with their flight yesterday and he and Carlos were back under Captain Strand’s roof eating the most bland, healthy meals possible.

TK had asked, again, if he could return to L.A. and temporarily move in with Evan. Carlos had then texted and told him not to encourage TK’s little fantasy, because if anything, Carlos was the one that deserved to return to L.A. and live with Evan.

Bobby and Athena reluctantly left that evening, reminding Evan that he could always come ‘home’ if he wanted to. His room would always be his room. He always had a home with them.

If he went and laid in bed that night and shed a few tears, that wasn’t anybody’s business but his own.

The next day he drove himself to his therapy appointment and talked to Dr. Copeland about how settled he felt when he was around his family, friends, and Tommy. And also about how empty he felt when he was alone and he had time to sit in silence and think. Dr. Copeland told him that those were the moments when he should reach out to people. Couldn’t he text Tommy, TK, Eddie, or his father?

And that was a fair point, but Evan didn’t want to be a burden. That was when Dr. Copeland asked if anyone had ever accused him of being a burden and he had to tell her about the time at the grocery store after the lawsuit when Eddie had told him he was exhausting.

They broke that whole situation down and Dr. Copeland suggested that he go talk to Eddie about it.

That’s why he was sitting outside Eddie’s house in his Jeep just staring at the steering wheel. He just about jumped out of his skin when someone knocked on his window. He looked up at Eddie, terrified, while Eddie just stared at him, unimpressed.

“You can come inside, you know?” Eddie called through the glass. He pointed at the keys in Evan’s hand. “You have a key and everything.”

Evan rolled his eyes and got out of the Jeep. Eddie backed up and stuffed his hands in his pockets.

“Sorry, I just…” He looked back at the house. “Is Chris home?”

“No, he’s with Pepa today,” Eddie looked at him in concern. “Are you okay?”

“I just came from an appointment with Dr. Copeland,” Evan said.

“Rough session?” Eddie asked sympathetically.

“Just… realizing that there are some things in the past that are still bugging me.”

“Like what?” Eddie asked.

“Remember after I sued the department, and we hadn’t seen each other in a while until I turned up at the grocery store while you guys were there?” Evan asked.

Eddie’s face immediately fell. His mouth twisted like he’d just tasted something sour, and he sighed, looking down at the ground.

“Yeah, vividly,” Eddie said sadly. “It is one of the moments I’m most ashamed of. I said things that I didn’t mean. I said things out of anger. I said those things because, in that moment, I wanted to hurt you the way that I was hurting because I felt like I’d lost my best friend.”

“I never meant to hurt you, Eddie,” Evan said quietly. “But I need to know, do you really think that I’m exhausting?”

“No,” Eddie said vehemently. “No, Evan, you’re not exhausting. You aren’t. You are one of my favorite people in this world, you’re my best friend and my brother. I love you, you know that, don’t you?”

Evan took a step forward and wrapped Eddie in his arms. “I love you, too, man,” he murmured.

“I’m so sorry,” Eddie told him. “I wish I’d known that you held on to that. I wish I’d never said it.”

“Hey, it’s fine,” Evan pulled away from the hug. “we’re fine,”

“It isn’t fine,” Eddie told him. “But we are. Do you want to come in?”

“I have to go pick May up from the call center. Her car broke down,” Evan shook his head. “I just wanted to clear that up.”

Eddie patted him on the shoulder. “Come by soon,” he told him. “Christopher has been asking about you.”

“Come over tomorrow night,” Evan told him. “I’ll make my Dad’s macaroni bake,”

“Sold,” Eddie grinned as Evan got back into his car. “See ya!”

“Bye,” Evan said, and he took a deep breath as he pulled out of the driveway, feeling lighter like he’d just shed a weight he didn’t realize he’d been carrying.

Chapter 21: Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Text

The night before Evan went back to work, he found himself hanging out at Bobby and Athena’s while they were out on a date. Harry was in his bedroom working on homework and May was out with some friends so she wasn’t available to be in the house with Harry, so Evan was just chilling on the couch watching a new documentary on penguins.

It was absolutely fascinating.

What was more fascinating was the moment when there was a knock on the front door and then Tommy was walking into the house. He grinned when he spotted Evan on the couch.

Evan had been texting the man about how bored he was and how he’d been missing the pilot all week as their schedule hadn’t matched up very well and they’d barely seen each other.

“Hey!” Evan beamed. “What are you doing here?”

He got off the couch and met Tommy at the bottom of the stairs. They wrapped their arms around each other, and their lips met for a kiss. Tommy’s hand swept down his back and landed on his hip. Evan pressed his body against Tommy’s and relished the way that Tommy pressed a kiss to his forehead, holding him closely, carefully.

Evan closed his eyes and smiled at the feeling of Tommy’s lips against his skin; sweet and gentle. He wasn’t sure he’d ever get used to this; being treated like something precious.

“I just wanted to see you,” Tommy murmured. “I’ve missed you this week.”

“You just got off shift,” Evan pointed out. “Aren’t you exhausted?”

“Not too exhausted to come see you,” Tommy shook his head and let Evan pull him over to the couch. Evan pushed him down onto the couch and Tommy sat willingly but caught Evan by the wrist as he went to go to the kitchen to grab Tommy something to eat. “Where are you going?”

“There’s leftover pizza from dinner,” Evan said. “Are you hungry?”

“Yeah,” Tommy tugged on Evan’s arm and Evan lost his balance and fell into Tommy’s lap. Tommy wrapped his arms around Evan’s waist and pressed his face into his neck. “but I don’t want to eat, yet,” he murmured.

Evan leaned against him and wrapped an arm around his neck. He tilted his head down and took Tommy’s chin in between his thumb and forefinger, tilting his head back until their lips slotted together.

“You’re really sweet,” Evan told him, their lips brushing against each other as he spoke.

“Because you deserve it,” Tommy said and he leaned in to press a hard kiss to Evan’s lips.

Evan can’t help the little moan that slips out of his mouth as he grips the back of Tommy’s head and does his best to kiss the man back.

Tommy pulls away and grins tiredly at Evan. “Now, what was that about pizza?”

Evan laughs and slides off Tommy’s lap. He goes into the kitchen and goes through the process of plating some pizza, grabbing a beer from the fridge, and warming the pizza up. He turns around and finds Tommy standing at the counter, watching him with a fond smile.

“You could have waited in the living room,” Evan told him.

“I came here to see you,” Tommy told him and walked over to the table. He sat down as Evan followed and gave him the pizza and beer. “I want to see you.”

Evan sat beside him, and Tommy dug into his dinner.

“How was work?” Evan asked.

“Slow,” Tommy sighed. “We mostly just sat around and played poker,”

“Are you good at poker?” Evan asked. “I suck at it, Chimney won’t let me play with him anymore because he said it doesn’t feel right taking my money when I’m that bad at it,”

Tommy threw his head back and laughed. It was such a happy sound that Evan couldn’t help but beam. Tommy looked back at him, smiling, and nodded.

“Yeah, I’d say I’m pretty alright at poker,” he shrugged. “Not the best, but I’ve won some money off my team.”

“I have never won money at poker,” Evan admitted. “I’m good at Gin, though,”

“Yeah, I’m alright at Gin,” Tommy commented. “Now, Solitaire? I can’t do that,”

Evan chuckled and turned as he heard the front door open again.

“May?” He called.

“Yeah, it’s me!” May and two other girls walked into the dining room and May smiled at Tommy. “This is Leslie and Hannah,” she introduced, “guys this is my brother Evan and his boyfriend, Tommy,”

Evan and Tommy waved at the girls who politely waved back.

“We’ll be in my room,” May told him. “The Wi-Fi went out at my place,”

“Have fun,” Evan told her.

The girls went down the hallway and into May’s room. Evan waited until he heard her bedroom door shut before he turned to Tommy to find the pilot already watching him.

“She called you my boyfriend,” Evan said. “I know we haven’t really labeled this yet…”

“I liked it,” Tommy told him. “Just like I liked it when Grace called you my man,” He smiled. “I meant what I said at my house, Evan. I feel so strongly about you. I feel like we were meant to be together, and I want to see where this goes. So, I would like to be your boyfriend, if that’s what you want.”

Evan grinned and leaned across the table to kiss Tommy. His boyfriend.

“Yes,” he said. “that’s exactly what I want,”

“Good,” Tommy said. “Because I don’t plan on letting you go anytime soon,”

***

There were a few things that were different when Evan walked into the firehouse on his first shift back since the accident. His locker was now labeled E. NASH, it had an obviously brand-new set of turnouts hanging inside, as well, labeled the same way. When he walked into the changing room, there was a stack of clothing set out on the bench in front of his usual locker.

“Cap had me put those there for you,” Chimney told him as he got changed into his uniform. “I put your nametag in your locker, though. Didn’t want it to get lost,”

“Thanks,” Evan said as he set his duffel on the floor and picked up the first shirt.

There were two LAFD t-shirts, two black hoodies, a navy blue jacket, a soft black zip-up jacket, and two pairs of sweatpants that all boasted his new last name on them.

“Jeez, this is a lot of stuff,” Evan said as he opened his locker and pulled his uniform and new name tag out.

Chimney glanced over at the pile. “It’s what we all get when we join,” he shrugged. “What are you doing with the stuff that says Buckley on it?”

“Figured I’d ask Bobby,” he shrugged. “I brought it all in with me,”

He kicked the duffel and started to get changed. Chimney sat on the bench, laced up his boots, and looked up at Evan with that look on his face that he gets when there’s something he wants to say but he wasn’t sure how well it would be received.

“Just say it, dude,” Evan looked down at his sister’s boyfriend.

“I was just wondering when you’re going to see Tommy again?” Chimney asked. “Things still going well?”

“Our schedules don’t line up this week,” Evan sighed. “But uh, we made things official between us last night,”

“Is this the kind of thing I don’t want to hear about my little brother?” Chimney asked him, looking slightly horrified.

“No,” Evan shook his head. “not like that. I mean he asked me to be his boyfriend,”

“Oh,” Chimney let out a sigh of relief. “That’s great, man,”

“Yeah,” Evan let out a slow breath as he laced his boots up. “I’ve actually never been happier than I am right now. And it’s not just because of Tommy, it’s finding out about Bobby and you and Maddie being so accepting, and I have all these wonderful friends, everything is just going really well for me right now,”

Chimney had this soft look on his face as he looked up at Evan. “You seem happier. You just… look lighter, like this big weight has been taken off your shoulders. I’ve never seen you like this before. It’s nice,”

“It feels nice,” Evan murmured as he unpacked his duffel bag into his locker, he folded the Buckley labeled clothes and put them on the bench with his old nametag and then placed the new clothes into the duffel and put the bag in his locker.

Evan pinned his name tag to his uniform. It read E. Nash just like his locker now did.

“Look at you,” Chimney smiled, gesturing to Evan’s uniform. “Firefighter Evan Nash, we’re so proud,”

Evan rolled his eyes and picked up the stack of old clothes and the old nametag.

“Yeah, yeah,” Evan waved Chimney off and headed upstairs. Bobby was in the kitchen putting together his breakfast casserole. “Hey, Cap,”

Bobby looked up from his cooking and smiled.

“Hey, son,” he greeted. “Happy to be back?”

“You betcha,” Evan gestured to the stack of clothes in his hands. “What should I do with the old stuff?”

Bobby frowned and rounded the counter slightly to put his foot on the pedal of the trash can. He gestured to the open lid.

“Throw ‘em away,” he said.

Evan shrugged and tossed the clothes into the trash. Bobby went back to making the casserole and Evan came to stand beside him. He picked up a knife and started cutting up sausage.

“Tommy and I are officially dating,” Evan told him quietly. “He asked me to be his boyfriend last night,”

Bobby looked at him and Evan could tell that he wanted to smile, but instead, his eyes scanned Evan’s face.

“That’s good, right?” Bobby asked. “We’re happy about that?”

“I am, yeah,” Evan agreed. “I really like him.” He hesitated for a moment. “Do you?”

Bobby looked up at him in surprise. “Yeah, I do,” he said. “Does he think I don’t?”

“No, he hasn’t said anything like that.” Evan shook his head. “I guess that I’ve just never cared before if my parent approves of who I’m dating. So, this is a little weird for me.”

Evan watched as Bobby’s expression turned from concerned to pleased. He took the sausage from Evan and tossed it into the pan before he slid it into the oven.

“I approve,” Bobby said. “But you don’t really need my approval, you know that right?”

Evan shifted his weight and looked into his father’s eyes. He saw nothing but kindness and acceptance there. He couldn’t help but remember the last time he’d told someone he believed to be his father that he had a boyfriend. That time there had been disgust and anger. That time, he’d gotten struck across the face and Margaret Buckley’s hair dryer lobbed at his head.

“Yeah,” Evan said quietly. “I still want it, though.”

Bobby looked like he understood. “You have it,” he said as if it were as simple as breathing.

Evan felt tears spring to his eyes, and he got a bit choked up. He tried to swallow but couldn’t quite manage it. Bobby’s face softened even more and it looked like he was about to reach out to try and comfort him when Chimney and Hen made it upstairs.

“There he is!” Hen cried.

“It’s Baby Cap!” Chimney cheered. “Guess who’s back? Back again? Baby’s back, tell a friend!”

“Guess who’s back, guess who’s back,” Hen sang along, dancing over to Evan and wrapping him in a hug.

“You guys are so funny,” Evan told her sarcastically.

“You know you missed us, kiddo,” Hen told him.

“Missed you?” Evan pulled back and looked between her and Chimney. “I saw you guys all the time while I was gone,”

Chimney pretended to be offended, placing a hand over his heart.

“I see how it is, Bu – Nash.” He quickly recovered from the slip-up, but Evan could see the panic that overtook his friend’s features.

“Yup, that’s how it is,” Evan smirked.

Barnett and Rosen waved him over, so Evan sidestepped Hen and went to see what they needed.

“Hey, Julie,” He greeted her as she hugged him. He pulled back and shook Barnett’s hand. “John,”

“Hey, man,” John said. “I’m glad you’re okay,”

“Hey, if a bomb couldn’t take me out do you really think a little bit of swimming would?” Evan asked with an uncomfortable little laugh.

John and Julie gave him sympathetic little smiles.

“So, you’re Cap’s kid, huh?” Julie asked him.

“Yeah, apparently, so,” Evan glanced over his shoulder to see Bobby talking with Hen and Chimney. He looked back at the pair in front of him, feeling a sudden rush of nervousness. “That’s not a problem for you guys, is it?”

They looked surprised and shook their heads.

“Come on, Nash, let’s be real,” Julie said. “You’ve been as good as his kid since the second you walked in here.”

“Yeah,” John agreed. “I’d be surprised if anything actually changed around here. I had to tell Winters a few months in that you weren’t actually his kid, he thought you were.”

Julie laughed. “Turns out you were the one that was wrong,”

John sighed and nodded in acceptance.

“Eddie told me he thought the same thing,” Evan told them. “Said he finally asked Hen and she thought it was hilarious.”

Julie and John laughed as Bobby called them to the table for breakfast.

They made it about halfway through their meal when the alarm went off. Evan and the rest of their team were out of their seats and sprinting down the stairs within seconds.

It was a pretty simple call; a boy was stuck in a swimming pool volleyball net, and he was at home alone with his grandmother who was dependent on a walking cane. They made it into the backyard just as the kid got too tired to keep his head above the water. He slipped under the water, and it was like second nature to Evan, he dived into the pool and swam toward the little boy who was taking in too much water.

He grabbed the kid and broke the surface, but the boy wasn’t breathing.

“He’s not breathing!” Evan called to his team as he swam to the edge of the pool and handed him off to Hen and Chim who immediately began CPR.

Barnett was standing off to the side with a few towels as Evan pulled himself out of the pool. He headed in Barnett’s direction, but Bobby stopped him with a light touch to his arm. He made eye contact with his father who looked a little concerned.

“You okay?” He asked.

“I’m fine,” Evan told him.

Bobby nodded, accepting his word for it. “Okay,” and he went over to supervise Hen and Chimney as they worked on the kid.

Barnett handed him a towel and Evan did his best to dry himself off, his clothes were soaked though.

“I put a few towels on your seat in the rig,” Barnett told him.

“Thanks, man,”

***

Evan woke up, not knowing what had woken him up. He looked around and flinched back into the mattress when he saw Chimney standing over him.

“What are you gonna kill me?” Evan whispered.

“You were crying,” Chimney told him.

“What?” Evan wiped his face and found that he did indeed have tears rolling down his cheeks.

He looked around the room and saw Hen and Michaels fast asleep in their bunks. The room was almost completely dark, but the door was slightly open, allowing some light to come in.

“Did I wake you up?” Evan asked remorsefully.

“No, I was coming in to get some sleep,” Chimney told him. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I’m good, thanks,” Evan shook his head.

Chimney gave him a disbelieving look. “Your dad’s in his office.”

He went over to his favored bunk and climbed in, laying his head down and pulling the blanket over his face. Evan sighed and decided that he ought to take Chimney’s advice and go see his father.

He crept out of the bunk room and headed in the direction of the captain’s office. The door was propped open, and the light was on, but Evan still hesitated before he went in. Bobby was hunched over a file, engrossed with it. Evan stood in the doorway and watched him read it.

Finally, he was able to convince his legs to carry him into the office and he sat down in one of the chairs in front of the desk. Bobby still didn’t seem to notice him, too busy reading the file.

“Dad?” he asked quietly, trying not to startle him.

Bobby still jumped, though, and looked up at Evan with wide eyes. The shock immediately turned to concern, his brow furrowed, and a frown tugged at his lips.

“What’s wrong?” Bobby asked.

Evan shrunk a little in his seat. “Chimney woke me up,” he said. “Apparently I was crying in my sleep,”

“Bad dream?” Bobby asked him.

“Memories,” Evan corrected.

“From falling, again?”

“No… I think they’re memories,” Evan shrugged. “It didn’t feel bad, it felt happy.”

“What was it?” Bobby asked. “Maybe I can tell you if they’re memories or not,”

“I was sitting with a woman, and it was dark, but the ceiling was… glowing? And she was singing to me about rivers and lakes,”

Bobby’s expression wavered and he took a deep breath.

“Your mom used to sing you to sleep, and you had those little stick-on glow in the dark stars on your ceiling. I put them up when you were three because you were convinced that monsters lived in your closet. She loved this song called Waterfalls and she would sing that to you. Don’t go chasing waterfalls.”

Evan’s head snapped up so that he was looking straight at Bobby instead of his lap.

“Athena said that to me once,” he said. “When I was fired, and Hen asked me to help with the home invasion. I didn’t know what it meant,”

“Don’t go getting into trouble,” Bobby translated.

Evan chewed on his bottom lip for a moment before he crossed his legs and ran a hand through his hair.

“I guess I remember more than I thought I did,” He murmured.

“I’m glad that you have some memories of her,” Bobby said quietly. “She loved you so much. She talked about you all the time so your brother and sister would know about you.”

Evan wasn’t sure what to say to that, so he looked back down at the file that Bobby had been reading.

“What’s that?” he asked.

Bobby sighed, picked the file up, and set it in front of Evan. He looked down at it and was surprised to see that it was the file that Detective Ransone had let him look at when they’d brought him into the station.

“This is my file?” Evan asked. “From the police?”

“Yeah,” Bobby nodded.

“They just let you have this?”

“It’s a copy,” Bobby said. “Athena gave it to me,”

Evan flipped through a few pages. There were transcripts of interviews with his parents, some neighbors, and a few firefighters. There was a picture from the security camera footage of the person who picked him up and carried him away.

In the picture, Evan was leaning out of the person’s arms, reaching toward the firehouse.

“Well, I didn’t go willingly,” Evan muttered.

“No, you didn’t,” Bobby agreed.

“Why are you up in the middle of the night obsessing over this?” Evan asked his father. “I thought you’d put this behind you. I’m alive, and I’m here, and the Buckleys were arrested, they confessed and everything, so they aren’t even doing a trial. It’s over.”

Bobby tugged the file away from Evan, closed it, and put it in one of his desk drawers.

“I guess you’re not the only one who needs therapy for this, huh?” Bobby asked.

“You haven’t been seeing a therapist?” Evan asked.

“On and off since I was a kid,” Bobby admitted. Evan looked at him curiously and he saw his father notice the curiosity. He swallowed and then sighed. “My father, your grandfather, was a firefighter like us. He was also a drunk; and when he was drunk, he was mean. He hit your grandmother and your uncle, my older brother.”

“You have a brother?” Evan asked quietly.

“Charlie,” Bobby sounded sad. “We don’t really talk. My mother wanted to take him and I to our aunt’s house, she was leaving my father. I refused, I thought my father was a hero and I didn’t want to leave him. So, my mom and Charlie left, and I stayed with him. I didn’t realize how bad it was until it was too late. I was the adult in the household, I made his dinners, served him his beer, I called into the firehouse and told them he was sick when he was so drunk he didn’t know what day it was.”

Evan listened, hanging onto his father’s every word. Bobby had never talked about his family before, outside of Marcy, Robert, and Brook. Evan then realized that Bobby wasn’t just talking about his family, he was talking about Evan’s family too. That was jarring for him.

“I tried to make cookies one night and a fire started. It burned the kitchen pretty badly and I had to call 9-1-1 because my father was so drunk I couldn’t wake him up. His house showed up and they didn’t seem surprised. They woke him up and defended me he got angry. He and I had an argument, and I went to my room. The next morning, I found him dead on the floor. He’d tripped and hit his head.”

Evan sat up straight, horrified. “Oh my, God,” he uttered. “I’m so sorry,”

Bobby didn’t seem upset, just resigned. Evan supposed it had been a long time since that had happened and Bobby had learned to cope with, or at the very least accept, it.

“I’ve moved on,” Bobby said with some finality. “Things happen in life, we lose people that we love, or the people that we love don’t treat us the way that we deserve. What matters now, is that I have a family that I love more than anything. My son, my wife, and my step-children. Not to mention the 118.”

Evan nodded. “We found ourselves in a pretty good situation here, didn’t we?”

“That’s right,” Bobby agreed. “We are where we belong. We have everything we need, right here.”

Chapter 22: Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Text

Evan was standing at his kitchen counter rubbing his thumb over a key. A key to his apartment, to be precise. He wanted to give it to Tommy, but he wasn’t sure if it was too early. He knew that he and Tommy had discussed taking things at their own pace and not worrying about anyone other than the two of them, but he couldn’t help but worry that Tommy would think this was too much too soon.

He was startled out of his internal conflict by a knock on the door. Evan had invited Tommy over to his place to watch an MMA fight on TV. He’d ordered pizza and picked up some of Tommy’s favorite beer.

He wiped his hands on his jeans to try and dry the sweat off them and he went to open the door.

“Hey, honey,” Evan grinned as he opened the door to reveal Tommy standing on the other side. He blinked in surprise as he spotted the bouquet in Tommy’s hands.

Tommy beamed and stepped into the apartment. He wrapped his free arm around Evan’s waist and pulled him flush against him, sealing their lips together in a passionate kiss. Evan immediately relaxed in his boyfriend’s arms, wrapped one arm around his neck, and placed his other hand on Tommy’s bicep.

Tommy pulled back and presented him with the bouquet. “These are for you,”

It was a beautiful arrangement of yellow flowers that Evan didn’t know the names of.

“You got me flowers?” Evan asked as Tommy pressed them into his hands.

“I did,” Tommy pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. “I’m a few days late, but we’ve known each other for a month.”

Evan smiled, taken aback by how thoughtful Tommy was.

“That’s… that’s so thoughtful,” Evan told him. “Thank you. It’s been the best month of my life,”

He used the arm still draped around Tommy’s neck to pull him flush against him again and he just relished the feeling of hugging his boyfriend. Now that Tommy had both hands free, he put both of his hands on Evan’s back and just held him.

“It’s been the best month of my life, too, baby,” Tommy murmured. He pulled away enough that he could caress the side of Evan’s face and lean back in for a tender kiss that made Evan feel things that were definitely too intense for only knowing the guy a month.

Evan broke the kiss and sighed contentedly. “I, um, I got us some pizza and craft beer, your favorite.”

“You’re the best,” Tommy told him with a big smile.

Evan felt his cheeks start to heat up and he pulled out of Tommy’s arms and headed for the kitchen. He started looking for a vase while Tommy looked around the loft. It was his first time there and he seemed perfectly content to wander around and take it all in.

“I’d offer you a tour,” Evan said as he filled the vase with some water and set the flowers on the dining table. “but it’s pretty self-explanatory, huh?”

Tommy looked at him with amusem*nt in his eyes.

“Bedroom’s up there with another bathroom,” Evan gestured to the loft. “Living room, bathroom, kitchen, balcony. That’s all there is to it,”

“It’s nice,” Tommy said. “I like it. You said Maddie decorated?”

“I mean, I had some input, but yeah it was mostly Maddie. I bought all the furniture; she just came in and put a bunch of knick-knacks and decorative sh*t in here. Heads up about the couch, Athena told me, very bluntly, the other day that it’s a piece of sh*t.”

Tommy busted out laughing. “Alright, then,” he peered around the stairs to look at the couch. “It doesn’t look like a piece of sh*t,”

“It’s uncomfortable,” Evan told him. “I splurged on a comfortable bed and had to settle for an uncomfortable couch.”

Tommy hummed, still looking around the living room.

Evan went back into the kitchen and grabbed two plates and two beers. His eyes caught on the key still sitting on the counter. He looked over in the direction of the living room. Tommy had disappeared behind the staircase; Evan could see slight movement, but he couldn’t see what Tommy was doing.

Evan slipped the key into his pocket and placed the plates on top of the pizza box. He picked it up and carried it into the living room to see that Tommy had pushed the coffee table out of the way and had been busy making a spot on the floor for them. He’d spread a throw blanket on the floor and set some of the throw pillows on top of it strategically.

He glanced up from his work as Evan drew near.

“I figured we could do this picnic style since you said the couch isn’t very comfortable.” Tommy shrugged and reached for the pizza box. He set it down in the middle of his setup and lowered himself to the ground, lying on his side.

Evan sat next to him and handed him his beer.

“I like the way you think,” he said as he turned the TV on and found the channel broadcasting the fight.

Evan had never paid much attention to MMA fights, so he asked Tommy questions as they ate the pizza and finished their beers. Evan went to put the pizza box in the fridge and get them more beer when they were done with dinner. He came back to find that Tommy had rearranged again now that the pizza box was out of the way so that he was reclining back against the couch.

He grabbed Evan by the hips and pulled him down so that he was sitting between his legs, laying back against Tommy’s chest. Tommy ducked his head to nuzzle Evan’s neck and pressed a few kisses to his skin.

“You’re not even watching the fight anymore,” Evan laughed.

“I’ve got something more important to pay attention to,” Tommy mumbled as he wrapped his arms firmly around Evan.

Evan looked over his shoulder at his boyfriend and Tommy took the opportunity to press a kiss to Evan’s cheek, forehead, nose, and finally his lips.

“You’re insatiable,” Evan teased him.

“Oh, you have no idea, baby,” Tommy said playfully, laughing.

Evan turned slightly in his arms, and reached up to cup Tommy’s face as he leaned down to press their lips together again. They had to break the kiss because Evan was laughing.

“It’s not funny,” Tommy murmured, giggling slightly.

“Mm-mm,” Evan agreed, humming.

They brought their lips together again and Tommy darted his tongue out, swiping it across Evan’s lower lip. One of his hands dropped down to the small of his back. Evan parted his lips and Tommy took advantage, pressing his tongue inside Evan’s mouth.

One of Evan’s hands found its way to the back of Tommy’s neck and his fingers brushed through his hair. Tommy groaned and before Evan could even react, he’d moved them so that Evan was on his back on the floor and Tommy was hovering over him.

The movement forced them to break the kiss and Evan was gasping for air as Tommy stared down at him with something akin to awe in his eyes.

“You’re so beautiful,” Tommy breathed. “I can’t believe you’re all mine,”

Evan must have had a visible reaction to those words because Tommy smirked and dove down for another heat-filled kiss. This one was more passionate than the one before, Tommy’s hand gripped Evan’s hip so hard that Evan thought he might leave bruises.

“Is this okay?” Tommy asked, pulling back again. “We don’t need to do anything you’re not comfortable with,”

“I’m comfortable,” Evan gripped Tommy’s shoulders and pulled him down, closer to him.

Their chests pressed together and one of Tommy’s knees came down between Evan’s legs. Evan pushed down against it and groaned into Tommy’s mouth.

He felt the slight burn of Tommy’s stubble rubbing against his own as his boyfriend tilted his head to get a better angle. He felt a little jolt of pain as Tommy bit his lower lip and tugged on it before sucking it into his mouth.

He writhed on the ground underneath the bigger man, fingertips pressing into Tommy’s back and shoulder, Tommy swallowing every noise he made until he lay under him gasping and shivering and Tommy was panting into his neck.

They’d finished in their pants like teenagers, but Evan didn’t regret a thing. He pulled lightly on Tommy’s hair, silently asking the man to sit up slightly. When he did, Evan gave him a tender kiss.

“We need to shower,” Evan murmured. “You can borrow my clothes,”

Tommy agreed and they shakily got to their feet before Evan led his boyfriend upstairs.

***

After the shower, Evan pulled the key out of his discarded jeans pocket and went to meet Tommy downstairs. His boyfriend had gone to put the living room back together and find out who’d won the match they’d forgotten to watch.

“Hey, babe?” Evan called as he got to the bottom of the stairs and turned into the living room.

“Yeah?” Tommy asked as he pushed the coffee table back into place.

“I have something for you,” Evan held the key up as Tommy walked over to him.

Tommy’s eyes lit up and he looked at Evan in surprise. He didn’t question his boyfriend’s decision like Evan had expected him to. Instead, he reached out and took it from him with a smile and pulled his keys out of his pocket.

He strung the key onto the key ring and took another one off of it. He handed the key to Evan.

“Here,” he said. “You’re welcome at my house anytime,”

“And you’re welcome here, anytime.”

Tommy smiled and pulled Evan into a hug. “Thank you for trusting me, Ev,” he said.

“How could I not?” Evan asked. “I really like you, Tommy,”

He felt Tommy smile against his shoulder. “I really like you, too, Evan,”

Chapter 23: Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Text

Evan hadn’t been expecting anyone. Tommy was on shift and Eddie had said that Ana was coming over to have dinner with him and Christopher that night, there wasn’t anyone else who usually dropped by out of the blue.

So, when he opened the door and saw May and Harry standing there, Mcdonald's bags in hand, he was surprised.

“Uh, hey, guys,” He opened the door wider and stepped aside to let them in. “What’s up?”

“We brought dinner!” Harry cheered.

“I see that,” Evan said as he closed his front door and followed them to the dining table. “Do your parents know you’re here, Harry? It’s a school night.”

Harry shifted his weight suspiciously and Evan knew instantly that no one realized his siblings had been plotting to come over.

“Uh, no,” he said.

“Right,” Evan sighed. “As happy as I am to see you, I have to call your mom.”

“Okay,” Harry said as he sat down, and May placed a box of chicken McNuggets in front of him.

“May, you were in on this?” Evan asked.

“It’s just dinner,” May said. “I was going to take him back. But if I can stay and hang out, that’d be cool.”

Evan hummed in agreement and pulled his phone out as he sat in the chair between Harry and May. May gave him a double cheeseburger and some fries as he dialed Athena’s number.

“Hey, baby,” she picked up the phone. “Everything okay?”

“Hey, ‘Thena,” Evan greeted. “I just wanted to let you know that May and Harry just showed up at my place. I know it’s a school night for Harry, so I thought you would want to know.”

Athena sighed. “Yes, thank you,” she said, suddenly sounding tired. “It’s Michael’s time with him, I’ll give him a call and see if he can come pick Harry up.”

“Okay, just let me know,” Evan said.

“I will,” Athena promised.

Evan hung up the phone and turned to Harry.

“Your mom is calling your dad, she’s going to see if he can come pick you up in a bit,” He told his younger brother.

“Aw man,” Harry pouted. “I wanted to hang out.”

“We are going to hang out,” Evan promised, feeling a little guilty. “But it’s a school night and it’s important to get rest before you go to school so that your brain is ready to learn everything that you need to.”

“Learning is dumb,” Harry said as he ate his nuggets.

“Learning is one of my favorite things to do,” Evan informed the boy. “I love reading and doing research so that I can learn all kinds of fun things about our world.”

Harry looked a little less sullen after Evan told him that.

“Did you guys have a good day?” He asked the Grant kids.

Harry went on and on about some math test that he didn’t do well on, and May piped up about some call she’d taken about a man who got stuck in a baby swing at the park. May’s story had the three of them laughing hysterically as she detailed the running commentary the first responders had kept up when they arrived on the scene, letting the dispatchers in on the laughs.

They’d long since finished their dinner when Michael showed up, knocking on the door. Athena had texted not long after Evan had called her, letting him know that Michael would be by to get Harry.

Evan hopped up from the table where they’d been playing UNO and opened the door. Michael stood there looking at ease, hands in the pockets of his jacket.

“Hey, Evan,” Michael smiled. “Sorry, they just showed up like that,”

“Oh, no problem at all,” Evan said as he waved Michael inside. “May and Harry are always welcome here. Harry’s just been made aware that you or Athena need to know that he’s here if he’s going to be here. I’m not keeping secrets from you guys.”

“Well, we appreciate that, thank you,” Michael said. “Harry, we need to get home, come on, buddy,”

Harry huffed and slid out of his chair. “Fine,” he groaned. “Bye,”

Harry leaned against Evan’s side in a half-hearted hug. Evan wrapped an arm around him and squeezed. “Come back when it’s not a school night and maybe you can spend the night if it’s okay with your parents.”

“Is May spending the night?” Harry asked.

“If she wants to, because she doesn’t have school like you do,” Evan replied, honestly.

His phone started buzzing in his pocket and he pulled it out, glancing at it quickly as he followed Harry and Michael to the door.

Incoming Call from Maddie

Evan sent the call to voicemail, figuring that he could call her back in a little while, and bid the boys goodbye, closing and locking the door behind them. He turned back to the table to find that May was cleaning the card game up.

“Are you staying over?” Evan asked.

“Do you mind?” May asked, a little sheepishly.

“Not at all,” Evan told her. He joined her at the table and gathered their trash to throw out. “If you want, you can go look in my closet and pick out something to wear. I can make some popcorn and we can put a movie on.”

“Thanks,” May said and she set the box of cards aside and then hurried upstairs to his bedroom.

Another call came in from Maddie. This time, Evan answered it.

“Maddie? Are you okay?” he asked quietly.

“We need to talk.” She said, sounding too serious.

“Is Jee okay? Chimney?” Evan panicked.

“It’s not about them,” Maddie said dismissively. “My parents want to talk to you. I’ve been telling them no every time they ask, but I talked to Howie about it, he said you deserved the chance to make that decision for yourself. That maybe you need closure. Is that true?”

Evan’s head started spinning. He never thought that he’d be faced with the possibility of speaking to the Buckleys again, but here they were worming their way back into his life. Did he want to talk to them? Did he want to give them a chance to explain themselves? Did he want answers? Or did he want to make them hear him for the first and last time?

The idea of getting some answers was enticing.

“What do you mean talk to them?” Evan asked as May came down the stairs dressed in one of his LAFD hoodies and a pair of basketball shorts. “Like go there?”

He held up a finger to May for her to hold on. “Hey, go pick a movie. I’ll be just a minute.”

“Is that Tommy?” Maddie asked.

“No, May’s hanging out with me,” Evan said.

“That’s nice,” Maddie said positively.

“Maddie,” Evan prompted.

“Right, well, yeah, we would go visit them,” Maddie said. “I can book us a flight for tomorrow. We can be back before your shift on Tuesday.”

“Yeah,” Evan said. “But, you’ll go in with me, right? I don’t want to talk to them alone.”

“Of course, I’ll go with you,” Maddie said soothingly. “Do you want to ask your dad if he wants to go too?”

“No,” Evan said vehemently, surprising himself with how strongly he felt about that. “I don’t want him to know until we’re already back. This is something I need to do by myself. Just tell Chimney not to talk to Bobby until we’re back. He can’t keep a secret.”

Maddie laughed. “I’ll send you the details. Chimney and I will come pick you up in the morning, okay?”

“Okay,” Evan murmured. “Thanks, Maddie,”

“I don’t think this is something to thank me for,” Maddie groused. “I’ll see you tomorrow,”

***

May had a shift that morning, so Evan made her a breakfast sandwich to-go and told her he’d see her later that week.

Maddie and Chimney wouldn’t be by to get him for another forty-five minutes, so he cleaned the loft, packed a weekend carry-on bag, and then sat on his stairs, pulled out his phone, and called Tommy.

“Evan?” Tommy picked up sounding worried. “Are you okay?”

Tommy was on shift and Evan didn’t ever call when he was. He’d text occasionally, but he never wanted to bother his boyfriend, especially if he was out on a call.

“Hey, is this a bad time?” Evan asked. He knew he sounded like something was seriously wrong, but he couldn’t bring himself to pretend that everything was going great. The dread was settling like a physical weight on his chest, and he was having a hard time breathing around it.

“No, no,” Tommy said. “We’re just hanging out. What’s going on?”

“Maddie called me last night; she said the Buckleys want to talk to me. I guess they’ve been bugging her about it. Chimney finally convinced her to tell me about it, said I deserve closure if I want it.” Evan took a shuddering breath. “Our plane leaves in two hours. We’re going to Hershey to visit them in prison,”

“Do you want me to come with you?” Tommy asked. “I can ask to leave.”

“No, no,” Evan said. “You don’t have to do that. I’ve got Maddie going with me, it’ll be fine. It’s just one conversation and then we’re coming right back. Um, I’m not telling my dad. The only people who know this is happening are me, Maddie, Chimney, and you. I’ll tell my dad when I get back, but for now, would you mind not saying anything?”

“Of course, baby,” Tommy sighed. “Are you sure there isn’t anything I can do?”

“You’re already doing it,” Evan told him, feeling tears come to his eyes. Tommy was so supportive. He’d never had a partner support him the way that Tommy did. He’d never been treated as well as he had been since he’d been dating Tommy. “You’re so amazing, you know that?”

“Evan,” Tommy breathed. “I’m just treating you the way you deserve to be treated. There’s nothing special about it,”

“It’s special to me,” Evan told him.

His phone dinged and he pulled it away from his face to see that Chimney had texted.

Chimney 7:32 A.M. – We’re here.

Evan sighed and got up, grabbing his bag, wallet, and keys.

“They’re here, I’ve got to go,” He told Tommy as he turned off the lights and left his apartment, locking it up behind him. “Be safe, okay?”

“You too, baby,” Tommy said. “Text me when you land and call if you need me.”

“I will,” Evan promised. “Bye, babe,”

“Bye,”

He hurried down the stairs and hopped into the backseat of Chimney’s SUV.

“Hello, sister and brother-in-law, and my niece! Hi Jee-Yun! Isn’t today a beautiful day to go visit a prison?” Evan asked his niece cheerfully.

“Did you take something?” Chimney asked as he started driving to the airport.

“No, but if they offer alcohol on the plane, you better believe that I’m ordering a drink,” Evan said seriously. “I don’t know that I can go into this sober,”

“I think you’ll regret it if you don’t,” Chimney told him seriously. “Go into this with a clear head, Evan, say everything you need to say in the exact way that you want to say it. Don’t leave this with regrets, don’t go into this with malice, go into this with the goal to try and get the truth out of them, but do it with dignity. Do it in a way that you can look back on this in a year and be proud of the way that you handled it.”

“Maybe on the plane, you can write down what you want to say,” Maddie said. “I brought a notebook and pen for you. I figured you wouldn’t,”

“No, I didn’t,” Evan said quietly as he offered Jee his hand. She took two of his fingers in her tiny hands and babbled. “Thanks,”

They settled into a tense silence for the rest of the drive, Jee-Yun blissfully unaware.

Chimney dropped them off at their terminal. He got out of the car and stopped Evan with a hand on his bicep.

“I won’t tell Bobby,” Chimney promised. “But you need to, when you get back.”

“Yeah, I will,” Evan promised. “I’ll tell him before our next shift. Don’t worry.”

“Have you told Tommy yet?” Chimney asked. “That you’re going?”

“Yeah, he’s the only one who knows besides you,”

“Just don’t let them get to you,” Chimney advised. “You know who you are. Don’t let them tell you anything different. We love you, kid. They don’t matter. Not really.”

Evan pulled the other man into a hug, slapped him on the back, and followed Maddie into the airport.

Chapter 24: Chapter Twenty-Four

Chapter Text

Maddie sat beside Evan at the metal table in the private room they’d been given at the prison. He had notebook paper sitting in front of him, on it was everything he’d written while they were on the plane. Everything he’d decided that he wanted to say to them.

Tommy had texted him, encouraging as always, and reminded him that no matter what the Buckleys said, he was waiting for him back at home and that he and Jax couldn’t wait to see him again.

The door on the other side of the table opened and Margaret and Phillip Buckley were led in, their hands cuffed. They were both in ugly colored jumpsuits and they looked miserable. Part of Evan felt vindicated seeing them like that.

They sat in the chairs across from Evan and Maddie, Margaret took the chair directly across from him. He met her eyes and didn’t feel anything until she had the audacity to smile at him.

“Evan, it’s so good to see you,” Margaret said. “We were so happy when we heard you were alive,”

“Yeah?” Evan asked, unimpressed. “Is that why you left while I was still in a coma?”

“Did Maddie tell you that?” Phillip asked, sounding offended. “We were practically run out of there by that Captain of yours,”

“You mean my dad,” Evan snapped. “the dad that you stole me from,”

“We found you,” Margaret told him in that whiny voice of hers.

“That’s not what you told the Judge,” Evan pointed out. “You confessed. I got to read the transcript,”

Margaret and Phillip both looked surprised.

“Why even take me? You couldn’t have known that I’d be a match for Daniel, was it to replace him once he was gone?” Evan asked.

They didn’t answer.

“Don’t you think you owe me some answers?” Evan asked. “You stole my life from me. You ruined my family’s lives. I could have had parents who loved me. I could have known my younger siblings. Why kidnap me just to treat me the way that you did?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Phillip sounded exasperated. “We didn’t mistreat you,”

“Evan,” Maddie said quietly. “Did you want to read them what you wrote?”

He looked down at the papers in front of him and tried to see the words through the red tinge that had overtaken his vision. What did it matter? They were a bunch of pretty words that all summed up one thing.

“You took me from a loving family,” he said quietly. “You took me from a good life. You put through a major procedure to save your son, it failed, and you have spent my entire life looking through me. You have spent my entire life blaming me for something that was outside of my control. When I told you that I’m bisexual, you said horrible things to me. You hit me. You have spent my entire life making me feel like I was never enough. Why couldn’t you have just left me alone? Why couldn’t you drop me off somewhere where they would have found me when you decided that you didn’t want me anywhere? I deserve some closure from you. I deserve it,”

“Our son was dying,” Phillip said quietly. “And there you were, you looked just like he had at that age. No one was paying any attention to you. It was so easy. It was like God had his hands in it, you were a match. It worked out perfectly. No one asked any questions, we got the operation, and then it didn’t work. Daniel died and the sight of you… if you were going to be the cause of our suffering, we decided that we would be the cause of yours.”

“You kept me to punish me for him dying?” Evan asked. “I was just a kid!”

“Our son died because of you!” Margaret yelled.

Evan flinched and Maddie sat forward, flaming pissed.

“That was not his fault!” She snapped. “He was a child! He didn’t ask to be brought into this family. You stole him from his parents. You took another parent's son from them, just like Daniel was taken from you. Don’t you get that? You inflicted your own suffering onto some other poor family, and you didn’t think twice about it. Don’t you think you got what you deserved?”

“How dare you say that about your brother!” Margaret gasped. “How dare you say he deserved to die.”

“I didn’t say that Daniel deserved it,” Maddie said. “I’m saying that you deserved to suffer.”

Phillip shook his head and looked at Evan.

“You stopped asking about your parents so quickly.” He said. “Sure, there was some confusion. You didn’t understand what was happening. You mixed up details. But you stopped asking after a week or two. Like I said, it was so easy. You forgot all about them. How do you think that will make them feel? When they find out that you gave up so quickly?”

“My dad loves me,” Evan said quietly.

“He loves the idea of you,” Phillip corrected. “That little boy standing outside the firehouse. That’s what he sees when he looks at you. He doesn’t see you.”

“You don’t know the first thing about him,” Evan snapped.

“I know that he’s opinionated,” Phillip shrugged. “He’s got a clear idea of how things are supposed to be. What happens when you don’t conform to that?”

Evan stood up from the table, chair screeching back, and he turned around and stormed out of the room. A police officer escorted him back out to the waiting area and Maddie hurried along after him.

“Evan!” She cried. “Evan, wait,”

But Evan was stuck in his head, replaying what Phillip had told him.

You forgot all about them. How do you think that will make them feel? You gave up so quickly. What happens when you don’t conform?

He wanted to get the hell out of Hershey, but he couldn’t go back to L.A., not yet.

“I need to get out of here,” Evan said as they walked through the parking lot.

“Let’s head to the hotel,” Maddie suggested.

“No,” Evan shook his head as he pulled his phone out and started arranging things. “Could you drop me at the airport?”

“Our flight isn’t until tomorrow morning,” Maddie said, confused as they stopped next to the rental car.

“I’m not going back to L.A.,” Evan said. “I’m going to go see my friends in Austin for a few days,”

“You’re running,” Maddie said, accusatory.

“No, I’m taking some time, clearing my head.” Evan corrected. “I’ll be back in L.A. by the end of the week,”

“What about work?” Maddie asked.

“I’ll text my dad when I land in Austin,” Evan promised. “Just let me tell him what’s going on when I’m ready?”

“This is going to kill Chimney,” Maddie muttered as she climbed into the car and started it up. “I hope you know what you’re doing,”

“I do,” Evan said. “I just need some time, besides TK and Carlos wanted me to come to visit, I’m just not giving them a heads-up about it. What could possibly go wrong?”

Chapter 25: Chapter Twenty-Five

Chapter Text

TK thought he was joking at first. When Evan called him he was on shift at the firehouse, just hanging out with his team. Evan had asked him if he knew of anyone who could come pick him up from the airport, and TK burst out laughing.

“That’s a good one,”

“No, man, I’m serious,” Evan said. “I’m in Austin. Can I crash with you for a few days?”

“Oh,” TK sounded stunned. “Yeah, of course you can. Let me call Carlos, we’ll figure something out. Hang tight,”

Evan thanked his friend and took a seat on one of the benches outside the airport. He pulled his phone out and sent a quick text to Maddie, apologizing again and letting her know that he’d landed safely.

He was beginning to regret getting on the plane in a t-shirt and jeans because he’d forgotten how humid Texas was when Carlos pulled up in his police cruiser and leveled Evan with an unimpressed look.

Evan smiled sheepishly at the officer, got up, grabbed his bag, and approached the vehicle.

“Wanna tell me what happened?” he asked after Evan had tossed his duffel bag in the backseat and climbed into the passenger seat.

“My kidnappers wanted to talk to me,” Evan said sullenly, staring out the window. “so my sister and I went to see them, I didn’t tell anyone, including my dad, other than my boyfriend and my sister’s boyfriend. Things were said, and now I can’t face my dad. So, I ran and I figured if I was going to run it would be better to run to you guys.”

“Wow,” Carlos said under his breath. “Man, I’m so sorry, I can’t even imagine.”

“I’m sorry to just show up. I didn’t know where else to go. If I didn’t run to someone I knew, I was worried I’d just keep running.”

It was the Buckley family way, after all. And as much as he’d like to completely erase that time in his life and just move on as Evan Nash, he was Evan Buckley for twenty-four years. That left its mark on him. Like Maddie, Evan was more inclined to run when things got hard than he was to try and figure things out in a rational, mature manner.

It was easier to leave before you got left.

“You can always come to us,” Carlos told him, glancing over at him with a sad smile. “It’s no trouble.”

“You had to come pick me up while you’re on duty,” Evan pointed out. “It feels like it was some trouble,”

Carlos shook his head. “If I got a call, I’d just take you with me,” he shrugged. “It really isn’t a problem. If it was, someone else would have come to get you,”

“I could’ve ordered an Uber,” Evan sighed. “I should’ve ordered an Uber. I’m sorry,”

“Evan?” Carlos didn’t take his eyes off the road.

“Yeah?”

“Shut up,”

When they got to the police station they parked next to a nice, blue Camaro. Carlos immediately got out of the cruiser and Evan followed his lead, grabbing his bag out of the back.

“Is that yours?” Evan asked, gesturing to the car.

He dropped his bag on the sidewalk and stepped forward, careful to keep a respectful distance away from the car while still blatantly admiring it.

“It is,” Carlos said. “Heads up,”

Evan turned just in time for Carlos to toss him a set of keys.

“You can take my car, go shopping, get what you need for however long you’re going to be here,” Carlos told him. “Just pick TK up from work at three and come back for me at five. I’ll text you the address for the firehouse and Captain Strand’s house. The house key is the little gold one.”

Evan felt like his brain was in the process of malfunctioning. He could literally feel it short-circuiting. He couldn’t quite keep up with what Carlos was saying to him, he could see the man’s lips moving, forming words, but the meaning behind them was getting lost somewhere before they could reach Evan’s ears.

“Wait,” Evan held up his hands and nearly dropped the keys. “Are you sure you’re okay with me taking your car? I can order an Uber or something.” Evan said.

“Take the car,” Carlos said. “I have to get back to work. Stay out of trouble, go to the firehouse if you want to, they’ll be happy to see you. I’ll text you, okay?”

Carlos went inside before Evan could protest again; the door slamming shut behind him with finality. Evan was left standing there in front of the car, clutching the keys, looking like an idiot, he was sure.

He looked back at the car and couldn’t help the feeling of wistfulness. It couldn’t hurt, right? I mean, Carlos had said he could drive it, and Evan would be careful. He picked up his bag and put it in the trunk before he slid into the driver’s seat. He took a deep breath and blew it out, relaxing back against the seat and just letting himself be for the first time in two days.

When the moment was over, he looked around and admired the clean interior of the car. It was a nice car. Tommy would love it.

Oh, sh*t. Evan needed to call Tommy. He checked the time and did the math, comparing the time zones. Tommy would have just gotten off his shift. Evan hooked his phone up to the Bluetooth in Carlos’ car and started driving around to find somewhere to buy some clothes cheap.

He called Tommy and his boyfriend picked up almost immediately.

“Hey, how’s Pennsylvania?” Tommy asked cheerfully.

Straight to business, then. Evan thought with a slight grimace.

“Yeah,” Evan stretched the word out. “About that,”

“Oh, no,” Tommy said. “What happened?”

“Well, everything’s fine, so no need to be worried or anything,” Evan said slowly.

“I’m your boyfriend, Evan,” Tommy said dryly. “Worrying about you is part of the job description. What happened?”

“We went and saw them this morning, and it didn’t go well,” Evan sighed as he spotted a Walmart.

That’ll work. He thought and got into the turn lane.

Tommy stayed silent, letting Evan have all the time he needed to say whatever it was that he wanted to say.

“I panicked,” Evan admitted. “I panicked and now I’m in Texas.”

“Oh,” Tommy sounded a little confused. “And how’s that going? Was Maddie excited to see Grace again?”

“You know, she’s not actually with me,” Evan said.

“Evan,” Tommy said in that tone. “This is like pulling teeth. You know I care about you, and I want to be patient, but I’m exhausted and I’m having trouble keeping up, so why don’t you give it to me straight, this time? Please?”

Evan sighed and silently agreed with his boyfriend. It was better to stop playing games and just tell him exactly what was going on.

“I don’t even know why they asked to talk to me,” Evan said in exasperation as he pulled into the Walmart parking lot and pulled into a spot. “It’s like they wanted to get one last dig in or mind f*ck me one last time. And I let them! I let it happen! I got up, I left, and I asked Maddie to drop me off at the airport so I could run. I ran all the way to Texas because I don’t think I can look my dad in the eyes after this.”

“Why?” Tommy asked his tone so gentle and kind that it brought tears to Evan’s eyes.

He put his head in his hands and took a shaky breath.

“They told me that I barely even asked about my parents after they took me.” Evan’s voice wavered. “I gave up so quickly. I just let all of that happen and I didn’t fight back,”

“Baby, you were just a little kid,” Tommy said imploringly. “Don’t blame yourself for that,”

“But how could I just forget about my parents?” Evan said, feeling a little hysterical.

“You don’t know what really happened,” Tommy reminded him. “Right now, you’re taking the words of a psychopath as the complete and absolute truth. It’s like you said, they were probably hoping to mess with you one last time and ruin what you’ve got going for you, now. Who’s to say that they aren’t lying to you?”

Evan really thought about it, and he realized that Tommy had a point.

“Oh, God,” he groaned. “I’m an idiot,”

“No,” Tommy said sternly. “You’re just someone who’s been hurt, and you don’t know who to trust right now. I’m asking you to trust me and trust your dad. He loves you, Ev. Don’t let those people take that away from you.”

“You’re right,” Evan let his head fall back against the headrest. “I’m sorry,”

“You have nothing to be sorry about.” His boyfriend said evenly. “How long are you going to stay in Texas, then?”

“Just a few days,” Evan said. “I’ll be back by the end of the week. I think it’d be good to clear my head and just get away from the situation for a minute.”

“Do you want me to come down there?” Tommy offered. “I don’t mind,”

“No, that’s okay,” Evan said. “I don’t want our first trip together to be because I had a mental breakdown,”

“I want to be there for you if you need me,” Tommy said seriously.

“And you are,” Evan pointed out. “You picked up the phone, you’re talking to me even though I know you’re exhausted. That means more to me than you realize.”

“Okay,” Tommy sighed. “You’re with TK and Carlos, though, right?”

“Carlos came and got me from the airport and gave me his car,” Evan explained. “But they’re both working.”

“So, you’re alone and spiraling?” Evan could hear the worry returning to his boyfriend’s voice.

“No, I’m not spiraling any more thanks to you,” he said. “and I’m just grabbing a few things from the store and then I’m going to the firehouse to see TK,”

“Okay,” Tommy sounded like he wanted to say more. “You know if you want me to come be with you, I will. All you have to do is ask,”

“I know that,” Evan agreed. “And I am so grateful, but I’ve got this,”

“Okay,” Tommy whispered. “Just come home, okay?”

“I promise,” Evan said. “Now I have to call my dad and break the news that I won’t be at work this week,”

Tommy chortled. “Good luck with that one,”

They hung up and Evan parked outside a Walmart. He sighed and went to dial his father’s number, but he chickened out and sent a text, instead.

Evan Nash 1:34 P.M. – Hey, I won’t be in for work this week. Out of town. Sorry! See you when I get back.

He silenced his notifications for the text conversation, stuffed his phone into his back pocket, and headed into the store.

He grabbed a few tank tops, Texas was f*cking humid, and a few pairs of shorts. He also grabbed some more socks and underwear and some snacks and drinks so that he wouldn’t eat all of Captain Strand’s food after showing up unannounced. He figured he could stuff it in TK and Carlos’ bedroom and hide it from the captain so he wouldn’t get on to them for eating unhealthy food.

He checked out, put his bags in the trunk, and checked his phone.

Unsurprisingly, his father had already tried to call him twice and had sent him several texts.

Dad 1:37 P.M. – What do you mean you’re out of town? Where are you?

Dad 1:43 P.M. – Evan, what’s going on?

Dad 1:45 P.M. – Please call me back.

Dad 1:50 P.M. – Buddy, I’m worried.

Dad 2:08 P.M. - Please, just let me know that you’re okay.

Evan dialed his dad’s number as he pulled out of the parking lot and headed toward the firehouse.

“Evan?” Bobby sounded relieved. “What the hell is going on?”

“Dad, I’m fine.” Evan tried to sound reassuring.

“Where did you go that you had to leave so suddenly?” Bobby asked.

Evan wasn’t sure that he could handle having this conversation right now. The one he’d had with Tommy before going inside had drained him emotionally. He didn’t want a repeat of that and despite what Tommy had said about Bobby loving him and that Evan shouldn’t let the Buckleys ruin things for him, he was still afraid of telling his father that he’d gone to talk to his kidnappers without telling him.

How do you tell your father that you’d gone to see and talk to the people who’d ruined your lives?

He was regretting ever going back to Hershey, now. It had turned out to be more trouble than the whole situation was worth.

“I left yesterday morning,” Evan told him. “I’ll explain when I get home. I just need some time to think, please, just let me have that,”

“I’m worried about you,” Bobby said. There was more emotion in his voice than Evan was used to. It made him waver in his resolve to keep his mouth shut until he got back to L.A.

“I know,” Evan sighed. “I’m okay, though. Alright? I’m fine, I’m safe, I’m with people that I trust. I just need some time.”

“Did I do something wrong?” Bobby asked him.

And damn if that didn’t make Evan feel like the biggest piece of sh*t on the planet. Even when he was trying to protect the people that he loved, he managed to f*ck everything up.

“No, this isn’t about you,” Evan said quietly. “This is about me,”

There was a moment where neither of them said anything. Evan listened to the sound of Bobby breathing on the other end of the line. It was an unsteady sound; he was clearly upset, and Evan had to will himself to hold his tears back. He didn’t want to cry anymore. He’d done enough of that today.

“When are you coming home?” Bobby finally asked. He sounded resigned.

“I’ll be back in time for my shift next Monday,” Evan promised.

Bobby let out a long sigh. “Yeah, okay,” he said. “Just keep in touch, if only to let me know you’re still okay.”

It sounded a lot like let me know you’re still alive.

And that made Evan feel like sh*t.

“I will,” He pulled into the firehouse parking lot. “I have to go. I love you, Dad,”

“I love you, too, kiddo,” Evan tried to ignore how sad his father sounded.

He hung up the phone and stared down at the lock screen for a moment. It was a picture from the game night they’d had not too long ago. Evan was in the middle, Tommy on one side of him, TK on the other, and Bobby standing directly behind him with his hands on his shoulders, looking every inch the proud father that he’d proven himself to be.

He took a deep breath and got out of Carlos’ car, sliding his phone into his back pocket, and wandered into the firehouse. He looked around in awe. He’d never seen a firehouse as nice as that one. It was modern, fancy, and well-kept.

He had to stamp down the urge to take pictures and send them to Bobby for inspiration. Maybe they could remodel.

“Damn, this is nice,” Evan muttered.

“Hey, Hollywood!” A familiar voice hollered.

Evan spotted Judd Ryder coming his way, arms outstretched with a big grin on his face. He had a towel in his hand, judging from the direction he was coming from Evan figured he’d been cleaning the ladder truck when he’d seen Evan walk in.

“Hey, Judd!” Evan headed toward him, smiling as well.

“You missed us that much?” Judd asked as he pulled Evan into a hug and slapped his back enthusiastically. “It’s been, what? Two weeks?”

“If that,” Evan agreed. “Missed your ugly mug too much,”

Judd laughed, took Evan by the shoulder, and led him over to the kitchen where everyone else was gathered. Again, Evan found himself looking around the room in awe. It was much nicer than their firehouse, he had to begrudgingly admit.

“Look what the cat dragged in!” Judd announced, ruffling Evan’s hair as he all but pushed him toward the group of people assembled around the kitchen island.

“Hey, man!” TK came over and hugged him. “You okay?”

“Not really,” Evan admitted with a shaky smile. “I don’t want to talk about it right now, though,”

“Later,” TK nodded. “You remember my dad, right?”

Owen Strand came forward and shook Evan’s hand.

“Yes, it’s good to see you again, sir,” He smiled. “I’m Evan Nash,”

“You went by a different name last time we met, right?” Owen looked confused.

“Evan Buckley,” He confirmed. “Everyone called me Buck. Um, I found out that I was kidnapped not too long ago, so everyone calls me Evan, now,”

“I’m very sorry to hear that,” Owen frowned. “You’ve been a wonderful friend to TK and Carlos from what I’ve heard, you’re welcome to stay with us for as long as you need,”

“Thank you, sir,” Evan said and Owen smiled and left the room.

Evan leaned in and whispered in TK’s ear. “I bought snacks for us to hide. They’re in the trunk of the car,”

“He gets off an hour later than I do,” TK murmured. “We’ll hide them before he gets home.”

Evan extended a fist and TK bumped his against it in agreement.

Evan was pulled into a conversation by Marjan AKA FireFox and Mateo, whom he remembered had badgered him about his cousin Marvin. He had to tell him that no, he still didn’t know who that was.

TK then pulled Evan by the elbow over to two women. He introduced his partner, Nancy, who smiled and shook Evan’s hand politely, and then his captain, Tommy, which had Evan smiling and excitedly telling the woman that his boyfriend’s name was Tommy, so he’d definitely never forget her name.

That had made Nancy and Tommy laugh.

“Did you get everything you needed?” TK asked as he led Evan to the couch just past the dining area. “I told Carlos to tell you to go buy some clothes.”

“Yeah, I did, thanks,” Evan accepted the cup of coffee that his friend offered him.

“Evan,” TK said quietly. “not that I’m not thrilled that you’re here, but what’s going on? Why did you get on a plane and come here with no notice? Again, don’t get me wrong, you’re always welcome here. It’s just not like you,”

“Maddie called me Thursday night,” Evan whispered, staring down into his coffee mug. “Her parents had been asking to see me. They wouldn’t leave her alone about it, so she checked to see if I wanted some closure, and I thought that I did. I thought that it would give me some peace or something stupid like that, and so we got on a plane yesterday morning and flew to Hershey. We went and saw them this morning, and it went badly. They got into my head, and it messed me up. I panicked and ran here, to you guys.”

“Well, I’m glad that you know this is a safe place for you,” TK said. “Like my dad said, you can stay as long as you want,”

“I’ll be gone by the end of the week,” Evan told him. “I told my dad I’d be back for work next Monday and I promised Tommy that I’d come home.”

“I’ll take you to my favorite juice bar tomorrow,” TK told him. “Carlos and I have been wanting to go check out this museum exhibit in town for ages, maybe we can do that too.”

“I don’t want to crash your plans, I just need space. I can’t… I can’t face my dad yet,”

“Why not?” TK’s brow furrowed.

“He doesn’t know, yet,” Evan admitted. “That I went to see them. I didn’t even tell him that I wasn’t in L.A. until I got here.”

“Oh, man,” TK sighed. “When are you going to tell him? You are going to tell him, right?”

“When I get back to L.A.” Evan swore. “I’m not going to keep it from him, I just need to get my head on straight and my thoughts in order, and then I’ll be out of your hair,”

“You’re not in our hair,” TK said. “Take your time, it’s fine,”

Evan sighed and relaxed back against the couch. He took a sip of the coffee and sighed in contentment. It was amazing coffee. He could get used to this if he wasn’t careful; the nice firehouse and the amazing coffee.

But he needed to go home. He couldn’t hide out here. He needed to go back and face his father and hold his boyfriend in his arms again. He wouldn’t stay here long. He’d enjoy his friends’ company and then he would go back to where he belonged, because for the first time ever, he had somewhere to run back to.

Chapter 26: Chapter Twenty-Six

Chapter Text

“No, he’d find them, there,” TK shook his head as Evan went to stash the snacks and drinks in the closet of the bedroom that TK and Carlos were staying in.

“Is your father in the habit of searching your bedroom?” Evan asked him with raised brows.

“Boundaries are kind of fluid here,” TK grimaced.

“So where should we put them?” He wondered.

“He doesn’t look through the nightstands,” TK suggested. “He doesn’t want to know what we have in there.”

“I don’t want to know what you have in there,” Evan said. “I also don’t want my food anywhere near whatever you have in there,”

TK rolled his eyes. “That stuff is in the drawers…”

“I don’t want to know that,” Evan interrupted.

“I’m suggesting you put the snacks in the little doors,” He opened the door on one of the nightstands in demonstration.

Evan begrudgingly handed over the bag of snacks and TK painstakingly arranged them so that they’d all fit in the nightstand. They moved over to the other side of the bed and TK stacked all the drinks inside the other nightstand.

“There,” TK said proudly as he closed the door on the nightstand. “he’ll never know,”

They left to go get Carlos right as Owen was getting home. The captain promised that dinner would be done by the time they got back and TK gave Evan a look behind his father’s back. When they got into the car, the younger man told him that Owen was on vegan kick and apparently TK and Carlos were desperate for some sort of meat.

Evan suggested they stop and get burgers the next day after the trip to the museum. TK looked like he could keel over from relief.

When they got to the station, TK texted his boyfriend, and Evan climbed into the backseat so that Carlos could drive back to the house. When the officer all but collapsed into his seat, TK leaned over conspiratorially and told Carlos that Evan had smuggled contraband into the house for the three of them.

Carlos turned around, eyes wide, and looked at Evan like he’d personally hung the moon.

“I could kiss you,” Carlos told him seriously.

“Please don’t,” Evan and TK said in unison.

They got through dinner without issue, although TK looked like he might murder Evan as he told Owen that the food had been delicious. Owen had then led Evan upstairs to the guest bedroom and told him to make himself at home.

“I just have to ask,” Owen said, closing the door behind them as Evan placed his bag on the bed. “Are you in some kind of trouble? Are you running from something or someone?”

Evan shook his head.

“No, it’s nothing like that, sir,” Evan promised. “It’s just, um, I went and visited my kidnappers in prison, trying to get some closure, and I didn’t tell my dad about it. I didn’t even tell him that I was leaving town. And they said some things, when I visited them, that now I’m realizing were probably just to mess with my head, but I couldn’t go back and look my dad in the eye and tell him what I did,”

Owen looked devastated. “I don’t know your father, so I can’t speak for him, but I can speak from the perspective of a father who loves his son more than life itself. I couldn’t imagine holding something that TK did to give himself some peace of mind against him. Would I be worried about him? Yes, of course. I’m his father, I am always going to be worried about him. Just like I’m sure your father is out of his mind, worried about you. In the end, you need to do what is best for yourself, but, Evan,” Owen put his hand on his shoulder. “I don’t think that you have as much to worry about when it comes to facing your father as you have built up in your head. I think that he’s going to be thrilled and relieved that you came home and that he’s going to be more worried about you than whatever those people had to say about you or him.”

Evan let a few tears escape from the corners of his eyes.

“I just don’t want to let him down,” Evan admitted.

Owen put his other hand on Evan’s other shoulder. “I can’t imagine that it would be that easy to let him down.” He said. “You’re a good kid with a good head on your shoulders from what I’ve heard. You’re a great friend to TK and Carlos. Judd and Grace had nothing but wonderful things to say about you. You’re a firefighter, and from what I’ve seen and heard, you’re a damn good one. I’m positive that you haven’t done anything bad enough to cancel out all that good. Your father would be a fool to be disappointed in you.”

“Thank you, sir,” Evan said, voice thick with tears.

Owen sighed sympathetically and held his arms out. “C’mere, kid,”

Evan allowed the captain to pull him into his arms and give him a comforting hug.

“You can stay here as long as you need,” Owen told him, rubbing his back. “you’re always welcome here, you’re family. Just consider talking to your father, sooner rather than later.”

***

TK took his role of tour guide with excitement. Evan and Carlos exchanged amused looks more often than not, behind the other man’s back. They went to the juice bar that TK had mentioned, and then to the museum, which Evan loved. He kept pointing out all the interesting facts that were engraved on plaques in front of the exhibits and his friends listened to him intently instead of telling him to shut up, which was really nice.

Evan even took pictures of a few of the plaques and sent them to Tommy, not really expecting him to text back. To his surprise, his boyfriend texted back enthusiastically, even asking a few questions some of which Evan had to ask an employee.

He, TK, and Carlos found a particularly cool-looking exhibit that they ended up taking a selfie in front of and Evan, after a moment of hesitation, sent it to Bobby as well as Tommy and Maddie. Hoping that maybe seeing him looking happy with his friends might be enough to calm his father down a bit.

They went through the rest of the museum and spent a significant amount of time there before they finally left and went to Carlos’ favorite burger joint, and they savored every bite of the unhealthy, fatty food. They took another selfie, this time TK had his burger in his mouth, Carlos was sipping on a milkshake, and Evan was laughing as the officer snapped the picture.

He sent that to Bobby and Tommy as well and this time Bobby responded.

Dad 3:17 P.M. – You look like you’re having fun.

Evan knew that his father was confused, and he didn’t understand why Evan had left town, only to seemingly be taking a vacation with his friends. That was Evan’s fault, he knew. He shouldn’t have gone in the first place; the idea of closure was so alluring, but he should have known. He should have known that the Buckleys wouldn’t have made things that easy for him.

They’d never made anything easy on him, as much as they liked to say the same thing about him. Every time he wanted to do something, or didn’t want to do something, it was an argument. It had been better when Maddie was still in the house before she’d left with Doug. She’d always been so good to him, and she had done her best to shield him from the brunt of their hatred of him.

Once she left there was nothing stopping them from making sure he knew just how unloved he was in, in Evan’s opinion, one of the worst ways possible. Rather than spitting insults and throwing punches, they’d pretended that he hadn’t existed. He lost count of how many times he’d introduced himself as Evan Buckley around town and someone had blinked in surprise and said ‘Oh, I didn’t realize Phillip and Margaret had a son!’

How many birthdays and Christmases had gone ignored? How many school events, or sports games had he looked out into the crowd and realized that no one had shown up for him? He almost hadn’t bothered to go to his High School graduation, because at that point he’d been resigned to the fact that nothing he did, no achievement of his would ever make them love him.

So why on earth did he give a single sh*t about what they had to say about him? About his father? Was it just ingrained in him now? This desire to garner their approval? He hoped not. He wanted to move on, he wanted to continue to build stable and healthy relationships.

Over the course of the next five days, Carlos and TK took him to all their favorite places.

TK insisted on taking him to a few stores, saying that his fashion sense left much to be desired. He bought him a few button-down shirts, tight T-shirts, and some jeans that he swore would have Tommy all over him. Evan wasn’t convinced, but he packed the new clothes into his bag and thanked his friend.

He went and looked at a few apartments with Carlos and TK, as well. He understood why they were having so much trouble finding a place. Luckily Carlos didn’t seem to be getting annoyed with his boyfriend, but TK was insistent that they find the perfect place. Meanwhile, Carlos said he didn’t care where they lived, all that mattered to him was that he lived with TK.

On the days that his friends were busy, their friends stepped up and tried to keep Evan busy. Judd took him to his uncle’s place, slapped a cowboy hat on his head, and forced him onto the back of a horse. The Texan was pleasantly surprised to find that Evan was already comfortable on horseback.

“I worked on a ranch in Billings for a few months,” Evan told him, grinning.

“Well, alright then,” Judd drawled. “Let’s see what you’ve got, Hollywood,”

The next day, Judd took him deer hunting which was an experience. The man was thankfully patient with him, but he did call him a wuss when Evan got a little squeamish at the idea of hurting an animal. Evan didn’t take that lightly and he shot the deer which had Judd hooting and hollering in celebration.

Evan was then dragged back to Judd and Grace’s house for dinner. Thankfully, the deer he’d shot was not dinner. Judd told him he wasn’t that cruel, but he’d be sure to mail him some of the jerky they made from it.

Evan wasn’t sure if he was kidding or not, but he told himself he wouldn’t eat anything that Judd sent him. Hopefully, TK wouldn’t give the man his address. Who was he kidding? Of course, he would.

Everything had been going smoothly. Owen had been very accommodating. He hadn’t brought their conversation up once since that first night, which was so incredibly refreshing. Had he been back at home, he was sure his friends would have been badgering him nonstop about what was going on and they, despite their good intentions, would have forced him into facing his feelings long before he was ready.

Bobby had texted him a few times, not asking him to explain anything, just wanting to make sure that he was still okay. Evan had been sending him pictures; a few selfies with TK, Carlos, or other members of the 126, a picture of the interior of the firehouse, him on horseback with the cowboy hat Judd had insisted he keep on his head, him holding the shotgun Judd had forced into his hands. Bobby made sure to reply to each picture that Evan sent, and the tone was always positive. He’d yet to say anything negative about Evan’s whole trip.

He'd been sending Tommy the same pictures, as well, and Tommy had been very enthusiastic about the one on horseback.

Tommy 5:27 PM – PLEASE tell me you’re bringing that hat back with you.

Tommy 5:28 PM – You look so sexy, baby.

Tommy had made it a point to call Evan every night and talk to him for a while, even if he was on shift. He’d kept telling him that he missed him but that he was glad that Evan was having a good time. In the last few days of the trip, he’d told Evan that he sounded better.

“I can’t quite put my finger on it, you just sound lighter if that makes sense,” Tommy said. “Like you’re more at peace. Are you feeling better?”

“I really am,” Evan agreed. “I think I finally got to a place where I’ve realized that they don’t matter anymore. Why do I care what they have to say?”

“Are you coming home?” Tommy asked quietly.

“I’ll see if there’s a flight tomorrow,” Evan told him. “I’ll text you and let you know.”

“I’ll come get you from the airport,” Tommy offered immediately.

“You don’t have to do that,” Evan tried to give him an out.

“You’re insane if you think I’m not going to jump on the first opportunity to see my boyfriend in a week,” Tommy told him seriously. “We haven’t gone that long without seeing each other since we met Evan. I feel like I’m going through withdrawals,”

“Yeah,” Evan whispered. “Me too. I miss you,”

“I’ll pick you up from the airport,” Tommy repeated.

Sure enough, Tommy was waiting for him just past baggage claim when he arrived back in Los Angeles. TK and Carlos had dropped him off at the Austin airport, hugging him tightly and promising to see him again soon, one way or another.

Evan rushed right over to Tommy who wrapped him in his arms and tucked his face into Evan’s neck. They clung to each other, just breathing each other in. Tommy’s hand was stroking up and down Evan’s back soothingly while his other arm was wrapped around his waist firmly. Evan wasn’t sure if he’d be able to get out of his boyfriend’s hold if he wanted to, he was holding him so tightly.

He leaned back slightly, and Tommy straightened up, not relinquishing his hold on him, but they pulled back far enough that they could press their lips together. Evan had been half expecting a fiery, passionate, heat-filled kiss, but it wasn’t anything like that.

It was tender and gentle. Evan almost dared to describe it as loving, but it couldn’t possibly be that. It was too soon to call what they had love, even if Evan wished he could. After all, hadn’t he dared to think that he loved Abby right before she decided to flee the country?

He couldn’t, and wouldn’t, jinx what he had with Tommy because even if he didn’t love the man yet he could tell that this relationship was important in a way that none of his others had ever been. What they had mattered.

“Come home with me, tonight,” Tommy breathed as he pulled away. “Please,”

Evan nodded and their noses brushed together.

“Of course,” Evan whispered.

Tommy led him out to the car, Evan’s bag slung over his shoulder and his arm still firmly around Evan’s waist. He tossed the bag into the truck bed and opened Evan’s door for him, just like always.

To say that Jax was thrilled to see him was an understatement. The dog practically attacked Evan the second that he crossed the threshold and Tommy had to pull him off so that Evan could make it to the living room and sit on the floor to give the poor thing the attention that he deserved.

Tommy went upstairs and put Evan’s bag in his bedroom while Jax and Evan got reacquainted. When he came back down he was in sweats instead of the jeans and button-down he’d been wearing at the airport. He sat on the floor beside Evan and put his hand on his leg.

“Does your dad know that you’re back?” Tommy asked.

“You’re the only one that does,” Evan admitted. “I figured I’d go see him tomorrow,”

“I can drop you at your apartment after breakfast,” Tommy offered. “so you can get your car. That sounds like a conversation you need to have by yourselves.”

“Yeah,” Evan sighed. “I’m not really looking forward to it,”

Tommy gave him a sympathetic look and leaned forward to kiss his cheek. “I’ll make you dinner, what do you want?”

Evan laughed. “Honey, I think the world of you, but you cannot cook,” he said sweetly, softening the blow with a kiss to Tommy’s lips. “I can make us dinner,”

“You’ve been on a plane all day,” Tommy shook his head. “I’ll order something.”

“Pizza?” Evan looked at him hopefully.

“Pizza,” Tommy agreed.

They had a quiet night, cuddled together on the couch watching a movie and eating their dinner, trading kisses. Eventually, those kisses turned heated and Tommy laid Evan back against the couch, covering his body with his own. His kisses turned hard and passionate. His tongue slid against Evan’s.

He trailed kisses down Evan’s neck, his stubble rubbing deliciously against his skin. Evan whined and Tommy looked up at him, pupils blown wide with lust.

“Please,” Evan whispered.

They made their way upstairs, shed their clothes, and fell into bed together. Tommy blanketed his body with his own, Evan wrapped his arms around him and let his boyfriend settle between his legs. They kept kissing, but eventually, the kisses grew tender and gentle, and… Evan didn’t dare to think it. But he couldn’t help but wonder about that word again as Tommy handled him so carefully, so gently, so tenderly.

They went slow. Tommy hiked Evan’s legs up around his waist and looked him in the eyes the entire time. Evan stroked his boyfriend’s face, and he thought maybe he was talking, but he couldn’t remember what was said.

Maybe a constant chant of please and yes and Tommy.

He barely remembers what came after. He was so exhausted and spent, but he will never forget the way that Tommy ran the warm, wet washcloth over his skin and then pulled him into his arms, letting him settle against his chest, ear over Tommy’s heartbeat as he fell asleep.

He felt warm, and safe, and loved.

Chapter 27: Chapter Twenty-Seven

Chapter Text

Evan had woken up naked in his boyfriend’s bed that morning. Tommy had been pressed against his back, his arms wrapped securely around the younger man, his nose pressed against the back of Evan’s head.

It was an amazing feeling.

They’d made breakfast together, Evan correcting Tommy several times and eventually shooing him over to the other side of the island, instructing him to sit and watch instead of risking burning the house down. Tommy had done as he was told, propping his chin against his hand and he watched Evan with a dreamy look on his face.

It felt like something had settled between them. There was no awkward morning-after moment, it just felt like this tension that had unknowingly been building between them had calmed and they were now more sure of their place in the other’s life. They were more confident in their relationship.

Tommy dropped Evan off outside his apartment. The younger man didn’t bother to head up and drop his bag off, he just tossed it in the backseat and hopped into his Jeep. He drove right over to Bobby and Athena’s house and was surprised to see both of their cars in the driveway.

He took a deep, shuddering breath. He had kind of hoped they wouldn’t be home when he arrived so that he could have a moment to calm himself, but instead, he got out of the car and let himself into the house.

They were in the kitchen; he could hear them laughing as they washed dishes together. Evan closed the door quietly; he didn’t think they saw his car pull up. He descended the stairs and rounded the corner into the dining room. He took a seat at the table and just watched as his dad and stepmother laughed and splashed each other with water.

He let a small smile curve his lips and he hoped that when they turned around and saw him, this happy atmosphere wouldn’t evaporate. He liked how happy this house always felt to him, he didn’t want to ruin that.

Athena turned around and gasped, hand coming up to her chest as she stared at him in shock. Bobby turned around quickly, looking for whatever had scared his wife and his eyes widened comically as he spotted Evan.

“Sorry, it looked like y’all were having fun,” Evan held his hands up apologetically. “Good thing you weren’t armed,”

“Evan,” Bobby sounded so relieved. He rushed forward and pulled Evan out of his chair and crushed him against his chest in a hug. “You’re back,”

“I’m sorry,” Evan said quietly. “I’m so sorry, Dad,”

“It’s okay,” Bobby shook his head and pulled him closer. “It’s okay. I’m just glad you’re okay,”

Evan let himself be held for as long as his father needed him to, and eventually, Bobby pulled back and allowed Athena to wrap him in her arms. She didn’t hug him for as long as Bobby had, but she’d hugged him tightly.

“Why did you fly to Texas?” Athena demanded.

“Well,” Evan shoved his hands in his pockets. “I actually didn’t go straight to Texas. That was after I panicked. Maddie and I went to Hershey,”

Realization dawned quicker on Athena’s face than it did on Bobby’s.

“Why on earth would you do that?” she asked calmly.

“I thought it would give me closure,” Evan looked at his father apologetically. “but it didn’t.”

“What made you go to Texas?” Bobby asked, trying to understand and be supportive.

“They said horrible things, and I immediately believed them instead of realizing that they were just trying to hurt me. I didn’t want to come back here and look you in the eyes, thinking what they said was true. So, I ran to my friends thinking that if I went anywhere else I would never have come back home.”

“Then I’m glad that you did what you needed to do,” Bobby told him. “being in Texas helped?”

“Yeah,” Evan nodded. “I don’t care what they said, I don’t care what they think. I know who I really am, and I know that my family loves me. I have a good life here with you guys, the 118, Maddie, and Tommy. I’m not going to let them trick me into blowing it up.”

“Good,” Athena said. “Those people don’t deserve a single thought in your mind. We love you, no matter what,”

“I love you, too, ‘Thena,” Evan said and he looked at his father who was watching him with love-filled eyes. “I love you, Dad. I’m sorry that I made you worry this week,”

“I’m always going to worry about you, Kid,” Bobby pulled him into another hug. “It doesn’t matter if you’re here or if you’re in Texas. I’m going to worry about you.”

“Yeah, but I made it worse,” Evan said, his voice muffled against Bobby’s shoulder.

Bobby pulled back and led Evan into the living room. He sat him down on the couch and crouched in front of him. Athena stayed back in the kitchen, giving them a moment.

“You did what you thought was best for yourself,” Bobby said, holding eye contact. “While I wish that you had told me you were going, I understand that was something that you needed to do on your own.” He reached out and cupped Evan’s face in his hands. “You are my son, and when you have your own kids, you’ll understand what I mean when I say that you are the most important person in my life. You will always come first and you never need to be afraid to come to me with anything, Evan. Don’t ever be afraid to come home. I love you more than anything, more than life itself.”

“I didn’t want to let you down,” Evan sobbed.

Bobby pulled him into his arms without hesitation. His hand cupped the back of Evan’s head, fingers carding through the hair there. He made soothing noises against Evan’s ear as he rubbed his back.

“You’ve never let me down,” he said in that tone that parents adopt when they’re trying to comfort their little children. Evan cried harder because he’d never had that tone used on him. It was just as comforting as he’d always imagined it would be.

“Dad,” He cried.

“I’ve got you,” Bobby readjusted his grip on him. “I’ve got you, buddy. I’ve got you, son. Dad’s here. Dad’s got you.”

Evan clung to his father, his body wracking with sobs as he let go of Evan Buckley for good. There was no turning back, now. He was, forevermore, Evan Nash. He was ready to move on and be who he was always meant to be.

Wrapped in his father’s arms, he felt safe. He felt loved. He felt like he belonged, and wasn’t that something?

***

Hen was staring at him. He knew that she noticed him noticing her staring at him, but she hadn’t stopped. Evan leaned further into Tommy’s side, staring back at his friend as she raised a brow. Tommy’s arm came down from where it’d been resting on the back of the couch and wrapped around Evan, even as he carried on his conversation with Chimney and Maddie.

Karen nudged Hen, but the woman didn’t break eye contact with Evan.

‘What?’ Evan mouthed, lifting a hand in exasperated confusion.

Hen smirked and stood up from her chair. She came to sit directly next to Evan who shrunk even further into his boyfriend’s side. He felt Tommy turn his head to see what Evan was trying to get away from.

“Baby, you okay?” Tommy murmured.

“I think she’s going to kill me,” Evan muttered.

“I’m not going to kill you,” Hen rolled her eyes.

“Why are you staring at me like that, then?” Evan asked as he moved to give Tommy a little more space.

His boyfriend didn’t let him get far, keeping his arm firmly around him.

“You look different,” Hen said. “You got a tan. You’re glowing.”

“I spent a few days in Texas,” Evan shrugged as Tommy resumed his conversation with Chimney.

“Mmhmm,” Hen stared at him, looking unimpressed. She moved to sit as close to him as he was to Tommy. “You did it,”

“Hen!” Evan hissed. He looked around at everyone gathered.

No one was looking at him, but he didn’t particularly want to talk about his sex life in his father’s house, definitely not during his father’s birthday celebration.

“You did, didn’t you?” She grinned.

“I don’t want to talk about this right now, or ever,” Evan said firmly.

“That means you did,” She decided.

“None of your business,” Evan said petulantly.

Hen all but cackled, drawing Tommy’s attention again.

Thankfully, Evan was saved from the humiliating conversation by his Dad standing up and the room went silent.

“I just want to say,” Bobby addressed the room at large. “thank you all for coming to help me celebrate my birthday. I appreciate all the gifts, but I have to tell you that they pale in comparison to the gift I received a little over a month ago. My son, after twenty-four years of uncertainty, was found alive and well.”

The attention in the room was directed to Evan who flushed.

“He is the best gift I could ever ask for.” Bobby said, voice wavering. “and having him here today, means the world to me. This is the best birthday I’ve had in a long time. So, thank you all.”

Tommy leaned in and pressed a kiss to the side of Evan’s head.

“That was sweet,” he murmured.

“Yeah,” Evan replied. “It was,”

He caught Bobby’s eye across the room and smiled at him as Tommy pressed another kiss to his temple. Bobby smiled back looking genuinely happy as Athena took his hands in her own and leaned up to press a kiss to his cheek.

They were all happy. Evan felt like he was on top of the world in that moment. Nothing could bring them down.

Chapter 28: Chapter Twenty-Eight

Chapter Text

Tommy and Evan’s shifts didn’t always match up which was frustrating, but Tommy cared enough about their relationship that he was willing to do whatever was necessary to see Evan as often as possible. If that meant going and getting coffee in the short period of time between his shift ending and Evan’s beginning, that’s what he was going to do.

He was bone tired, but the feeling of Evan’s hand in his own as they walked around the little park two blocks from the 118 firehouse was enough to keep him awake.

They each had a cup of coffee in their hands and Evan had asked to hear about Tommy’s shift, so he was regaling him with a tale about a particularly daring cliffside rescue they’d done in the dead of the night.

Evan listened with rapt interest, but he was distracting Tommy by rubbing his thumb over the older man’s knuckles tenderly.

Tommy stopped them at the edge of the park closest to Evan’s work and came to stand in front of him.

“Why don’t you come to my place when your shift is over?” He asked. “I’m off tomorrow, too,”

Evan smiled and it lit up his entire face and made his eyes sparkle. Tommy couldn’t help but smile as well. It was impossible to be anything but happy when Evan smiled.

“Yeah, okay,” Evan agreed.

Tommy leaned in and pressed a long kiss to his boyfriend’s lips. Evan’s hand came up to grip his bicep and Tommy placed his hand on Evan’s hip.

They pulled away when a car honked right next to them. They glanced over to see Chimney glowering at them from his car.

“Need a ride, Nash?” Chimney asked.

Evan huffed out a laugh. “Yeah, thanks,” he looked back at Tommy. “I’ll see you in twelve hours,”

Tommy smiled. “Be safe, I… I’ll see you,”

Evan grinned and got into Chimney’s car. Tommy waved as they pulled away from the curb and headed off to work.

Tommy could’ve kicked himself because there was no way that he just almost slipped up and told Evan that he loved him after a month.

***

Tommy was already in bed dozing when he felt the mattress dip beside him and strong arms wrap around him. As he started to become more alert, Eva leaned down and pressed a kiss to his cheek, rubbing a hand on his chest over his heart.

Tommy hummed, turned over in Evan’s arms to push him flat against the bed, and sprawled himself half over him, his chin propped against Evan’s chest.

“Hey, baby,” he smiled sleepily. “How was work?”

“We responded to this one guy who got his foot stuck in a storm drain,” Evan recalled. “He refused to tell us how it happened.”

Tommy chuckled and lifted himself up on his hands so that he could lean over his boyfriend and give him a kiss. Evan’s hand immediately came up to cradle his face, his other going to Tommy’s hip and Tommy swore he could have melted.

He moved to press a kiss to Evan’s cheek, and then he buried his face in his boyfriend’s neck, pressing kisses to the skin there. Evan sighed contentedly and tangled his fingers in Tommy’s hair.

He could do this forever, he thought. It felt so right to have Evan here, in bed with him. It felt so natural and easy and safe to be with him. Falling in love with Evan was the easiest thing he’d ever done. He’d never felt like this before, not with any of the men he’d dated in the past and definitely not with the women.

Evan was different. He was something special. Tommy would work every day for the rest of his life to make sure that Evan knew just how treasured he was.

***

Evan opened the door of his apartment to see Chimney standing there.

“Uh, hi,” Evan said.

“Come on,” Chimney gestured for Evan to follow him. “we’re getting lunch,”

“Did I forget we had plans?” Evan asked as he grabbed his phone, wallet, and keys.

“No,” Chimney said simply. “Do I have to make plans with you before I drop by?”

“Well, no,” Evan said as he followed Chimney downstairs and to his car.

Chimney drove them to a diner they’d been to before that had great burgers and milkshakes. They talked about Maddie, Jee-Yun, and work.

Apparently, Maddie had been getting more and more reserved. Chimney was starting to worry about her and felt guilty every time he left Jee-Yun with her to go to work. He wasn’t sure what else he could do. Evan told him that Maddie, more often than not, didn’t pick up when he called anymore, and on the rare occasions that she did, she sounded exhausted.

“I was beginning to think that she’s still pissed at me for going to Texas,” Evan admitted.

“No,” Chimney shook his head. “she was never mad about that, you know she understands that feeling; the need to run. No one was mad at you, Evan. We were all just worried.”

“I didn’t mean to worry anyone,” Evan sighed. “I just needed some time,”

“And that’s completely understandable,” Chimney said with finality. “Next time, tell your boyfriend not to call me every day asking if I’ve heard from you,”

Chimney asked about Tommy – ‘When’s the wedding?’ – and Bobby – How’s that going? – and Evan’s time in Austin.

They discussed horseback riding and deer hunting. Apparently, Chimney hadn’t done either before. They decided that maybe they’d take a group trip to Texas one day and see if Judd would take them out again.

Chimney paid the bill, saying that he was the one who forced Evan to come out with him and he dropped him back at his apartment.

Evan didn’t have much to do with the rest of his day, Tommy was coming over after his shift so that Evan could cook him dinner. Evan had hoped that maybe his boyfriend would stay the night. Ever since they’d had sex for the first time after Evan came back from Austin, he’d been unable to stop thinking about it. He felt insatiable. He found himself remembering the feel of Tommy’s naked skin against his own, their tongues sliding together lazily as Tommy thrust fast and hard against him, Tommy’s hands wandering his body, Tommy panting against his mouth as Evan moaned and writhed underneath him.

Being with Tommy was euphoric in a way that sex had never been for him before.

Evan tried to get those thoughts out of his mind as he made the lasagna recipe his father had taught him on their last shift. He made some garlic bread and tossed a salad. He picked out a bottle of red and finished setting the table just before Tommy let himself into the apartment.

“Hey, baby,” Tommy greeted him, taking his jacket off and draping it over one of the stools at the island.

Evan greeted him with a quick kiss. “Hi,” he smiled. “Dinner’s almost done,”

“It smells delicious,” Tommy complimented. “Is there anything you need me to do?”

“In the kitchen? Absolutely not,” Evan teased him. “You could stay the night, though,”

The suggestion was hesitant, but it made Tommy smile.

“I’d love to,” he agreed.

Evan gave him his best sultry smile and Tommy’s breath hitched.

The oven timer went off and Evan stepped away from Tommy.

“Sit!” He insisted, pointing at the table.

He took the lasagna out of the oven and brought it over to the table before going back for the garlic bread.

“Evan, this looks amazing,” Tommy said as Evan started dishing the food out. “I could get used to this,”

Evan grinned at him. “Then my plan is working,” he winked. “If nothing else, you’ll keep me around for the good food,”

Tommy took him by the hips and pulled him back into his lap. Evan looked down at his boyfriend who was looking up at him with a soft, tender look.

“I’ll keep you around for a lot more than that,” Tommy murmured. He brought his hand up to the curve of Evan’s jaw and he pulled him down into a tender kiss. “I’ll keep you for the kisses,” he pressed another kiss to Evan’s lips. “and the fun facts, and the hugs, and the good conversation,” he nipped at Evan’s neck playfully. “and the mind-blowingly good sex,”

Evan laughed. “and here I thought I was going to have to charm you into bed with me tonight,”

“Mm-mm,” Tommy hummed. “Charm is nice, but not necessary,”

He let Evan out of his lap, and they ate their dinner. Tommy made all kinds of appreciative noises and kept telling him how good the lasagna was. He insisted on helping clean up and load the dishwasher. They laughed and joked with each other as they cleaned everything up and put things away.

Evan started turning the lights off downstairs and Tommy locked the front door before he all but pulled Evan up the stairs to the bedroom and pulled him into a steamy kiss.

Evan moaned into Tommy’s mouth as his boyfriend started undressing him. Evan started unbuttoning Tommy’s shirt and he smoothed his hands down the muscled planes of his chest, his hand brushing over the shrapnel scar over Tommy’s ribs.

Tommy tangled his fingers in Evan’s hair and tugged, making Evan tilt his head to the side, giving his boyfriend enough room to start attacking his neck with his lips, teeth, and tongue.

Evan moaned again. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you,”

“Good,” Tommy pulled away and pushed Evan back onto the bed. “I can’t stop thinking about you, either.”

Evan unbuckled Tommy’s belt, popped the button on his jeans, and started pushing them down his hips. Tommy shimmied out of them and helped Evan out of his own pants before gently nudging him onto the bed and he followed him with a predatory grin as Evan scooted back until he could lay his head against the pillows.

Tommy kissed down his chest, tongue tracing every tattoo he came across. Evan fisted the comforter in his hands as Tommy prepared him, bucking his hips and curling his toes until he was so desperate for it that he pulled on Tommy’s hair, gasping as he pleaded with him.

Tommy finally took pity on him and hiked one of Evan’s legs over his shoulder and wrapped the other around his waist as he entered him.

Evan moaned, almost in relief, at the feeling of Tommy sliding home inside of him.

“Feels so good,” he murmured, and Tommy pressed a long kiss to his forehead.

“I’ve got you, baby,” he promised.

Evan held on tightly to Tommy’s hand, their fingers threading together. He then gripped Tommy’s other bicep, bracing himself. Tommy, unlike the first time, gave it to him hard and fast. It left him gasping, and at some points he thinks, screaming in ecstasy.

He was shaking with pleasure just before he found his release, untouched. He was still trying to catch his breath when Tommy’s teeth pierced his shoulder, drawing blood as his hips still and he shook with the force of his org*sm.

Tommy collapsed on top of him and Evan wrapped his arms around him as best as he could with his leg still hiked up. They caught their breath and pressed chaste kisses to whatever skin they could reach on the other man before Tommy pulled back enough to slowly ease Evan’s leg down, pull his hips back, and roll over to lay beside him.

Tommy groaned. “I don’t think I’m going to be able to stand for a few minutes,”

“I don’t think I’m going to be able to walk for a week,” Evan chuckled and snuggled into Tommy’s side.

“You don’t need to,” Tommy joked. “You can just stay here, in bed, with me,”

“Don’t tempt me,” Evan said pressing a kiss to Tommy’s jaw.

Eventually, Tommy got up and cleaned the both of them up only to crawl back into bed and gather Evan in his arms, holding him close all night long.

Chapter 29: Chapter Twenty-Nine

Chapter Text

“What is that?” Hen demanded as Evan was about to put his LAFD shirt on.

Her eyes were fixed on the bite mark that Tommy had left on his shoulder. Evan spotted Chimney coming toward the locker room and he quickly finished pulling the shirt over his head and grabbed his button-up uniform shirt to layer on top of it.

“It’s nothing,” Evan hissed back.

“That is not nothing, Evan,” Hen stepped in closer right as Chimney walked into the room.

“Hey, Chim,” Evan greeted and hightailed it out of the room, away from Hen and the uncomfortable conversation that he’d found himself in.

Upstairs, he found his father setting everything out on the counter and the dining table, preparing for Eddie’s arrival. There was a cake, front and center on the counter that Hen had specially ordered.

Congratulations on not dying!

Evan laughed at the words iced on the sheet cake.

“Straight to the point, huh?” Bobby asked with an amused twitch at the corner of his lips.

“Something like that,” Evan agreed.

“You free for dinner tonight?” Bobby asked. “May and Harry have been asking after you,”

“Oh, I can’t tonight,” Evan said apologetically. “Tommy and I have a date. He’s taking me up in the helicopter again,”

Bobby smiled, not looking too bothered that Evan couldn’t come over.

“Sounds like fun,” Bobby agreed. “We’ll plan something, okay?”

“Yeah,” Evan agreed.

Hen and Chimney bolted up the stairs and beelined for the duo.

“He’s here!” Hen said. “He’s changing.”

Evan moved to stand near the couch, trying to act like he wasn’t waiting for Eddie to come up the stairs. He half-heartedly watched the TV which had the news playing. Taylor Kelly was on the screen which was enough to make Evan want to change the channel, but he wouldn’t be watching very long.

Soon enough, Eddie came ambling up the stairs. His face brightened when he spotted Evan and in an instant, the younger man was moving toward him, clapping his hands together.

“Welcome back, Firefighter Diaz!” Evan hollered.

Eddie laughed and let Evan pull him into a bro-hug as Hen, Chimney, and Bobby hurried over to welcome him back as well. They were all cheering and loudly congratulating him on his recovery and good-naturedly ribbing him about taking his sweet time to come back.

Eddie was grinning. He hugged each of them, eyes shining brightly as he enjoyed the celebration. Finally, the other three backed off and Evan wrapped an arm around his best friend’s shoulders.

“There’s cake,” he hissed in a stage whisper.

“Ooh,” Eddie let Chimney lead him over to the kitchen and show him the cake that they’d bought.

Hen stayed back with Evan and looked at him with a raised brow. Dread pooled in Evan’s stomach and he glanced over at where the team was gathering around the cake, getting ready to cut and serve it.

He wondered if maybe he could dart over there and avoid this topic for longer, but he was also worried that if he did that, Hen would see fit to vaguely ask about it while they were on their way to a call in the Engine. Then, Evan would be forced to either come up with a story or just point blank say that his boyfriend bit him during sex and he’d loved it. Evan thought he’d rather die than say that in front of his father, though, so he was stuck talking to her now.

“Now can we talk about it?” Hen asked.

“Why is this such a big deal?” Evan asked her. “Just forget that you saw it, Hen.”

“I can’t,” Hen said, sounding slightly distressed. “Trust me, I want to, you’re like my brother, I do not want to think about you like that, but I can’t unsee what I’ve seen,”

“Hen, it’s nothing,” Evan said firmly.

“It’s a bite mark, Evan,” Hen said. “A big one. That definitely broke the skin,”

“What do you want to hear?” Evan said, whisper-yelling. “That I like it rough?”

Hen looked absolutely disgusted. “I want to hear that you’re alright,” Hen corrected. “That it was consensual.”

Evan smirked, even as he felt incredibly touched by her concern. He couldn’t help teasing her.

“Oh, it was consensual alright,”

Hen put her fingers in her ears, a panicked look on her face when it looked like Evan was going to continue that line of thought.

“La la la la la!” She sang loudly walking away as fast as she could, toward their friends.

Bobby, Eddie, and Chimney looked over inquiringly. Evan just shook his head and held his hands up in the classic ‘not my fault’ gesture.

“Do we even want to know?” Eddie asked, amused.

“Nope,” Evan said. “I tried to warn her,

After that, the shift went by quickly. They had quite a few medical calls, a kid who climbed up on the roof of his house and got stuck, and a kitchen fire. It was great having Eddie back in the field with him. It was like he’d been missing a limb all this time and he’d finally gotten it back. None of the other firefighters that had filled in for him had worked nearly as well with Evan as Eddie did. They just understood each other on a level that very few others could reach.

TK was probably the only other person that Evan knew who could tell what he was thinking without even having to look at him. Tommy was well on his way to getting there, but they were still getting to know one another.

After his shift, Evan stopped by his loft, packed a bag with more than he needed for one night, and headed over to Tommy’s house.

Tommy had asked Evan if he would consider bringing some of his stuff over to the house to keep there, so he wasn’t always having to bring an overnight bag. So, Evan had picked out a few shirts, some sweats and shorts, and a hoodie, as well as some extra toiletries that he’d had and a spare phone charger to leave at Tommy’s house.

His boyfriend wasn’t in the house when he arrived, so he went and put the bag on the bed, gave Jax some love, and went into the kitchen to see what Tommy had so that he could make them dinner before their helicopter date. The kitchen was pretty bare so they either needed to go to the store or they needed to order take-out.

Evan headed toward the garage, knowing that Tommy was probably elbow-deep in a car engine, blasting old rock music, not realizing that it was anywhere near time for Evan to be there. Sure enough, Evan pushed the garage door open and the sound of ACDC hit him in the face. The hood of an old junker that Evan didn’t recognize was popped open and he could just barely see his boyfriend bent over examining the engine.

Jax ran out into the garage and sat down by Tommy’s feet, looking up at him. His owner presumably felt the fur brush against his legs because he startled and looked over toward the door. His eyes went wide when he spotted Evan and he glanced at the clock on the wall.

“Aw, sh*t,” Tommy said, and he killed the music. “Baby, I’m sorry. I lost track of time.”

Evan laughed. “You have nothing to be sorry for, other than an empty fridge,” he greeted Tommy with a hug and kiss and wrinkled his nose. “You also need a shower,”

“Are you trying to tell me that I stink?” Tommy teased him.

“Yes, actually,” Evan agreed. “I’m not getting in any sort of vehicle with you while you smell like that,”

Tommy chuckled. “Alright, I’ll take a shower and then we can go to the store.”

He closed the hood of the car and turned back to Evan.

“How was work?” Tommy asked. “Eddie have a good first day back?”

“Yeah, it was nice,” Evan nodded. “I didn’t realize how much I missed having him as my partner. Oh, if Hen hasn’t already texted you, don’t be surprised if she does,”

Tommy looked at him with trepidation. “Why?”

“She saw the bite mark,” Evan gestured toward his shoulder. “She wanted to make sure that I was being treated well,”

“Oh, yeah?” Tommy reached out and pulled Evan to him by his waist. He nuzzled his neck and pressed a gentle kiss to his jugular. “Are you being treated well?”

“Hmm,” Evan pretended to think about it and giggled when Tommy nipped at his neck. “I’m being treated so well,”

He wrapped his arms around Tommy’s neck and pulled the man into a kiss. They stood there for a moment, lips connected, arms wrapped around each other, lightly swaying in the garage of Tommy’s house, just enjoying the feeling of being together.

Tommy pulled back slowly, breaking the kiss as gently as he could like he was trying not to shatter the piece of the moment.

“How has it only been two months?” Tommy asked, breathlessly.

Evan brought a hand up to cup his face. “It feels like I’ve known you for years,”

Evan looked into Tommy’s eyes, and he could tell that there was something the older man wanted to say, but he was holding back. His breath caught in his throat, and he wondered if Tommy felt the same way that he did.

“What is it?” Evan asked.

Tommy’s eyes were darting back and forth between Evan’s and he licked his lips nervously.

“I love you,” Tommy whispered. “and I know it’s early, but, God, I love you, Evan,”

Tommy loved him. It seemed impossible that such an amazing, wonderful, caring man had fallen in love with him, but here Tommy was, saying that he had. It made his heart swell so much in his chest that he thought it might burst.

Tommy loved him and Evan loved him, too.

They were in love.

Evan felt himself tear up and he felt a few traitorous tears slide down his cheeks as he smiled at Tommy and brushed his thumb against his boyfriend’s cheekbone. He could see the anxiety in Tommy’s eyes after his admission and he was quick to assuage his fears.

“I love you, too,” Evan told him, voice wobbling with emotion. “it’s not too early, because I love you, too.”

Evan barely had time to spot the elation in his boyfriend’s eyes before Tommy practically tackled him and wrapped him tighter in his arms, crushing their mouths together. Evan kissed him back frantically, gripping his shirt in one fist and letting his other hand grasp the back of Tommy’s neck.

Evan’s stomach swooped as they kissed passionately. Tommy backed him up until Evan was pressed against the wall. He braced one hand beside Evan’s head, caging him in. He pulled back enough that he could speak, but his lips were still brushing against Evan’s.

“I love you,” he murmured.

Evan smiled widely and Tommy did, too, pressing his smile against Evan’s whilst pulling him impossibly closer.

“I love you, too,” Evan said giddily.

Tommy pressed kisses all over Evan’s face, along his jaw, and down his neck before he came back up to press their lips together again.

“I love you,” Evan said. “but you really do stink,”

Tommy laughed and backed off a little.

“Alright, alright,” he said and he leaned in for one last kiss.

Evan kissed him chastely and then lightly shoved him.

“Go take a shower, old man,” he teased.

Tommy’s eyes lit up with amusem*nt. “Oh, is that how it is?” he asked.

“That’s how it is,” Evan nodded, grinning. “We need to go to the store, remember?”

“Right,” Tommy couldn’t seem to stop smiling, his eyes were practically glowing with happiness. “I’ll go take a shower. I love you,”

Evan laughed. “I love you, too,”

Tommy hesitated for a split second before he headed into the house and Evan heard his feet beating against the stairs a moment later.

Evan tidied the garage up before he headed inside, too, calling Jax to follow him. He went into the kitchen and looked through the fridge and cabinets, making a grocery list as he did so that they’d be ready to go once Tommy was finished with his shower.

He had just finished the list and shoved it in his pocket when arms wrapped around him from behind and he was enveloped by the sweet smell of a freshly showered Tommy. Lips pressed against his cheek in a sweet kiss.

“Hey, baby,” Tommy murmured. “Ready to go?”

“Yeah,” Evan said. “You’ve got to let me go, though,”

“Mmm,” Tommy pressed his nose against Evan’s neck and breathed him in. “Can’t I just stand here a little longer and hold the man that I love?”

Evan relaxed back against Tommy’s body, trusting his boyfriend to hold him up. Tommy’s arms tightened around his waist.

“Well, we would miss our time slot for the chopper,” Evan pointed out.

Tommy groaned and let Evan go with one last kiss on his cheek.

“Alright, let’s go,”

Half an hour later they were walking down the aisles of the grocery store, grabbing the items off Evan’s list. They debated the difference between two different kinds of cheeses and Evan thought that he could do this forever.

He could stand in grocery store aisles and debate on which kinds of groceries to buy with this man for the rest of his life. He could wake up in his arms and fall asleep with his ear pressed to his chest every night for the rest of his life. He could look into those beautiful eyes, kiss those perfect lips, and hold that large, calloused hand for the rest of his life.

Tommy threw both kinds of cheese into the cart and continued on his way down the aisle. Evan followed him, consulting the list.

“Alright, you need some milk, eggs, and egg whites,” Evan told him as they neared that section.

Tommy walked around the cart, leaving Evan to grab the handle and hold it steady while his boyfriend grabbed what they needed.

“Buck?” A voice came from behind them.

Evan turned to see Ali approaching.

“Oh, hey,” Evan said glancing at Tommy who raised an eyebrow at him as he put the groceries in the cart. “Ali, how are you?”

Ali smiled. “I’m great, it’s good to see you,”

“Yeah, you too,” Evan gestured toward Tommy. “Ali, this is my boyfriend, Tommy. Tommy, this is Ali, my ex-girlfriend.”

Tommy looked at her appraisingly, his lips thinned slightly as he smiled at her.

“Nice to meet you,” he said, not offering her his hand to shake.

“You as well,” Ali said, taking his coldness in stride.

Ali looked back at Evan with a more hesitant smile this time. “How’s your leg?”

“Healed,” Evan answered.

“I was worried when I heard that you’d gone missing,” Ali admitted. “I thought about reaching out, but I wasn’t sure it’d be welcome,”

Evan smiled awkwardly. “Thanks, I’m fine,” he said. “And uh, we have somewhere to be here soon, so it was nice to see you, Ali,”

“Oh, yeah, of course,” Ali agreed. “Maybe we could get coffee sometime.”

“My schedule’s pretty packed,” Evan said, pushing the cart forward so that Tommy could take the handle again.

They continued on their way through the store, leaving Ali behind them.

“I’m sorry about that,” Evan said quietly as they made it to the frozen section and Tommy looked over Evan’s shoulder at the list.

Tommy looked at him incredulously as he started pulling things out of the freezers.

“What do you have to be sorry about?” Tommy asked. “It’s not like you invited her here. You introduced me as your boyfriend, she asked you out, you were very clear about where you stood, and you didn’t agree to go out with her. You did everything right, baby.”

“I should have stood up for you,” Evan said, regretfully. “I should have pointed out how disrespectful it was that she asked me out in front of you, knowing what you are to me,”

Tommy shook his head. “I’m not interested in hearing her apologies. I’m not interested in seeing her again. You did what you had to do to get us out of that situation as quickly as possible, which is exactly what I wanted. I don’t care what she thinks about us, Evan. She doesn’t matter. What matters is that you and I know exactly where we stand with each other. I love you and you love me and we’re in this for the long haul, right?”

“Right,” Evan agreed.

“So, then we’re fine,” Tommy said. “We’re great. Let’s finish getting our groceries, go home, make dinner, and then we’ll go on a romantic sunset helicopter ride, okay?”

“Okay,” Evan swayed forward to chastely kiss him and they continued on their way, Ali completely forgotten.

Chapter 30: Chapter Thirty

Chapter Text

Evan applauded as Albert graduated from the Fire Academy. Tommy and the rest of the 118 were gathered around him applauding as well.

Christopher tugged on the hem of Evan’s LAFD hoodie. Evan bent down so that his ear was near Christopher’s mouth.

“Yeah, buddy?” Evan asked.

“Is Albert going to work with you?” Christopher asked.

“No, buddy,” Evan answered him. “Albert is going to be a firefighter at the 133. We work at the 118,”

“Oh,” Christopher dragged the sound out, making Evan laugh.

They all gathered around Albert and congratulated him. Chimney wrapped his younger brother in a tight hug.

Eddie approached Evan and Tommy where they were standing off to the side, talking with Bobby, Athena, and Harry. Christopher came to lean against Tommy who placed a large hand on his shoulder.

“Hey, I’ve got to head out, Ana’s waiting,” Eddie told them. “You sure you’re okay watching him?”

“Of course,” Tommy answered.

“We’re going to the zoo,” Evan told him. “Dad, Athena, and Harry have decided to join us, and I’m about to go ask Hen if we can steal Denny, too,”

“Sounds like a fun day,” Eddie smiled, looking down at Christopher. “Have fun, listen to Evan and Tommy, they’re in charge, okay?”

“Okay,” Christopher said as Eddie leaned in, kissed his head, and hurried off toward his truck.

Hen and Karen gladly handed Denny off to Evan, Karen saying that they could use a day to just be together. They thanked Evan before hurrying off, smiling and giggling.

Tommy and Evan loaded the kids into the backseat of Tommy’s truck. Bobby and Athena followed behind them in Bobby’s truck. As soon as they got to the zoo, Christopher started telling his friends about all the things he and Evan usually went to see and the three boys started making plans, looking at the map near the zoo entrance.

Tommy approached one of the employees who was handing out paper maps and asked for three, bringing them back to their group, handing one to Bobby and Athena, and one to the boys, telling them that they could look at it as they walked around. He stood close to Evan’s side and held the map out in front of them.

“If we went this way we could see the reptiles and the Australia section, grab some ice cream, go through those two sections, and get lunch in Africa,” Tommy suggested, tracing the path with his finger.

“Sounds good to me,” Evan agreed and glanced at Bobby and Athena. “You guys good with that?”

“Lead the way,” Bobby smiled.

Evan took Tommy’s hand in his and they herded the three boys toward the reptiles. Tommy went to stand with them as they looked at snakes and he’d point out interesting patterns on their scales or gesture to the information posted outside their displays.

Athena ran a hand over Evan’s back as she passed by him and went to stand with Tommy and the boys. Bobby stayed by Evan’s side.

“The last time you and I went to the zoo together,” Bobby said quietly. “You were five and you’d just gotten out of school for the summer, and we went to the Como Park Zoo. You hated the snakes and made me carry you out of there, but you loved the giraffes, tigers, and elephants. You probably would have stayed until closing time staring at all the animals if I’d let you,”

“I do love animals,” Evan laughed. “And I love coming here with Chris,”

“Yeah,” Bobby laughed. “I know. It’s nice, knowing that not everything has changed. There are still some things that I already knew about you,”

Evan wrapped an arm around his father and squeezed.

“No matter what I’m always going to be your son,” he told him. “that’s never going to change. Whether I am scared of snakes or not, or I live with you or not, you’re my dad. And I’m always going to need you. I can let you give me a piggyback ride out of here if that would make you feel better,”

Bobby laughed and patted Evan on the back.

“No, buddy, that’s alright,” Bobby said, still chuckling. He looked over at Evan who had gone back to watching Tommy interact with the kids with a soft look on his face. “How’s it going with Tommy?”

Evan smiled a little wider. “He told me that he loves me,”

Bobby placed a hand on Evan’s shoulder and squeezed it. Evan looked up at his Dad to find him smiling.

“That’s great, son,” Bobby told him. Evan could hear genuine happiness in his voice. “Did… did you say it back?”

Evan grinned. “Yeah, I did,” he let out a happy little laugh. “I really love him. I, um, I think he’s the one.”

Bobby’s face lit up. “Yeah?” he asked.

“We’ve only known each other for two months,” Evan said. “I know it’s early by society’s standards, but um, I just, when I spend time with him, all I can think is ‘I could do this forever,’ You know?”

“I felt that way with your mother,” Bobby told Evan. “And I felt it with Athena, too. I proposed after only eight months with her, you don’t have to explain yourself to me, kid,”

Tommy, Athena, and the kids started heading out of the reptile area and Tommy glanced back, making eye contact with Evan and jerking his head, indicating that he and Bobby should follow them.

“Come on,” Bobby said, and they followed their group to the next area.

Evan watched Tommy as he talked with the kids and laughed, throwing his head back laughing. Bobby caught up with Athena and pointed to the kangaroos. The kids all went to the fence that separated them from the animals and pointed out every kangaroo they saw.

Tommy came to stand pressed up against Evan and he wrapped an arm around his waist.

“What are you thinking so hard about?” Tommy asked him, an easy smile on his face as his eyes searched Evan’s face.

“I just really love you,” Evan told him. “and you’re really good with them.”

Tommy smiled. “I love you, too. They’re good kids,”

“You’d be a good dad, someday,” Evan ventured, hesitantly.

They hadn’t talked about kids before.

Tommy’s smile didn’t falter. “You think so?”

“I know so,” Evan corrected.

Tommy kissed his temple and glanced back at their group before looking at Evan again.

“You’re going to be a good dad, too,” he said. “You’re really great with them. They love you.”

“I love them, too,” Evan grinned. “Like you said, they’re good kids.”

Then Tommy said something that damn near made Evan’s heart stop.

“Ours will be even better,” Tommy kissed his cheek and rejoined the boys as they moved on to the Koalas, Bobby right behind them.

Athena stopped and watched Evan’s face carefully as he shakily moved to walk side-by-side with her. His mind was racing, and his heart felt like it was going to beat right out of his chest. Not only did Tommy want kids, but he’d also just insinuated that he wanted them with Evan. He loved Evan and he wanted kids with him.

He needed a moment to process that.

“You are so gone on that boy,” Athena laughed, shaking her head.

“How can I not be?” Evan asked her breathlessly.

After all, up until that point, their relationship had been perfect. But no relationship could be perfect one hundred percent of the time and Evan knew that, so he wasn’t sure why he hadn’t seen this coming.

Tommy had come over to Evan’s loft to watch a new true-crime documentary that Evan had found. They’d been talking about their days, catching up after they’d both had long shifts when Evan had asked about Tommy’s family.

Tommy had immediately gotten defensive and started responding in short, stilted sentences.

“You know my entire family,” Evan pointed out. “I don’t even know if you have siblings or your parents’ names,”

“That kind of stuff isn’t important,” Tommy had said.

“I think if we keep dating that’s the kind of thing I need to know,” Evan said. “Especially in our line of work. What happens if I have to fill out paperwork in the hospital and I can’t even list your parents’ names on the form?”

Tommy had slammed his beer bottle down and turned to Evan, a strange look on his face, and snapped.

“Damn it, Evan, could you just drop it?” He raised his voice.

Evan flinched back and put some distance between the two of them and he could see the moment that Tommy noticed it. His face immediately softened, and regret filled his eyes.

“Baby, I’m sorry,” he said holding his hands up.

“No, it’s – it’s fine,” Evan said, grabbing the empty take-out container and starting to clean up, back to Tommy, trying to hide the likely pathetic look on his face. “I shouldn’t have pushed.”

Tommy sighed and didn’t say anything for a moment.

“I’m going to go get some air,” Tommy told him and Evan didn’t respond, listening to Tommy grab his keys and leave the apartment, the door shutting quietly behind him.

Evan looked over his shoulder and saw that Tommy was really gone. Evan felt his face start to heat up and tears began to fill his eyes and spill over, flowing down his cheeks. He gripped the edge of the counter and let his head hang as he began to sob, shoulders shaking.

He’d ruined it. The best relationship of his life, the man he’d fallen in love with, the man he’d honestly started to believe that he was going to marry, and he’d gone and ruined it, just like he always did.

Evan turned off the kitchen light and dragged himself over to the couch, sat down, head in his hands. He cried, mourning the relationship that he’d felt so comfortable and safe in. He mourned the feeling of Tommy’s arms around him and his lips pressing comforting kisses against his skin. He mourned the intimacy they’d found together, being able to talk about anything and everything with Tommy, at least he’d thought that he could.

Evan rubbed his face harshly and tugged at his hair as he beat himself up over the argument. He’d driven Tommy away. There really was something wrong with him, everyone left, it was just a matter of time.

He sat there for a while, the tears never stopped, they just kept coming. He heard the sound of a key in the lock of his door and heard it swing open and then shut again, the lock turning. He heard keys get tossed in the little bowl by the door and footsteps approaching the living area.

“Evan?” Tommy asked quietly.

Evan looked up at him in shock. “You came back,” he murmured.

Tommy’s expression was one of devastation as he took Evan in.

“Oh, baby,” He hurried over to Evan’s side and knelt beside him, framing his face in his hands. “Of course, I came back. I told you, I just needed some air. I wanted to get my thoughts in order before we talked this out.”

Tommy used his thumbs to wipe some of Evan’s tears away.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you, baby,” Tommy said gently. “I don’t ever want to hurt you. I love you so much. I just needed a minute, and it’s not like there’s another room to escape to in here. I should have been more clear and told you that I’d be right back. I’m always going to come back, Evan.”

Evan’s lower lip trembled and Tommy rested his thumb against it, gently.

“Everyone always leaves,” Evan said softly.

“Not me,” Tommy said with certainty. “I don’t care how long it takes me to prove that to you, a few months, years, if it takes a wedding, or if you don’t believe it until we’re old and gray. I’ll do whatever it takes to make you believe that I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone, baby,”

“I’m sorry,” Evan whispered.

“No, I’m sorry,” Tommy said. “I’m so sorry that I raised my voice at you. I’m sorry that I snapped at you. My family… it’s a sensitive subject. My father died a few years ago and he was an abusive, old drunk. My mother didn’t ever want to fight with him so she just stood by and watched. I have a younger sister, Mackenzie. I haven’t spoken to her in years. The old man adored her, so she didn’t understand when I joined the army, she resented me for leaving her when she was so young, no matter how many times I told her that I didn’t leave her I was running away from the asshole who used me as a punching bag.”

Evan grabbed Tommy’s wrists, the older man’s hands still framing his face.

“Honey,” Evan said quietly. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to push you. I just want to know everything there is to know about you.”

“I know, Ev,” Tommy pressed a kiss to each cheek. “And I want you to know everything about me, too. I just… I haven’t talked about my family since I was in my twenties. I’ve barely thought about them in that time and when you asked, I just panicked. I wasn’t really angry with you, baby, I was just overwhelmed which is absolutely no excuse for the way that I spoke to you. I can’t apologize enough.”

“I forgive you,” Evan said. “Just don’t leave me again, please,”

“Never, baby,” Tommy pressed a kiss to lips. “How about this? I stay the night and in the morning, I will take you on a very romantic breakfast date before my shift.”

“That sounds nice,” Evan sniffled a little.

“And as for right now,” Tommy brushed his thumb against Evan’s cheekbone. “I can take you upstairs and make love to you for the next few hours,”

Evan’s breath hitched. “Hours?”

Tommy smirked a little. “You have no idea how long I could make it last if I really put my mind to it,” he tilted his head slightly. “Unless you’d like to find out,”

Evan nodded as much as he could while Tommy was still holding his face. “I’d like to very much,”

Tommy kissed him. “Then let’s get to it,”

He pulled Evan to his feet and into his arms. Evan, instead of initiating anything sexual right off the bat, sank into Tommy’s embrace, pressing his face into his neck. Tommy held him close and pressed loving kisses to his hair, running his hand up and down Evan’s back.

“I love you,” Evan told him. “Thank you for coming back,”

“I’ll always come back,” Tommy said again. “because I love you,”

Evan wrapped one arm around Tommy’s neck and he closed his eyes and relaxed. He didn’t ruin it. He didn’t drive away the best damn thing that had ever happened to him. Tommy was still here, he still loved him, and Evan still felt so incredibly safe in his arms. He felt so loved.

Chapter 31: Chapter Thirty-One

Chapter Text

Tommy had been asked to cover one of his co-worker's shifts after they’d gotten hurt during a rescue up in the Santa Monica mountains. He’d agreed, eager for the overtime pay as lately, he’d been trying to put as much money back as possible, planning for the future. His future with Evan. He knew, sooner rather than later, he’d probably be shopping for an engagement ring and then planning a wedding, a honeymoon, and eventually planning to adopt children.

They’d need the extra money and who was Tommy to turn down an opportunity to earn some more to put back?

The downside, however, is that he hadn’t seen Evan in three days.

His boyfriend had texted him that morning and asked if he could come bring him lunch at the station. Tommy had jumped on the opportunity to see him and had vehemently agreed.

He waited near the front door of Air Operations when it got close to time for Evan to arrive and that didn’t escape the notice of his team.

“Uh, Kinard?” Violet raised an eyebrow. “Whatcha doing over there?”

“He’s waiting for his boyfriend,” Zeke told her, smirking at Tommy. “Didn’t you hear?”

“I didn’t,” Violet pouted crossing her arms. “Since when do you have a new man?”

“It’s been like two months,” Eric butted into the conversation. “I can’t believe you haven’t heard. It’s the 118 captain’s kid,”

“Buckley?” Violet asked. “Or Nash or whatever his name is now?”

“That’s the one,” Cole nodded.

“Ooh,” Violet slid closer to Tommy. “He’s hot,”

“And taken,” Tommy said pointedly.

“Someone’s a little possessive,” Zeke commented.

“Can’t I just be proud that he’s all mine?” Tommy asked just before the door swung open and Evan walked in with a stack of pizza boxes.

Tommy hurried over to help him, his coworkers loosely following him, eager to meet his boyfriend.

“Hey, baby,” Tommy planted a kiss on his cheek and took the boxes from him. “You didn’t have to do all this, this is a lot,”

“I didn’t want to bring something for you and not your coworkers, too,” Evan said.

Tommy melted. His boyfriend was so incredibly thoughtful. While his coworkers may have poked a little fun at them for Evan bringing him lunch, no one would have batted an eye at not being included, but Evan went above and beyond and brought lunch for everybody.

“You’re amazing, you know that right?” Tommy murmured. “I’m so lucky to have you,”

Evan looked up at him with a soft smile and eyes that were wide, beautiful, and oh-so-blue. God, Tommy adored him. He had hated being separated from him for so long, and now that he was here, standing beside Tommy, it felt like he could finally breathe again.

Three days without seeing the love of his life was far too long, especially after the little incident they’d had a few days before. Tommy hadn’t communicated the way that he should have, and he’d raised his voice and made Evan flinch. He’d flinched and stepped away from him like he’d been afraid that Tommy was going to hurt him.

Tommy’s heart had broken in that moment and he’d known that he needed a moment to get some space and get his mind right. When he’d come back, because of course he was going to come back, he’d found Evan hunched over on the couch, sobbing.

Tommy hadn’t thought that he could feel any more like sh*t before he’d walked in on that. He discovered that he was wrong. He’d left and Evan had believed that he wasn’t going to come back. Tommy had explained and apologized profusely.

After that, he’d taken Evan upstairs and he’d taken him apart slowly; with his fingers, his tongue, and, finally, with his dick. He’d made love to him as gently, tenderly, and slowly as he could. Tommy had stared into his eyes, told him he loved him over and over again and pressed feather-light kisses to his face.

Evan had cried and Tommy had kissed his tears away and kept whispering to him, telling him how much he loved him and that everything was going to be alright. When Evan had started whining and writhing against him, looking for more stimulation, Tommy had gone a little harder, but he kept his slow pace, wanting to draw this moment out as long as he could, until sweat had broken out across Evan’s brow, and he was moaning near constantly, unable to even form words.

“I love you, baby,” Tommy murmured, staring down at his boyfriend as he thrust hard and slow. “Just let go. Let go for me,”

Evan’s eyes rolled back into his head and his body shook as he came. Tommy thought the same thing that he did now as he watched the man that he loved come undone.

I’m so lucky.

“I’m the lucky one,” Evan told him.

“Aw,” Violet crooned. “Hot and sweet,”

“And mine,” Tommy said pointedly. “so, paws off, you got it?”

Violet held her hands up in surrender, but she looked smug. Tommy glanced at Evan to see him beaming at him.

“Evan, these are my super annoying co-workers, Violet Peterson, Zeke Ramirez, Cole Murphy, and Eric Melton,” Tommy introduced. “Guys, this is Evan Nash, my boyfriend, and he brought us all lunch,”

His co-workers all greeted Evan brightly, thanking him for his generosity and following the couple to the break room. Tommy set the pizza boxes out while Violet grabbed plates. Tommy made him and Evan plates and led his boyfriend to a table in the corner of the room, set their plates down, and then went to grab them each a soda from the fridge.

He gave Evan the soda and sat across from him.

“I’ve missed you,” he said. “thank you for coming,”

“Of course,” Evan said brightly. “I missed you, too. I don’t like not seeing you for so long. It’s already hard enough when one of us works a twenty-four,”

“I know, baby,” Tommy reached across the table, took his hand, and rubbed his thumb across the back of it. “I just couldn’t say no to the overtime pay.”

“Overtime pay is pretty great,” Evan acknowledged. “Maybe I just need to bring you lunch more often.”

“I could definitely get used to it,” Tommy smiled as he picked his pizza up and took a bite. “Oh, this is amazing.”

Evan caught him up on the happenings of the last few days. He’d gone and hung out with Eddie and Christopher on their day off, and had family dinner at his dad’s house. May and Harry had come over again, this time not on a school night, and Chimney had called him again, still worried about Maddie.

Tommy told him about the calls he’d been getting and the precious few hours he’d gotten to go home, how he felt guilty about not picking Jax up from the twenty-four-hour doggy daycare service he used when he was on shift and had just slept until it was time to head back to work.

Evan had given him a sympathetic look. “If my apartment allowed pets I would offer to take Jax when I’m off, but no pets allowed,”

Tommy had thought about asking Evan to move in before, but now he was seriously considering it. He didn’t think they were ready for that quite yet, but he filed it away carefully in his mind as something to pull back out and mull over in the near future.

The idea of waking up to Evan every day and going home to him at the end of every shift was alluring. He loved the idea of Evan calling his house home, of him having more than a few spare sets of clothes, a toothbrush, and a phone charger there. He just didn’t want to rush this relationship more than he already had, although it was working out pretty well for him thus far.

“That’s alright,” Tommy said. “I understand, I just feel bad about leaving him alone so often.”

“If it would save you money I could always stay at the house with him on days that I don’t have anything planned and you have to work,” Evan offered.

Tommy looked at him, surprised. “I don’t want to put you out,”

“Babe, I’m offering,” Evan said. “I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t want to. You know I love Jax,”

“Yeah, he loves you, too,” Tommy said. “It would definitely help me out if you wouldn’t mind.”

“Am I able to go pick him up from daycare when we’re done here?” Evan asked. “I can take him back to the house and wait there for you. I can make dinner.”

“Well, that definitely sounds amazing,” Tommy grinned. “I’ll call ahead and let them know you’re coming and text you the address. Thank you for doing that for me,”

“What else are boyfriends for?” Evan asked.

Tommy went to answer but the alarm started to ring.

“Kinard! Ramirez! You’re up!” His captain yelled.

Tommy sighed, got up, and pressed a kiss to Evan’s lips. “Thank you, you’re the best, I love you.”

“I love you, too, be safe,” Evan told him.

“For you?” Tommy smiled. “Always,”

And he rushed off to his chopper, leaving Evan behind.

***

He would have left immediately if it weren’t for Violet, Cole, and Eric pulling their chairs up to the table he and Tommy had been sitting at.

“So, Nash,” Violet said. “You’ve got quite a reputation at the LAFD,”

“Yeah, it’s not great,” Evan said a little sheepishly. “the lawsuit and all,”

“Oh, that?” Cole asked. “I thought you were in the right for that. It totally wasn’t fair that they made you stay off duty, you were cleared.”

Violet and Eric nodded in agreement.

“I’m talking about you being a total badass,” Violet said. “The bombing, the tsunami, you climbed up that ladder totally unprotected while the sniper was on the loose, you survived nearly two weeks lost at sea,”

“You’re an LAFD legend,” Eric said.

“We can’t believe you’re dating Tommy,” Cole said. “This is amazing,”

“You’re like a celebrity,” Eric continued, looking starstruck.

“I don’t know that I would say that,” Evan said, a little uncomfortable.

“We need to get back to work,” Violet said, glancing out the glass walls. “but we’re glad that you and Tommy are together.”

“We’ve never seen him so happy,” Eric added.

Cole nodded in agreement.

“He makes me happy, too,” Evan said quietly.

Tommy’s coworkers smiled at him, cleaned up after themselves, and headed back to work. Evan cleaned up after himself and tidied the break room before he headed back to his car, bidding people goodbye as he went. By the time he made it back to his car, he saw that Tommy had texted him the address of Jax’s daycare and said that he’d been put on the list to pick up whenever he’d like.

It was only a five-minute drive from Harbor Station to the daycare. When he made it into the daycare, a young woman who looked to be in her early twenties looked up at him.

“Hello,” she greeted cheerfully. “how can I help you?”

“Hi,” Evan placed his hands on the counter. “I’m here to pick up Jax,”

“Last name?” she asked, typing on a keyboard.

“Kinard,” he said and then spelled it out when he was asked. “I’ll go grab him for you,”

She went into the back and when she came back she was walking Jax on a leash. The dog’s tail started wagging when he spotted Evan and he beelined for him, pulling the woman along behind him.

“Hey, buddy!” Evan greeted brightly and took the leash from the employee.

“Before you go,” she said. “I just need you to fill this out and here’s a packet, I’m sure your husband has one, but it’s policy to give one to everyone that’s on the pickup list, and I see Mr. Kinard just added you today.”

Evan filled out the contact form that she gave him and handed it back to her, trying not to visibly react to the word husband. Maybe he and Tommy needed to be married for him to pick Jax up so that’s what Tommy told them? Or maybe the employee just made an assumption? Either way, he didn’t correct her.

He took the packet that she had placed on the counter, thanked her, and took Jax back to Tommy’s house. He let himself in using the key and let Jax off the leash. Tommy still had a few hours left on shift, so he opened the back door, letting Jax out into the backyard and he settled on the back patio, watching the dog run in circles.

When it got to be too hot, he called Jax and went back inside, shutting the door behind him. They sat on the living room floor and played with Jax’s toys while Evan watched TV. He had another hour before he needed to start making dinner when his phone started to ring.

Incoming Call from Tommy

Evan’s brow furrowed and he picked up the call.

“Babe?” He asked.

“Hey, baby,” Tommy sounded a little strange.

“What’s going on?” Evan asked.

“Can you come pick me up?” Tommy asked.

Evan glanced at the time again. Tommy still had two hours on his shift. Something was wrong.

“Tommy, what’s going on?” Evan repeated.

“I hit my head on my last call and Cap had me go to the hospital,” Tommy said. “I got some stitches and a minor concussion, I just need a ride home,”

“You’re in the hospital?” Evan got to his feet hurriedly and grabbed his keys.

“Not in the hospital,” Tommy corrected. “I wasn’t admitted, I’m in the ER,”

“Tommy,” Evan groused.

“Baby, I’m okay,” Tommy promised. “Just a little cut on my forehead and a minor concussion,”

“Which hospital?” Evan asked. “I’ll be there soon,”

“Presbyterian,”

Evan made it there in record time and he went straight to the desk where a nurse, who looked like she was having a really sh*tty day, was typing on her computer.

“Hi, I’m here for Tommy Kinard, he called and asked me to come pick him up,” Evan said.

The nurse gave him an annoyed look and put the information into the computer. She pressed a button that opened the doors behind her.

“Through those doors, room twenty-three,” she said, monotone.

“Thanks,” Evan walked as quickly as he could without running through the doors and found the room that Tommy was in. He was sitting on the bed, playing on his phone when Evan walked in. “Honey, oh God,”

He took Tommy’s chin in his hand and tilted his face up. There was a large cut across his forehead with what looked to be at least ten stitches from what Evan could tell through the steri-strips. Tommy gave him a fond look.

“Baby, I’m okay,” he said as Evan looked into his eyes looking for evidence of a brain bleed. “I’m okay, I promise,”

“I thought I told you to be safe,” Evan murmured as he gave up on the neuro check and pressed a quick kiss to his boyfriend’s lips.

“I’m sorry,” Tommy put his hands on Evan’s hips. “I tried, it was windy, and I got blown against the cliff.”

“I’m just glad you’re okay,” Evan rubbed the backs of his knuckles against Tommy’s cheek. “I just don’t like seeing you hurt,”

Tommy gave him a wry smile. “Hazard of the job, I’m afraid.”

“Yeah,” Evan said quietly.

“Oh, good, your husband’s here,” A nurse walked into the room. Evan’s head spun; that was the second time that day that he had been called Tommy’s husband. “Alright, Mr. Kinard, your husband came in with a large gash across his forehead, we stitched that up. The stitches are dissolvable, but we’d like him to come in in two weeks just to make sure he’s healing alright, the information for the office is in this paperwork. No showering for the next twenty-four hours. When he does shower it needs to be patted not rubbed dry. Wake him every two hours throughout the night tonight, but he’ll be fine to sleep through the night tomorrow night. There’s a page that tells you what to look out for. If there’s any confusion, vomiting, a fever, or anything like that, bring him back in. Give him Tylenol for pain as needed.”

She handed him the discharge paperwork and he nodded, still trying to wrap his head around the fact that when she said Mr. Kinard, she had been addressing him.

“Okay, thank you,” he shook her hand.

“You guys are free to go, feel better, Mr. Kinard,” She left the room.

Tommy was watching Evan warily. “You don’t seem too freaked out, that’s good.”

“Well, this is the second place you’ve asked me to go to today where I’ve been called your husband,” Evan said. “Although the lady at the daycare didn’t call me Mr. Kinard. Are you going around telling people we’re married?” he asked with an easy grin.

He offered Tommy his hand and helped him to his feet. Tommy threw his arm around Evan’s shoulders and leaned on him just a little.

“I can’t say that I have,” Tommy answered. “Did it bother you? Them assuming that we’re married? Being called Mr. Kinard?”

“No, it didn’t,” Evan said. “It just took me by surprise,”

Tommy nodded and Evan led him out the doors of the Emergency Room.

“Do you want to wait here while I grab the car?” Evan asked.

“No,” Tommy shook his head. “I want to go with you,”

Evan tightened his arm around Tommy’s waist and headed in the direction of the car.

“Was Jax happy to see you?” Tommy asked.

“He nearly tore that poor woman’s arm off,” Evan laughed. “We played outside until it got too hot and then we played in the living room until you called.”

“Thank you for doing that for me,” Tommy said as they made it to the car.

Evan opened the passenger side door for him and Tommy flushed.

“Now I see why you like it so much when I do that,” he smiled. “how chivalrous,”

“Did they give you pain meds?” Evan asked as Tommy climbed into the Jeep and buckled in.

“They might’ve, but I don’t see how that’s relevant to what we’re talking about,”

“Mhmm,” Evan said and he closed the door.

He took a deep breath and rounded the car. Tommy was fine. He was alright. There was no reason for Evan to be as shaken up as he was, because Tommy was just fine. Evan was going to take care of him and that was that.

Chapter 32: Chapter Thirty-Two

Chapter Text

DAY ONE

“So, it’s pretty serious, then,” Evan said as he lined up his next shot at the pool table, looking up at Eddie who was standing next to Hen. Both of them were leaning on their pool cues watching him.

Bobby was sitting at a table adjacent to the pool table, waiting for his turn. It had been a slow shift, thus far, so they’d decided to kill some time and play a game while Chimney napped in the bunk room.

Evan had been texting Tommy on and off, he was also on shift and, for once, they got off at the same time, so they were spending the night at Evan’s loft.

“I don’t know what you mean,” Eddie said flatly.

Evan glanced at Hen and then at his father. Both looked perturbed by Eddie’s attitude toward his relationship with Ana. Evan didn’t understand why Eddie was continuing to date her if the idea of being serious with her made him react that way.

The idea of being in a serious relationship with Tommy filled Evan with elation. He couldn’t wait to take the next step with him. He couldn’t wait to one day be married and have children with him. If Eddie didn’t feel that way with Ana, then what was the point of being with her? Why waste both of their time?

“Well, you’re meeting her parents,” Evan shrugged, not sure what else to say.

“We’re meeting everybody,” Eddie said. “Her parents, her tios, her tias, her primos. Her whole family is going to be there. Besides, Tommy’s met your family and you two haven’t been dating as long as we have,”

“Well, Tommy and I’s relationship is serious,” Evan pointed out. “And he knew my family before he ever met me,”

“It’s a baby christening, Evan,” Eddie took his shot and gave him an exasperated look.

“Which sounds pretty serious,” Evan shrugged.

“It’s not like it’s Ana and Eddie’s baby, Evan,” Hen said, sounding tired of the conversation.

“That’s right, Baby Evan,” Chimney joked as he came in and leaned on the table that Bobby was sitting at. He turned to Bobby. “What are we talking about?”

“Ana’s sister’s having a baby,” Eddie answered. “Chris and I got invited to the christening next Sunday,”

“You and Chris at the christening?” Chimney asked. “That sounds serious,”

Evan couldn’t help but laugh, bringing his hand up to cover his mouth. He caught his father’s eye, and while Bobby looked as amused as him, he was clearly trying to hide it. He shook his head at Evan and the younger man tried to get himself under control.

“It’s not,” Eddie said, sounding agitated. “Not the way you guys are making it sound,”

Evan, personally, thought that Eddie was in denial. He thought that maybe he wanted out of the relationship and either he hadn’t figured it out yet or he was staying in it for some reason that Evan couldn’t possibly understand.

“It’s the next step,” Evan said. “You know, she’s showing you off to the entire family. It’s like the opening scene of The Godfather,”

Bobby stood up. “I’m pretty sure the christening is the last scene of The Godfather,” he corrected.

Evan frowned as Bobby passed him and patted him on the shoulder.

“So, when’s Tommy showing you off to his entire family?” Eddie asked.

Evan’s smile slid off his face. “As far as he’s concerned,” Evan said. “There’s no family to show off to,”

They’d talked a little more about Tommy’s family. His father was still a sore subject, but Tommy had shared a few anecdotes about times when he’d been kind. A few good memories. There were also a few stories that he’d shared that made Evan hate Shawn Kinard.

Rose Kinard was worse in Evan’s book. How could a parent stand by and watch as someone hurt their child? How could you not step in? How could you not defend your son?

Evan couldn’t help but be amazed by Tommy the more that he learned about him. How had he turned out to be so kind and warm? How had he turned out so gentle and loving? Evan got the privilege of seeing just how much Tommy loved the world and he wondered where that came from. Who taught him that? Or was that just intrinsically who Tommy was? Was he destined to be the way that he was in the same way that he was destined to be Evan’s?

Mackenzie, however, Evan felt that he could relate to. He had very hesitantly told Tommy as much. Evan had been nine years old when Maddie left and went to Boston with Doug. There was a similar age gap between Maddie and Evan. He remembered the betrayal that he’d felt when she left. He remembered feeling alone in the world because Margaret and Phillip didn’t pay him any attention.

“I’m not saying that it’s the same thing, I could be completely wrong,” Evan had said to him. “But Margaret and Phillip abused me in a way that is different from the way that they abused Maddie. It wasn’t as obvious, they clearly liked her more than me, but they abused her too. Do you think that maybe Mackenzie is mad because when you left all that attention shifted onto her? The way that it did to me when Maddie left?”

Tommy had gotten really quiet after that.

“Oh,” Eddie frowned. “Sorry,”

Evan shrugged and set his pool cue aside. He went to stand beside his father who shifted slightly to angle his body toward him.

Bobby turned the conversation back on Eddie. “You guys will have a great time,”

“He’s really looking forward to it,” Eddie said with a sigh. “He’s even agreed to let me buy him a new suit. We tried on the old one last night; barely made it past his elbows.” He chuckled. “I swear that kid’s shot up like a weed.”

“They’ll do that,” Hen said fondly.

“Last time he wore it, it still fit him,” Eddie said. “That was at his mother’s funeral,”

There was a beat of silence where no one knew what to say. Evan felt like the breath had been knocked out of him by the look on Eddie’s face. He so clearly wasn’t over Shannon. He should have given himself more time to heal, more time to mourn. Instead, he had moved on so quickly that he was panicking whether he knew it or not.

The silence was broken by Bobby’s phone buzzing incessantly.

“Earthquake alert,” he said as he picked it up. “That’s weird. You guys feel anything?”

Everyone frowned and shook their heads, looking around.

Next, Evan’s phone started to buzz and he picked it up. He looked at the screen and felt a sense of dread and panic start to overtake him.

“Uh, m-mine’s a tsunami alert,” He looked at his dad with wide eyes.

Bobby immediately grabbed his shoulder, trying to comfort him.

Eddie’s phone buzzed. “Mudslide warning.”

“It’s like our greatest hits,” Chimney joked.

If all of those things were happening, why were they not getting called out?

“Why isn’t the bell going off?” Evan asked his father, but Bobby was watching Hen with a furrowed brow.

Hen was staring at her phone, bewildered.

“Don’t tell us,” Chimney said. “the bombs are landing in five minutes,”

“No,” Hen said. “Evidently, I’m dialing 9-1-1,”

Hen quickly hung up.

“Your phone just decided to call 9-1-1 on its own?” Evan asked, frowning.

“I guess so,” Hen said, setting it aside. “because I didn’t do it,”

Within the hour the bells were going off and they were called out to help with a submerged car. A woman was apparently still trapped inside. The ride over to the incident was a little tense. Evan, Hen, and Chimney kept glancing over at Eddie who was very pointedly looking out the window.

“So, how’s Tommy?” Hen asked, breaking the silence.

“Tommy’s fine,” Evan replied. “He’s back to work now, there’s just a little bit of a scar,”

He traced the spot on his forehead where Tommy’s new scar was.

“When are you guys getting married?” Chimney asked.

Evan looked at him. “When are you and Maddie getting married?”

Chimney’s jaw dropped slightly.

“Okay, point taken,” Chimney said, backing off.

Hen and Bobby laughed.

“We aren’t even living together, yet,” Evan said. “We aren’t ready to get married,”

“No, but you’re either at his house or he’s at your apartment,” Eddie said. “You might as well be living together,”

“Yeah, okay,” Evan said. “Thank you, Mister It’s-not-serious,”

Eddie scoffed and everyone else laughed.

When they got to the site, there was a line of cars leading up to the water, people were arguing in the streets, and there were two cars submerged in the water. It was complete and utter chaos.

“Get her out of there,” Bobby called over the noise, eyes locking onto Evan’s.

“Let’s go!” Evan nudged Eddie as he grabbed a flashlight.

Evan and Eddie dove into the water. It was colder than Evan was used to thanks to the absence of the sun. He powered through and followed after his partner as he swam toward the submerged car. Through the darkness, with the help of the flashlight Eddie was holding, they could see a panicked woman inside the vehicle.

Eddie looked back at Evan and nodded. Evan pried the door open with a little brute force. Eddie surged forward, grabbed the woman, and they all swam for the surface. They gasped for air when they resurfaced.

Evan’s head began to hurt almost instantly as his ears were assaulted with noise from the continuing chaos. He could hear the sound of numerous car GPS’ saying ‘Turn left’ over and over. People were shouting and horns were honking impatiently.

“What the hell is happening?” Evan asked Eddie.

“I have no idea,” Eddie replied, looking around at all the chaos, still gasping for air.

They swam the woman over to Chimney and Ravi who pulled her out and they followed suit, dripping onto the concrete.

Hours later, Evan found himself in Tommy’s bed. He was naked as they’d had sex some time ago, and he was curled up against his boyfriend. His head was on Tommy’s chest, his hand resting on his abs, and Tommy’s arm was wrapped firmly around him, his other hand resting on top of Evan’s.

The TV was on and Tommy was watching the news. Evan, however, was starting to fall asleep.

“Malfunction?” Tommy scoffed in response to something they’d said on the news.

His chest moved under Evan’s head, making Evan shift slightly. Tommy immediately pressed a kiss to the top of his head in apology, his hand lightly stroking up and down his back. Evan hummed sleepily and Tommy huffed out a laugh.

“Go to sleep, baby,” he murmured as Jax wandered into the room and hopped up onto the bed, lying down at their feet.

Evan flexed his fingers against Tommy’s stomach and his boyfriend intertwined them.

“Don’t go,” Evan murmured.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Tommy promised. “I’m staying right here with you. Go to sleep, Evan, you’re exhausted.”

Evan let his eyes fall closed and he fell asleep in the safety of his boyfriend’s arms.

Chapter 33: Chapter Thirty-Three

Chapter Text

DAY FOUR

Something weird was happening.

First it was the GPS app malfunction a few days ago. Now, it was air traffic control having a malfunction.

The 118 had been called to help with a cardiac event and one turned into three after a ransom demand had been made in order to get the systems back online. Then the Downtown Courthouse got hit.

Los Angeles was officially in the middle of a Ransomware attack.

Not long after the downtown fiasco, Evan got a text from his boyfriend.

Tommy 1:27 PM – Are you okay?

Evan assured him that he was fine and asked if Tommy was alright as well, to which the pilot replied in the affirmative.

They dropped the three heart-attack victims off at the hospital which was in chaos, as well. The doctors and nurses were scrambling around looking harried. Evan and Eddie rolled one of the gurneys in and a doctor addressed Eddie by name.

“I wasn’t expecting to see you so soon,” she said. “How you feeling?”

Eddie had a strange look on his face. “Good. All good,” he replied.

Together they dropped the patient off in the exam room they were directed to and took the gurney back to the ambulance. While they were outside, Evan took the opportunity to question Eddie about the doctor.

“You know that doctor?” Evan asked.

“Uh, yeah, we’ve met,” Eddie said, cagey.

“How?” Evan asked.

“Well, you know,” Eddie started to say when Bobby came out the doors.

“Hey, they need some help in here with ventilation,” He called. “We’re going to stay for a while and help out where we can. Okay?”

Evan headed inside, Eddie on his heels. They were directed to two beds right next to each other and given control of the ventilation.

“Hey,” Evan turned around. “So, what was the deal with the doctor? Why was she acting if you’re alright?”

“It was nothing,” Eddie said. “I wasn’t feeling well the other day, so she checked me out.”

“She’s a cardiologist,” Evan pointed out. “At a hospital. Are you saying you had a heart attack?”

“No, I’m not saying I had a heart attack,” Eddie replied. “I’m saying the opposite. I’m saying I didn’t have a heart attack,”

“But you did think you were having a heart attack,”

Eddie looked around to make sure that no one was listening. “Can we just drop this?”

Chimney came to his rescue, much to Evan’s annoyance.

“Think the trauma bay’s on its feet for now,” He said as he and Hen approached the two of them. “We did all we could. Little snip there, a little stitch here,”

“You want us to tag you out?” Hen asked. “Give you a break?”

“Yeah,” Eddie said quietly.

“Great idea,” Evan said pointedly. “Eddie really shouldn’t be exerting himself right now,”

Chimney hovered over Evan’s shoulder and took over ventilation.

“Seriously, Evan?” Eddie hissed as Hen took over for him.

Eddie went off in the opposite direction as Evan disposed of his gloves. He found Bobby near the nurse’s station and went to stand a few feet away. He pulled his phone out and saw that he had a missed call from Tommy.

He dialed his number and put the phone to his ear.

“Baby?” Tommy answered the phone.

“Hey, babe,” Evan said quietly. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah,” Tommy was quick to reassure him. “I’m at home. I just wanted to check on you,”

“I’m okay,” Evan told him. “It’s nice to hear your voice,”

“Yours too, baby,” Tommy sounded tired. “How’s your shift going?”

“Well, we had three heart attacks at Air Traffic Control at LAX and brought them to the hospital where all the ventilators on the cardiology floor have shut off, so Dad has us helping out. Chim and Hen just took over for Eddie and I.”

“All the vents shut off?” Tommy asked, shocked.

“Yeah,” Evan said. “and when we got here, one of the cardiologists asked Eddie how he was feeling because apparently he got brought to the hospital a few days ago because he thought he was having a heart attack and he didn’t tell anyone!”

Evan didn’t catch whatever Tommy said in response because all the lights went out and there were several shouts around him as people got startled or they ran into things and fell.

“Woah, what the hell?” Evan made eye contact with his father.

“Evan?” Tommy asked.

“Hold on,” Evan murmured as he followed his dad over to Eddie and Hen.

“The generators should have kicked in automatically,” Eddie pointed out as they joined them. “Something’s wrong.”

“Chim’s finding out where they are,” Hen pointed at Chimney.

“Alright, guys back of the building near the service door,” Chimney called out to them.

“Evan get the tools and meet us there,” Bobby instructed.

“Copy that,” Evan said and he started heading back out to the rig. “Hey, babe, I’ve got to –“

A crash shook the building and sent a nurse careening into him.

“Woah!” Evan dropped his phone and caught her. He steadied her, picked his phone up to see the call was still active, and caught his dad’s eye from across the room.

Bobby waved him over to the group and they headed outside to look at what had happened.

“Evan?” Tommy sounded panicked as they made it outside.

“I’m here, I’m sorry,” Evan panted as they made it outside. “Holy sh*t,”

“What is it?” Tommy asked.

“The generators are going to have to wait.” Bobby sighed.

“Um, we’ve got a helicopter about to fall off the roof,” Evan said slowly. “I’m going to have to call you back, later. I love you.”

“Love you too,” Tommy said. “Be safe,”

“You know it,” Evan hung up.

Bobby led them back inside and up to the roof. The helicopter was barely hanging on to the window washing cables that had caught it.

“118, I want ropes, webbing, and the heavy winch on the rooftop, double-time!” Bobby yelled.

“We’re not waiting for any of that, right?” Evan yelled back.

“No!” Bobby answered. “First thing we do is get those rotors turned off,”

He looked at Evan and for the first time since they’d discovered their relationship to each other, Evan could see Bobby struggling not to ask him to sit out and stay safe.

“I can turn the rotors off,” Evan yelled. “Tommy’s been teaching me,”

Bobby visibly swallowed back a protest and he nodded slightly. It seemed to be the only acknowledgment he was capable of giving him.

Evan climbed into the helicopter and made his way up to the front. Hen checked on the people in the back while Evan put out the fire that had started and then he flipped a few switches to turn the chopper off and stop the rotors.

He felt it when the chopper started to slip off the rooftop and he heard Eddie yell from outside.

“It’s slipping!” Panic colored his best friend’s voice and that shook Evan to his core. Eddie didn’t panic.

As the helicopter started to go over the side of the building, some of the medical equipment fell against the windows and shattered the glass. The door nearest him opened and Evan half fell out of it. He managed to grab on to a seatbelt to hold himself up and then pull himself back in, but it was a bit jarring to look down and see how far he would have fallen.

The rest of the rescue went off without a hitch, up until his Dad went back into the helicopter to retrieve the heart that the helicopter had been transporting. Panic seized him as the chopper crashed to the ground, exploding in a ball of fire, only for him to look over the edge and see his dad hanging there.

When Bobby got his feet on solid ground again, Evan crashed into him, wrapping him in his arms.

The doctors rushed off with the heart and the 118 ran off to get the generators online.

Power in the city hadn’t come back on by the end of the shift, and Evan had a text from Tommy telling him to pack a bag, pack up his fridge, and come stay with him until the power came back on.

As it turned out, Tommy had a generator, so his house had power. Evan loaded his groceries into Tommy’s fridge, unpacked his bag into Tommy’s bedroom, and laid in Tommy’s arms on the couch, his back against Tommy’s chest, as they watched Harry Potter together.

It was incredible how not weird it was to just go home to Tommy after a shift, the loft not even a thought in his mind. It was so comfortable to come home after Tommy was already in bed and just crawl in beside him, kissing his forehead and laying against his chest.

Even in his sleep, Tommy would wrap his arms around him and hold him, murmuring something unintelligible. Evan would fall asleep with Tommy wrapped around him and wake up still caged in his arms. Jax always lying at their feet, a comforting, familiar weight.

It felt like home.